Best Jokes

Voyageur said:
This is best jokes, yet to add to what you said, Fletcher Prouty had some comments, as did Pierre discussing hydrocarbons in relationship to Venus, first proposed by Velikovsky.
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Hey Voyageur, thanks for the Prouty Interview, I already knew that the term was made up AND promoted by e.g. the Rockefellers, so Prouty hits the nail with his last words in the vid: "There is a Dollar Sign behind Everything" ....
 
21 things you should never say to someone who has just broken up
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Break-ups are hard. Especially for friends and acquaintances of those who have split up. After all, they have to listen to the annoying moaning and help to rebuild those affected. But which sentences are taboo in such a situation? The Postillon has done some research:

1. "Oh dear, and at your age!"

2. "Great! Then I can finally date your ex."

3. "Maybe it will comfort you: after all, my relationship is going really well. I'm currently having the sex of my life."

4. "Great! And before your anniversary. Now Torsten owes me a penny."

5. "No stress. I'll lend you my porn collection."

6. "Klabimm klabämm klaböngel. Remmi bemmi schlawupf."

7. "I told you years ago that this wouldn't work."

8. "YOU were in a relationship??? Wow! Just wow."

9. "Ah, that means you now have to decide which of you two you want to stay friends with.... Okay ciao, take care."

10. "YES! YES! YES! All these years I've been working towards this!"

11. "Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!"

12. "Cheer up! Your ex is bound to find someone better quickly."

13. "It was foreseeable. Maybe next time you'll pick someone who's not much better looking than you, just to be on the safe side."

14 "Well, what else can you do now but take your own life?"

15 "I totally understand, I would have broken up with you years ago."

16. "Now that you mention it, I'm going through a lot too. My goldfish died last week. I'm really sad right now, can we talk about me first and then about you?"

17 "Oh, now I can't even resolve the fact that the rumour that you were cheating was just a gag. Too bad."

18. "What did he/she break up with you for, can I guess? Because you let yourself go so much over the months? Or is it because you're always so selfish? Or no, wait wait, is it because of your awful taste in clothes? Or..."

19. "No problem: you get really drunk now and then you call your ex at half past two in the morning and ask if he/she will take you back? I've heard that this strategy has a very high success rate."

20 "What a coincidence that he/she left you today of all days. I only confessed my love to him/her yesterday."

21 "Don't be sad. You're not worth it."

Source (DE)
 
RAFL said:
21 things you should never say to someone who has just broken up
View attachment 100216

Break-ups are hard. Especially for friends and acquaintances of those who have split up. After all, they have to listen to the annoying moaning and help to rebuild those affected. But which sentences are taboo in such a situation? The Postillon has done some research:

1. "Oh dear, and at your age!"

2. "Great! Then I can finally date your ex."

3. "Maybe it will comfort you: after all, my relationship is going really well. I'm currently having the sex of my life."

4. "Great! And before your anniversary. Now Torsten owes me a penny."

5. "No stress. I'll lend you my porn collection."

6. "Klabimm klabämm klaböngel. Remmi bemmi schlawupf."

7. "I told you years ago that this wouldn't work."

8. "YOU were in a relationship??? Wow! Just wow."

9. "Ah, that means you now have to decide which of you two you want to stay friends with.... Okay ciao, take care."

10. "YES! YES! YES! All these years I've been working towards this!"

11. "Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!"

12. "Cheer up! Your ex is bound to find someone better quickly."

13. "It was foreseeable. Maybe next time you'll pick someone who's not much better looking than you, just to be on the safe side."

14 "Well, what else can you do now but take your own life?"

15 "I totally understand, I would have broken up with you years ago."

16. "Now that you mention it, I'm going through a lot too. My goldfish died last week. I'm really sad right now, can we talk about me first and then about you?"

17 "Oh, now I can't even resolve the fact that the rumour that you were cheating was just a gag. Too bad."

18. "What did he/she break up with you for, can I guess? Because you let yourself go so much over the months? Or is it because you're always so selfish? Or no, wait wait, is it because of your awful taste in clothes? Or..."

19. "No problem: you get really drunk now and then you call your ex at half past two in the morning and ask if he/she will take you back? I've heard that this strategy has a very high success rate."

20 "What a coincidence that he/she left you today of all days. I only confessed my love to him/her yesterday."

21 "Don't be sad. You're not worth it."

Source (DE)
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I want to apologise, I was in a satire flow for a while. If you are not in the flow, it is not funny. It's the opposite.

Admins: can we delete this post?
 
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