All the woman should have kids ?
- Thread starter jaela
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SolarMother
Dagobah Resident
Mrs Tigersoap
Mrs Tigersoap, in my experience the bond you speak of is very strong and sacred when the child is young. I feel that same bond with my grand daughter who is 5 now, and I felt it with my own daughter when she was little. Later, when the children get older and assert themselves away from their parents its a challenge to keep the bond sacred, and maybe this is impossible without knowledge... this is when the narcissistic wounding starts to show up. But you have that knowledge, so it may be different with you and your daughter, and what a wonderful thing that could be!
Because I didn't have that knowledge, it seems that bond is illusory unless the child's path is to choose to also do the Work. If the child (at whatever age) chooses the STO path, then the bond becomes real, based on both parent and child working for an extended time on healing the narcissistic wounds passed down for generations. Your daughter is very fortunate IMO having chosen to incarnate with parents who are doing the Work to wake up. That says a lot! And that you are vigilant about her and your parenting is a wonderful thing to witness.
The only example I can see so far in the parent and child healed bonding is Laura and the children that chose in their young adult years, to come with her.
Mrs Tigersoap, in my experience the bond you speak of is very strong and sacred when the child is young. I feel that same bond with my grand daughter who is 5 now, and I felt it with my own daughter when she was little. Later, when the children get older and assert themselves away from their parents its a challenge to keep the bond sacred, and maybe this is impossible without knowledge... this is when the narcissistic wounding starts to show up. But you have that knowledge, so it may be different with you and your daughter, and what a wonderful thing that could be!
Because I didn't have that knowledge, it seems that bond is illusory unless the child's path is to choose to also do the Work. If the child (at whatever age) chooses the STO path, then the bond becomes real, based on both parent and child working for an extended time on healing the narcissistic wounds passed down for generations. Your daughter is very fortunate IMO having chosen to incarnate with parents who are doing the Work to wake up. That says a lot! And that you are vigilant about her and your parenting is a wonderful thing to witness.
The only example I can see so far in the parent and child healed bonding is Laura and the children that chose in their young adult years, to come with her.
obyvatel
The Living Force
agni said:
Is the above answer acceptable to you ? Does it sound true to you?
Somebody once said it is much easier to "love God" than it is to "love thy neighbour" - after all God does not play loud music at ungodly hours. Not saying it is a similar case here but it does seem that your answer could do with some contemplation if you choose to engage in it. You mentioned the "oak tree" as a joke, but it sounded as a more probable "real" answer to me - but I could be mistaken.
SolarMother
Dagobah Resident
I realized that I butted in to the conversation with Agni and Mrs Tigersoap re the story about my daughter...sorry about that.
agni
Dagobah Resident
Hi All !
Why I mention bond with a Universe in a serious manner ? Really good question. You are spot on Obyvatel, thank you for bringing it up. I do not know what has compelled me to answer in such way. I did not know how to answer Mrs.Tigersoap question properly because I am unsure about bond thing. It is pretty weird that I have chosen to answer this way, rather then stating obvious truth directly - I AM NOT SURE. I apologize for such disrespect Mrs.Tigersoap.
Why I mention tree as a joke, it's hard for me tell if there is a true bond with a tree. They are hard to read. I certainly had certain emotion, I see something common between me and a tree. I enjoyed to watch it grow from acorn, I took care of it. But I am pretty sure it would do just fine without my involvement. Can I say that tree had shared same common feeling/understanding with me ? In reality I do not know, partially because I am a blind person. Without knowing much about inner life of a tree, I would think a presumed bond with it is wishful thinking on my part, rather then actual bond itself. In my understanding bond is a two way street. But I can be wrong. Can there be one way bond ?
Subject of bond is a tough subject. What does constitute a bond ? To me this is unifying mutual feeling, emotion, thought, action, interest between entities through which this special mutual connection happening, non feeding type.
There are people I am close with. Is it truly a bond or is it some tricky behind covert inner predator bite to engage in some sort of feeding that appears as a bond ? To tell you the truth, I do not know yet.
I agree. I perceive neighbors as part of the Universe. And I do not seek easy roads. Tougher the road the better, whether I like it or not who cares. It's experience.
Thank you.
obyvatel said:
Why I mention bond with a Universe in a serious manner ? Really good question. You are spot on Obyvatel, thank you for bringing it up. I do not know what has compelled me to answer in such way. I did not know how to answer Mrs.Tigersoap question properly because I am unsure about bond thing. It is pretty weird that I have chosen to answer this way, rather then stating obvious truth directly - I AM NOT SURE. I apologize for such disrespect Mrs.Tigersoap.
Why I mention tree as a joke, it's hard for me tell if there is a true bond with a tree. They are hard to read. I certainly had certain emotion, I see something common between me and a tree. I enjoyed to watch it grow from acorn, I took care of it. But I am pretty sure it would do just fine without my involvement. Can I say that tree had shared same common feeling/understanding with me ? In reality I do not know, partially because I am a blind person. Without knowing much about inner life of a tree, I would think a presumed bond with it is wishful thinking on my part, rather then actual bond itself. In my understanding bond is a two way street. But I can be wrong. Can there be one way bond ?
Subject of bond is a tough subject. What does constitute a bond ? To me this is unifying mutual feeling, emotion, thought, action, interest between entities through which this special mutual connection happening, non feeding type.
There are people I am close with. Is it truly a bond or is it some tricky behind covert inner predator bite to engage in some sort of feeding that appears as a bond ? To tell you the truth, I do not know yet.
obyvatel said:
I agree. I perceive neighbors as part of the Universe. And I do not seek easy roads. Tougher the road the better, whether I like it or not who cares. It's experience.
Thank you.
Mrs.Tigersoap
The Living Force
Agni said:
No problem, Agni! :)
SolarMother said:
This thread is open to anyone.
The story with your daughter (and granddaughter) was interesting. So thank you for sharing!
Bim
Jedi
I'm 35, single and with no kids by choice, and i just cant explain to u why. Yes, i've had tons of pressure by many people to marry and have kids, but i just dont think it's in the cards for me for some reason and it gets annoying when people tell me how to live my life when i dont do the same to them.
I dont think all women (and men) should have kids. I've seen plenty of parents who dont act as such and raise little savages who are ill mannered and generally unpleasant kids to be around
, or who just dont care for them as they should, and that's just sad. I do think people who really want to be parents out of love should go for it 110%, but if for some reason u feel that isnt for u, it's best not to do it. If ur going to do it u must do it right and give the child the love and attention they deserve. The world is full of possibilities, and having kids is just one of them.
I do wish people would be more respectful of one's choices though, cause i dont go around asking my married friends with kids why the hell they made that choice, and i dont see what entitles them to butt into my decisions.
I have friends who are married because they cannot be alone, but i dont make them feel bad about it. If someone asks me for advice i give it, but in the end we're all responsible for the choices we make. The important thing is to be happy with whatever choice u make, and other people will just have to deal with it.
I think i'll stop now
;D
I dont think all women (and men) should have kids. I've seen plenty of parents who dont act as such and raise little savages who are ill mannered and generally unpleasant kids to be around
, or who just dont care for them as they should, and that's just sad. I do think people who really want to be parents out of love should go for it 110%, but if for some reason u feel that isnt for u, it's best not to do it. If ur going to do it u must do it right and give the child the love and attention they deserve. The world is full of possibilities, and having kids is just one of them. I do wish people would be more respectful of one's choices though, cause i dont go around asking my married friends with kids why the hell they made that choice, and i dont see what entitles them to butt into my decisions.
I have friends who are married because they cannot be alone, but i dont make them feel bad about it. If someone asks me for advice i give it, but in the end we're all responsible for the choices we make. The important thing is to be happy with whatever choice u make, and other people will just have to deal with it.
I think i'll stop now
;D
cholas
Dagobah Resident
I had wanted to toss another angle in to this informative discussion but can't seem to find the pertinent session.
The gist: Someone had asked(maybe Laura) why she had chosen to have 5 children in this lifetime, on a soul-level.
The answer was that it was a 'fast-track' to cleaning [her] karmic slate, something that was apparently very beneficial to 'graduating'. Taking on a heavy burden to multiply the potential lessons as it were.
Of course this was for a specific person and doesn't fit for everyone.
I'll continue searching for the exact session quote.
The gist: Someone had asked(maybe Laura) why she had chosen to have 5 children in this lifetime, on a soul-level.
The answer was that it was a 'fast-track' to cleaning [her] karmic slate, something that was apparently very beneficial to 'graduating'. Taking on a heavy burden to multiply the potential lessons as it were.
Of course this was for a specific person and doesn't fit for everyone.
I'll continue searching for the exact session quote.
cholas
Dagobah Resident
agni said:
Hi agni. The problem with this thinking is that, although logical, it doesn't really take into account a much larger picture. For example, the C's, as well as Ra and Cayce have said that many souls are reincarnating 'now' in order to learn from(the good side) or recreate(the not-so) the experience of the destruction in Atlantean times.
For example, if those of us here who do choose to have children and they are here to re-experience this destruction, would there be a higher chance that they would be of the learning variety? In other words, choosing to come here 'through' someone(s), who is moving consciously towards evolution, to help to clear their own karmic past? Which ultimately could benefit humanity as a whole? Just a thought.
I too shared the 'overpopulated earth' theory for many years until an older friend with 7 children(!) responded to my query of 'why?'. He explained that how he raised his children(he was a very good, knowledgeable person) verses how a narcissist couple raised their children meant that he was helping to 'even the playing field', so to say.
In other words if all, inherently good/knowledgeable people did not have children, how would the world look? He felt as though they were contributing to the 'good people' of the world. Based on his children's understandings and behavior, I really think he was.
agni
Dagobah Resident
cholas said:
Hi Cholas !
It does take a much larger picture into account. Earth is not the only place or way for Universe to present the opportunity for learning. I am pretty sure Universe has plenty of other outlets for this.
cholas said:
Looks like we switched places :)
I also was in the more or less same line of thought for many years before, but from what I have learned about machines and predator mind, having children seems to be mechanical action. And as with many other mechanical actions, predator mind will come up with every single excuse not to disengage in mechanical behavior. And originating from instinctive level it is very powerful. Do people have kids because they KNOW they will help balance things out on the planet ? Most likely no. Most often it's 'I wanted to had kids since I was a little girl', 'I always wanted to have large family' or 'I've dreamed about it the whole life', 'I love kids' and so on. It's all about their wants and their(?) dreams and preferences in likes in most of the cases. The whole idea of having kids to balance planet sounds little bet New Agey to me. Indigo anyone ? To begin with, balancing if anything begins with knowing what one is DOing, and starts with oneself, not with creating offspring, but merely using own resources. There is a good saying: "If you want something done - do it yourself !" I bet many people hoped to have their kids to benefit humanity over the centuries. But hey, take a look around. Are things getting any better ? And to think for kids how they are going to be and what they will do for this world is very narcissistic, IMHO. If anything, it is a choice of a kid, not the parent.
cholas said:
I also have asked the same question on the forum before. I think that this STS world would collapse on itself, may be ?
But again, as far as having kids, I do not know. I do not know much in general, and I am wrong more then I am right, that's for sure :)
I just had an email from my younger daughter's teacher at school that was so positive, I would like to share it with you.
She said that it had been a pleasure to work with such enthusiastic, well-behaved and well-brought up, empathic, kind, curious and hard-working children.
I agree with her! Their first teacher said the same, and was in tears saying goodbye to them.
I also had the same experience in her kindergarten, which was more like a large family. The children were really loved by the carers, and the kids were fantastic also.
You could see that the parents were dedicated to the upbringing of their children. I've also seen this attitude in more of her friends and parents.
The kids may not know about The Wave and lots of other important stuff. Most likely, they will not graduate. But they are plenty of good and happy little campers
out there.
My little kid is mostly great, has been from day one, when I fell totally in love with her; she has brought a lot of meaning and happiness into my life.
In fact even before she was born, and I was heavily pregnant, looking like an Easter egg with legs, she was kicking quite hard, so I stroked my stomach to relieve the pain, I felt either a little head or a little bottom nestling in my hand, and all was peaceful - our first cuddle! Simply amazing.
She said that it had been a pleasure to work with such enthusiastic, well-behaved and well-brought up, empathic, kind, curious and hard-working children.
I agree with her! Their first teacher said the same, and was in tears saying goodbye to them.
I also had the same experience in her kindergarten, which was more like a large family. The children were really loved by the carers, and the kids were fantastic also.
You could see that the parents were dedicated to the upbringing of their children. I've also seen this attitude in more of her friends and parents.
The kids may not know about The Wave and lots of other important stuff. Most likely, they will not graduate. But they are plenty of good and happy little campers
out there.
My little kid is mostly great, has been from day one, when I fell totally in love with her; she has brought a lot of meaning and happiness into my life.
In fact even before she was born, and I was heavily pregnant, looking like an Easter egg with legs, she was kicking quite hard, so I stroked my stomach to relieve the pain, I felt either a little head or a little bottom nestling in my hand, and all was peaceful - our first cuddle! Simply amazing.
