QFS pre school

[Breton]

[...]
the General Law suddenly increases the pressure significantly and the previous dynamic equilibrium is disturbed - this has been my personal experience.
[...]

Therefore, I conclude that first that it would be smart to not do anything to deliberately attract attacks by the General Law, as it would unnecessarily take one's time and energy away from the Work. Then secondly, one has to be mentally prepared as best as one can, for the inevitable "big attacks" served up by the General Law, if I may phrase it that way.

I sometimes speculate what form some of the bigger attacks might take. Usually I think it would involve someone one has close relations with (the writings on this site have plenty of examples). For myself, I suspect it might come one day as a confrontation with my wife. It is probably a rare thing that a husband and wife will turn out to be collinear so that they both begin to awaken and start to undertake esoteric work together. In fact, from what I have read in the Wave, it is much more likely that the matrix will probably have inserted a spouse in one's life to prevent or slow the Work even! We will see what my case brings. I will continue to fly under the radar as long as I am able, gathering knowledge. Then at some point, I would not be surprised if the knight on the quest for the grail, will be faced with a new situation and have to make some hard decisions...

I suspect this might not be too far removed from your experiences, if I read between the lines in your posts. Thanks for sharing!

_Breton_

 

[PepperFritz]

... the way I use my time so it appears as a hobby might be considered a strategy of "strategic enclosure" so that my close ones think these studies are only a hobby, so they won't feel threatened and begin to step up the inevitable attacks on this newbie... I conclude that first that it would be smart to not do anything to deliberately attract attacks by the General Law, as it would unnecessarily take one's time and energy away from the Work. Then secondly, one has to be mentally prepared as best as one can, for the inevitable "big attacks" served up by the General Law, if I may phrase it that way....

These are wise strategies for ensuring that you have a safe environment in which to pursue your esoteric studies. However, be aware that it is also practicing External Consideration towards your wife and family. All due care should be taken to ensure that your studies do not unduly disrupt the equalibrium of your home life, nor your ability to earn a living. Being a "good householder" is one of the prerequisites to the Work, as defined by Gurdjieff.

This situation feels bad to me because I consider the Work to be very important, but it seems to be only getting the status of a "hobby". Certainly that is how my wife views my studies.... I could also consider the possibility that this situation is an example of the the General Law acting upon me to make the everyday demands of life become so important so that I leave very little time for the Work.... I sometimes speculate what form some of the bigger attacks might take. Usually I think it would involve someone one has close relations with (the writings on this site have plenty of examples). For myself, I suspect it might come one day as a confrontation with my wife.... from what I have read in the Wave, it is much more likely that the matrix will probably have inserted a spouse in one's life to prevent or slow the Work even!.... at some point, I would not be surprised if the knight on the quest for the grail, will be faced with a new situation and have to make some hard decisions...

It is more likely that you yourself chose your wife (before coming into this incarnation) for the lessons you have learned and will learn from your relationship with her, both before and while undertaking the Work. Your life and relationships are a reflection of who YOU are, and therefore a rich source for doing the Work. The Work cannot be done in isolation, as something SEPARATE from your life. It can only be done within the context of your current life and relationships. The more difficulties your everyday life and relationships pose, the better conditions exist for the Work. It is gold to be mined, not useless rubble that is simply in the way. Remember: The Work is about changing YOURSELF, and the way you respond to situations -- not about changing others. Generally speaking, what disturbs you the most about those around you is what is strongest in YOU; otherwise you should be able to accept the flaws of others with tolerance and equalibrium.

Often when someone begins to "awake" and see the stark reality of what is around them, there can be the impulse to run away from the conditions you have created in your life, and the people from whom you no longer feel "compatible" with. It is tempting to use the Work as an excuse to escape all that you have created with the people in your life. But it doesn't work that way. You have a responsibility to those people -- you are the one who has created your current life (not the Matrix or General Law) and you are the one who must deal with it, in a way that is responsible and externally considerate to everyone involved.

As for "making some hard decisions" with regards to your wife: I don't know exactly what you mean by that, but remember: Those who want to leave relationships in order to do the Work are those who most need to stay in them -- in order to do the Work.


Some threads that you may find useful:

Marital Conflict, Children, and the Work

Can doing the Work in a non-collinear relationship be true love?

 

[anart]

It is more likely that you yourself chose your wife (before coming into this incarnation) for the lessons you have learned and will learn from your relationship with her, both before and while undertaking the Work.

I think it's important to consider that this is not always the case. In fact, it is often not the case, simply because of the fact that most relationships on this planet tend to be feeding relationships and nothing more. Of course, there are exceptions, but the devil is in the details and each case must be considered separately.

While it is true that those people who most want to leave a relationship are usually the ones who most need to stay in it in order to do the Work, there are also cases where leaving a relationship is the only way in which to proceed in the Work - however, it becomes a case of untying a Gordian knot and almost always entails much more conscious effort than remaining in the relationship would.

My point is that to discern such things, one must at least begin to Know thyself - and to do that, one must have maintained enough of a strategic enclosure, by employing external consideration, to have been able to make some progress in self-observation - the help of a network is crucial as well.

So, generalizations can be misleading since we do not know if this relationship is one that should be maintained or untied (and I doubt Breton knows either at this point in time) - however, no matter what, external consideration must rule the day and one must act with consideration at all times - eventually, as Breton comes to Know himself, things may become more clear, but at this point, it is impossible to make any objective statement about the relationship, its cause or its outcome. At least, this is my current understanding.

 

[Breton]

So, generalizations can be misleading since we do not know if this relationship is one that should be maintained or untied (and I doubt Breton knows either at this point in time) -

All I can say is amen to that, because I absolutely have not developed my perception well enough to know the answer about this relationship.

I can say, pretty confidently, that although it has not been anything resembling a peaceful and harmonious marriage, it sure has been a learning experience! I think that I have learned lessons that I cannot imagine learning if I had chosen the "peaceful" existence of a single life: which I often considered seriously as a valid choice for this personality called "Breton". (I put "peaceful" in quotes because there are plenty of single people on this forum who wouldn't necessarily consider their life peaceful. Just different.)

Also, at this time, I conclude that the lessons of my marriage are not yet over. We have a common goal to take care of small children together. In doing this there are probably valuable "lessons" waiting for us both. She just would be surprised (and afraid) if she knew all of the internal changes going on inside of her hubby.

The future is "open".

Thanks for your thoughts, Anart and Pepperfritz, they are very valuable to me.

_Breton_