Romantic Fiction, Reality Shaping and The Work

primeaddict

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
Perhaps it was the books, or maybe it's the accumulation of book after book, and what they generate all combined. It's hard to explain, but there was something about the human condition in general, and perhaps past life stuff being stirred. But thanks to the happy endings, I feel better after having read them all. And I particularly appreciated some of the lady and gentleman-like traits in some of the characters: lots of will power and determination to do what was right for each other, and lots of love even when most of them were quite neurotic.
So many of the storylines seem to be a different version from a different author. Lately, I am feeling a deep nagging ache about the unlikelihood of happy-ever afters. This aspect of these romantic stories is running counter to my understanding that this matrix is based on suffering. Suffering is the negative feedback loop that is necessary for us to spur us on towards our divinity. Life of happiness and pleasure would be counter productive towards self sacrificing life. That said, I do enjoy reading these stories and connect with the characters. They are delightful journeys into the mysterious 'who-am-I.'
 

iamthatis

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
I found myself thinking, "Well, that was a good day, what to do now?" And then though, "Oh, maybe I'll relax and read some more Romance novels." Another thought followed - "That's not relaxation. That is work." Probably its both, depending on the book, and what lessons are hiding in wait.

I finished Balogh's Web Trilogy recently. I noticed a persistent lump of anxiety in my throat that I just could not swallow. It began even the first few pages in - as if something in the subconscious was aware of what it was in for. What a harrowing series - and so much beauty for all of its tragedy.

Learning from the protagonists, I was confronted with the degree and extent to which I have not allowed myself to find out who I am, to explore my potential, why I am here. For a long, long time I've been a leaf in the stream, controlled by other peoples' dreams and expectations, mechanically suffering. I justified this pretty well to myself, convinced I was being of service to others, and their dreams. But this supposed service came from a place of fear of standing on my own, going beyond my comfort zone - a fear of failure, an anti-life principle. So in reading this series I came face to face with my own sleep.

These books helped me ask a deep question - "When will you be the main character in your own life? What will you do? What choices will you make this year? How will you live?"

In other words, it brought up the question of who I am - truly. Not the people-pleaser program. Me. And the tentative answers that arrived didn't stray into the abstract or metaphysical "who am I" kinda thing, which is where I have tended to float off into. Instead, I remembered reading a quote attritubted to Ark:

FORGET "I should", forget it all. Replace it by "I LOVE TO DO ...." and skip completely the TIME issue. If you need five lives to accomplish what you WANT, let this be the first of those five. And then, without any "time obligation" or "should stressing" - start it. First step first. And ENJOY it. And LOVE yourself - take care of yourself.
This is the only thing that the Universe (God?) wants from you, I think. (Arkadiusz Jadczyk)

So I asked myself what I love to do, and specifically how (or if) I can craft a livelihood out of that - to have the Aim to enjoy my life. It sounds weird, but I've never had an Aim like that. It never even occurred to me. It has generally been the "I should" voice that comes from somewhere else. I had no clue I'd been living with this kind of subtle guilt trip.

The children in these books helped me with this line of inquiry. The kids are written as symbols of joy, wonder, hope and purpose. Often with their arrival there's this incredible sense of life's meaning, sort of like the sun dawning on the protagonist's dark and sordid lives.

I've felt that in my own life, although I don't have any children of my own. Some of my best memories were from my time supervising kid's gardening camps a few years ago. I'm uncertain if I can crank the wheel and turn this life-boat in that direction with the Wave headed this way, but at the very least there is a self-awareness - and the option to truly make a choice - that didn't exist before.
 

PERLOU

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
J'ai lu hier jusqu'à 23h et terminé le dernier livre que j'avais en stock, c'est pourquoi je l'ai fait durer : L'inaccessible d'Anna Campbell.
Très bon livre, j'ai eu du mal à supporter les supplices imposés par le tuteur, surtout j'ai eu très peur quand il a voulu s'en prendre au chien... Qui d'ailleurs est récupéré, enfermé dans une écurie puis plus de nouvelle... Etrange...
Autre particularité, des pages manquantes de la 145 à 192, on saute directement à la 193, série "J'ai Lu" Editions française, par contre les pages 193 à 240 sont imprimées 2 fois... Bizarre...
Une très belle histoire avec des moments difficiles qui montrent de quoi les êtres humains sont capables... Je recommande...
J'ai reçu 3 autres livres hier et encore 3 ce matin :
Anne Gracie : Série "Les soeurs Merridew" Tome 1, 3 et 4, il faut que je cherche le Tome 2
Marie Balogh : Série "La famille Huxtable" Tome 2, 3 et 4, il me faut chercher le Tome 1

I read yesterday until 11pm and finished the last book I had in stock, so I made it last : The Unattainable of Anna Campbell.
Very good book, I had a hard time putting up with the torments imposed by the guardian, especially I was very afraid when he wanted to attack the dog... Who is moreover recovered, locked in a stable and then no more news... Strange...
Another particularity, missing pages from 145 to 192, we jump directly to 193, series "J'ai Lu" Editions française, on the other hand pages 193 to 240 are printed twice... Bizarre...
A very beautiful story with difficult moments that show what human beings are capable of... I recommend...
I received 3 other books yesterday and 3 more this morning:
Anne Gracie : Series "The Merridew Sisters" Volume 1, 3 and 4, I have to look for Volume 2...
Marie Balogh : Series "La famille Huxtable" Volume 2, 3 and 4, I have to look for Volume 1

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
 

Chu

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So many of the storylines seem to be a different version from a different author. Lately, I am feeling a deep nagging ache about the unlikelihood of happy-ever afters. This aspect of these romantic stories is running counter to my understanding that this matrix is based on suffering. Suffering is the negative feedback loop that is necessary for us to spur us on towards our divinity. Life of happiness and pleasure would be counter productive towards self sacrificing life. That said, I do enjoy reading these stories and connect with the characters. They are delightful journeys into the mysterious 'who-am-I.'

I agree with hlat. Suffering is quite a big component. And yes, it's very difficult to foresee a "happy ending", given how things are in the world, but perhaps the point is not that, but to choose the way we pay, and what suffering we need in order to grow. That is also present in the novels. From that, something beautiful can be born, even if right now it is difficult to imagine. I suggest that you read this post for more on the possible outcomes: 2020 US Election - Let The Games Begin!


These books helped me ask a deep question - "When will you be the main character in your own life? What will you do? What choices will you make this year? How will you live?"

Good questions! :thup:
 

Aeneas

Ambassador
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FOTCM Member
Very good book, I had a hard time putting up with the torments imposed by the guardian, especially I was very afraid when he wanted to attack the dog... Who is moreover recovered, locked in a stable and then no more news... Strange...
Another particularity, missing pages from 145 to 192, we jump directly to 193, series "J'ai Lu" Editions française, on the other hand pages 193 to 240 are printed twice... Bizarre...
The English title is "Untouched" and I also enjoyed it. Much tension and a truly villainous character in the form of the uncle. I also noticed the lack of news about the dog after it followed Grace home but I assumed it was well cared for. Both characters had issues about unworthiness which was explored and as is often the case in the novels as well as in real life, those things are often not communicated to the one loves. Yet, the key to free ourselves from this negative programming is to share it and to realise that our beliefs about ourselves are not to be trusted. That is what is so great about the novels as an example forward in these situations of emotional traumas is shown via soul searching and finally opening up to the beloved about it.
 

Martina

Jedi Master
This may be the most difficult and challenging post for me so far. Finally, I finished reading this thread and “Seven Night’s in a Rouge’s Bed”, which I began last August. It has taken me so long to accomplish this due to selling my house, packing, moving, and unpacking, plus I am a slower reader. However, what made this so challenging for me is the fact that I never would have dreamed of reading such a “woman’s” novel due to me not just being a man, but also being a gay man. But after reading the reactions/comments of Laura and other readers, I decided to take the risk of exploring unknown territory and began listening to the audio version of “Seven Nights”.

During the same time, I was also reading other books: “Accessing the Healing Power of the Vagus Nerve”, “The Narcissistic Family”, and Gabor Mate’s “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts”. I then started reading a book referenced by Mate, “Healing the Shame that Binds You” by John Bradshaw. All these books are helping me, intellectually, to realize how my personality was wounded and how the resulting self-defense mechanism of the false self was created.

After hearing Laura’s recommendation in the FOTCM Winter Solstice meeting to really participate in the romance novel project, I felt I had to finish reading “Seven Nights”. So, on Christmas day, I started reading and began relating more to Jonas as being a wounded child hiding behind a non-emotional personality which Sidone could see:

“Even more as she knew that the boy’s generous, affectionate spirit still lived inside him, much as he struggled against acknowledging its existence.”

I certainly identified with Jonas here:

“Shame lay at the basis of so many of Jonas’s actions. Shame made him stand alone against the world. Shame made him reject any hand of friendship. He’d interpret kindness or goodwill as a sign of condescension. However logical it was, she understood why he considered his scars relics of humiliating defeat at his cousin’s hands. Jonas’s pride had helped him survive in a hostile world but it hadn’t made life easier for him. “Even your father abandoned you.”

I also felt anger at Jonas for how he turned Sidone away from his jail cell then forced her to marry him in her weakened state.

After finishing, I too, could see and relate to the process of both characters hiding, discovering, and living from their true selves.

But this raises a question which I hesitate to ask to due my programs of shame and fear of rejection. Since the purpose of the sex scenes is to stir up the energies of the sexual center and bring them upward to help release forgotten or buried emotions, it seems to be an important part of this process.

My sexuality has always been a sensitive issue for me due to events in my early childhood imprinting period and expectations from family, society, religion, and even my career. While other readers felt a “stirring” or arousal during the sex scenes, I at first felt an aversion, but then I decided to just read through them with a kind of distancing while focusing more on the character development and psychological dynamics in the novel.

So with that background context, my question is: “In order to stir up the energies of my sexual center, would it be helpful for me to read gay romance novels?” I did some researching and there are several historical, even regency, themed gay romance novels. But like some of the traditional romance novels, I am sure some are verbal porn and not in alignment with the process we are discovering here.

However, I can also imagine that this process of uncovering the wounded false self and living from a true self would have been even more challenging in historical times such as the regency. There must have been some honest homosexual relationships but certainly not in public. Which leads to my concern about falling into false imagination/dreams that these gay novels are just re-written to please today’s post-modern standards, whereas the romance novels in our list are more reality-based.

I hope I am not tainting what is the natural and traditional idea of romance, especially historical. The idea of love is universal and higher than physicality which is the ideal we all strive for and are learning about through this project. If, as it seems, sexual energies play a part in this discovery and process, I feel like my physical machine because of its wiring due to imprinting is an extra challenge in this area. I know my sexual orientation does not make me special and I do not consider it my primary identity but like all of us, a part of our humanity in this lifetime.

Humbly and courageously requesting feedback from the network mirror.

Actually last October my friend bought me a collection of 3 books that was sold together as a package, she bought them for my birthday because I told her I'm reading a regency era romance novels. I know how she functions, she was long at work and felt a duty to buy me something for a present so she went into a bookstore and grabbed the first books she found. They were sold together but are three different books from three different authors!, one of them was second book of Jan Guillou's trilogy The great century. It's about norvegian brothers that are engineers and the youngest one Sverre fells in love with future Lord of Manningham. It's actually the beginning of 20th century, but there are still those society rules. I haven't read it because I lack first and second book and that pisses me off. :-D I hope it helpes. Also: Jan Guillou's 'The Great Century' Being Adapted as Epic Drama Series - Variety
 

Laura

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Actually last October my friend bought me a collection of 3 books that was sold together as a package, she bought them for my birthday because I told her I'm reading a regency era romance novels. I know how she functions, she was long at work and felt a duty to buy me something for a present so she went into a bookstore and grabbed the first books she found. They were sold together but are three different books from three different authors!, one of them was second book of Jan Guillou's trilogy The great century. It's about norvegian brothers that are engineers and the youngest one Sverre fells in love with future Lord of Manningham. It's actually the beginning of 20th century, but there are still those society rules. I haven't read it because I lack first and second book and that pisses me off. :-D I hope it helpes. Also: Jan Guillou's 'The Great Century' Being Adapted as Epic Drama Series - Variety

Please don't suggest or recommend books that I have not vetted.
 

Martina

Jedi Master
Sorry once again. I have a question about books I've seen in a local library, the author is Sarah MacLean and the series is called The Rules of a Scoundrels with 4 books: A Rouge by Any Other Name, One Good Earl Deserves a Lover, No Good Duke Goes Unpunished and Never Judge a Lady by Her Cover and it's about fallen Noblemen who have a gambling and boxing club The Fallen Angel.
Sarah MacLean - Book Series In Order
What do you think? I'm still waiting for the books I've ordered to arrive and they're late. I don't want to spoil the list or mislead people
 

Dirgni

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
I would say please stick to the books Laura is recommending, Martina. It is just not that any book of this kind of books will do but only these "special" books chosen with good reason by Laura. I am reading my Romance books as Kindle e-books - they arrive very fast when I am ordering them. :-)
 

Martina

Jedi Master
I usuall read books on Kindle but there are couple when you read some series that are unavailable. I'm reading now Eloisa James The Wildes of Lindow Castle series and again they don't have all. Another thing is money. I earn enough to buy books but I have so much costs because of problematic family issues that I can't purchase anything until Friday until I get paycheck. I didn't wanted to bother you with it, but my parents totally left me alone to manage uncle's funeral, grandma's birthday, whole holliday season. It was rather costy. I don't owe them anything. But there are other family members that don't deserve to be left without something they need or just something that shows them a little bit of appreciation. My uncle was actually the guy that stepped in to make our lives a bit prettier, he bought us toys that everybody had except us like Tamagotchi's, or some candy, shoes- that's something people actually need, took me and aunt to the sea, the only man that ever bought me a peace of jewlery.:-)
Maybe that's the reason my favourite character so far is aunt Knowe. She is like fairy godmother to all of the children and a wonderful matchmaker. She never got married and I don't know yet if she ever will. She's happy as she is.
My older uncle from father's side never got married, he's 63( the uncle that died was only 66). He babysitted my sisters and me and he has a lady whose husband died but they never married because she got her husband's retirement money, and my uncle was fine with that, he helped her raise her sons, never had childern of his own and I don't think he regerts it.
I always felt like an odd number. I realized I'm ok with the fact I don't have a soulmate. I can live on my own. I wish I don't have to play a charade for school teachers and family members. I know N never loved me, he wouldn't be such a bastard. He is a moron and he should have changed his career before Corona as I have told him but he never listens to me. If I was some sort of lady I could have found some sort of husband who would be a father to my son and help me with this shit and I could have a less payed but a normal job without standing hours in a cold rain and having garbage men hitting on me. Will see how it turnes out. Dramatic storyline.;-)
 

Laura

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Oops, my apologies for recommending book that's not on the list, but I've looked through it and it's not porn, if that makes things look better:halo: I haven't read your comments before I posted.

It's not just that it cannot be porn, it must present certain ideals and behaviors as desirable, the main thing being a certain essence of Service to Others.
 

Martina

Jedi Master
It's not just that it cannot be porn, it must present certain ideals and behaviors as desirable, the main thing being a certain essence of Service to Others.
I understand. I just didn't know what to do with that book, why it came in my life, I thought maybe someone else needs it. I'm not good in writing and explaining but I had good understanding of books in highschool. I get what is the point of this books ( although I have issuses not taken care of yet) and I am deeply grateful for everything you do:love::love::love:.
 

Laura

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Sorry once again. I have a question about books I've seen in a local library, the author is Sarah MacLean and the series is called The Rules of a Scoundrels with 4 books: A Rouge by Any Other Name, One Good Earl Deserves a Lover, No Good Duke Goes Unpunished and Never Judge a Lady by Her Cover and it's about fallen Noblemen who have a gambling and boxing club The Fallen Angel.
Sarah MacLean - Book Series In Order
What do you think? I'm still waiting for the books I've ordered to arrive and they're late. I don't want to spoil the list or mislead people

I rejected all of these books based on the amazon blurbs. The premises were already objectionable.
 
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