Buffers, Programs and "the Predator's Mind"

[alphonse]

Re: See my Devil

Self-importance can't be fought with niceties.....Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it--what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.....Self-importance is not something simple and naive. On the one hand, it is the core of everything that is good in us, and on the other hand, the core of everything that is rotten. To get rid of the self-importance that is rotten requires a masterpiece of strategy.--Don Juan

Thanks for that quote AWTF

It hits home for me right now. Recently I felt I was getting some where with regard to relationships with other people, but maybe I was getting smug or complacent, self satisfied with my mis-perceived progress. Last week I felt “General Law” decided to teach me a lesson or two as I had 4 or 5 situations that irritated/annoyed me a great deal – and when I considered them all, really drilled down to the root of each one, they were all directly related to my own self-importance and my Image of “me”, even if that’s not how they appeared at face value.

Frightening yet promising, I am daunted by the road ahead of me and the Work I have to do, tasking guidance from the words below

Yes, your "appreciation of yourself" blinds you. It is the biggest obstacle to a new life. You must be able to get over this obstacle, this threshold, before going further.

Forge I wish you well in your battle

 

[Gawan]

Re: See my Devil

Hi forge,

I just like to write, Chin up!! I have gone through similar battles in the last weeks.

My insides are turning out, as i behold the Devils sickening sight. It is hard to remain aware how impossible is the deed i am preparing myself to: the final fight. In possession of the knowledge gathering everything i have, everything i know. Will it be enough to beat the Evil inside me? The Battle must be ended now, in the coming weeks, shorts months.
I never dreamed how crippling will be even Maintain the State where i can

See my Devil!

I must admit, that I think that some battles will never be over, especially not the fights with our predator. IMO our chance is through networking, the EE program to recognise the predator earlier and earlier, that means to strengthen our senses to see, smell, hear and feel.


I wish you well and never forget, we are here for you, forge.

 

[forge]

Re: See my Devil

The Plan is to create financial support for those who wish to detox themselves, but don't have money for pricey DMSA and other important appliances, like FIR. If these people do quality work - like in a job - for FOTCM or QFG and their result if proven, the plan is to cover their detox costs. They name the needed supplements and those will be sent to them via mail.

The second part of the plan are visual impressions to nudge and help the masses make steps toward awakening. Enlightening animated art(pictographs) built on esoteric principles in form of youtube videos.

Sharing experiences and networking is also in the plan. This plan is written and being realized at the stage of Castaneda's Third Enemy. 3rd density energy, money, the fuel to burn is missing, and hopefully will be given on the 7th of April to accomplish the Plan.

Self-importance issues, befuddlement of the mind with the release of sexual energy(this has been transformed surprisingly into a new kind of energy [i owe posts to clarify], also for search for love), physical body tiredness after a workday, desperation about having almost no money left(mediocre food), the strain of three EE exercises per week: all these create a mold of mud causing slow-down and delay.

The process of birth, i think, was dangerously protracted because of my large skull size (thought jokingly i must be a 'successful' gray-human hybrid), stuck, with umbilical cord barred, no oxygen, and the doctor struggling to pull my head out with a big spoon-like instrument, there was possibly a period of suffocation and resulting brain damage.

As a consequence it seems a sort of Alzheimer's was created, a blind spot, becoming forgetful for a few seconds of all physical activities, walking practically 'unconscious'. This dangerous perk in full remembrance of the mode of PepperFritz's passing, was and is constantly foreseen clearly and unchanged (during years) as my Exit: a traffic accident. Walking into an approaching trolley or train car or anything heavy, with the Smash causing instant expiration of this body. Big and fatal hole in awareness, enlarged by fatigue and low blood pressure.

I am joyful about the prospects of not having to grow old, because of certain traumas experienced in this not-proud Life that i can hardly find a 'cure' for.

The Plan i want to carry out above all. It is intended to boost FOTCM/QFG projects. Approaching 7th of April, salary day, starting the project, clear and violent warning signs from the matrix are multiplying: So transparent and unambigous.
- Be a good dog, freeze, be silent, lie low, do nothing, or you will be made dead!

There are components of course what you all have been described. I think of all human errors and consequences of ego, fake personas, many horses pulling the chart in different directions, distractions, hijacked altruistic intents, all wickedness and taint and memories of obscene deeds all guilt potentially can and will be thrown off, doffed, like a heavy, filthy rain-coat that is being let slid down from the freed spirit, when it is finally going into the light.

 

[Leo40]

Re: See my Devil

Hi forge,

I just like to write, Chin up!! I have gone through similar battles in the last weeks.


I must admit, that I think that some battles will never be over, especially not the fights with our predator. IMO our chance is through networking, the EE program to recognise the predator earlier and earlier, that means to strengthen our senses to see, smell, hear and feel.

Hi, Gawan:
There is a lot about fighting in this tread. Remember the quote: "what you resist will persist", or in other words,
when you fight something you give away your energy. Knowing a program and not reacting deprives it of energy and
over time it will weaken.
my 2 cents

 

[Gawan]

Re: See my Devil

Hi, Gawan:
There is a lot about fighting in this tread. Remember the quote: "what you resist will persist", or in other words,
when you fight something you give away your energy. Knowing a program and not reacting deprives it of energy and
over time it will weaken.
my 2 cents

Thanks Leo for mentioning, I'm working on it and will consider it in a future topic of mine.

 

[mada85]

Emotions and the head

I’d like to share some observations on working with emotions, and invite feedback and comments to check that I’m on the right track.

I’ve noticed that emotions arise in the torso, in the area between the navel and the chest. They then rise into the head, and colour my thoughts and perceptions. When I remember, I can keep the emotion below the level of the neck, which keeps my head clear. But when I lose my vigilance, which is more often the case than not, the emotion rises like a fog into my head, and once there thoughts and perceptions are coloured by the emotion. This applies to negative emotions like anger as well as positive emotions like joy.

However, there is another pathway I’ve noticed. When I can successfully keep the emotion below the neck while observing it without allowing associated programs to be triggered, occasionally I have experienced a current of joy descending from the top of my head after the emotion has disappeared. The transition from the emotion to this cool joy happened quite suddenly, as though a switch had been thrown. This is something that has happened only very rarely.

It seems to me that keeping the emotions below the neck helps to keep the head cool – literally ‘keeping a cool head’ – while allowing them to rise above the neck leads to impulsive emotionally driven behaviour.

For years I thought that one should experience emotions with the whole body (including the head), and that if one did not allow them into the head, that was repression. However, especially in the past weeks of what we might call the general attack, I noticed this phenomenon of the emotions as a cloud or fog arising in the torso that then ‘invades’ the head if I am not vigilant. Keeping emotions below the neck is, I think, the first step in observing and transforming the emotion.

 

[paralleloscope]

Re: Emotions and the head

Hi Endymion, that cool headed joyous experience sounds like a succeful transmutation, by what i have read. Myself am not quite observantly available to be able to catch them before they go beyond neck. I am interested to hear what kind of situations you where in when you were able to catch it, like in solitude or social, pensive or interactive. I hope you get good feedback here.

Btw, what is that picture you have for avatar? looks intriguing

 

[Buddy]

Re: Emotions and the head

I’d like to share some observations on working with emotions, and invite feedback and comments to check that I’m on the right track.
...
I’ve noticed that emotions arise in the torso, in the area between the navel and the chest.

That sounds like the same for me, when I'm able to notice.

They then rise into the head, and colour my thoughts and perceptions.

When this happens, I can actually feel a change of state in my brain and perceptions. The sensation may be subjective and is subtle, especially with all the 'noise' of the negative emotions, but it's there.

When I remember, I can keep the emotion below the level of the neck, which keeps my head clear. But when I lose my vigilance, which is more often the case than not, the emotion rises like a fog into my head, and once there thoughts and perceptions are coloured by the emotion. This applies to negative emotions like anger as well as positive emotions like joy.

I agree with this too. Even strong positive emotions can skew my attempts at impartial observation.

However, there is another pathway I’ve noticed. When I can successfully keep the emotion below the neck while observing it without allowing associated programs to be triggered, occasionally I have experienced a current of joy descending from the top of my head after the emotion has disappeared. The transition from the emotion to this cool joy happened quite suddenly, as though a switch had been thrown. This is something that has happened only very rarely.

It is equally rare with me and it is noticable, but I never noticed if the origin seemed to be top-down or not. Seems like the positive feelings are more radiant within the upper body somewhere, but my recollection is a bit vague.

It seems to me that keeping the emotions below the neck helps to keep the head cool – literally ‘keeping a cool head’ – while allowing them to rise above the neck leads to impulsive emotionally driven behaviour.

I would agree with that.

For years I thought that one should experience emotions with the whole body (including the head), and that if one did not allow them into the head, that was repression.

I used to think the same.

However, especially in the past weeks of what we might call the general attack, I noticed this phenomenon of the emotions as a cloud or fog arising in the torso that then ‘invades’ the head if I am not vigilant. Keeping emotions below the neck is, I think, the first step in observing and transforming the emotion.

I agree whole heartedly. I am not an expert at this by any means, so this is just fwiw.

 

[Marcus-Aurelius]

Re: Emotions and the head

I’d like to share some observations on working with emotions, and invite feedback and comments to check that I’m on the right track.
...
I’ve noticed that emotions arise in the torso, in the area between the navel and the chest.

That sounds like the same for me, when I'm able to notice.

Same for me. My heart beats quicker, my breath is short especially when it's a negative emotion.

However, there is another pathway I’ve noticed. When I can successfully keep the emotion below the neck while observing it without allowing associated programs to be triggered, occasionally I have experienced a current of joy descending from the top of my head after the emotion has disappeared. The transition from the emotion to this cool joy happened quite suddenly, as though a switch had been thrown. This is something that has happened only very rarely.

It is equally rare with me and it is noticable, but I never noticed if the origin seemed to be top-down or not. Seems like the positive feelings are more radiant within the upper body somewhere, but my recollection is a bit vague.
[/quote]
In my case, it seems to begin in my lower back like a needle sting, and expands in the entire body.

 

[mada85]

Re: Emotions and the head

Hi Endymion, that cool headed joyous experience sounds like a succeful transmutation, by what i have read. Myself am not quite observantly available to be able to catch them before they go beyond neck. I am interested to hear what kind of situations you where in when you were able to catch it, like in solitude or social, pensive or interactive. I hope you get good feedback here.

The couple of experiences with a descent of cool joy happened when I was alone and able to maintain my observation more or less without interruption. I was thinking about something and had a strong emotional reaction. In social situations I find it very difficult to pay attention to what is happening and to remember to observe inwardly without allowing programs to be triggered. I can only manage it for very short periods of time, but at least it’s a start!

Btw, what is that picture you have for avatar? looks intriguing

It’s from a painting by the 19th century British artist, George Frederick Watts.

However, especially in the past weeks of what we might call the general attack, I noticed this phenomenon of the emotions as a cloud or fog arising in the torso that then ‘invades’ the head if I am not vigilant. Keeping emotions below the neck is, I think, the first step in observing and transforming the emotion.

I agree whole heartedly. I am not an expert at this by any means, so this is just fwiw.

Bud, thanks for taking the time to reply. Like you, I’m no expert in this, so I guess continued careful observation is the way to go.

In my case, it seems to begin in my lower back like a needle sting, and expands in the entire body.

Fascinating. It would be very interesting to know what are the reasons for the different ‘point of origin’ of the new sensation.

 

[Leo40]

Re: Emotions and the head

When trying to observe emotions and remain detached, it is important to initially create
some delay because in a "normal" brain the cortex is bypassed by the "emotion signal".
Usually it is suggested to take a deep breath before responding; this allows the cortex to
"catch-up". This requires practise. Different people may discover other techniques.
The perceived location of the origin or where in the body specific emotions are felt depends
on the specific emotion. If this is helpful for the work I don't know. imo the physical symptom
is the result of the emotion, i.e. weak knees, upset stomach etc.
my 2 cents.

 

[Smallwood]

Re: Emotions and the head

I don't know if my experience has any bearing at all to this thread. Atleast it is under the subject of emotions so I'll share it for what it's worth.

For many years I've experienced odd sensations in my body, like feeling of being pulled in different directions. In this thread I talked about a sensation of a finger in my head that appeared sometime after my traumatic experiences at school. I can also feel the spot in my head from where my negative introject "talks", it is on the right side of my brain a little above the eye-level. Based on some reading, I'm now thinking that these occur because I can't verbalize/understand what my feelings are and that's why they manifest in so strange ways. Atleast it makes sense to think that after some traumatic mind-games with a psychopath I developed a sensation of a finger distracting my brain (my thought processes).

 

[Joe]

Re: See my Devil

Hi forge,

I just like to write, Chin up!! I have gone through similar battles in the last weeks.


I must admit, that I think that some battles will never be over, especially not the fights with our predator. IMO our chance is through networking, the EE program to recognise the predator earlier and earlier, that means to strengthen our senses to see, smell, hear and feel.

Hi, Gawan:
There is a lot about fighting in this tread. Remember the quote: "what you resist will persist", or in other words,
when you fight something you give away your energy. Knowing a program and not reacting deprives it of energy and
over time it will weaken.
my 2 cents

Hi Leo, I think what Gawan was saying here was that we have to "fight" to not react to programs.

 

[Pierre]

Emotions and self-observation

I've recently started to discover some Work related elements that were totally new to me thought they can seem quite obvious. Here's a description of those latest developments. If you suffer from a dead emotional center, you're not alone! :)

For years I had been self-observing, but I was only observing the observable. For years I thought I had managed to not be slave of my emotions but all I was doing was denying them, using them as fuel for emotional thinking (paranoia, fantasies, unrealistic theories...)

Emotions were repressed for at least two reasons. First, because of education: "only girls cry", "stop your tantrum", "you've no reason to be sad", "if you don't stop crying I'll slap you, so you've a good reason to cry"... Second, some childhood events were so traumatizing that fully experiencing them could have made me literally insane. So I learnt to repress, normalize, dissociate, deny, intellectualize emotions to a point where they became totally invisible (and all the more nefarious and damaging).

So during self-observation I could see the intellectual byproducts and consequences of emotions, I could see what triggered them, I could see the connection with various childhood traumas and events, I could also intellectually describe them, but something was missing.

Recently, I decided to discover them, face them, acknowledge them, live them. For that I used two methods. First, if I had an interaction with someone that generated negative emotions I tried to share what I was feeling (despite the overwhelming fear due to the unconscious reenactment of the child/narcissic parent interaction, so here you need really understanding people). Second when I was alone and perceived this slight malaise, I would ask myself, "what do you feel?" I would try to find the emotions, connect to it, and express it.

When I first tried to connect to these emotions, which were a totally new thing, a totally new world, it would manifest just as "something slightly off", "a subtle change", "a vague uneasiness" , then the predator mind would start saying "there's nothing", it's not important", "here is the logical explanation"... So in the beginning it was really difficult to know when a negative emotion was there.

But in such situation I was trying not to listen to the predator, and to see this unknown thing, sinking my attention in my tummy, allowing this thing to go out, expressing it spontaneously without filtering or censorhip and it would go out! Well it's not very nice or elaborate. It just like a child expressing himself in a very raw but very genuine manner: "I feel bad / betrayed / useless / angry / sad / ... or whatever combination of emotions.

I had read about connecting to the inner child years ago but the intellectual wall, the fear of suffering, the fear of doing what was forbidden, the fear of not being loved anymore, the fear of being scolded or punished, the belief he didn't exist, the belief that there were no more negative emotions (!) were probably too strong.

When I allowed the inner child to express himself it would be usually enough for him to calm down, the emotions and their intellectual byproducts would just automagically disappear.

Once I knew these emotions, I could start really avoiding to be slave of them. It's like this game where you're listening to a song, when hearing the first notes you've to guess what song it is and the music stop. But at least in my case I had first to know intellectually and emotionally the whole song to be able to really tame it and not deny it.

Another consequence is that when your negative emotions are allowed to be expressed or acknowledged the positive ones start to emerge. And such long forgotten emotions like joy, enthusiasm, lightness, playfulness reappear. And you don't have to stop this kind of emotions!

Well I won't whistle past the grave since I'm just at beginning of this process but I wanted to share this recent discovery that might helpful. It might sound very simple, in particular to female members who have this wonderful gift: an active emotional center.

To tame my emotions, I have to know them, to know them I have first to allow them to live / be expressed. To self-observe emotions, I must first have observable emotions. For years, I have missed this intermediate step trying to tame something I didn't know, trying to observe something that was invisible.

 

[Aiming]

Re: Emotions and self-observation

Thank you very much for sharing this very valuable insight, Belibaste, and congratulations for this new learning step! :)

Trying to observe one's emotions when most of them have been and are still being repressed, denied, intelllectualized and what not, is something I've also come across.
I've been observing myself just the way you were describing here, and still do so.
I had this thought that how can I observe myself properly if there's so much in my machine that's broken, especially a simple thing such as experiencing emotions in their pure state?
I sensed there was something I was missing, but also, I kept forgetting about it and kept going with it nonetheless.

So your sharing of your discoveries is really helpful. It yet again shows the utmost importance of first healing the machine, restoring its natural mechanisms without the pathological distortions, in order to have proper material to observe and thus learn from.

Your describing of how you're going about to experience emotions as they are sounds very useful - I'll try to do likewise.
Again, thanks for sharing!