Recapitulation

[kenlee]

In 'The active side of Infinity' by Carlos Castenada, Don Juan gives a description of a practical method of clearing out the clutter to find negative personality traits. It seems like a worthwhile exercise to do, I just wondered whether anyone has had positive experiences from attempting this

Several years ago, I've attempted to do it: frankly, make the list of all the people you 've met in your life is already a huge work. It was impossible for me to recall all the names, faces and places. I've tried to recapitulate those I've remembered, and I've let all fall down after a couple of weeks. It asks an incredible time and I've not the impression today that it brought me more knowledge or energy. ( but it is my own experience and perception and maybe the technic is good for someone else)

I think recapitulation is one of the ways that leads to conserving and economizing energy... mentally, emotionally and physically, all of which is necessary for further continuance of recapitulation (which, I guess, appears as a paradox).

This is certainly not easy considering that we live in automatic mode most of the time, are stressed almost beyond endurance from everyday life and most people are generally ‘one center dominated’ in either the head, or in the emotions or in the instinctive/moving center. We either 'live' almost exclusively in our heads, or in our emotions, or in our body depending on what 'type' we are.

As we get older we burn ourselves out if we live only in one center at the expense of the other two throughout our lives. Then we 'die in parts,' since the centers (brains) are like coiled springs that unwind and the more we needlessly and automatically use the energy in one center at the expense of the others then the faster it unwinds until it dies. Then we have 2 centers left and now we ‘live’ exclusively in one or the other and then that unwinds (dies) and finally we live in the only one we have left until it dies.

So we 'die in parts' from not economizing energy and by not living in all three centers simultaneously to conserve energy. If we are 'one centered dominant' then we use it up quick. When one center dies then the human totality becomes useless as a transformational apparatus since all three centers (brains) are needed for the alchemical transformation of the 'three being foods' (physical food, air, impressions) that Gurdjieff speaks of which gives us any possibility of awakening.

I think recapitulation is about repairing the past by reviewing key events in our lives, first thru the lens of the head brain, then thru the lens of the emotional brain, and then thru the lens of the instinctive/moving brain. But I think this recapitulation begins with the present (and not the past) and begins with reviewing all the (interactive) events throughout the day from the point of view described above. Easier said then done, of course, but I think recapitulating the present in this way will lead to moments when key events in your life will 'come into your consciousness,' when least expected, and then you can apply the same principles in recapitulating past events as has been done in the present.

Everything is connected. For me, this is mostly theory since I find it (recapitulating) very difficult to do since I’m exhausted by the end of the day. But of what little I have done in this regard I have found that it is the beginning to repairing my past by first repairing the present in this way.

Castaneda says some very interesting things but just because he says it doesn’t make it special to me. He borrowed most of what he wrote mixed in with some real stuff but I do not see his works as 'practical teachings' to be followed. There's a lot of mystical, invented, stuff in his works that are anything but practical. Everything needs to be based on direct practical experience and direct perception of real events. If not I either disregard it or shelf it.

In my view recapitulation is simply a common sense 'technique' and reviewing the events of the day in this way is very practical and ‘ordinary,’ and, I think, it's the first step in living in all three centers within the present and aids in repairing past events by knowledge gained in the present. Nothing really mystical about it.

 

[stardust]

Rich, I think stardust was basically saying there's not enough time to use our energy in inefficient ways - which was the same as 'maximum use of time.'

Indeed. However, I 'm not saying that recapitulation is an 'inefficient way', only that it takes a lot of time, several years maybe! and perhaps there's others ways more adapted to our present situation.
One thing which seems very essential and possible for everyone is the recapitulation of the day: when you go to sleep, seeing again what we have done, say and think.

Rich, if I was defeatist, I think I was not here, I would be 'carpe diem' and I 'd sunbath all the week end, instead of translating and try to understand all what is said on Sott!

This is a bit of a 'sticky wicket'. It's my personal understanding that my parents did the very best they could do, having both grown up in very dysfunctional families - yes, it was a narcissistic upbringing, but my understanding of that imparts no blame on my family for it - it simply was the way it was, and on some level I chose to be there.

I've said that "I will not shift the blame on my "narcissistic family" for all what I am." because I've read an extract of the book on the narcissistic family which describe so exactly a part of my behaviour that it leads me to conclude that my parents - that I love so much- was perhaps narcissistics and my parents themself can belong to a narcissitic family and so on...
What I would say is that we can't reject on all the people around us because we see in ourself a part of unpleasant "darkness" .

 

[Rich]

What I would say is that we can't reject on all the people around us because we see in ourself a part of unpleasant "darkness" .

good point stardust. It didn't occur to me that i was part of the darkness. (i mean i thought the problem was others and not within myself) It is very illuminating reflecting back to see how i have been behaving. and yes, as you and Kenlee suggest, making the time at the end of the day to recapitulate would be useful, maybe in a journal.

 

[Mike]

It seems, in my case, that once the light of understanding - real understanding - shines on my own inner processes and outward behavior, there is no need for blame. Blame doesn't even enter the picture - only a 'figuring out why and how' and then fixing it.

Blame doesn't even enter the picture - only a 'figuring out why and how' and then fixing it.

Not wanting to blame might also be used as a means of repressing emotions of sadness, anger or such that can be useful to feel during consternation of a situation. So perhaps blame and 'not-blame' can be seen as similar forms of denial.

Shane, I think that blame and 'not-blame' can both be buffers or denial.

'not-blame' seems to be denial that anything was wrong and that the individual is to blame for the actions of parents or others, yet the person feels something isn't right within themselves and seeks help, such as in therapy. So yes, they may be repressing emotions at this point and need to feel them and not try to repress them in order to have a better understanding.

Blaming others seems to be a buffer to a person trying to understand what happened, seeing or remembering it and then placing the responsibility for how they act in the present onto others instead of taking responsibility for their actions, taking the reponsibility to change in the now. I think that was what Anart was getting at in terms of blame and "real understanding."

 

[Laura]

I think you go through stages in the process of healing. In the beginning, how can you NOT blame your parents or whoever it was that hurt you. You basically have to go back to being in that state and being hurt. Part of you, that is. Another part of you is angry for the sake of that innocent child. This is where the angry part has to find a way to comfort the hurt part and to help the hurt inner child to express the hurt and anger. But this needs to be done in such a way that no one is hurt! We suggest writing letters that are later burnt to release the hurt and anger, or writing in a journal that is private, or talking to close friends or a group (we do this in QFS, by the way) and getting support and encouragement from them for the child that was wounded.

This may have to be done a number of times because the discoveries about what wounded us sometimes come in layers, like peeling an onion.

At the same time, gaining knowledge of how these things happen, how it is the consequence of wounded parents (most often) helps us to understand that THEY, too, had this wounded child inside that never was accepted.

Of course, when you are dealing with a truly pathological situation where the parent is a real psychopath, it's even harder. There you have to really study psychopathy in depth and for a long time before you are able to resolve the hurt and anger. For some reason, it is one thing to be able to feel sympathy for a wounded parent who just didn't know any better, and quite another to face up to a genetic deviant who simply did not and can not care.

It is important to not neglect the steps. It's no good to just skip over resolving the grief, comforting the child you were, gaining perspective through gaining knowledge, otherwise you are just creating more buffers.

 

[allen]

Indeed. However, I 'm not saying that recapitulation is an 'inefficient way', only that it takes a lot of time, several years maybe! and perhaps there's others ways more adapted to our present situation.
One thing which seems very essential and possible for everyone is the recapitulation of the day: when you go to sleep, seeing again what we have done, say and think.

I think I know exactly what you are saying, here. If I understand you correctly, the process of untying the Gordian knot of our lives, with all the programming, pain and misunderstanding, seems like such a long ordeal that might, perhaps, be sped up.

I think recapitulation of the day's events is a critical part of the healing. That is certainly an important part of mine...even recapitulation of the previous moment after suddenly coming to my senses and realizing I'd just been acting in a completely mechanical manner. However, to borrow an over-used metaphor, you can't build a house on sand. The foundation for everything you are doing now was laid in childhood. In my opinion, if that isn't dealt with, you might seemingly go a long way toward building what looks like a magnificent edifice, but it will quickly collapse.

What I would say is that we can't reject on all the people around us because we see in ourself a part of unpleasant "darkness".

It sounds to me like you are equating facing the truth about your childhood and your parents with rejecting them. Does it seem to you that you must reject someone because they are a narcissist? If that were the case, I'd have been universally rejected by everyone who knows me. Being raised by narcissist, I display a lot of narcissistic characteristics, myself.

Interestingly, the only person who seems in danger of rejecting me for my narcissism is ME. Is there a chance this is what you are facing, or something like it? Children of narcissists commonly take the blame for everything on themselves. The opposite is not to put the blame onto someone else, but to understand that blaming anyone does no one any good. Seeing the truth, including the fact that your parents were imperfect and damaged you, is where the healing comes from. Blaming is just another buffer, a trick your mind uses to avoid seeing the truth, feeling the anger and regret at all that was lost, and really healing.

OSIT.

 

[stardust]

Does it seem to you that you must reject someone because they are a narcissist?

Far from it! First because I have not escape to narcissism, after because the others narcissist are like mirrors which help me to see the part of narcissism in me, and simply because I can appreciate someone even if he/she is a narcissist: I don't hate my cat for killing mouses even if my heart sinks for the poor mouse. Narcissism or "killing a mouse" do not define the whole being...
(I don't know if I am clear)

 

[allen]

Yes, you are being clear. I'm still puzzled about this quote though.

What I would say is that we can't reject on all the people around us because we see in ourself a part of unpleasant "darkness".

Where did the rejection part fit in? I'm certainly not saying you are wrong. I think I might be misunderstanding what you are trying to say.

 

[stardust]

Where did the rejection part fit in?

Sorry but I don't understand ( translate) "fit in". Could you ask your question in an other way?

 

[Adaryn]

What I would say is that we can't reject on all the people around us because we see in ourself a part of unpleasant "darkness".

Where did the rejection part fit in? I'm certainly not saying you are wrong. I think I might be misunderstanding what you are trying to say.

Sorry but I don't understand ( translate) "fit in". Could you ask your question in an other way?

Excuse me to intervene, but I think the misunderstanding between you comes from Stardust's improper use of the verb "reject", which she literally translated from the French "rejeter sur". In English, "reject" merely means "rejeter qqn, refuser qqch, and the like", but it doesn't have the additional meaning of the French verb "rejeter (la faute) sur", which means "put the blame on". So, I think originally, Stardust meant this :

What I would say is that we can't put the blame on all the people around us (for everything) because we see in ourself a part of unpleasant "darkness".

Does it make more sense now ?
BTW, I think what Allen meant by "fit in" was something like = "qu'est ce que le rejet vient faire la-dedans?" (osit)

 

[stardust]

Thank you Prayers For Rain for your intervention, you guess exactly what I would mean ( ça c'est quand je ne prends pas mon dico pour vérifier tous les mots!!! Dans un an ça ira mieux :) !)

I hope it will be clearer for Allen...

 

[Rich]

The "Big Four" books that must be read in this order are:

1) Trapped in The Mirror by Elan Goulomb
2) Unholy Hungers by Barbara Hort
3) The Myth of Sanity by Martha Stout
4) The Narcissistic Family by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman

These will get to me over the next few weeks in a random order. I'm keen to get reading so please can you say why you suggest the books must be read in this order.

 

[Laura]

These will get to me over the next few weeks in a random order. I'm keen to get reading so please can you say why you suggest the books must be read in this order.

It was pointed out to me yesterday that reading Myth of Sanity first might be better, and the others in the order given above. I agree.

Why for the exact order? Because each book goes into a certain aspect of the mind in a way that relates directly to esoteric work, and the esoteric work "works" when it is done in a certain order.

The Myth of Sanity will tell you some very important things about your own mind and about self-remembering, recapitulation and why it is so important and what it can do for you to fuse all your different selves. It also shows you your mental weaknesses and how to catch the clues that you are falling into the weaknesses. Once you have a good basic understanding about consistency of self, where when and how buffers are created, and how to notice them in fully modern terms, then you are ready to go to the next step.

The next step is to begin to learn about the clues of some of the specific buffers that may (most probably) exist within your being and how family and society help to create them. This process is begun in Trapped in the Mirror.

Then, you need to broaden that view to include others, to learn about behavioral clues to be on the alert for both in yourself and others in a wider context than just narcissism. Narcissism can take many forms, wear many masks both in yourself and others. This is Unholy Hungers.

The Narcissistic Family then brings it back home again. This is a painful book to read because if, by some remote chance, you were able to go through the other three books and keep thinking "oh, that doesn't apply to me," then that final illusion will be stripped away with TNF.

These four books are about stripping away lies and illusions. They teach you an enormous amount about how your mental machine works, how your centers work, though, unfortunately, the authors do not talk in terms of centers.

All of them taken together lay out for us how we get started using emotional energy for intellectual tasks and how the motor center also distorts the emotional energy and enslaves the intellect to serve its needs.

It's one thing to read Gurdjieff saying that you lie to yourself all the time, and for Don Juan to tell you that the "predator" gave us its mind, it is something else altogether to get the details in clinical language with real examples given to show the exact dynamics to even the dullest thinker!

Anybody can do this work if they have the will and desire and begin at the beginning!

Of course, once you know the details and all that, then having a network for feedback where everyone is working with these concepts and sharing their observations and progress is crucial. It is SO easy (as you will learn) to deceive yourself and think you are awakening when you have just gone back to sleep and are dreaming of being awake.

 

[Rich]

The next step is to begin to learn about the clues of some of the specific buffers that may (most probably) exist within your being and how family and society help to create them.

thank you Laura that is very helpful. I have become more aware of the negative and narcissistic traits in myself since the thread on marital conflict and this one. There are certainly periods in my life where I reflect back and groan at how self-absorbed and horrible to others I have been. I can see how valuable this work is going to be.

 

[allen]

Thank you Prayers For Rain for your intervention, you guess exactly what I would mean ( ça c'est quand je ne prends pas mon dico pour vérifier tous les mots!!! Dans un an ça ira mieux :) !)

I hope it will be clearer for Allen...

Yes, it is clearer now. Thanks! :0)

I would agree that we don't want to put the blame on others. On the other hand, we do need to understand the truth of the matter. We can see what lead us to a particular place without faulting those who took part. Maybe a better way to say it is, we need to understand clearly what our parents (and others) did and didn't do that contributed to our current mental state, but we also must realize that the RESPONSIBILITY for it is ours. Blaming someone else, if it implies trying to give them responsibility, does no good at all.

We are the only ones to do anything about who and what we are. No one else can make changes for us. On the other hand, without a realistic and accurate picture (which will include seeing the path to where we are now) we can't do anything to change.