Aragorn said:
While reading the book I had a similar feeling as you described, about how reading this stuff might 'draw attention' or 'attract the alien dudes'. But thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that it's better to have as much knowledge on the subject as possible, as in 'knowledge protects'. Maybe we have a built in alarm system what comes to alien beings, it's probably normal and healthy to fear these things. It's interesting how the subject is very alluring and at the same time frightening. Or maybe this fear is by design, so that we wouldn't educate our selves about the matter. I think that because of a subconscious fear, many people rather choose to ridicule the subject than investigate it. Well, I'm afraid I'm just speculating...
Well, I've had similar thoughts like you. To me, it reads like something of an in-built fear reaction by design, which is coupled with a triggering of other debilitating programs; and at the same time I also think that fearing these things is a healthy and adequate reaction. When I first noticed those feelings I could simply 'let them be', watch them coming up (similar to what Menrva describes) but over time other programs kicked in, too, like the negative introject, which is especially notable because in the recent week I'd been making considerable progress in disengaging myself from that life-long internal feeding dynamic. As well as an old paranoia program of mine, telling me for being on the way that I am I'll experience torture from 'agents', and the fear of going crazy. So these feelings and programs have culminated in a general sense of dread, fear, depression, lethargy, isolation. I couldn't do anything today apart from to keep reading Karla's book sometimes - other times I was walking around the house not knowing what to do; other times seeking the company of my parents for the hope of getting back a sense of normality, only to find it wasn't possible.
Aragorn said:
Another thing I've been thinking is that surely everyone on this planet have been affected by alien/hyperdimensional manipulations - either directly or indirectly. So, the infringement has already happened - we just haven't been aware of it - and the best thing we can do is to know our enemy as thoroughly as we possibly can.
I completely agree. Increasing one's knowledge about it is essential and of course that would be a threat to them: us knowing, so it does make sense if there's an automatic 'global' program trying to make people retreat in fear, or ridicule, as you said.
Aragorn said:
But what you describe does sound a little bit alarming. Could/would you tell more about this creature that you saw? What about these 'things' that you're seeing around you (does this happen in the day time too?), what do they look like?
I called it 'creature' because even though it looked like a small human being, I sensed that it wasn't. It had colorful clothing, I only distinctly remember yellow and its cold stare at me. When seeing it I was just coming out of the kind of sleep I've experienced a few times already: it's as if I've been drugged up by something outside of me and it needed a considerable amount of struggle to make myself wake up and open my eyes. The drugged up feeling remained all day yesterday. And during that nap I had a dream about some relationship drama, but it felt like it was a movie and upon waking my first impression was that it was a 'screen dream', intended to distract me from something. When evening approached I was delaying to go to sleep, out of fear. When I went to bed and fell asleep (at around 2am) I awoke only about three hours later from another dream. I only awoke because while being in the dream I suddenly noticed red flags about the dream story and again had the thought it was a screen dream: I was with my therapist, who instructed (?) me on something and then said that as a reward we'd later in the day play a game in which we are actors and by this we'll know how actors feel and what they do. I was glad about this, because it really interested me to know about this profession from the inside. She had also been doing something to my body (don't remember what) and then I noticed she had forgotten about the left foot and asked her about it. Then a young good-looking man appeared beside me (which upon waking up felt like a deliberate attempt at feeding my ego) and he then put his fingers on my forehead and kind of drew a line with his fingers going down my face. I then noticed I was in fact lying on my own bed, which was the red flag that woke me up and when waking up I could still feel and with inner sight see that man beside me for a few seconds.
As for the 'things' I've been seeing: I saw several forms/shapes of 'energy' in the room (daylight), moving about or just being there and the room was full of 'activity'. I also saw something like those flashes of light only that it looked like a single streak of lightning in my room. As others have reported in the thread of the latest session, I've normally been seeing shadows moving out of the corner of my eyes or flashes of light. This time I saw something that looked like a furry animal, resembling a dog, moving about; and I saw it as real and 3D and colorful as in real life. Also the human looking creature looked as real as 3D, which is new, because normally if I see things it's shadows or human shapes. Seeing these things didn't elicit fear, I only commented to myself something like 'Oh, it's pretty crowded here'. All in all I had the impression that by reading about this topic my perception has been broadening. I had the distinct sense that I was seeing something of another density. The seeing itself wasn't scary, but the following implications were: I grokked (on a deeper level than before) that those critters are indeed around us and even close to us and suddenly it made lots of sense how 4d manipulation is the easiest thing for them to do. I felt like by accepting this I was beginning to step out of my 'protected bubble', and the reality of the situation hit me hard. I thought that if someone is really awake it wouldn't even be possible for that person to waste their time with pointless activities, because seeing reality just naturally results in doing what's neccessary to do.
So maybe my emotional state is in essence an assimilation of a new perspective? On the other hand I do wonder whether I have experienced abductions which is why the topic is affecting me so much or whether I simply have an overactive imagination, which is creating those 'perceptions'. And then again I think that these reactions do resemble those of working through an internal denial mechanism.
Aragorn said:
This maybe redundant, but keeping your diet clean and doing something physical once in a while, like taking a walk or doing some gardening, might give you some relief. Keep us posted how you're doing.
I think it's never redundant to remind each other of the basic steps of how to take care of oneself, so thanks. :) I've been eating lots of meat recently and hardly any carbohydrates. But I think I should go for a run tomorrow, that's always been helping. And it's relieving already to talk about it, I don't feel so alone and isolated anymore.
I find this strange. That's the first time I'm encountering an emotional reaction to a topic I'm reading about. 