Session 2 May 2015

[Atomas]

I have no idea at all why I am feeling so depressed. It started a year ago and is progressing. First of all I feel disconnected from the rest of society. I need to have a strong connection with other people because otherwise I have no strength to do anything. And it is difficult these days to have any connection with other people since people are so withdrawn and do not want to have anything to do with others, particularly in Poland.

I've been feeling depressed also. I'm tired. I have this feeling, that something has changed, don't know how to explain, as if something in life dried up. I used to write to my friends everyday but now there's not motive or stimulus to do it, like everything is said.

I don't know, maybe I need to rest and meditate.

Leonel and MariuszJ,

I understand what you say and how you feel. Most of us do I think. It's natural and part of our lessons. God has many faces.
One of the most effective remedies for me in such cases is coming back here or opening Laura's books and reading, reading, reading...

 

[riclapaz]

I have no idea at all why I am feeling so depressed. It started a year ago and is progressing. First of all I feel disconnected from the rest of society. I need to have a strong connection with other people because otherwise I have no strength to do anything. And it is difficult these days to have any connection with other people since people are so withdrawn and do not want to have anything to do with others, particularly in Poland.

I've been feeling depressed also. I'm tired. I have this feeling, that something has changed, don't know how to explain, as if something in life dried up. I used to write to my friends everyday but now there's not motive or stimulus to do it, like everything is said.

I don't know, maybe I need to rest and meditate.

Hello, if you have not yet had the opportunity to read this thread, I think it gives us some clues to understand and find some answers to these periods of depression.

Depression As A Stepping Stone (to Soul Growth)
https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,2832.0.html

 

[André De Carvalho]

The big question here to me is "Why WalMart?"

I think it has been alluded to in the session as being strategically accessible to large residential agglomerations. I nother words, easy access to the population in both ways. Also, it offers a good camouflage because if they were to build a new building it would attract more attention. Walmart's are part of the everyday landscape and in a few weeks everybody in the neighbourhood would have completely forgotten about the actual strange happenings. The PTB know that people has a short memory and they manipulate the media to divert public focus when they need to. In case of some crisis or another, people will not think about the bizarre closing of Walmart's a year ago. They will probably use other facilities that offer the same strategic advantage as the Walmart's according to what they are planning.

I agree, and I would expect that any re-fitting of the place will be done under cover of the "plumbing work". No military vehicles or anything or that sort, all "civilian contractors" and all work being done inside the buildings out of sight. As far as any curious observers are concerned, Walmart will indeed be conducting this "plumbing work" as they said they would.

My opinion may be paranoid, but it would be a perfect opportunity for the PTB to set up False Flag operations in whatever incarnation the stores would become.
It will bear keeping a close eye on.

I don't think they simply chose the Walmart, I think walmart was built with that thought already in mind.

Q: (Perceval) So, can we assume that the US military has requisitioned these 5 stores as command centers?

A: Close.

They said 'close', maybe because the military didn't requisitioned it at all, it was already under their control all along.

Wallmart is like monsanto, or Nestlé, but in the distribution and logistic business, there's wallmarts all over the globe, it is a giant octopus in the supermarket show. I don't think it is a coincidence that those markets are so well located, I think they were put there deliberately.

I have no idea at all why I am feeling so depressed. It started a year ago and is progressing. First of all I feel disconnected from the rest of society. I need to have a strong connection with other people because otherwise I have no strength to do anything. And it is difficult these days to have any connection with other people since people are so withdrawn and do not want to have anything to do with others, particularly in Poland.

I've been feeling depressed also. I'm tired. I have this feeling, that something has changed, don't know how to explain, as if something in life dried up. I used to write to my friends everyday but now there's not motive or stimulus to do it, like everything is said.

I don't know, maybe I need to rest and meditate.

Same here, 2014 was a destroyer for me, made me feel like there's nothing worthy in this world, but I guess it is what happens when some illusions gets crushed.
If I knew then what I know now, I would have made very different choices, but than, if I had not made those mistakes, how would I know they were actually mistakes? I guess depression is a stepping stone after all.
I haven't gotten out of it yet, although I feel a bit better, I lack faith in humanity like never before, I sometimes have emotional moments when I feel like crying for no especific reason, concentration is going out the window, some dreams were shattered to the point where I lack faith even in myself nowadays.
But it happens...c'est la vie. We live, we suffer, and we learn and we grow. Sometimes we know things in theory, but we need the experience to demonstrate it directly to us. Flowers grow better in maneur, and I thought I knew that already, but clearly I didn't.

Sometimes we 'know' things, but we don't, and we end up having to feel it in our flesh what we already 'knew', but actually didn't. It's like learning an equation, than doing a math test, and ending up getting the equation wrong, even though you had studied it. It shows us that we should probably review our studying methods.

Does that make any sense? I hope it does...

We need to feel things in order to understand them to a full extent, if not, knowledge is incomplete. If we could go on living in this world without depression or suffering, it would be an ilusion. Afterall, what kind of human being sees all this mess around, and still feels nothing? I would doubt this person's soul if that was the case.

We should probably rest, and calm down, and just face the truth: we live in a horrible planet.

But change will follow, and help is on the way, hopefully soon... :P

From the C's: "It taxes the soul greatly to be embodied"

Best regards

 

[André De Carvalho]

Sorry for the double post!

Really, I'm not a double poster, but I just found this video out, like in this very moment, and it correlates so much with what I was trying to say in my last post that I am shocked by the coincidence, and I just have to post it here.

Seriously, it's partly what I was trying to say, and very inspirational.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=455&v=MFzDaBzBlL0

Sorry again, I hope you enjoy it.

 

[Konstantin]

I have no idea at all why I am feeling so depressed. It started a year ago and is progressing. First of all I feel disconnected from the rest of society. I need to have a strong connection with other people because otherwise I have no strength to do anything. And it is difficult these days to have any connection with other people since people are so withdrawn and do not want to have anything to do with others, particularly in Poland.

I've been feeling depressed also. I'm tired. I have this feeling, that something has changed, don't know how to explain, as if something in life dried up. I used to write to my friends everyday but now there's not motive or stimulus to do it, like everything is said.

I don't know, maybe I need to rest and meditate.

Hello, if you have not yet had the opportunity to read this thread, I think it gives us some clues to understand and find some answers to these periods of depression.

Depression As A Stepping Stone (to Soul Growth)
https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,2832.0.html

I`m on the same place as you. I feel the same . It usually comes in waves. This one starts 2-3 weeks ago and it still lasts , although i feel its loosing the strength.
I try to fight it by forcing myself to do. I dont have will to do EE, to post here, sometimes to do anything, but i`m forcing myself to do that. Sometimes its very hard. That thread Depression As A Stepping Stone (to Soul Growth) is an excellent source of informations. Just dont give up. Force yourself to do the work. There is no way back.

 

[Laura]

Well, I'm in the club too. I've completely lost faith in humanity as a whole, but I continue to work for those who seem to be something more than just ordinary, machine-like humans. That's what keeps me going: the fact that I KNOW there are SOME who feel the same as I do, who see what I see, and who think that it would be a shame for it all to end without some true spirits holding fast to the end.

I've already posted my inspirational song "The Impossible Dream" somewhere else on the forum, but there is another inspirational poem that Andromeda likes particularly that can help in dark times:

Invictus
By William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

 

[Yas]

Well, I'm in the club too. I've completely lost faith in humanity as a whole, but I continue to work for those who seem to be something more than just ordinary, machine-like humans. That's what keeps me going: the fact that I KNOW there are SOME who feel the same as I do, who see what I see, and who think that it would be a shame for it all to end without some true spirits holding fast to the end.

I've already posted my inspirational song "The Impossible Dream" somewhere else on the forum, but there is another inspirational poem that Andromeda likes particularly that can help in dark times:

Invictus
By William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

Thank you Laura (and Andromeda), that poem is really inspirational, and your words and work too!

I think that Depression as a Stepping Stone gives an important view of what we can do with these feelings. It has been a crucial thread for me when I was so depressed that I wanted to shut my self in my room and drawn myself in that whole.

I suppose that we can let ourselves go down, almost like in a massive self-pity episode, OR we can use that suffering as a the needed strength to grow and become better, and help others.

If you consider what Dabrowski says in his theory of Positive Disintegration, for example, it is clear that feeling unrest with one self (and the world to some extent), is actually necessary for our development. Therefore, we can even be glad that we can feel this IF we use it as stepping stone to learn, to move, to work even harder each day in order to accomplish our aim. It is almost as if one can't grow if one is feeling OK with oneself and the world, something that Dabrowski describes when he writes about psychopaths.

It reminds me of an old Buddhist story which I liked very much at the moment I heard it (I'm not a Buddhist, I just liked the story): The short story is that a house is on fire, some people are coming out of it and desperately trying to alert the people who are still inside about the danger, yet, many people don't feel the fire, so they stay inside thinking that those who are saying "there's a fire! get out!" are a bit crazy, or maybe they think the fire isn't going to get them yet, so they can stay a bit longer. So, supposedly, what Buddha said was something like "one must feel the fire in order to have the will to get out of the burning house"

The thing is that, another tendency is to avoid feeling, to avoid looking at it because we can be so afraid of feeling pain, and that's also detrimental to our growth. Feeling depressed, hopeless, even angry at the world and at oneself is normal in the process of our Work (and anybody who's can see a at least a bit of what's going on in the world and inside oneself), falling down with it isn't good I think, as it isn't good to avoid feeling it, so some sort of balance must be achieved where one is allowed to feel but not fall, by using the feelings as motivation to keep on the Work, even if it is just one little step towards the aim.

Fwiw...

 

[SeekinTruth]

Well, it's quite easy to lose faith in humanity - because of our own times and experiences, as well as all of recorded human history. That's just the way mechanical humanity is and has been - very easy to manipulate. There is, besides using the emotions to grow and do what we can, some relief from going crazy in this world when others also see the truth of what's happening. Also, it helps to just be so curious as to what's going to happen next, that the infuriating and depressing part is offset a bit just by the exciting period we live in - seems ANYTHING can happen at any moment.

 

[Ðekel]

Well, I'm in the club too. I've completely lost faith in humanity as a whole, but I continue to work for those who seem to be something more than just ordinary, machine-like humans. That's what keeps me going: the fact that I KNOW there are SOME who feel the same as I do, who see what I see, and who think that it would be a shame for it all to end without some true spirits holding fast to the end.

I've already posted my inspirational song "The Impossible Dream" somewhere else on the forum, but there is another inspirational poem that Andromeda likes particularly that can help in dark times:

Invictus
By William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

Thank you Laura (and Andromeda), that poem is really inspirational, and your words and work too!

I think that Depression as a Stepping Stone gives an important view of what we can do with these feelings. It has been a crucial thread for me when I was so depressed that I wanted to shut my self in my room and drawn myself in that whole.

I suppose that we can let ourselves go down, almost like in a massive self-pity episode, OR we can use that suffering as a the needed strength to grow and become better, and help others.

If you consider what Dabrowski says in his theory of Positive Disintegration, for example, it is clear that feeling unrest with one self (and the world to some extent), is actually necessary for our development. Therefore, we can even be glad that we can feel this IF we use it as stepping stone to learn, to move, to work even harder each day in order to accomplish our aim. It is almost as if one can't grow if one is feeling OK with oneself and the world, something that Dabrowski describes when he writes about psychopaths.

It reminds me of an old Buddhist story which I liked very much at the moment I heard it (I'm not a Buddhist, I just liked the story): The short story is that a house is on fire, some people are coming out of it and desperately trying to alert the people who are still inside about the danger, yet, many people don't feel the fire, so they stay inside thinking that those who are saying "there's a fire! get out!" are a bit crazy, or maybe they think the fire isn't going to get them yet, so they can stay a bit longer. So, supposedly, what Buddha said was something like "one must feel the fire in order to have the will to get out of the burning house"

The thing is that, another tendency is to avoid feeling, to avoid looking at it because we can be so afraid of feeling pain, and that's also detrimental to our growth. Feeling depressed, hopeless, even angry at the world and at oneself is normal in the process of our Work (and anybody who's can see a at least a bit of what's going on in the world and inside oneself), falling down with it isn't good I think, as it isn't good to avoid feeling it, so some sort of balance must be achieved where one is allowed to feel but not fall, by using the feelings as motivation to keep on the Work, even if it is just one little step towards the aim.

Fwiw...

Thank you for posting that Laura, it is very beautiful and empowering !


Yas,

Agreed on the tendency to avoid feeling being detrimental.
We have feelings, why try to shut them out when they can be acknowledged and utilized for growth.. ?

I think that the mere fact that we have these feelings about the world, that we feel a loss of faith in humanity or depressed about the way things are, is itself an indicator of awareness.
Instead of being sad because the store didn't have the outfit we wanted in the right size, we're having complex emotions about the state of an entire planet and its inhabitants !

Perhaps if we continue to help when asked while giving each its due as best that each of us can, we will be using the energy we have in a positive manner.
If it's possible to use depression for instance, in order to understand the feelings of others and be ready to help them if they ask, even in the midst of going through the same thing ourselves, what could be better ? It is helping out of experience and not just theory.

The "trick" is most probably to accomplish what you wrote: "so some sort of balance must be achieved where one is allowed to feel but not fall, by using the feelings as motivation to keep on the Work, even if it is just one little step towards the aim". For each person this would probably be accomplished in a slightly different manner, according to personal makeup and disposition, whether it's EE, prayer of the soul, listening to calming music, writing, reading, art, crying or whatever helps in the moment.

And as SeekinTruth just stated, in the midst of all this, we'd be hard put to say that what's going on isn't interesting even as it depresses !

 

[sitting]

Well, I'm in the club too. I've completely lost faith in humanity as a whole, but I continue to work for those who seem to be something more than just ordinary, machine-like humans. That's what keeps me going:

Dear Laura,

I for one, am counting on it.

Allow me to add another poem (a part, from Shelley)--which expresses so well the sentiments I hold dear.

Rise like Lions after slumber
In unvanquishable number-
Shake your chains to earth like dew
Which in sleep had fallen on you
Ye are many-they are few.


PS
Although sometimes I do question the proper placement of many and few.

 

[Richs]

Well, it's quite easy to lose faith in humanity - because of our own times and experiences, as well as all of recorded human history. That's just the way mechanical humanity is and has been - very easy to manipulate. There is, besides using the emotions to grow and do what we can, some relief from going crazy in this world when others also see the truth of what's happening. Also, it helps to just be so curious as to what's going to happen next, that the infuriating and depressing part is offset a bit just by the exciting period we live in - seems ANYTHING can happen at any moment.

Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel. I have been having serious health problems for the last few years, and every time I wake up in the morning it is a great feeling to think "Wow, I'm still here!". And then, to get myself going, get dressed, have breakfast, etc. and then get on the computer to here on the Forum and SOTT to see what is going on with the rest of the world.

For some time now (borrowing the word and the meaning from Spock in Star Trek) I find what is happening "Fascinating!", and I can hardly wait to see what is to come next. I think that is, at least, one of the reasons so many of us wanted to be here at this time.

While I have this fascination watching things unfold as they are doing, I also have lots of sadness and empathy for all those who are suffering in so many ways. It really hurts me to see this, but I understand it just has to be this way.

 

[cubbex]

Well, I'm in the club too. I've completely lost faith in humanity as a whole, but I continue to work for those who seem to be something more than just ordinary, machine-like humans. That's what keeps me going:

Dear Laura,

I for one, am counting on it.

Allow me to add another poem (a part, from Shelley)--which expresses so well the sentiments I hold dear.

Rise like Lions after slumber
In unvanquishable number-
Shake your chains to earth like dew
Which in sleep had fallen on you
Ye are many-they are few.


PS
Although sometimes I do question the proper placement of many and few.

Funny quote. I remember this dream I had few months ago. I was on a boat traveling from island to island, the problem was not only the storm, but the black seas moving as one singular black mass. When I got to the second island, I saw guys wearing some police suits and they were pulling chained lions into the black mass. These lions were not fighting too much, these men had machines and chains attached to the lions to be eaten by this monster.

 

[riclapaz]

Well, I'm in the club too. I've completely lost faith in humanity as a whole, but I continue to work for those who seem to be something more than just ordinary, machine-like humans. That's what keeps me going: the fact that I KNOW there are SOME who feel the same as I do, who see what I see, and who think that it would be a shame for it all to end without some true spirits holding fast to the end.

I've already posted my inspirational song "The Impossible Dream" somewhere else on the forum, but there is another inspirational poem that Andromeda likes particularly that can help in dark times:

Invictus
By William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

It is a wonderful poem, thanks for sharing. :)

 

[Mr.Cyan]

I try to fight it by forcing myself to do. I dont have will to do EE, to post here, sometimes to do anything, but i`m forcing myself to do that. Sometimes its very hard. That thread Depression As A Stepping Stone (to Soul Growth) is an excellent source of informations. Just dont give up. Force yourself to do the work. There is no way back.

Yeah, thats how i feel too Konstantin. Its not been great watching world events - there are days i can feel quite down, and hope for humanity does seems far away, this is then combined with mixed feelings of nervousness/excitement/trepidation when thinking about whats down the line....but i always try and drag myself to continue the work, there is indeed no way back....as Laura mentioned, i think holding fast and staying until the very end must count for something.

Thanks Laura & Andromeda for the inspiring poem.

 

[Jacques]

Thanks Laura.

I've already posted my inspirational song "The Impossible Dream" somewhere else on the forum, but there is another inspirational poem that Andromeda likes particularly that can help in dark times:

Here it is:

Yup, been there, thought that... and more. And ranted, or felt depressed, and so on. And, at the end, I just realized: this is the way things are, it's really sad that nobody is contributing to the good/positive/creative side of things, so what am I gonna DO?

I decided: It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it and I don't see anybody else stepping up to the plate, and I started writing and sharing.

At that time, I didn't even know the full extent of the "Terror of the Situation" either! I also didn't have a network to help me so I guess it's a good thing I didn't get the whole banana at once!

When I was a kid, I always like the song "The Impossible Dream" from "The Man of La Mancha". It still inspires me:


To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star