DianaRose, if I may I would like to share with one thing, maybe it could help. When I was teenager I readed a lot of things and was a little crazy about searching of sense in my live. I take an endless simulation in my mind about my future, about being good or evil and things above that definition and other things. In that time I concluded that only thing that got any meaning is being good for others. We could die in suffer in every minute of our live. We could suffer endless time if our soul could go to place like hell. We could make a lot of money, we could harm each other and make people brake and suffer but there isn't any value in it. Being evil meaning that you must be the best otherwise there would be someone else who will beat you, maybe not in this live but in live of your soul or in other life. From the other hand, the world could be ruled by evil and by good things you go to hell and suffer. That could make you to be evil and fight with them in this way, but in the end there would be someone who could beat you. Only one thing could make sens - being yourself and trying to help others in the best way that we could do this by our small knowledge. If there isn't any meaning behind our life, like I previously said the being evil or depressed isn't any solution. If there is some meaning in our life, we should try to be good, this is only way to escape. In my simulation it's obvious that barely for shure I will not solve the problem of escaping from this "world" in my life. I will not know the reason for this world being so stupid and illogical but even if my life would be endless suffer, the only hope is in the "good deeds". Maybe my logic is false, but maybe I could help you a little, or someone else Oh, and sorry for my english skills, I hope that you can understand me