Thank you Galahad and Breton for your comments. I did try to get hold of the EE breathing exercises DVD from the Red Pill Press but unfortunately they are not selling the product. My issue is that I have been able to purchase all of Laura's books from this source by paying for them by cheques (not credit card). This has been possible as the bookstore is located in Alberta where I reside. Maybe eventually they will carry the product, but for the time being I have to wait until that happens. This meditation program sounds fantastic, I have been looking for something like that for a while now. I did try meditating to a few CD's created by Inner Alchemy by Mary Rodwell, but it seems that the after effect is usually short lived. The reason for the need for meditation exercises that really work is that I do feel that I have some deep down major past life issues that I need to say good buy to, but have not been successful by doing so as of yet. I have been going through the same unpleasant experiences with difficult people over and over again and I have come to a realization that there is no more need for me to go through such experience as I truly do not learn anything from them. There is nothing pleasurable about being bullied by a sick narcissist in a management position (the ones I have met in my life have all been in the management position except one whom I met in my private life who turned up to be a true psychopath but that is another story too depressing to get into) who has the power to degrade me to nothingness. I am tired and I do need a major change or there is absolutely no point for me being in this 3D existence. I am not suicidal, I am just saying that I cannot think of one reason why I came to exist when I go though the same bad experiences and I come out of them facing the same situation. If I learned something from this would not I be experiencing something more enlightening? It is really frustrating.
I will go into more detail shortly why I think that this past baggage is probably the cause of my repeated struggles with difficult people. I have believed for a while that a past life experience could be putting a strain on my present life (there is a possibility I could be wrong though), and that was one major reason why I have undergone through a holotropic breathwork workshop recently believing that this would help me face my past life demons and finally help me get rid of them. Laura was so right when I asked her for her opinion on Holotropic Breathwork. The experience only put me thorough a traumatic experience during the session without a long term positive effect. So, when I heard of this new breathing meditation exercises that Laura and her team were working on, I thought to myself maybe this will be the key that will help me open the door to other more pleasant experiences in my life.
Breton, I am not sure about your experience with very difficult people, but I must say that the experience always makes me feel totally hopeless and drained to a point that I lose control of my life. I wish I could explain the feelings better on paper, but I could compare it to maybe being emotionally raped. A feeling that makes one having absolutely no control over the situation, it is like being suspended in motion, only being able to watch the ordeal without making any sense of what one experiences, even though the one who is watching is the one who is experience the whole ordeal. My problem, Breton, is that when someone does not treat me with respect I somehow find the energy to do something about it. I find this a problem because I think that it would be better to just walk away from the situation than to keep on facing it thereafter. Believe me I always have the urge to walk away but something pulls me in to continue battling the unfairness. Maybe it is my stupidity.
Besides the job that I have just lost a week ago, at my previous jobs I was also discriminated against, sexually harassed and bullied numerous times. One of the employers who discriminated against me, terminated my employment on the basis that I did not inform him of my disability at the time of the interview. I am deaf in my left ear, but my right ear is perfectly fine. I actually do not identify myself as a disabled individual. I, of course, found that kind of treatment of a human being unfair so I made a complaint to a Human Rights Commission. My case made it to a hearing almost 3 years later and I won. Then a few years later I found myself in another uncomfortable situation where I was sexually harassed at a workplace. Once again I made a complaint to the Human Rights Commission, but this time my case was settled out of court, and I once again won. And just this past employment I was bullied by an uncontrollable maniac who did not care who was being present at the time he inflicted his verbal abuse at me. The strange thing is that he did not hide his abuse at all as most psychopaths do, that is the reason I think that he was not a true psychopath, in fact his abuse was known by everyone working for the company. People avoided him because of his bad temper reputation. Because he was a good friend of the owner it was much easier to get rid of me, as I was looked at as the one who was causing too much tension by complaining about his management skills. To tell you the truth I could make a complaint to the Human R. Commission once again if I wanted to, as I have enough evidence against him. In fact, I did tape this individual while he was abusing me with his foul language and this tape could be used in court, but I am just so sick of doing that over and over again, and all I want is for this cycle to just stop. I want to have a peaceful life for once, where I am surrounded by nice compassionate people, where I don’t have to be afraid to wake up the next morning to go to work, where I can start laughing again about the silliest things. . Is that too much to ask?
I understand there are a lot of abusive individuals out there, and everyone of us has had a share of a few of those throughout our lives, but truly I have had enough. Is it possible that a past life experience can make someone’s present life a hell? Or am I just imagining something that is not possible? Has anyone’s life improved after doing the meditation exercises that Laura has developed? There has to be something that one can do to stop repetitive situations from occurring in one’s life.
Your opinions will be very much appreciated. Thank you. I hope I did not bore you with my life story.