Sensitive People in an Insensitive World

[davey72]

I think Elaine Aaron is on to something and that a certain percentage of the population is born with a high sensitivity, both physical and emotional/empathic.

I have been away for a couple days (fixing my computer) and, after some introspection, I realized that i have scored true to all the questions. These are some of the "ideas" i had as a kid, and abandoned. I realize that a lot of the thoughts i had when i was a kid seem to have been true, in the grand scheme of things. These thoughts were dismissed over the years, because of what we are all taught in society to believe. I also realized that one of the reasons i came to these conclusions is bacause of paranoia. From an early age i was very frightened of being labelled "crazy" This is the biggest reason i chose to deny ,what i believe, are the greatest truths.

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this, and if i didn't express myself properly.

Sorry about the bad quote here. I'm not sure what i was thinking,or even how to fix it.

 

[davey72]

I scored 14, but I'm not as important as I used to be. ;)

What do you mean? :)

I could be wrong, but I think he is referring to the idea that a lot of the listed symptoms are also related to inner-considering and self-importance. I think that's also why several of the people in this thread have noted that they would have scored higher several years ago! :) (correct me if I'm mistaken on that, go2)

Yes, you are right anart. Some must experience anxiety doing the test. A low score is insensitive and a high score is self-centered. It is a good opportunity to observe our feeling about test taking. I notice you didn't post a score, anart. Did you even bother to take the test? :)

Ok, The issue is that as I see it, it is not the degree of sensibility that calibrates the proportion of self-importance but what you do with your perceptions trough your level of sensibility, being and knowledge.

To feel the noise,chaos, pain, anxiety, joy … of life situations, to feel overhelmed in stressor situations is not a question of self importance but a natural result of a sensitive nervous system.

Then I also think work on the self must not be directed to reduce sensibility but to enhance it, so we can highly feel and sense ourselves, others and our environment/reality that is, tuning our nervous system osit; and while we do it we can use techniques to reduce the stress factor as meditation, walks or whatever fits better our profile and saturation level.

Ok, this is also the reason that i would deny any of the questions when i first read the quiz. I think it may be a little debilitating to oneself to subscribe to the veiw that you are self centered to think this way.
Or perhaps this is wishful thinking on my part, as i always try to throw away any thoughts that lead me to believe that i am "special" in any way.
Any thoughts on this? I hope i made sense to someone.

 

[davey72]

Hi hithere,

There's a help guide for posting that might help you figure out how to quote. It is available at http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?action=help;page=post

If you want to manually use quotes, copy and paste the text you want to have quoted and then, at the beginning, add the open quote tag

[quote=name of person quoted]

and then, after the quoted text, add the close quote tag

[/quote]

.

Simplified, it would look like this:

[quote]
quoted text
[/quote]

I had to use the code tag, so that the quote tags above would not get processed as a real quote and, instead, show the code. Hoping it works, as I'm sending from a mobile device and can't see preview.

Hope that helps,
Gonzo

Thank you Gonzo. :)

 

[ana]

Ok, this is also the reason that i would deny any of the questions when i first read the quiz. I think it may be a little debilitating to oneself to subscribe to the veiw that you are self centered to think this way.
Or perhaps this is wishful thinking on my part, as i always try to throw away any thoughts that lead me to believe that i am "special" in any way.
Any thoughts on this? I hope i made sense to someone.

Yes it makes sense, I think it was when you denied any of the questions when you first read the quiz because you thought it was self centered that you were showing self importance, osit
You were anticipating the outcome (based on a erroneus reasoning)and hence you hid the truth about your real current state.

It is not about answering what you think fits better "your ideal" but about answering the truth because only from there we can work and change if needed.

With that said remember it is just a quiz :D and we do not know the level of validity in its interpretation.

 

[agni]

I've scored 12. Apparenty I am not as hyper-sensitive as I thought I was. Which is something new & surprising.

I do not do well in "multiple-choice or restricted choice" type of questions at all.
Because, I do find these questions tricky, and do not like my answers to be limited within certain bracket.

Like with sensitivity to pain. Who's pain they are talking about ? Own or others ? I handle mine well, but seeing someone in pain gives me a shock. So, what is the right answer ? Am I sensitive to pain ?

Bright lights / noises / other sensory input may disturb me upon immediate encounter sometime, even give me a sudden short migraine, but I am able to "block" it rather quickly and adapt. So, am I affected by lights ?

 

[Aiming]

Thanks for the article, WhiteBear!

I scored 25 - on the second round. The first one was 20, but I was holding off. But also, there are some things like being stressed by strong sensory input, or loud noises, or when being in the crowded, loud and smelling city that I've learned to shut off if the situation requires it, although I'm still uncomfortable about it.
Also, there were some things that really depend on the circumstance/context, as Laura has pointed out: for example, sometimes it's really nice to have a lot going on around me, up to a certain degree and very dependant on what type of people are around me.

When looking at many of my sensitivity issues I also think that this score can be decreased via Work on oneself, via exposing oneself to these uncomfortable situations and thereby learning to deal with them.

Thanks A.I. for explaining that bit about Dabrowski and the one-layered-ness of the test. It would be really interesting to take a multi-layered test along the lines of his theory.

One of the sure signs of a truly sensitive person is that he feels animosity toward his sensitive nature. Most sensitive people whole-heartedly wish they were tougher and more thick-skinned. They feel like their sensitivity is a weakness. They wish things didn’t bother them so much. They wish their emotions weren’t so obvious to other people. They wish they could let things go and not worry so much. They aren’t comfortable with their sensitivity, and wish they could do something to get rid of it (or at least get rid of the negative aspects of it). Therefore some sensitive adults have learned how to hide their sensitivity from others.

This describes me really well. I've also built that shell around me (though it's not been a really convincing shell). But in the past I could convince even myself that I was that tough. Since having started EE this shell looks as artificial to me as it is (stuffed-up emotional world coming to the surface and letting me see that there is no 'toughness').
And I've been told many times from family members or close people and even co-workers that I was over-sensitive and need to toughen up. As the typical people-pleaser, this is what I've been trying to do.

 

[Buddy]

I do not do well in "multiple-choice or restricted choice" type of questions at all.
Because, I do find these questions tricky, and do not like my answers to be limited within certain bracket.

I'm glad to hear someone else thinks this. I've always done poorly with poorly constructed multiple choice quizzes because I can generally see relationships between ALL the answers and the specific question that is involved.

I've often marveled at people who act proud about a high I.Q. score too. One of the first things on an IQ test measures your ability to take tests and it seems to me that some (not all) of the people with high scores simply have more rote-learned knowledge packets to brag about!

Sometimes I'd like to give one of those people a pen and pencil multiple choice test without specific instructions just to see what their 'default' mode is: do they automatically think the options are mutually ex-clusive, or mutually in-clusive?

In a way, it seems like it might be an interesting insight into how they think, although it won't exactly prove anything, I suppose.

 

[Nawd]

Thanks for bringing this up agni and Bud. I also have the same problem.

When I take tests like these, I can always see that at times, most of the test questions apply to me, at one point or another depending really, on how the day went.

For example, I always dislike loud noises, but can tolerate it IF I've eaten well, and had a good night's sleep.

Everything was a score a few days ago when I was not properly rested, nor did I eat well, and I had the stress running me over with work and my kids.

I tested 24 one day, but three days later, I scored much lower because I was feeling great, confident, and had a few good night's rest. Did all of the needed stuff (EE, diet, sleep).

So Yes naturally I'm very sensitive, I've always been that way. But after good food, lots of sleep and plenty of 'me time' (which is about two hours a night), I'm golden. Nothing much bothers me the next day.

Although during all times I do have to avoid violent movies. I never like those!!!

I do not do well in "multiple-choice or restricted choice" type of questions at all.
Because, I do find these questions tricky, and do not like my answers to be limited within certain bracket.

I'm glad to hear someone else thinks this. I've always done poorly with poorly constructed multiple choice quizzes because I can generally see relationships between ALL the answers and the specific question that is involved.

I've often marveled at people who act proud about a high I.Q. score too. One of the first things on an IQ test measures your ability to take tests and it seems to me that some (not all) of the people with high scores simply have more rote-learned knowledge packets to brag about!

Sometimes I'd like to give one of those people a pen and pencil multiple choice test without specific instructions just to see what their 'default' mode is: do they automatically think the options are mutually ex-clusive, or mutually in-clusive?

In a way, it seems like it might be an interesting insight into how they think, although it won't exactly prove anything, I suppose.

 

[mcb]

I scored 23, which seems to be a common score in this group, but then I have autistic spectrum issues and a lot of the questions were about sensitivity to sensory stimuli. A few were about things for which I once had very little sensitivity (art & music, "complex inner life," scents, tastes, sounds) and I am only now developing a moderate degree of sensitivity. I don't really feel as though the number 23 says very much. I will read the book.

 

[chachazoom]

it's almost like an adrenal fatigue test

 

[Gawan]

it's almost like an adrenal fatigue test

Why is that?

 

[davey72]

Somethings we just get used to and as other have said, we build up shields to protect ourselves.

In agreement with Laura's post stating

It really is a rather imprecise test, to say the least and some things on it are not bad traits at all.

The questions were good for me to look over myself and evaluate how I handle them. Thanks.

Not to put words in anyon'es mouth, but i think "Don Jaun" would say something like---it is all in how you percieve it.
perhaps?

 

[davey72]

Thanks for the article, WhiteBear!

I scored 25 - on the second round. The first one was 20, but I was holding off. But also, there are some things like being stressed by strong sensory input, or loud noises, or when being in the crowded, loud and smelling city that I've learned to shut off if the situation requires it, although I'm still uncomfortable about it.
Also, there were some things that really depend on the circumstance/context, as Laura has pointed out: for example, sometimes it's really nice to have a lot going on around me, up to a certain degree and very dependant on what type of people are around me.

When looking at many of my sensitivity issues I also think that this score can be decreased via Work on oneself, via exposing oneself to these uncomfortable situations and thereby learning to deal with them.

Thanks A.I. for explaining that bit about Dabrowski and the one-layered-ness of the test. It would be really interesting to take a multi-layered test along the lines of his theory.

One of the sure signs of a truly sensitive person is that he feels animosity toward his sensitive nature. Most sensitive people whole-heartedly wish they were tougher and more thick-skinned. They feel like their sensitivity is a weakness. They wish things didn’t bother them so much. They wish their emotions weren’t so obvious to other people. They wish they could let things go and not worry so much. They aren’t comfortable with their sensitivity, and wish they could do something to get rid of it (or at least get rid of the negative aspects of it). Therefore some sensitive adults have learned how to hide their sensitivity from others.

This describes me really well. I've also built that shell around me (though it's not been a really convincing shell). But in the past I could convince even myself that I was that tough. Since having started EE this shell looks as artificial to me as it is (stuffed-up emotional world coming to the surface and letting me see that there is no 'toughness').
And I've been told many times from family members or close people and even co-workers that I was over-sensitive and need to toughen up. As the typical people-pleaser, this is what I've been trying to do.

Wow. I had to do a second take to make sure i didn't make this post.
I have always thought i was different, and i knew when people told me that everyone felt that way, that it was more than that.
I am not sure why, but i have never been exposed to anyone else like this in my entire life.
Sometimes i would get tricked by some seemingly sympa/empathetic "friend" and spill my guts, only to be ridiculed for it.
I have also built this tough shell, but it has never been convincing to myself, or others.

 

[davey72]

I scored 23, which seems to be a common score in this group, but then I have autistic spectrum issues and a lot of the questions were about sensitivity to sensory stimuli. A few were about things for which I once had very little sensitivity (art & music, "complex inner life," scents, tastes, sounds) and I am only now developing a moderate degree of sensitivity. I don't really feel as though the number 23 says very much. I will read the book.

Hi Megan.
I am curious as to what seems to be "bringing you back", or "forcing you here"? however you want to view it?
What are your views regarding the causes of autism?
Was it a concious decision on your part to "get better"?

 

[mcb]

I am curious as to what seems to be "bringing you back", or "forcing you here"? however you want to view it?
What are your views regarding the causes of autism?
Was it a concious decision on your part to "get better"?

I would pick "bringing me back." I don't know, really. I have known all along that something wasn't quite right, and I have been actively trying to work out what it was since I was 19.

Three things that may have made a difference are age, esoteric pursuits, and diet. Supposedly some people improve as they age, and that may be all that there is to it. I became involved with an esoteric "educational organization" in my early 30's, and I was able to have a little bit of a social life within that relatively structured setting. In my mid 40's I learned about what the "Standard American Diet" does to people, from taking a vegan cooking class, and I stopped eating that way. I found a better job and my mental acuity improved very noticeably over the next few years. One of my bosses helped me get over some of the perseveration issues, probably because he couldn't stand it and he needed my technical abilities.

At 51 I learned about Asperger's syndrome from a Wired Magazine article and began to consciously address the problem. I worked on eye contact, and with connecting emotionally with other people. I had a capacity for it already, but until then I didn't know where to concentrate my effort.

Then at 52, 8 years ago next week, I discovered Cassiopaea.org and a lot of things happened at once. That seems to have been the major turning point. My sense of color came first -- starting to understand color as a language and not just as wavelengths. After a while I also started to make sense out of art and literature. After a longer time I began to make sense out of human social and sexual behavior. Today I can be socially functional in small groups, in the absence of noise and confusion.

I don't think there is any one thing we can call "autism." There may be a number of patterns with similar symptoms. I suspect that my issues stem from congenital problems with my gut, and from the resulting inflammation, but I don't really know.