Boardlurker? Read this!!
- Thread starter Vulcan59
- Start date
Thanks again Vulcan and everyone that has posted for this thread. Busted! i too have been lurking for a very long time. i can relate to all reasons expressed for not joining in.
i started reading this thread and it took almost three weeks to read all posts due to time constraints. Then with all of the busy obstacles thrown in it has taken another three weeks to finally make time to write this. The whole time this thread has been in my thoughts so i have to stop thinking about it and just do it!
The biggest reasons i haven't participated is fear. Fear of the mirror. Fear that i won't express myself properly. Fear that i don't know enough. Fear that i can't make quality contributions. Experience with other groups brought unpleasant situations that i honestly didn't/don't want to go through again. But the realization, from reading the transcripts, that i am being left behind and my efforts being blocked is a situation that is no longer acceptable. And that is a greater fear (being blocked, left behind) than all other excuses. I also understand that if one has an understanding (knowledge) and does nothing, (s)he is worse off than one that has no understanding at all. Already, with the few posts i have made, things, life in general feels better. Connecting with the group here is now allowing potential to be realized? Hope so!
i could go no and on, but in closing, i hope this post helps someone as all of your posts helped me to get over myself and the false fear program form the predator.
i started reading this thread and it took almost three weeks to read all posts due to time constraints. Then with all of the busy obstacles thrown in it has taken another three weeks to finally make time to write this. The whole time this thread has been in my thoughts so i have to stop thinking about it and just do it!
The biggest reasons i haven't participated is fear. Fear of the mirror. Fear that i won't express myself properly. Fear that i don't know enough. Fear that i can't make quality contributions. Experience with other groups brought unpleasant situations that i honestly didn't/don't want to go through again. But the realization, from reading the transcripts, that i am being left behind and my efforts being blocked is a situation that is no longer acceptable. And that is a greater fear (being blocked, left behind) than all other excuses. I also understand that if one has an understanding (knowledge) and does nothing, (s)he is worse off than one that has no understanding at all. Already, with the few posts i have made, things, life in general feels better. Connecting with the group here is now allowing potential to be realized? Hope so!
i could go no and on, but in closing, i hope this post helps someone as all of your posts helped me to get over myself and the false fear program form the predator.
I agree. When I first joined the forum I felt the same as you. I had all sorts of thoughts about how I wasn't clever enough or that I would just be making noise but I stuck at it and posting got easier over time.Hesper said:PopPop said:
I think that you've expressed yourself just fine PopPop - that was very inspirational and sums up a lot of what holds many of us back. Thank you for sharing.
It didn't come by itself though, outside of the forum I got my diet in order and tried out various detox protocols, I made changes in my life and tried (and sometimes failed) to follow advice given to me here, I made the effort to follow the example of the members here and I read and read and read till I got to a point where it became easier to pick up on some small things or make suggestions relating to books I had read or things I had seen on SOTT.
So, if you work at learning as much as you can, as and when you can then I'm sure you will be able to make valuable contributions here on the forum.
Generator
The Force is Strong With This One
Nobody should be forced or 'guilt-tripped' into joining the forum or contributing - if people are merely reading they may not be ready to contribute. There is, after all, a heck of a lot of information to digest here. To describe someone as a 'lurker' is very insulting and bloody-minded. The obligation to join, contribute, assimilate into 'the group' and 'believe' is rather creepy and typically cultish.
Free-will is all-important.
Nobody has to do anything else but try to 'know thyself.'
Let people make their own decisions. If they make ones different to yours, accept that they have chosen as such.
You can't live anyone else's life: practise goodwill in your own.
Free-will is all-important.
Nobody has to do anything else but try to 'know thyself.'
Let people make their own decisions. If they make ones different to yours, accept that they have chosen as such.
You can't live anyone else's life: practise goodwill in your own.
Generator, there is no obligation and anybody with two firing neurons would understand that the fact that the forum is not private like many others (where you have to register in order to read) means that there is no obligation. Therefore, your pseudo-complaint is irrelevant and as a member of the forum, you are invited to mind your language and tone. If you don't communicate like a decent human being you have the freedom to seek another place that is more suitable for you. Nobody's obliging you to stay.
Generator said:
Where in this thread is anyone guilt-tripping people to contribute? Where is anyone saying someone who just reads and doesn't post is obliged to do just that? Your over-emotional reaction to a suggestion, one which is meant to be an aid to people who are shy about posting, is entirely out of place. If you aren't aware, the use of the term boardlurker is not meant in a pejorative sense here. The fact that you are insulted by something that is not at all meant as an insult says more about your state of mind than anything.
Ina
The Living Force
Well... Notwithstanding the validity of the message...and in complete accordance with the voices that expressed certain barriers in group communication in front of such a vast body of material ... I have only one comment. In the presence of inactive accounts the board admin has the option of acting upon the closure of such accounts with or without notice.
Personally, I find the forum very warm and supportive. Sometimes I have the sense of knowing more but not being able to articulate what I know. Most of the times though I have no clue what posters are talking about which sends me on a reading and books buying spree (bad idea with the money situation) only to return and find yet someting else comparably mentally engaging. This is a very dynamic forum and I hope it will stay that way.
A very warm thank you to all involved admin and users alike.
Ina
Personally, I find the forum very warm and supportive. Sometimes I have the sense of knowing more but not being able to articulate what I know. Most of the times though I have no clue what posters are talking about which sends me on a reading and books buying spree (bad idea with the money situation) only to return and find yet someting else comparably mentally engaging. This is a very dynamic forum and I hope it will stay that way.
A very warm thank you to all involved admin and users alike.
Ina
Alada
The Living Force
Generator said:
I absolutely agree.
Generator said:
I don't agree. As you will see from other replies on the thread, not all people recieve the word "lurker" in the same way. It depends on other things, how we're feeling on the day, past experiences, intent, for example.
Generator said:
Where is the obligation? See above.
Generator said:
I agree, and it is especially important from the point of view of maintaining the free will of all forum members, not to be manipulated, or have their time wasted.
Generator said:
Indeed.
Generator said:
Quite.
Generator said:
Absolutely. So are we allowed to manage the forum as we see fit, based on years of research and accumulated data, or as suits you, according to your reaction to one post?
onemen
Jedi
Languages confusion, brain games & Boardlurker problems relating to posting
I must admit that I am guilty of doing exactly that, I'm a pro boardlurcker
, even though I've been a member of this forum since 3 years and a half now. I feel like I'm going stagnant in my life due to my inability to network and post. So I would like some helps and reassurances on my problems. I must say that I fully understand all that is said here even though it's not my native language and I'm pretty much a "digital-tech-aware" guy to be able to find the meanings of what I do not know. So I have no excuse not to share anything isn't it ? And yet I still have somes things that blocks me so to speak, and that's why I never found a rhythm to post regularly.
My first problem is my perfectionistic program that makes me write large amounts of texts due to fear of saying incomplete things and write everything on my mind before posting and therefore that makes me spend longs hours to write.
I wonder if it's not a brain damage problem that makes me lost for words. I have memory loss. Like, while writing something I think about what I'll say next, then the next moment I forgot the idea of what I wanted to say next because another thing I want to say next has took his place.
It also happens to me very often to go back to correct or restate what I write and also to procrastinate in the sense that I write a general or incomplete idea while thinking about the exact detail thing I want to say and yet I told myself that I'll continue later, like, okay I'll leave it like this and then continue/complete the rest after I've finished all others things. And then It also happens that my mind goes totally blank, forgetting my point and aim and just bit of phrases rewinding and looping inside my head, not knowing how to continue :/ . In the end, I end up with a completely disjointed post with lots of ideas upside down to correct and I find myself playing puzzle games with my writings and to rewind them in my head a couples of times. In the long run it's frustrating to write, it's like I have to fight to start but after I started I'm taken over by this program.until the point I'm completely exhausted with writing and until everything is perfectly suitable for submitting.
So relating to this, I have some questions to ask.
How do you order your mind and your thoughts when writing ? What is on your mind when you are writing ? Do you write things as it comes so to speak ? Are someone else having this sort of problems ?
My second problem are related to languages or verbalizing my thoughts in a language.
After having read in English for the past 3 or 4 years on various fields of study before and since encountering this community, I consider myself more or less "fluent" in English at least in written and oral comprehension. So much, that when I reflect on life or encounter situations that remind me of the areas of study here, my thoughts resonates more in English than in French and my mind is full of references from my readings here. So when I'm in the process of writing, at first I always think and write directly in English because thanks to all my readings and listening here and there, I recorded a lot of sentences and phrases until when then I reach some language limitations when it comes to consciously write certain others things or events of my life that I do not have words coming automatically in English. So I feel blocked and I have to go back to French thinking mode, to try to verbalize what I mean in french before translating it into English.
The problem is that, more and more often, I feel like I've lost my ability to speak my mind in my native language and not having enough vocabulary, like stumbling over my words a lot in French.
I think the reason for this may be that I don't have enough experience with voicing or verbally talking about the subjects here where I am (france) although when I was in Madagascar I was able to open up a little bit but I was mostly talking about religious topics which are not really of interest to people I encounter here.
So, I would to ask those of the french speaking of the community about their methods to express here.
Those 2 problems added together makes me feel unsuited to express myself, adding to that more often than not, I also have the same concern peoples have talked about in this topic, that is, not feeling like having something interesting to share compared to the great minds who write here.
Those reasons render me frustrated and I dread the idea of posting here because I know It'll take a long time for something that should be spontaneous. I have had a couple of horrendous experiences
where I have wrote blocks of texts then losing everything due to click-mistakes. Just thinking of posting here, I begun to heat and sweat to the idea. And I have a life to work on beside that, which is also not less frustrating not to mention the readings and actual work of applications. I feel like I don't have time anymore, I have before me a wall full of post-its about things I have do before moving on to something else. I feel like I'm always in a rush and not having any moment to rest because of so much things to do and think and to read,
What do y'all think ?
I must admit that I am guilty of doing exactly that, I'm a pro boardlurcker
, even though I've been a member of this forum since 3 years and a half now. I feel like I'm going stagnant in my life due to my inability to network and post. So I would like some helps and reassurances on my problems. I must say that I fully understand all that is said here even though it's not my native language and I'm pretty much a "digital-tech-aware" guy to be able to find the meanings of what I do not know. So I have no excuse not to share anything isn't it ? And yet I still have somes things that blocks me so to speak, and that's why I never found a rhythm to post regularly.My first problem is my perfectionistic program that makes me write large amounts of texts due to fear of saying incomplete things and write everything on my mind before posting and therefore that makes me spend longs hours to write.
I wonder if it's not a brain damage problem that makes me lost for words. I have memory loss. Like, while writing something I think about what I'll say next, then the next moment I forgot the idea of what I wanted to say next because another thing I want to say next has took his place.
It also happens to me very often to go back to correct or restate what I write and also to procrastinate in the sense that I write a general or incomplete idea while thinking about the exact detail thing I want to say and yet I told myself that I'll continue later, like, okay I'll leave it like this and then continue/complete the rest after I've finished all others things. And then It also happens that my mind goes totally blank, forgetting my point and aim and just bit of phrases rewinding and looping inside my head, not knowing how to continue :/ . In the end, I end up with a completely disjointed post with lots of ideas upside down to correct and I find myself playing puzzle games with my writings and to rewind them in my head a couples of times. In the long run it's frustrating to write, it's like I have to fight to start but after I started I'm taken over by this program.until the point I'm completely exhausted with writing and until everything is perfectly suitable for submitting.
So relating to this, I have some questions to ask.
How do you order your mind and your thoughts when writing ? What is on your mind when you are writing ? Do you write things as it comes so to speak ? Are someone else having this sort of problems ?
My second problem are related to languages or verbalizing my thoughts in a language.
After having read in English for the past 3 or 4 years on various fields of study before and since encountering this community, I consider myself more or less "fluent" in English at least in written and oral comprehension. So much, that when I reflect on life or encounter situations that remind me of the areas of study here, my thoughts resonates more in English than in French and my mind is full of references from my readings here. So when I'm in the process of writing, at first I always think and write directly in English because thanks to all my readings and listening here and there, I recorded a lot of sentences and phrases until when then I reach some language limitations when it comes to consciously write certain others things or events of my life that I do not have words coming automatically in English. So I feel blocked and I have to go back to French thinking mode, to try to verbalize what I mean in french before translating it into English.
The problem is that, more and more often, I feel like I've lost my ability to speak my mind in my native language and not having enough vocabulary, like stumbling over my words a lot in French.
I think the reason for this may be that I don't have enough experience with voicing or verbally talking about the subjects here where I am (france) although when I was in Madagascar I was able to open up a little bit but I was mostly talking about religious topics which are not really of interest to people I encounter here.
So, I would to ask those of the french speaking of the community about their methods to express here.
Those 2 problems added together makes me feel unsuited to express myself, adding to that more often than not, I also have the same concern peoples have talked about in this topic, that is, not feeling like having something interesting to share compared to the great minds who write here.
Those reasons render me frustrated and I dread the idea of posting here because I know It'll take a long time for something that should be spontaneous. I have had a couple of horrendous experiences
where I have wrote blocks of texts then losing everything due to click-mistakes. Just thinking of posting here, I begun to heat and sweat to the idea. And I have a life to work on beside that, which is also not less frustrating not to mention the readings and actual work of applications. I feel like I don't have time anymore, I have before me a wall full of post-its about things I have do before moving on to something else. I feel like I'm always in a rush and not having any moment to rest because of so much things to do and think and to read,What do y'all think ?