Advice please re "critical" posting

[dant]

I read a great article on sott.net today (anybody ever read sott?) that I'd like to include in this thread:

Moving Out of Emotional Captivity: Are You the Driver or the Driven?

Therese J. Borchard
Psych Central
Sat, 12 Sep 2009

In his book Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds, Victor M. Parachin tells a Japanese tale about how powerful our emotions can be, and how we must manage them, not vice versa. He writes:

A Japanese samurai warrior visited a Zen master, seeking answers to questions that had plagued him for some time.

"What is it you want to know?" asked the Zen master.

"Tell me, sir, do heaven and hell exist?"

"Ha!" laughed the Zen master in a contemptuous tone. "What makes you think you could understand such things? You are only an educated, brutish soldier. Don't waste my time with your ridiculous questions."

The samurai warrior froze in shock. No one spoke to a samurai that way. It meant instant death. Increasing the tension, the Zen master went on, "Are you too stupid to understand what I just said? Stop wasting my time and get out of here!" he shouted.

The samurai exploded with rage. As quick as lightening, his hand grabbed the sword, sweeping it over his head to get ready for the kill. In the split second before the sword descended to cut off the Zen master's head, the samurai heard him say, "This is the gate to hell."

Again, the samurai froze in astonishment. He got the message. It was his own rage that brought hell to him. The Zen master - as is customary among the greatest of Zen teachers - risked his life to make that fact inescapably clear. Pausing and then breathing deeply, the samurai replaced his sword. He bowed humbly, filled with respect and even awe.

"And this," smiled the Zen master, "is the gate to heaven."

This old story is all about moving out of emotional captivity. Many people are not the drivers of their emotions. They are driven by them; they are emotionally out of control. This is a significant personality weakness and a great danger. Uncontrolled anger and rage are major impediments to enlightenment.

Buddhism compares untamed emotions to a forest fire that roars through a person, consuming all that is good, noble, and virtuous. In Christianity, anger is cited as one of the seven "deadly" sins.

The Zen master is quite correct: an uncontrolled emotion is the gate to hell. The taming and directing of emotion is the gate to heaven.

Absolutely beautiful description of anger and rage = emotional traps!

And I might add: 'Anxiety', that mysterious force that causes one
to become discombobulated and perhaps can lead to the same?

 

[Mike]

I'm glad that you're moving to protect yourself here. I think a lot of people who were brought up to 'give', eventually come to a point where that is no longer sustainable. My wife and I are complementary opposites in many ways, one being that I'm coming from being 70/30 selfish/selfless and she's 30/70. The demands of raising children over the past few years are forcing her to recognise her limitations in giving and demand more of me, and me to recognise her need (and those of the children) and start giving more. (...)

My tranquillity is a defence mechanism that is somewhat positive in that I don't often 'react' at least in an overt way (which in this context could get me banned), but negative in that people often 'want' an emotional reaction from me that they don't receive. Some people push until they get one. But the emotions are still there, Ana, even if they're temporarily as inaccessible to myself as they are to others.

I'm glad you said to Nomad that you are going to try the breathing program, because even though you mention emotions in your posts the feel to them are all intellect and cold. IMHO you need to get the emotions flowing and exposed with the breathing program.

 

[TheSpoon]

Spoon, you don't have to "submit" to this group. As long as you practice external considering you are welcome to be here on your own terms.

Thanks Laura (and happy anniversary!), I appreciating you taking the time to respond, especially when I've caused upset. I take on board (anew) the need for External Consideration. I found this section from the glossary particularly interesting and possibly relevant in this case:

Saying my intention is to "sow seeds of doubt" would be to suggest I was fully conscious of what I was doing, which is of course (given my posting history) highly unlikely.

And this smells like manipulation...
There is no need to be fully conscious to sow seeds of doubt, nor to inflict harm on others without feeling remorse.
A great example are psychopaths.

I have to say I was dismayed to hear you say that because I really tried to 'dig deep' with my posting to get to truth of what was going on with my reluctance to 'get with the program'. It would have been more helpful if you'd said what effect you thought my manipulation was intended to cause. Was it as per the quote above (to cause others to reflect back my self image), or did you think I had another aim in mind?

I completely agree that there's no need to be fully conscious in order to manipulate or inflict harm on others with or without feeling remorse (indeed, the subconscious will be more effective at it), and I recognise that I caused harm with what I wrote and that it likely contained manipulative elements. But you said that my words were "intended" to sow seeds of doubt, that is not the case. My intention was to explore my resistance to this group.

_http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intention

Based on what you have written, particularly the bolded parts, it strikes me that you are having a fundamental struggle between the way that you wish things were and the way that they actually are -- in other words, a classic struggle between subjectivity and objectivity. The impression that I get is that you are going through a process similar to that which happens when you have been on a junk-food diet and decided to try a healthy diet instead.

I appreciated your reply shijing, I think you're quite right about my struggle, although I'm not quite at the point where I can see clearly how things actually are, so I'm still holding on to the hope that they might be how I wish them to be! Your junk food analogy is very helpful.

you have alluded to the fact that there are other forums of learning you participate in which are much more 'feel-good'

Other areas of my life like family, work, reiki, swimming, so not really formal "forums of learning", but what you've written very much applies since 'all there is, is lessons'. So yes, I get told that I'm "fundamentally fine", minimum work, little submission, low ego challenge. At least, what work/submission/ego work there is is all on my own terms. Junk food as you say.

There are areas of my life which I 'like' that I can clearly see as Junk food. There are other areas (especially Reiki, talking things over with my wife and - for example - a call the other night from an old university friend) that feel deep down food-for-the-soul Good. My spiritual compass (discernment) is based on that soul-food feeling/resonance. I get the same thing from reading the transcripts and The Wave, but other parts of this site (especially forum interactions) just leave me feeling a bit low. If it is healthy food as you say, then I have yet to get a taste for it.

Dunno dude, you seem to be mashing up your words here. Whats the difference between picking bits that you 'like' and picking bit that 'you're not ready for'. It seems as if you generated that logic to fit the situation. "Oh I can't accept that just yet because I'm not ready." Its the same thing imho.

Well, assuming you mean "don't like" instead of "like" ( or "like" and "are ready for"), there are things that I can take onboard (ie that 'ring true', resonate etc) even though I very much don't like them and don't 'want' them to be true. For example a couple of months ago I found myself arguing against a 'revisionist' who said that there weren't 6 million Jews killed in the holocaust. I did the research, considered how the government uses propaganda and suddenly I 'saw it' and it felt like the ground just opened up in front of me, I felt quite sick. But that only happened because of what had led up to that. A year previously I could have looked at the same data (or perhaps wouldn't have had the motivation to try) and not had it ring true. I was not 'ready' to accept it until that point. That's the difference.

the way you word it, it's almost as if you expect us to start dishing out orders, that's not really how its done here.

Yes, I see it's not the way it's done here, although you do well to remind me. The submission I'm resisting is not about taking orders, it's admitting that you (the forum) know more than I do (which is laughable, because obviously 1000+ people are going to know more than I do!), that you see more clearly than I do, that your way is 'better' than my way. That things 'are' the way you say they are. Resist resist resist.

Two biggies that most of us have taken up is the detox diet and the breathing program - have you given those a go?

Something that many people get encouraged to do on this forum is to read the entire thread before responding. My failure to 'get with the program' is the issue I introduced. So no, I have yet to take up either.

Anyone can be 'fine' if they decide that they're 'fine' and they need no Work on themselves.

Sure, but if anyone is going to make progress here, then the starting point is 'Not Fine', isn't it? So if I'm going to Work here, that's what I need to accept.

It doesn't seem to bother you in the least how Laura was personally affected by your words. I mean, reading her bit threw me into a loop yesterday and I didn't have the clarity of mind to respond.

Actually it did throw me into a loop - to the extent that my wife asked me what was going on and we had a long discussion about what this site was and why I interact with it. It's just that I put my emotional state to one side when I'm posting (consciously anyway, I'm sure it's leaking out all over the shop subconsciously). Which obviously has mixed success (ref Ana's comments) and maybe the breathing program will let me display my emotional state in a more constructive way. I also feel "under fire" in this thread, so that makes me batten down the hatches further - emotions are for safe environments only (program!). Generally (historically in my family) emotional displays are bad, m'kay?

The Spoon: it really doesn't take much research on your part to see that Vincent Bridges is a psychopathic individual. He is a liar, a con artist and an all-round really nasty piece of work! Once you come to that realisation, you shouldn't need any more convincing that Laura was wronged, and has continued to be wronged, in a most despicable, evil manner.

That VB is a nasty lying con-artist appears to be public knowledge even on the man's own forum. So no, I don't need any convincing that he has wronged Laura and continues to do so.

That said, an accusation was made which seems to be the main-stay of most of Laura's detractors and I started doing the research (as others have done) to determine the truth. It's not logical to assume that the accusations of a psychopath automatically make the accused innocent. However unlike Dant I was unable to find the information required and sought it (or a link to it) from the original source. But that's to explain what I thought I was doing - investigating trust issues - and doesn't address what was emotionally going on ie me kicking back against perceived rejection. Perhaps I'm making you (all) wrong so that I can be right...?

I'm glad you said to Nomad that you are going to try the breathing program, because even though you mention emotions in your posts the feel to them are all intellect and cold. IMHO you need to get the emotions flowing and exposed with the breathing program.

Thanks for the positive response Bear. Funny how it feels positive even thought you're calling me cold, perhaps because you glad about something I've said. Yes, I can see that I'm coming over as intellectual and cold. Intellect was valued above all in my family and "emotional intelligence" was an unknown virtue. It was only when I was doing some work on myself in my early 20s that I really learnt to feel emotions in my body, and I still have a tendency to block them out when I need to be reasonable (program!). I have experimented with 'not being reasonable' which means I'm not perceived as being cold, but like our Samurai isn't very controlled. I think emotional cleansing will be most helpful to me.

 

[dant]

Since you seemed to have difficulty finding the relevant link
in balancing against the VB/GLP & ilk charges, it is here:

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=3595.0

 

[TheSpoon]

Thanks for that Dant.

It still doesn't show up when searching for 'raffle' and Laura's username.

Regards,
Spoon

 

[dant]

Read everything in the provided link as it is a
'starting point', which leads to other links provided
therein. Try not to depend on "short cuts" as it may
not uncover what you are seeking. Part of the 'fun'
is DOing the [hard] work in order to discover what lies
therein. :)

 

[ana]

Saying my intention is to "sow seeds of doubt" would be to suggest I was fully conscious of what I was doing, which is of course (given my posting history) highly unlikely.

And this smells like manipulation...
There is no need to be fully conscious to sow seeds of doubt, nor to inflict harm on others without feeling remorse.
A great example are psychopaths.

I have to say I was dismayed to hear you say that because I really tried to 'dig deep' with my posting to get to truth of what was going on with my reluctance to 'get with the program'. It would have been more helpful if you'd said what effect you thought my manipulation was intended to cause. Was it as per the quote above (to cause others to reflect back my self image), or did you think I had another aim in mind?

Is Looking for truth above taking into account others?
I don’t know what on your mind is, I just see your behaviour towards Laura wich I think was totally lacking external considering.

I completely agree that there's no need to be fully conscious in order to manipulate or inflict harm on others with or without feeling remorse (indeed, the subconscious will be more effective at it), and I recognise that I caused harm with what I wrote and that it likely contained manipulative elements. But you said that my words were "intended" to sow seeds of doubt, that is not the case. My intention was to explore my resistance to this group.

_http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intention

The phrase goes "You always hurt the ones you love." it does not say "You always intend to hurt the ones you love".

I see a nonsense in this phrase.

A: The problem is not the term "love," the problem is the interpretation of the term. Those on third density have a tendency to confuse the issue horribly. After
all, they confuse many things as love. When the actual definition of love as you know it is not correct either. It is not necessarily a feeling that one has that can
also be interpreted as an emotion, but rather, as we have told you before, the essence of light which is knowledge is love, and this has been corrupted when it is
said that love leads to illumination. Love is Light is Knowledge. Love makes no sense when common definitions are used as they are in your environment. To
love you must know. And to know is to have light. And to have light is to love. And to have knowledge is to love.

What was your intention in comparing my behaviour to that of a psychopath?

My intention was not to compare you with a psychopath but to point out the invalidity of your statement.

 

[TheSpoon]

Ok Ana, I hear you.

 

[anart]

Ok Ana, I hear you.

Hi Spoon - what does this mean?

 

[Avi]

hi Anart,

Pleasure meeting you and yes you will (all) hear more from me as I look forward to learning together. :)

There is a "story" behind my silence this past year (having found the forum around June of 08) and though the ENTIRE story does not make good reading and do not wish to bore you all with the drama/details, SOME of the story IS relevant to this forum.

I will share more on this soon.

Sincerely,

Avi

SOMETIMES when dealing with EGO you can NOT fight ego with niceties!

To me it seems about BALANCE. Knowing when to use the HAMMER and when to use the feather.

One technique I find helpful in this is FIRST bringing it back to myself, in other words, the mirror principle. If someone is providing what appears to be a reflection of arrogance (note I say APPEARS to be, in that this is what has drawn my attention) then where in myself am I behaving arrogantly? By working with this arrogance in myself it may be that I then THANK the other person with gratitude for showing me what I could not see on my own. THEN, if I have addressed the arrogance in myself, am I able to confront this type of behaviour for I think that by and large none of us can ALLOW arrogance to "reign supreme" in either ourselves OR others for it is in fact quite destructive and harmful to ALL concerned.

[...]

For if the work were EASY then EVERYONE would be "doing" it so somehow it seems, to me anyways, that challenges are necessary in order to not only "test our mettle" as it were, but also to gain an ever-increasing insight into perception.

My thoughts anyways.

In other words, LOOK at what your post has prompted! You didn't die nor did you get banned! Lots of replies and interaction! Is this (networking) not the purpose of this forum?! And even IF someone disagrees with you, so what? Is THAT the "end of the world?" Or is it a chance to then LEARN something, either that perhaps you were mistaken on something, which then presents, ironically, the opportunity to learn, or perhaps how to gain confidence in yourself if you were NOT mistaken?

Learning to relate is challenging too. Add to this the component of the tricky perceptions, the emotional baggage, the clear signs of this world going to hell in a hand-basket and it appears grim at the best of times!

Yet no one here can relate or learn for me, not even with the purest intent in the world.

I have a responsibility to learn. Relating on this forum is part of that responsibility.

That is how I see it anyways.

Well, Avi, I must say that you've put this really well. So, hopefully, we can look forward to more posts from you! :D

 

[Avi]

"Over the gate of self preservation and into the fray!"

Glad to hear it Slowone, now keep the momentum going!

One thing I have learned is that it is so EASY to "get it in gear" and then suddenly, unconsciously even, "shift into neutral" and then STALL. Complacency IS part of the programming we are aiming to overcome after all!

I have seen this in myself AND others before. Take one step forward and two steps back. Sometimes it is 5 steps forward and 8 steps back. Argggh!

Not going anywhere but backwards in that case!

Maybe it is NOT the case with you? In which case, excellente! Yet if that potential is there, REMAIN VIGILANT and as I said, KEEP the MOMENTUM going!

Cheers,

Avi

Dear Slowone:

I can certainly relate to that! The "I don't necessarily agree" part anyways.

As far as confrontation, well, I am perhaps more confrontational. ;)

Yet what is there to gain, or learn, if everyone is "the same"? I mean, yes, at some level of consciousness PERHAPS we are all "the same" but in terms of life, experience, etc, do we not each have a unique contribution to make?

And so if you withhold your contribution, are you really serving yourself OR others?

"a scared cow that you just can't overcome and then be banned! "

A SCARED cow?! LOL. But then I believe you MEANT to say a SACRED cow?

Hee, Hee :D , You made me laugh about this. I think both apply to me exactly, I should have used both!

I have these fears too! AND sacred moo-moos! And it may happen, (being banned) I don't know, but it is not my INTENT for this to happen! I think some latitude has to be allowed for the process of learning, for it IS a process, and not all of us are at the same "point" of development in TERMS of that process. Nor should we be!

One thing however which stands out, for me as much as for you, is at what point do you begin to TRUST life and to trust your knowledge and that if your heart really is truly in the right place and if YOU DO THE WORK required, then the worse that can happen is you lose your ILLUSIONS about life! But strange paradox, not so? For is it not these very illusions we wish to be FREE from in the first place?

I think you are spot on. It is such an unquantifiable process, how to know if you are doing "The Work, or just dreaming you are doing "The work"? How to trust that you will know?

Learning can be a frightening affair because the mind always seems to think it will somehow be annihilated. Or that we will "lose" our so-called identities, but then if we are identifying with the mind in the first place, rather than using it as a tool as it is meant to be, then what is the real fear we are talking about? Is fear in some way not also an illusion? And that is not to say there are not things to fear? For there are! But in a healthy way in the sense of "I fear if I do not LEARN then I am a goner!"

Not to fear this forum which as far as I understand is designed to HELP not only you but ALL who really wish to PARTAKE.

In other words, LOOK at what your post has prompted! You didn't die nor did you get banned! Lots of replies and interaction! Is this (networking) not the purpose of this forum?! And even IF someone disagrees with you, so what? Is THAT the "end of the world?" Or is it a chance to then LEARN something, either that perhaps you were mistaken on something, which then presents, ironically, the opportunity to learn, or perhaps how to gain confidence in yourself if you were NOT mistaken?

Thank you for posting, Slowone.

Thank you, you and everyone else here have made me realise that it is the Predators mind in me, cowering in the corner of my being that stopped me from braving a few toe in the water critical posts. It was the predator that wished me to not move foward, not trust, not risk. You are right when you say so what ? for me I had to see the problem laid out in front of me here to be able to step back enough to see that it's the only way forward. More involvement, more risk, more exposure if you like.
Over the gate of self preservation and into the fray!

I also agree that sometimes you do need the hammer not the feather, if the gain were not so valuable, the price to pay would not be so high either.

:)

Sincerely,

Avi


PS - I was going to tease you about your name but don't mean to come off "too familiar" since I myself have been quite quiet.

Fwiw I have wanted to change my forum name in the last couple of weeks. I kind of lumbered myself with it now. But even that was a kind of submissive programme in me if you like. Submissive in as much as I saw so much here on the forum that I couldn't keep up with that I thought I'd lay my cards down immediately and announce upfront that I wouldn't be leading the way in any capacity! :(

PPS - I think that the real fear to fear is the fear! It is constrictive, yes?

PPPS - One of the best remedies for fear however IS laughter!

I would appreciate some help from fellow Forum members with a concern I have had for sometime about posting on the forum.

I would like to give some background. I hope I am articulate enough to explain clearly. Sometimes on the forum as happens I am sure to most people I see a posting or thread where I don't necessarily agree with what someone has said.

It most often is not factual threads regarding researchable data, but emotional threads,or situation threads. Most often it won't be the original posting but perhaps the tone or the way someone has offered advice that I think is harsh or maybe missing the point. They may not necessarily be so but that's how it appears to me.

Now here's my point, I don't post what I want to say instinctively if it happens to be negative. This leaves me denying the other poster what may have been (at least sometimes) another angle they may not have considered and which they have every right to challenge if they disagree, or to discuss further. But also is preventing me from airing on the Forum my "negative" side which I would benefit I am sure immensely from bringing out of the cloudy world of instinct and into the light of a more critical thinking process. I.e having to say why I felt as I did about the posting or considering which emotions I was having triggered by the post that I may be unaware of.

I have been brought up as many people have to basically "play nice". My parents were very strict, we were smacked and shouted at, but that just seemed to be the norm, but its left me afraid of confrontation. I am especially afraid of confrontation here on the forum. I imagine in my head how painful it must be to join the forum and then reach a scared cow that you just can't overcome and then be banned! To come so far and then have such a blindspot that you can't continue worries me. But never overcoming this inability on the Forum worries me more because I believe it is leaving me vulnerable to gaps in my awareness of the processes in myself as a machine.

What happened to Pepperfritz as Queenvee and also obviously her tragic death has given me the push to post this. So thank you PF, your good work carries on.

I would really appreciate some feedback or advice.

[/quote]

 

[TheSpoon]

Ok Ana, I hear you.

Hi Spoon - what does this mean?

I wanted to acknowlege what Ana had written without belaboring the discussion any further.

What she has written is quite correct in itself. I feel like she dismissed what I wrote and I can see that she has valid reasons for doing so. I don't see anything to be gained by continuing.

 

[SeekinTruth]

I wrote this post offline several days ago in Quick Reply after reading this thread, but had problems with my internet access the last few days so I was unable to post it. I'm posting it now because I want to express to Laura that I understand what she has been going through with all the lies spread about her.




The Spoon, I think that for you to bring up this issue after all this time with so much written about it, it is probably a grudge program that you need to deal with sincerely; because if you really wanted to know what it was all about don't you think you would have done it by now?

What I learned this past year is that there is a very human limit to my endurance. Even if my mind thinks it can take anything and everything, my body says "no."

Laura, please know how much I appreciate the indescribable toll all of this has had on you, the indescribable sacrifices you, as well as your whole family and the core QFG, have made to try to wake up enough of us to have a chance of pulling humanity back from the precipice, the truly inspiring generosity with which you have shared your energy and efforts.

I have a little bit of experience of this type of vile slander campaign, both from pretty close family and so called "friends". The family aspect, I was born into. When I was born, the war was already on. But over the last decade or a little more, I actively stopped their manipulations and parasitic behavior with a clear message basically to get lost, their game of using my immediate family was over. And in a couple of cases, the same thing has happened with so called "friends." When I clearly told them that I would not associate with them AT ALL anymore, both the family members and "friends" just went crazy that they cannot manipulate, use, and feed anymore and started some really laughable slander campaigns.

The big difference is, in your case the internet is being used to defame you, which is much worse. In my case, it is a limited group of people that is in the reach of the circle of defamation. And the surprising thing was that many people close to these people turned around and basically told them that they are a bunch of liars and told the truth, both in the family situation and the "friends" situations. In a couple of the "friends" cases they completely discredited themselves, their lies were exposed to those they were spreading it to, and the whole thing backfired on them without me doing much to counteract their actions. Again with my case it's not nearly as bad, because the people in these circles, I have no contact with anymore anyway, and those who had any integrity at all, although they were close to those who were actively slandering, just came out and told them as it really was and called them liars.

So Laura, please know that there are quite a number of people who have not only benefited greatly from all you've done, but have the greatest respect, appreciation, admiration, and sympathy for you.

 

[anart]

I wanted to acknowlege what Ana had written without belaboring the discussion any further.

What she has written is quite correct in itself. I feel like she dismissed what I wrote and I can see that she has valid reasons for doing so. I don't see anything to be gained by continuing.

Apologies, but you say she is correct, then say she dismissed what you wrote? That's rather contradictory. As far as 'nothing to be gained by continuing', does that mean that since you cannot prove yourself right in this instance that you're prefer to just 'drop it'?

I mean no offense by that at all. It just appears from your posts in this thread that you have not reached a personal bankruptcy, on any level, and because of this you hold your own thoughts and perceptions above others. While this is a normal state of being for a person, it proves to be a block to the Work and esoteric development. It also tends to accompany an experience of appreciating and 'feeling good' about input from others that bolsters one's own current self-perception (what you've called 'feel good' input from old friends, families, other sites) - and resenting any input that does not reflect the image you have of yourself, that does not make you 'feel good'. Perhaps that resentment was at the base of your comments to Laura in this thread.

In short, The Spoon, it seems that you are basically unhappy with this forum because it does not reflect an image of yourself that makes you 'feel good' - an image that you believe in because you've not undergone a personal bankruptcy, as referred to by Gurdjieff. While such a state of affairs is not uncommon, it is unfortunate because of all the reasons that have been brought up to you in this thread. Your reply to Ana seems to indicate that you think there is nothing to gain by continuing. Hopefully that's not the case, though without a reassessment of your own condition, it might be unavoidable. As always, this is just for what it's worth and I could be mistaken.

 

[mada85]

Ok Ana, I hear you.

This is an expression often used by men to dismiss women’s feeling-perception of them.

In context, it looks to me like a dismissal of the mirror offered to you by Ana. Which impression is further supported by your answer to this question:

Hi Spoon - what does this mean?

where you wrote:

I wanted to acknowlege what Ana had written without belaboring the discussion any further.

Again, it seems to me that you ‘acknowledged’ what Ana had written, by dismissing it.

What she has written is quite correct in itself. I feel like she dismissed what I wrote and I can see that she has valid reasons for doing so. I don't see anything to be gained by continuing.

It is unfortunate that you do not want to continue, as continuing your interaction and learning process is very helpful to others as well as yourself. I am left wondering if what you wrote is just your predator’s mind trying to avoid being seen, both by you and the forum.

Spoon, it can be very difficult to acknowledge our negative programs to ourselves, let alone expose our inner darkness and negative programs on this forum. Some things in ourselves can be almost impossible to see without help, and this can be very painful. The people here are very perceptive (especially anart, actually!) and you have and will receive some very accurate mirroring. However the results to be gained from interacting this way far outweigh the difficulties.