Hi, Iloveyoghurt,
I am sorry that my comments have further frustrated you. If I had felt you were clear about recognizing the physical/dietary connection to disease, I would not have chosen to invest my time and energy writing my response to you. It just wasn't clear to me through your words.
However, a couple of weeks ago I made a post that seemed to merely repeat a previous post from someone else that I somehow missed, so I am always willing to consider I might have missed something and if I did in this case, I am deeply sorry for adding to your strife. Please know my efforts are out of genuine concern for you
Aside from dietary aspects, it seems you have deep emotional issues, apparent by your emotional responses. This is not a judgment but an observation and perhaps should be an area if intense focus for you.
Unexpressed anger becomes anxiety and depression and can eventually manifest as disease. If your mind can't get your attention, your body will try.
Perhaps, when reading posts that cause such intense feelings to arise, you could chose to not respond or merely thank the authors as I mentioned earlier. This will save you from feeling you have to respond to each and every post that your perceive as negative and obstructing you, which seems to get you more upset.
Your frustration is understandable from the perspective of not having your expectations met but the extreme reaction is reminiscent of a child having a tantrum when not getting its way.
This could demonstrate a life-long patter of behaviour in response to frustration and indicate a childhood source of pain.
Tracing back to the initial childhood incident is difficult, but is a powerful way to neutralize its effect.
Sometimes merely recalling the memory is sufficient, sometimes repeated efforts are required, especially if the child experienced a continuous pattern of neglect or other manifestations of narcissistic parental behaviour.
We all have degrees of narcissism so it is rare that a child doesn't experience degrees of narcissistic wounding from their parents regardless of how "well adjusted" they might have been.
There are several other approaches that can help heal a person from early experiences and traumas. Many are outlined in the big 5 psychology books in the recommended reading list (I believe it is at http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=4718.0) and are discussed throughout the forum.
As mentioned before, the EE program is an excellent way to help release wounds and negative energy and, when combined with knowledge becomes a mighty sword and shield to help you in your battle.
No matter what you may think about yourself, your outlook, your diet, etc., things are rarely as we perceive them. In truth, we generally have a poor idea of how others perceive us and our own self image is guaranteed to be skewed by all sorts of filters, programs and usually viewed through the eyes of the false self.
This is why it is imperative to participate in a network where the feedback of many can be taken in to provide both a broader perspective and a mirror that points out the programs and false personalities.
Now, regarding you last post (If I am way off base here, I trust a moderator or more senior member will correct me):
iloveyogurt said:
I appreciate what you are saying but, your work and efforts are based on assumptions, the main one being that that I am avoiding advice on my diet. It's been amazing watching this. Just utterly amazing to watch those who you say "love me so much" (very sweet by the way), who have let their own child/ego - whatever, run away with their own agendas and assumptions without any relevance to what I was making effort to discuss in the first place.
All I can say is, lucky I wasn't so on edge that I was going to loose it big time, and perhaps do something silly (like actually turn the oven on). I mean, I would hate to have seen what would've happened to someone who was really in a state of harrowing despair ask the same line of question. If one empathised, one might get an idea of how it is for some people who are ongoingly ill and who are pushed from pillar to post by the medical system, are barely able to walk, hold food down at all, or even think. These people are in no state to consider a rethink on their diet, but are stuck in their minds and bodies playing with some big and scary questions. They are looking for answers that the medical industry cannot give them.
Your assumption that people are letting "their own child/ego - whatever, run away with their own agendas and assumptions" is ignorant at best and quite insulting.
You have continually turned everything around as if people aren't being genuine and are somehow projecting themselves and their perceptions into your thread. You are unable to step into other people's shoes here, and that speaks volumes about the obstacles you are facing - you just can't seem to get yourself out of the way of yourself.
If anything, it is your self-importance that is the issue here.
Never second guess people's intentions or doubt their love here. A great deal of energy is invested by all members to work on themselves to remove influences of their egos and false selves and, although everyone is at different levels of progress, by and large it is rare that people's emotions and ego get involved.
It is understandable that you are unfamiliar with such an environment, as this forum is unique in this regard (and several others as well). You have been programmed by the world around you to expect emotional and egoistic agendas because that is the was things work out there. But not here. Remember where you are.
Nobody here would invest their energy into providing you responses if they were not motivated out of love, be it for you, other readers or love for objective truth.
When it comes to people "on the edge", I am extremely concerned about pushing people too far. Not being a psychologist I can only rely on the visible signs and my knowledge and experience. The visible signs that come from you are mixed. At one point you seem desperate for help but then in another moment you come across as an impetuous child. You are unpredictable and possibly volatile and difficult t assess in terms of how close to the edge you might actually be.
But considering how much you have survived through, I can only assume you have developed a thickness that protects you and keeps you going. On top of that, you have a defense mechanism of using extreme emotionality that will lash out at other when you don't get your way.
But that very shell that has protected you for so long might also be what prevents you from objectively assessing inputs and fully experiencing life.
Since textual communication is a poor form of communication in that it lacks the other inputs like tone and body language, it is easy to both misinterpret and to miscommunicate, leaving all sorts of room for the reader to alter the author's meaning by imagining their tone. If you re-read my earlier post and imagine I wrote it as a worried mother, then read it imaging it came from an angry father, I guarantee the same words will take on different meanings.
I have a lot of empathy for you but I don't think you have a clue how you come across and therefore, the effect your behaviour has on others who are genuinely trying to help you, especially now that you have shown your assumption about those who let "their own child/ego - whatever, run away with their own agendas and assumptions" and your lack of respect for them.
Why should anyone bother to communicate with you?
Even though you have started a thread on this forum, you don't own it. It goes where it goes. Often a thread that is started for one reason becomes a painful assessment of the person posting it, as they have shown programs running that responsible members feel need to be pointed out.
This is usually done in diplomatic and understanding ways, but certainly not in ways that further support false personalities or the ego needs of the poster. Your ego and assumptions are more likely the reason you are frustrated, not the responses you have received.
You wanted one thing and instead you got something else. And, instead of respecting what you had received, you threw tantrums which drew further attention to the areas you would rather not discuss and therefore became a vicious cycle, furthering the drama. This makes you appear ungrateful and disrespectful.
I suggest you try to own your part of it and see where it goes from there.
Gonzo
