Any thoughts on Incels?
- Thread starter Viktor
- Start date
What do you mean by the term and how do you define it as a “movement?” We have some previous threads which speak about the deterioration of relations between the sexes, fomented by the PTBs. Search for it and related issues and it’ll turn them up.
Have you researched the movement before asking the question? Where do you think this movement came from? What makes you think you can hinder it? Did your friend ask for help?
dervishsam
The Force is Strong With This One
I think its clear what sparked incel movement, its young men's inability to find a mate and form relationships. I think a lot of men get lonely and bitter , they have to somehow release all these bitterness. I think most men unsuccessful in dating market is due to economic conditions in the western countries, women in their 20's making more then men in the same age bracket, and due to the fact that most women are hypergamous they want to date guys who make more money than they do. In term of solutions the one thing that can prevent men from getting angry and bitter is finding faith , believing in something bigger, living in accordance with high morality principles and being men of integrity.
Hi Viktor,
What do you mean feel to it? maybe that would help the conversation along.
do you mean he's now single and hasn't dated anyone in a while? or has never dated anyone? or he has decided to not date anyone?
some of these details matter I think, age too I believe. But it's ultimately an individual effort that will get a man out of the bitterness that makes him think that being single is somehow unfair punishment, it isn't, and being bitter about it is probably the worst mindset to be in to meet women.
Life doesn't give one something, specially a partner, just because one wants it, you've gotta work for it, and even then there's the risk of failure, it's just life. Which is what's behind that concept of being an involuntary celibate, there's the will it takes to get oneself to a place where one is comfortable dating, and there's just wanting a partner for some reason. Wanting and not getting isn't the same as involuntary, involuntary means lack of will, by accident, by mistake, and that's not how interpersonal relations work in my experience.
SOTTREADER
The Living Force
For those of us who aren't down with the latest lingo, please define what the term is expected to mean. 
I think the discussion in this thread is a good start
It's a good overview of all the things which are often out of balance between men and women. Expectations, societal influences, the influence of psychopaths and so on.
Incels seem to me just one symptom of all these problems. They are sad and pathetic, would be many people's first reaction, but they have also been set up to fail in many ways. It's a complex problem.
It's a good overview of all the things which are often out of balance between men and women. Expectations, societal influences, the influence of psychopaths and so on.
Incels seem to me just one symptom of all these problems. They are sad and pathetic, would be many people's first reaction, but they have also been set up to fail in many ways. It's a complex problem.
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My thoughts on incels: Reactive attachment disorder, although it may only apply to children, may explain quite a bit. Caused by trauma, symptoms include difficulty expressing positive emotions, unexplained fear or unhappiness, watching but not engaging, and not usually seeking comfort in times of distress.
Other anxieties that could cause social isolation may be found in books like Healing Developmental Trauma. The thread for that one is under the subforum 'The Work.'
It is probably about being low on the social ladder or having difficulties in social interaction. It's not as complicated as politics makes it seem.
Other anxieties that could cause social isolation may be found in books like Healing Developmental Trauma. The thread for that one is under the subforum 'The Work.'
It is probably about being low on the social ladder or having difficulties in social interaction. It's not as complicated as politics makes it seem.
dervishsam
The Force is Strong With This One
Incel means involuntary celibate, usually applies to men who can't get into a relationship with women no matter how hard they try.For those of us who aren't down with the latest lingo, please define what the term is expected to mean.
SOTTREADER
The Living Force
Ah, it reminds me of the MGTOW movement!
The best advice I ever received in my life was to work on yourself, face your fears (within reason), be a person of good character and be patient. Also, let life surprise you - sometimes you have something in your mind and life delivers something else. Ask yourself why, observe, try and figure out the dance because we are certainly dancing with something in our lives and not everyone is dancing to the same thing. You need to figure out what dance you are in and over time you may start to influence the flow of the dance.
The best advice I ever received in my life was to work on yourself, face your fears (within reason), be a person of good character and be patient. Also, let life surprise you - sometimes you have something in your mind and life delivers something else. Ask yourself why, observe, try and figure out the dance because we are certainly dancing with something in our lives and not everyone is dancing to the same thing. You need to figure out what dance you are in and over time you may start to influence the flow of the dance.
I mean, he fell to it. He ended falling in this group.
I understand that life does not owe anything to anyone. Not even food. BUT if one finds no food and keeps not finding, a convoluted mind is what comes. Knowing that nothing is free does not help.
His conclusion is that a relationship is nothing more than a trade, and he's got to work for it. That is, to earn money and "pay" for a relationship.
People, usually men, who are very frustrated for not having relationships.For those of us who aren't down with the latest lingo, please define what the term is expected to mean.
Most of them are quite nihilistic, thinking that it happens for their not having beauty or social status.
Some are so resentful about society that they commit violence.
Incel-ideology is a widespread phenomenon.
I guess that's it. I hope these guys get through it and this craziness ceases.
Oh I see, well... unfortunately, he will need to dig himself out of it, no one can really do it for him.
And well, I agree that not getting any success might lead one to a convoluted thinking, however I disagree with Knowing, it actually makes all the difference in the world. Because I think that the "not finding" comes from a belief that life will bestow upon someone a gift without work, it's quite the opposite, life responds when you put in the effort, and one of the first parts of that work is to live with the knowledge that making an effort in a direction garners results.
Relationships are indeed a trade, of energy, time, resources, commitment, promises, affection and so many more ingredients. But it's quite more than that, it's more than the sum of its parts. The trouble with seeing it in such utilitarian terms will eventually land one in a position where there's no point in even considering getting into a relationship.
So, perhaps, the only thing I could suggest you can tell your friend is that, IF he wants a relationship, the best approach he can take isn't to constantly define himself as some Internet personalities would define him and try to make himself fit a tiny concept, instead, he can work to become the person he would like to meet, and embody the values, virtues and behaviors he envisions the person he'd like to meet would have, thus becoming recognizable to her.
