Why did the chicken cross the road?

Psychopath: Because I wanted him to


Narcissist: For my own amusement.....those feathers would make a nice pillow, I think I will pluck some- it won't mind


Borderline: Answer depends mood at the moment- either because the chicken loves me/is all good or the chicken hates me/is all bad


Schizoidal: Because there were not proper experts in charge to prevent it


Darwinist: It was evolution - seeking the other side due to natural selection


Creationist: It had faith and was divinely inspired
 
Truth:

Crossed the road because of all the Lies, Damned Lies.

Lies:

Ran across the road to get away from all the light.

Objective Reality:

Crossed the road because there was nothing subjective about it.

Subjective Reality:

Crossed the road because it was seen as a short cut.

The Authoritarian:

Crossed the road to see who would follow.
 
George Carlin:

Ever notice how these days everyone is sooo obsessed about the chicken? "Has it crossed the road?", "Did it come before the egg?", "Don't ruffle feathers!", "Don't count your chickens before they hatch!", "Gotta make a nest egg". We've really flew the coup on this one folks. Yolk it up cause all this bird-brain chicken feed is making this egg hard-boiled. But we don't mind a little egg on our face, do we. Nooo. We just sit back and listen to these chicken-hawks spread their -John Thomas- and bull stories. The pecking order has been established, and you know who's on top? A baaad egg. Yup. The rule of the roost is serving chicken salad made from chicken poop. I'm no spring chicken, but I have learned a couple of things over the years. And I'll let you in on a little secret I've picked up along the way. All this squawking, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Hatch your own idea. Stick your neck out and rule your own roost. That would be something to crow about.
 
Shane said:
George Carlin:

Ever notice how these days everyone is sooo obsessed about the chicken? "Has it crossed the road?", "Did it come before the egg?", "Don't ruffle feathers!", "Don't count your chickens before they hatch!", "Gotta make a nest egg". We've really flew the coup on this one folks. Yolk it up cause all this bird-brain chicken feed is making this egg hard-boiled. But we don't mind a little egg on our face, do we. Nooo. We just sit back and listen to these chicken-hawks spread their -John Thomas- and bull stories. The pecking order has been established, and you know who's one top? A baaad egg. Yup. The rule of the roost is serving chicken salad made from chicken poop. I'm no spring chicken, but I have learned a couple of things over the years. And I'll let you in on a little secret I've picked up along the way. All this squawking, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Hatch your own idea. Stick your neck out and rule your own roost. That would be something to crow about.
:lol: Brilliant! I don't think he would've gotten through that one without cursing though! :D
 
Gimpy follows the chicken across the road...standing back to observe the chicken as it pecks in the grass...

GIMPY: "So...are the bugs better over here, or what?"

CHICKEN: cluck cluck bok bok bok...(returns to pecking)

GIMPY: "Really! I'll have to ask Hubby, I don't like sushi..."

HUBBY, YELLING OUT THE FRONT DOOR: " Honey! Ed called! Quit chasing his chicken and come home!"

:umm: :nuts: :whistle: :oops:

:flowers:
 
Sandra Brown: It was going to help other "chickens who love psychopaths" on the other side of the road.

Richard Dolan: He was covering up government investigations into the UFO phenomenon.

John Keele: By only considering why the chicken crossed the road, we miss the fact that we are owned by the chickens. And they don't have our best interests at heart.

Gary Taubes: It's all been a big fat lie. The chicken did not cross the road. All studies claiming this are flawed.

Lierre Keith: It had ruined its soil through it use of agriculture and was looking for better land on the other side of the road.

Timothy Freke & Peter Gandy (authors of "The Chicken Mysteries: was the original chicken a pagan god?": What if there were absolutely no evidence for the existence of an historical chicken in the first place?

Bob Altemeyer: The chicken was an authoritarian follower, and someone with perceived authority told him to cross to the other side.
 
RedFox said:
(A few by) STEPHEN HAWKING: Einstein was wrong when he said "Chickens do not cross the road". Consideration of black holes suggests, not only that Chickens do cross the road, but that Chickens sometimes confuses us by crossing them where they can't be seen.

I have noticed even people who claim the chicken crossing the road is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.

To show this diagram of a chicken crossing the road properly, I would really need a four dimensional screen. However, because of government cuts, we could manage to provide only a two dimensional screen.

SCHRODINGER: Within the experiment, the chickens quantum state is undetermined and exists on both sides of the street simultaneously. Only after direct observation does the chicken appear to cross the road, or not.

ZEN: If a chicken is walking next to a road, and no one is around to see it. Does it still cross the road?

HOMER SIMPSON: Mmmmm, chicken.
 
:lol: Mmmmmm, chicken. :lol:

Humor / wit mixed with deep thoughts... at the end of the day, still leads to... thoughts of food... :P
 
Funny, funny :rotfl:... great thread to resurrect...missed it in 08.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

an opossum: to show me that it could be done.
 
Some fictional characters -

Rooster Cogburn - It was in search of True Grit.

James T Kirk - To boldly go where no hen has been before.

The Prisnor - I will not be plucked, frozen, unfrozen, roasted, battered, fried and packaged. I am not a supper. I am a free fowl.
 
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