Sensitive People in an Insensitive World

[obyvatel]

I got 19. I think I would have scored much lower if I took the test 5 years ago. That is because I would not have consciously allowed myself to get disturbed by a lot of these things. The more sensitive parts of the psyche had been banished to the dark corners while the upfront tough-guy types with thick skin were trying to run the show. With Work and EE, the sensitivity factor has increased and things that I would have not noticed or brushed aside earlier now make an impact.

 

[davey72]

I got 19. I think I would have scored much lower if I took the test 5 years ago. That is because I would not have consciously allowed myself to get disturbed by a lot of these things. The more sensitive parts of the psyche had been banished to the dark corners while the upfront tough-guy types with thick skin were trying to run the show. With Work and EE, the sensitivity factor has increased and things that I would have not noticed or brushed aside earlier now make an impact.

Very interesting way to look at it.

 

[Laura]

I think that a person should answer "yes" to the question even if they do not allow the stressor to affect their behavior. I did. There were a number of things that I don't really like and which can cause internal "bother" but I don't necessarily show it. One thing that I've never been able to find a way to deal with is the effect of walking into a mall or store which can make my head spin and my heart palpitate. It's especially strong in stores where the electronics are on display right at the front so I'm pretty sure it is the EM pollution.

 

[mada85]

As explained above, many writers on HSP propose a positive, accepting attitude towards [being an] HSP. However, this is not the general consensus in the professional psychological community. For instance, Jeffrey E. Young, founder of the increasingly applied Schema Therapy, although never having been critical of HSP writers or writings, links high sensitivity, or as he calls it, the "highly empathic temperament" with the Self Sacrifice Schema (Young, 2003, pp. 246–251), which in turn is almost always related to the Emotional Deprivation Schema. In his opinion, these persons (patients) need to learn to focus on themselves instead of others and to learn to get their own needs met, needs they typically are not aware of. As such, HSP can be seen not as a positive personality trait, but as a psychopathological condition that can be treated with experiential, cognitive, behavioral, and limited-reparenting strategies.
_http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highly_sensitive_people

One thing that I've never been able to find a way to deal with is the effect of walking into a mall or store which can make my head spin and my heart palpitate. It's especially strong in stores where the electronics are on display right at the front so I'm pretty sure it is the EM pollution.

I think Elaine Aaron is on to something and that a certain percentage of the population is born with a high sensitivity, both physical and emotional/empathic. The earliest memory I have of physical sensitivity is being given a pair of nylon pyjamas for the first time and being completely unable to wear them due to the static electricity they caused. If I hold an active mobile phone I feel a kind of 'dead' sensation in my hand. So Laura's sensitivity to EM pollution makes perfect sense to me. This nervous system sensitivity leads to heightened susceptibility to psychological wounding during childhood, which can easily lead to someone being labelled later in life as having a psychopathological condition, which it is to a degree. When I was younger I thought there was something really wrong with me because I couldn't do the things my friends did, which required a tough-guy thick-skinned attitude to do. But now, thirty years later, I have come to appreciate the many positive benefits of the condition, and I've learnt (and continue to learn) to cope with the internal over-arousal caused by certain situations. EE has helped enormously with that.

I agree with Schema Therapy that self sacrifice can often be linked to emotional deprivation which has affected the HS person perhaps more deeply than it would the non-HS person. This could lead to self-sacrifice which is more the product of a lack of boundaries rather than conscious self-sacrifice, simply because the emotional deprivation causes the HS person to believe that they are not worthy of being. After all, the external family environment caused them to feel unworthy of love as a child, so as an adult they do not feel worthy of having legitimate being-boundaries. However there is a kind of self-sacrifice which is conscious and is not born out of emotional wounding. That kind is very noble and should not be confused with the pathological kind. So I think that the condition of high sensitivity has pathological aspects, and healthy, positive aspects. The trick is to discern between the two and to create a safe inner space for the positive aspects to grow, a strategy to heal the fallout of the negative aspects, and to find safe, externally considerate ways to express the positive attributes.

 

[Keit]

I think that a person should answer "yes" to the question even if they do not allow the stressor to affect their behavior.

In this case it's 23 for me.

 

[HiThere]

I think that a person should answer "yes" to the question even if they do not allow the stressor to affect their behavior

With this strategy I got 25. The world is a noisy place.

 

[Laura]

I think that a person should answer "yes" to the question even if they do not allow the stressor to affect their behavior

With this strategy I got 25. The world is a noisy place.

Indeed. I answered yes to those questions even though I have mastered my sensitivity to noise and sudden sounds, etc. I can meditate on a battlefield if necessary, but it took training myself to be able to do that. If a number of things combine together, though, I find my ability to withstand a single stressor reduced. For example, if I am sick or very tired, my ability to function in such situations is greatly compromised. I also find that I need breaks from certain stressors.

 

[HiThere]

If a number of things combine together, though, I find my ability to withstand a single stressor reduced. For example, if I am sick or very tired, my ability to function in such situations is greatly compromised. I also find that I need breaks from certain stressors.

I have also found this to be true. In my younger years I was more exposed to stressors beacuse I hadn't aknowledged the fact that certain situations or workloads would "gang up on me" and combine to make me depressed, frustrated and the like. With experience I have learned to choose my stressors to a greater degree, and not interact in situations that I know I can't cope with the way I want. It's still uphill work but significantly easier than it used to be.

 

[Zadius Sky]

I've scored 22.

 

[RedFox]

I think that a person should answer "yes" to the question even if they do not allow the stressor to affect their behavior.

23 for me following this method....I use to be hyper sensitive to loud noises/sudden changes/chaos/others emotions in my environment....EE and pipe breathing have been a life safer in that respect.

 

[ana]

I scored 14, but I'm not as important as I used to be. ;)

What do you mean? :)

I could be wrong, but I think he is referring to the idea that a lot of the listed symptoms are also related to inner-considering and self-importance. I think that's also why several of the people in this thread have noted that they would have scored higher several years ago! :) (correct me if I'm mistaken on that, go2)

Yes, you are right anart. Some must experience anxiety doing the test. A low score is insensitive and a high score is self-centered. It is a good opportunity to observe our feeling about test taking. I notice you didn't post a score, anart. Did you even bother to take the test? :)

Ok, The issue is that as I see it, it is not the degree of sensibility that calibrates the proportion of self-importance but what you do with your perceptions trough your level of sensibility, being and knowledge.

To feel the noise,chaos, pain, anxiety, joy … of life situations, to feel overhelmed in stressor situations is not a question of self importance but a natural result of a sensitive nervous system.

Then I also think work on the self must not be directed to reduce sensibility but to enhance it, so we can highly feel and sense ourselves, others and our environment/reality that is, tuning our nervous system osit; and while we do it we can use techniques to reduce the stress factor as meditation, walks or whatever fits better our profile and saturation level.

 

[HiThere]

Then I also think work on the self must not be directed to reduce sensibility but to enhance it, so we can highly feel and sense ourselves, others and our environment/reality that is, tuning our nervous system osit; and while we do it we can use techniques to reduce the stress factor as meditation, walks or whatever fits better our profile and saturation level.

I agree. And since one can't control the stressors and the stressers of the world maybe the best strategy to limit their influence on one's equilibrium is to have an escape from them that works on a daily basis. In practical daily life this might be one's home. For me at least it is important that the world ends at my doorstep - I try to not invite stress with me home, and work at having as stressfree an environment as possible at home.

 

[Gonzo]

Hi hithere,

There's a help guide for posting that might help you figure out how to quote. It is available at http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?action=help;page=post

If you want to manually use quotes, copy and paste the text you want to have quoted and then, at the beginning, add the open quote tag

[quote=name of person quoted]

and then, after the quoted text, add the close quote tag

[/quote]

.

Simplified, it would look like this:

[quote]
quoted text
[/quote]

I had to use the code tag, so that the quote tags above would not get processed as a real quote and, instead, show the code. Hoping it works, as I'm sending from a mobile device and can't see preview.

Hope that helps,
Gonzo

 

[HiThere]

Thank You Gonzo! Getting the hang of it now! :D

 

[Laura]

I think it will be interesting to take the test and answer all the questions according to your OLD way of being and then the NEW way of being and compare.

So, I would have probably gotten all of them when I was a child, most of them 15 to 20 years ago, and now, though I answered yes to some things that really bother me, but which I don't react to much at all anymore due to working on the self, my answers to those things I am presently mastering at least in external behavior, would be 11. You see, I don't think that all things on that quiz should be eliminated.

Let's look at it in detail:

I am easily overwhelmed by strong sensory input.

It's not a good thing to be overwhelmed by anything because then you are not in control of yourself.

I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.

It's a GOOD thing to be aware of subtleties in the environment at all times. That is part of "The Work"

Other people's moods affect me.

Certainly, we should be aware of other people's moods and if we are, in some cases, they can affect us positively or negatively. The question is: what is the specific situation and are you allowing it to affect you in such a way that you are unable to control yourself? If somebody else's bad mood makes you snappish, that's not good; it only escalates the problem. If, on the other hand, you are aware of the other person's bad mood and it makes you more careful with that person, that is a good thing. Assuming that this is the appropriate response, which it probably is, but not always.

I tend to be very sensitive to pain.

Funnily enough, I have suffered so much physical pain over my lifetime that I learned to ignore it, to work through it. As a result, while I may FEEL it at a low level, I do not allow it to control me.

I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days,into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.

This is just good strategy for surviving in the world of pathology. However, if your need to withdraw is overwhelming and interferes with you ability to function in life, then it is disabling. But yes, you should schedule your days so that you can have down time. I do.

I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine.

Oh boy, this is a big one for me. I'm not sure it is the caffeine since I can drink tea without effects, but coffee is really, really bad for me. And I DO love it.

I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells,coarse fabrics,or sirens close by.

I do NOT like this sort of thing and there were days in the past when it would have overwhelmed me, but in general, I can block it out if I need to concentrate. Of course, if I am sick or very tired, it will bother me more.

I have a rich,complex inner life.

Oh, indeed, indeed. And I can't imagine that anyone would think that this is a bad thing. Well, except for pathological types. My ex-husband used to tell me regularly "you think too much." Well, yeah. And I finally thought enough to realize that he didn't think at all and it was time to separate!

I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.

Don't like loud noises. But I've learned to tolerate them when necessary.

I am deeply moved by the arts or music.

Indeed. I can break into tears when looking at a beautiful painting or hearing a particularly clear note being sung...

My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself.

See "darkened room" comments above. I think every thoughtful person needs some down time each day.

I am conscientious.

Yes, and I don't think that this is a trait to be sneezed at! Nothing like a little OCD to get things done!

I startle easily.

Yes. And I don't like to be startled. I do NOT like the feeling of adrenaline coursing through my body. I know some people do like it, but I'm not one of them.

I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.

Yes, but I have strategies for dealing with this. Probably the one thing that rattles me the most is doing taxes under a deadline. I can get downright cranky and tell people to "shove off, don't bother me" while I'm doing a task like that. People around me know that this is just a way of releasing the tension.

When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).

Absolutely. I tend to think of other people first in social situations, that they may need to be reassured that they are acknowledged and accepted. It really helps to overcome shyness to think of others first! Shyness is, after all, thinking about yourself to the exclusion of others and ignoring the fact that they, too, may need a warm welcome.

I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.

Yes, and I have no problem telling them so, either!

I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.

Yes, there's that conscientious/OCD thing. That's how things get done. I'm not going to apologize for it either.

I make a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows.

Pretty much. I have to deal with real-life horror enough that I don't need any extra, fantasy crap.

I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me.

I wonder what "unpleasantly aroused" is supposed to mean? Sometimes, I actually enjoy a lot of activity all around. But I can enjoy it only so long before I need to withdraw. So, in general, it depends on the situation and what is going on and who is doing it and my mood in general.

Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me,disrupting my concentration or mood.

No. But I know people whose moods are affected by hunger - generally people who eat a lot of carbs and have insulin problems.

Changes in my life shake me up.

Yes and no. Some changes do and some don't. It depends on the change and the state I am in. A person who is upset by ANY change, obviously has an issue and should practice doing things spontaneously though that is a bit of a contradiction in terms.

I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.

Yup. I see no reason to change that.

I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.

See the "unpleasantly aroused" thing above. Sometimes, a lot of activity going on can be stimulating, other times it can be tiring and stressful. Depends on many variables.

I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations.

Yes. When you are extremely sensitive this almost goes without saying. However, the operative term is "overwhelming." There's no way to avoid being upset in this life, you just need to try to avoid allowing it to overwhelm you.

I am bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises or chaotic scenes.

This has already been covered above.

When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.

Yes. But this is one of those things that can be fairly easily mastered.

When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.

Yup. I was described as "temperamental."

It really is a rather imprecise test, to say the least and some things on it are not bad traits at all.