QFS pre school

[The Mechanic]

I've been reading sott, cassiopaea, the wave and some other books in the last couple of years, and I've been a member of this forum since may 2006. Looking at my post count one can see that I'm not the most active forum member either.

Reading the material has been a real eyeopener for me. It's like reality has shifted in a lot of ways. Not only my view of what's happening in the world around me changed dramatically, but also my beliefs regarding the events and past of my own life. I must also say that suddenly seeing or suspecting what is true and what isn't in my life has at times been very shocking and saddening.

I haven't been posting for a couple of reasons, mostly fear of just making noise, fear of having to do work in stead of doing easier and less confronting activities... laziness I guess. Add into the mix that I'm quite the drug addict. But I have decided I would seek professional help for the addiction, and I've been in treatment for a couple of months now. The lazy/dreamy part of me is, I think, very much caused by the addiction, and therefore I hope I can actively join you all on this forum in the very near future, when I've sobered up a little. Good luck to you all.

 

[PepperFritz]

But I have decided I would seek professional help for the addiction, and I've been in treatment for a couple of months now....

Congratulations on taking such a courageous step.
I wish you all the best in your recovery.

 

[FireShadow]

But I have decided I would seek professional help for the addiction, and I've been in treatment for a couple of months now. The lazy/dreamy part of me is, I think, very much caused by the addiction, and therefore I hope I can actively join you all on this forum in the very near future, when I've sobered up a little. Good luck to you all.

Yes, Congratulations on getting treatment for your addiction. It is a huge step and will probably teach you much.

I wish you success and look forward to your return.

 

[Trobar]

How courageous of you to choose recovery and "act in favor of your destiny!"

I look forward to your future posts.

 

[Trobar]

My thanks to the moderator for correcting STS to STO in my post.
My error... hit me like a ton of bricks...

 

[Meg]

Add into the mix that I'm quite the drug addict. But I have decided I would seek professional help for the addiction, and I've been in treatment for a couple of months now. The lazy/dreamy part of me is, I think, very much caused by the addiction, and therefore I hope I can actively join you all on this forum in the very near future, when I've sobered up a little.

That is difficult to see in one's self. Congratulations on admitting it! Step by step, as the C's say.

 

[Buddy]

I haven't been posting for a couple of reasons, mostly fear of just making noise, fear of having to do work in stead of doing easier and less confronting activities... laziness I guess. Add into the mix that I'm quite the drug addict. But I have decided I would seek professional help for the addiction, and I've been in treatment for a couple of months now.

I echo trobar when she said:

How courageous of you to choose recovery and "act in favor of your destiny!"

I look forward to your future posts.

Step-by-step, The Mechanic. "It" can be whipped!

 

[Nienna]

It does take courage to realize that we have a problem and then Do something about. So I echo all in saying congratulations!

I think that the predator likes nothing more than for us to be dumbed-down, drugged-up and playing in the dirt.

So here's to seeing you joining in more often, The Mechanic!

 

[Pierre]

But I have decided I would seek professional help for the addiction, and I've been in treatment for a couple of months now.

Hi The Mechanic,

You might be interested in reading Sherry Rogers "Detoxify or die". She describes how some drug users went through her detox strategy. Particularly she emphasizes how FIR sauna can help getting rid of drugs stored in the body.

 

[RGG]

Hi Curious Georgia!-Great topic
Reasons for not posting include:

not getting to the post soon enough ( Asian time zone)and finding out that what i would have said has already been written.
not enough time because of parenting responsibilities.
not enough energy because of parenting responsibilities.
not enough brain capacity due to parenting responsibilities.

I find the above three frustrating because i have been looking for people to connect with regarding these topics for a very long time and I seemed to have joined the forum at a most inconvenient time in my life for actually accomplishing this. I actually began "the work" at the age of 8 when pondering an incident with a friend at school. I did something that required apologizing but didn't and as i walked home from school i thought about why this would be. I realized that neither of my parents ever apologize and so they never taught me. I vowed right then to always apologize when it was appropriate and not to solely rely on my parents for my upbringing. At the age of 19, I vowed to always be truthful to myself and never lie to others which developed a deep sense of integrity within me. I read Conversations With God in my early twenties and moved on to other books that i see are on the recommended reading list at this site that have expanded my sense of reality greatly. But I have not read Gourdieff yet which i find to be a problem at this forum because though i am familiar with "the work" in a practical sense, I'm missing this shared vocabulary that describes the mechanics of it all. I also am not sure that i will be able to absorb any of this material even if i did read it on account of "baby brain" (took me a month to remember my new phone number-no kidding). So this is my largest current frustration and reason that I'm hesitant to post.
Rx

 

[curious georgia]

I actually began "the work" at the age of 8 when pondering an incident with a friend at school. I did something that required apologizing but didn't and as i walked home from school i thought about why this would be. I realized that neither of my parents ever apologize and so they never taught me. I vowed right then to always apologize when it was appropriate and not to solely rely on my parents for my upbringing.

I also realized that my parents were not good role models at about the same age. I also noticed ,at that age, that most people lie a lot and stick up for thier friends even when they are wrong. I vowed to never do this and have taken a lot of abuse because of it. Thanks for sharing. I hope you continue to connect with us. Welcome!

 

[Breton]

Re: QFS pre school-- lack of energy and time and want to not add noise

Like a some of others have said, I have been mostly preoccupied by reading the vast amount of information made available by this group to get a foundation with which to be able to participate properly. Since I started with the Cassiopaean material in spring 2008, it has been a bit like drinking from a firehose. I basically became a student of QFS when I started with the material, but I have not yet taken the opportunity to "raise my hand" in the "classroom" very much. I do try to apply what I have learned when observing my relationship interactions, and also I can discuss some of this with a trusted relative.

Although I can check this forum here and there during the course of a work day, I never really get to properly focus until later, like 10 PM. This is after the obligations of being an employee, a husband and a father are kind of taken care of. Since it takes a great deal more energy to write than to read, I often feel I don't have the energy anymore at that time to try put coherent thoughts together. Sometimes, while going for a walk, or waking in the morning, I compose in my head a question or experience to share, but by the time I get time to write, the head is too foggy to write the thoughts down anymore, and I don't.

This situation feels bad to me because I consider the Work to be very important, but it seems to be only getting the status of a "hobby". Certainly that is how my wife views my studies - as a hobby, and it better not interfere with the family as far as she is concerned! On a certain level I accept this as true: my family is very important to me, and takes precedence over everything else.

However, matters related to soul development are hardly a hobby! Thus the way I use my time so it appears as a hobby might be considered a strategy of "strategic enclosure" so that my close ones think these studies are only a hobby, so they won't feel threatened and begin to step up the inevitable attacks on this newbie.

On the other hand, I could also consider the possibility that this situation is an example of the the General Law acting upon me to make the everyday demands of life become so important so that I leave very little time for the Work.

- Breton

 

[theos]

Like a lot of others, I don't post very frequently. I spent a lot of time in the beginning just lurking. And yes, reading takes up a lot of my time. By history, I am a woman of few words but I don't want to be guided by my history or "personality" so I am making a concerted effort to post more.

Self importance, internal consideration and fear of sounding like a dunce play big roles as well. I do make good use of the search function and I find that many subjects I've been pondering have been addressed quite thoroughly as well. There have been times when I've wanted to just lay my life bare on the forum but I think the motivation behind that would mostly be seeking attention. I want to be careful that the major focus of my posts is to share and network and ASK and not just go on about myself just to see what happens.

Hey, The Mechanic...congratulations on taking the reins and seeking help for your addiction. I can only agree with Belibaste's recommendation about Detoxify or Die and the FIR blanket. Health maintenance is an essential aspect of the Work, IMHO.

Cha

 

[The Mechanic]

Thank you PepperFritz, FireShadow, trobar and Megapode for your encouragements. And yes, Buddy, it seems quite possible to whip 'it', though I must say I'm looking for exactly how to do that whipping. Kinda forgot I guess, having so many attempts at whipping 'it' fail in the past. Hopefully I can regain this skill in therapy.

I think that the predator likes nothing more than for us to be dumbed-down, drugged-up and playing in the dirt.

Thank you Niena, this is very true.

Belibaste, also thanks, I just ordered Detoxify or Die and I'll look into the threads covering the FIR sauna. It's a very good idea to do this alongside treatment and therapy.

 

[obyvatel]

However, matters related to soul development are hardly a hobby! Thus the way I use my time so it appears as a hobby might be considered a strategy of "strategic enclosure" so that my close ones think these studies are only a hobby, so they won't feel threatened and begin to step up the inevitable attacks on this newbie.

On the other hand, I could also consider the possibility that this situation is an example of the the General Law acting upon me to make the everyday demands of life become so important so that I leave very little time for the Work.

- Breton

Hi Breton,
Your whole post strongly resonated with my personal experience. I have struggled with the same questions and had tried to follow pretty much the same path that you seem to be following (as far as I understand it). I never got around to posting until very recently. There is one thing I wanted to share in this regard based on my subjective personal experience. This desire to "not rock the boat too much" by working as unobtrusively as possible along with the demands of the General Law limiting the available time/energy for work seem to follow a dynamic equilibrium up to some stage. Along the way, there may come a time when the General Law suddenly increases the pressure significantly and the previous dynamic equilibrium is disturbed - this has been my personal experience. My illusion was that as long as I do not attract attention to my personal work by remaining as unobtrusive as possible (including not posting/announcing my presence on this forum - as silly as it may sound now ) I would avoid the painful lessons and make progress at the same time (clever clever me). However this illusion was rather rudely shattered. I later found this from Mouravieff which could be relevant:

Mouravieff in Gnosis Book One - Exoteric Cycle

First stage
The space to the left of the first Threshold represents exterior life, characterized by the anarchy of the three centres of the personality. Exact and precise discernment between 'A' and 'B' influences creates the embryo of the magnetic centre. Under the influence of the latter, the seeker is drawn towards the first Threshold.

Second Stage
Having reached this point, man has entered a path. He is placed face to face with Life: his own life, with its own soluble and insoluble problems. This is the first esoteric test. This test consists of a general reassessment of values. The results obtained depend upon the objectivity and courage brought to the task. One must exert a conscious effort upon oneself so as not to 'dodge the issue' or lie to oneself during this re-evaluation. One must consider and analyze those about one, face facts and attribute their intrinsic value to them without compromise or pity for oneself or others. One must naturally keep the results of this re-evaluation to oneself.
This done, one must draw certain conclusions. Is one losing interest in exterior life, which unfolds exclusively under the sway of factors of influence 'A', and to what extent? Is the centre of gravity of the personality being displaced towards the magnetic centre? Is a real emphasis being given to it?
At this time, a choice must be made.
It would be better to withdraw before crossing the first Threshold than, having cut oneself off from the region of bourgeois happiness, to wish to regain it later. The Way is a one-way street. After the Threshold there is only one option: either to progress on the Way or to fall. From now on any return to the original state will be forbidden.

FWIW