I just wanted to add my support to the mix.
As far back as I can remember, I always felt different, as if I somehow knew there was more to this word than meets the eye.
I was extremely sensitive to the pain this world can inflict and often felt I could feel other people's pain.
I never fit into any group, often straddling several but never feeling part of any. Although alone in a crowd, I developed a desperate need to be accepted.
Since joining this forum and reading laura's books, some of the books on the recommended reading list as well as the articles posted on both the Cass and SotT websites, I have come to the realization that much of what I originally thought was my personality was actually character attributes that formed as a result of family and societal programming and the wounds received in early life.
But even after considering these attributes, I am still left with a deep sense of being a stranger in this life with a hint that I have some hidden knowledge that I only need to discover. I cannot explain it all away as programming and response to injury and am therefore confused as to where my expanded awareness, sense of being different, my "odd" way of thinking and perceiving, etc., came from.
One thing I have had to constantly fight against is a sense of being special, which is certainly a hook used by many nefarious types, even though I generally have a low self esteem. Although I might find it interesting to imagine myself as being a wanderer, I know I might be susceptible to seeing myself as somehow special.
I don't know what difference that knowledge would make, in terms of personal/spiritual growth or how one aligns with either STS or STO, but if it affords one greater ability in protecting oneself against the slings and arrows, that, on it's own might make it worthwhile.
I have drawn great comfort in seeing so many of the aspects that make me different from society, reflected in others on this forum. I hope you have the same, if not better experience as we share the quest for knowledge together.