Boardlurker? Read this!!

[anart]

Whenever I move toward the idea of posting something, a chorus of voices arose in me.
This excessive internal considering is something I have to face in many life situations but this forum makes it screaming.
I think what keeps me back, for the most part, is the fear of exposing myself.
It's been a year that I'm trying to allow myself speaking out without fears of confrontation.
That's not always easy when for the most of my life I've been struggling to be always nice to become the one that everybody loves.
Even at the cost of loosing or suppressing pieces of me.
That's my hypocrisy.

It's also very common and something that all of us deal with from time to time, I think. I also think that what matters is what we do even when the chorus of voices arises in us to shut us down. Sometimes the most valuable things are the ones we shy away from.

I think I'm also afraid about exposing my ignorance at the cost of the primped self image which I mostly present in the everyday life.

Try to think about it this way: we're all ignorant about something - about many things - and some of us know something about something or many things, but only together - by sharing what we do and don't know - can we get a clearer picture of everything. If we weren't ignorant, we'd probably not even be here, so maybe if you really start to consider the idea that you're not different from anyone else and that you could actually be enjoying yourself here if you opened up just the tiniest bit, it might help get things moving. At least it's an idea worth considering, right?

 

[buz/p]

[It is becoming apparent why this thread goes on and on. There is a constant trickle of newbies who realize that participation and interaction on the forum is important for growth.]

In my readings recently I keep coming across the statements about the importance of networking and interaction with others of like mind who are on the journey to increase awareness and consciousness. Networking with others creates a 'sounding board' or mirror in which we can determine objective reality. Do I have that right?

I was reading Michael Topper's writings on positive and negative realms of high densities. At the end Laura speculates that what may have tripped him up was that he did not have a network of support and consequently became vulnerable to attack. I hadn't thought of it quite that way. I felt a brief stab in my chest and realized that we are all vulnerable without networking. I realize now on a visceral level how important it is. It is something which we must do in order to establish a true sense of self (I think).

It is difficult for most of us to allow ourselves to be objectively critiqued and guided away from our most precious illusions. I know that it is one of my most difficult blocks. I feel at times as if I am pressing against a transparent membrane which resists all my efforts to break through. On the other side is higher consciousness and awareness. So close as if it has been there all along. Yet far away in a different dimension/reality. I have such a long way to go.

 

[Gaolea]

If we are going to pull our buns out of the fire, it takes a group. And if you aren't participating, then you aren't part of that group. And if you aren't participating, then maybe those who are won't be enough. The group might not be strong enough. Will you really want to look at yourself some day and ask "What if?"

Now check out the Forum Guidelines and if that is agreeable, come on in and get off that fence!!

I now there im not very participe like others in this group, my english is very bad and i usually use a traductor for translate spanish to english. but it seems many words in spanish translate to english with diferent meaning.

Fo now on i promise ill do my best and be most participen in the group :)

greetings to everyone :3


Edit=Quotes

 

[buz/p]

I am always impressed by those people who struggle against language barriers in order to participate in the discussions. The rewards can be great for those who persevere.

 

[marek760]

Well, after a couple of months of lurking maybe its a good time to start posting , group and participation is the most important.
I always had some excuses :
nothing interesting to write
english is not my native language

thanks for this post, reminded me what is important.

 

[Jacques]

Well, after a couple of months of lurking maybe its a good time to start posting , group and participation is the most important.
I always had some excuses :
nothing interesting to write
english is not my native language

thanks for this post, reminded me what is important.

Good idea and don't worry there are many members whose native language is not English.

 

[Andrian]

Thank you Vulcan59 for the thread and to all who had posted, i decided to post here because i am a lurker and this behavior of mine has influenced negatively on me ,i've noticed that even if truying to keep up with Sott news(which sincerely i'm not keeping an eye allways),reading recomended books from QFG's list i didn't find time to follow the forum allways finding some excuse like for exemple ,not finding time because reading the books and following Sott ther is no time to follow the forum and so on off course these are just excuses from my own predator mind, i've started to realise this because even reading the recomended books following Sott in most of the part, doing EE(which a couple of months ago i stopped doing regularelly,but now i begun to practice more regularelly) i felt that something is missing ,i felt blocket and to be honest i felt alone and all the reading that i do or did has/had no purpose or meaning ,truying to figure it out where lies the problem finally i get it, without participating in the forum, which i realised sincerely that i really missed so much i parallysed myself, maybe i gathered knowledge but without sharing and participating in a network such as ours here the knowledge ,information learned has no use or importance, in short i think that finally i resalise how important is to network ,first of all here you find a second home where you are allways welcome and there are allways your brothers and sisters who will be glad to help ,share ,learn together like a family,i really hope for my own good that i learned,understood something and i'm sincere with myself telling that i want to participate more and be part of this great network/family,thank you all for everything.

 

[buz/p]

It is probable that many of us feel alone; and in fact we are at least in the sense that we may be the only one in our immediate family and circle of friends who is involved in the work. We have no one to talk to, no one to share our challenges and stumbles. It is not long before a kind of depression can set in thus stunting our progress.

Personally, I have been alone so long that it has become my comfort zone. That is dangerous. As long as I remain in my comfort zone I will not grow. Reading and studying is easy. Interacting and putting myself out there is difficult. I remember my dad telling me that if I have a choice between two actions, taking the most difficult will usually turn out to be the correct move. I don't believe that is always true. But, then, nothing is always...

 

[Stoneboss]

I am amazed at how difficult it is for me to even do a simple thing as writing this post. I have been a lurker since I signed up with the forum about 16 months ago. Up until 3 months ago, I used the excuse (to myself) that it would be hypocritical to participate on the forum because I was still drinking (alcohol has been a problem for me for the last 40 years of my life - I'm now 53). Three months ago, I finally gave it up. Completely. I don't miss it at all, and actually feel like a slave who has been granted his freedom. However, after being completely sober for three months, having the clarity of mind to be able to really start "doing" and at times really having the feeling of "being" (although only for small amounts of time), I know that everything stops here for me, that I cannot keep growing and eventually connect to my higher self until I begin to participate and interact with others of like mind on this forum. I am coming to realize how important this is, not just for me, but for everyone in the group.

After reading part of this thread (I didn't take the time to read it all yet because I would probably use that as another excuse to procrastinate and delay posting until a future time) I also realized that alcohol wasn't my only problem... It is fear and self importance. I fear what others might think of me. That I'm not as smart or intelligent as I think I am. That I might say something stupid (I use the term "might" loosely because I will and have said stupid things) and have that pointed out to me. I even fear that I could be rejected from the group and have no chance at the goal of making the "transition" in the (hopefully) near future.

I don't think I need to go on here. Some, if not all, of what I have just said have been experienced and mentioned by other members in this thread, which is really what compelled me to write this post.

I had a very difficult time to convince myself to write this post... but you know, it really wasn't all that bad!

I also thank you Vulcan59 for starting this thread.

 

[Mr. Premise]

I have to say that I've found the posts here by lurker and hopefully former lurker very inspiring. I think it's the yearning for what the forum has to offer that I find inspiring plus the struggle against blocks, struggles that succeed the moment you post here. So for those who said they haven't posted because they thought they didn't have anything to offer, that's not true because you've offered some inspiration!

Plus it's nice to hear new voices.

 

[Seppo Ilmarinen]

I am amazed at how difficult it is for me to even do a simple thing as writing this post. I have been a lurker since I signed up with the forum about 16 months ago. Up until 3 months ago, I used the excuse (to myself) that it would be hypocritical to participate on the forum because I was still drinking (alcohol has been a problem for me for the last 40 years of my life - I'm now 53). Three months ago, I finally gave it up. Completely. I don't miss it at all, and actually feel like a slave who has been granted his freedom. However, after being completely sober for three months, having the clarity of mind to be able to really start "doing" and at times really having the feeling of "being" (although only for small amounts of time), I know that everything stops here for me, that I cannot keep growing and eventually connect to my higher self until I begin to participate and interact with others of like mind on this forum. I am coming to realize how important this is, not just for me, but for everyone in the group.

Congratulations for taking important step by choosing not to use alcohol. Taking care of your health is important in "doing" because it's easer to make better choises when you take care of your machine.

After reading part of this thread (I didn't take the time to read it all yet because I would probably use that as another excuse to procrastinate and delay posting until a future time) I also realized that alcohol wasn't my only problem... It is fear and self importance. I fear what others might think of me. That I'm not as smart or intelligent as I think I am. That I might say something stupid (I use the term "might" loosely because I will and have said stupid things) and have that pointed out to me. I even fear that I could be rejected from the group and have no chance at the goal of making the "transition" in the (hopefully) near future.

It's useful to observe and analyze your own behavior like you're describing, and seeing the predator mind in action. It already shows that you don't believe everything you think. Your fears are common in our narsistic culture and I identify those in myself too. Recommended psychology books have been helpful understanding my own behavior (Myth of Sanity, Trapped in the Mirror) and why there are these fears of self importance. I recommend those if you haven't checked them out yet?

I don't think I need to go on here. Some, if not all, of what I have just said have been experienced and mentioned by other members in this thread, which is really what compelled me to write this post.

I had a very difficult time to convince myself to write this post... but you know, it really wasn't all that bad!

I also thank you Vulcan59 for starting this thread.

It wasn't, and it inspired me to resist my boardlurking tendency and participate by writing this reply, so thank you :)

 

[Stoneboss]

I am amazed at how difficult it is for me to even do a simple thing as writing this post. I have been a lurker since I signed up with the forum about 16 months ago. Up until 3 months ago, I used the excuse (to myself) that it would be hypocritical to participate on the forum because I was still drinking (alcohol has been a problem for me for the last 40 years of my life - I'm now 53). Three months ago, I finally gave it up. Completely. I don't miss it at all, and actually feel like a slave who has been granted his freedom. However, after being completely sober for three months, having the clarity of mind to be able to really start "doing" and at times really having the feeling of "being" (although only for small amounts of time), I know that everything stops here for me, that I cannot keep growing and eventually connect to my higher self until I begin to participate and interact with others of like mind on this forum. I am coming to realize how important this is, not just for me, but for everyone in the group.

Congratulations for taking important step by choosing not to use alcohol. Taking care of your health is important in "doing" because it's easer to make better choises when you take care of your machine.

After reading part of this thread (I didn't take the time to read it all yet because I would probably use that as another excuse to procrastinate and delay posting until a future time) I also realized that alcohol wasn't my only problem... It is fear and self importance. I fear what others might think of me. That I'm not as smart or intelligent as I think I am. That I might say something stupid (I use the term "might" loosely because I will and have said stupid things) and have that pointed out to me. I even fear that I could be rejected from the group and have no chance at the goal of making the "transition" in the (hopefully) near future.

It's useful to observe and analyze your own behavior like you're describing, and seeing the predator mind in action. It already shows that you don't believe everything you think. Your fears are common in our narsistic culture and I identify those in myself too. Recommended psychology books have been helpful understanding my own behavior (Myth of Sanity, Trapped in the Mirror) and why there are these fears of self importance. I recommend those if you haven't checked them out yet?

I don't think I need to go on here. Some, if not all, of what I have just said have been experienced and mentioned by other members in this thread, which is really what compelled me to write this post.

I had a very difficult time to convince myself to write this post... but you know, it really wasn't all that bad!

I also thank you Vulcan59 for starting this thread.

It wasn't, and it inspired me to resist my boardlurking tendency and participate by writing this reply, so thank you :)

Thank you for the suggestion Seppo Ilmarinen, I've just purchased and downloaded Myth of Sanity on Kindle.

 

[Joanne]

I had no idea there were so many of us Boardlurkers! What a shame to be so intimidated by vocabulary, speed to evaluate a thought or situation, confidence to jump right in and comment. Crowds have always made me uncomfortable and this SOTT’s forum is a huge crowd! Would you believe I have maintained this silence for over 12 years now? I finally mustered up the courage to introduced myself a short while ago (on this site) and yet my Husband and I have read Laura’s books, Gurdjieff, Castanada, Mouravieff and so much, much more for decades (since I was about 12 years old and we are 70 now). Laura was extremely exciting to discover and we have incorporated much of her philosophy and discoveries over the years. We are still on our own path and totally respect others. Such fun to evolve!

Thank you all for your encouragement but know many of us are trying to get over this hurdle and yet it appears so easy to so many. A special thanks to Vulcan59 and Anart. 

 

[Jacques]

Would you believe I have maintained this silence for over 12 years now? I

Never but I am really happy to see that you have decided to jump in and to begin to network with all of us.

 

[Maya]

I am always impressed by those people who struggle against language barriers in order to participate in the discussions. The rewards can be great for those who persevere.

I hope so !
Sometimes it takes a hour or two to write/translate to English something at least understandable
and I'm still worried what if it would be taken as noise because rarely I have time to read all posts before mine in some thread.
Then I ussualy give up on posting just not to be rude or inconsiderate to other people who are all the time here participating.
And yes ! Many times it takes forever to catch up with reading the materials, posts, books etc,.. many times after work someone is always
around me saying 'Mommy this and Mommy that' and I don't have a heart to continue reading until she is asleep... then when I finnaly have something to say - ussualy everybody has already said everything smart and important what it has to be said at the topic

Hmmm.... but I'm totaly aware of the contributing importance, oh yes !