Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program
- Thread starter Laura
- Start date
Sonrisa
Jedi
Thank you, everyone, for your support, suggestions, and insights! I have been read again the links in Cassiopedia about General Law, Attack, and Petty Tyrants, as well as all the other suggestions given to me. I have clearly come to the attention of the General Law. It helps so much just to know that I'm not alone, and have cosmic and forum member support! I'm also going to check out the DLPA suggested by Bud, and try eating avocado and nuts, as suggested by Rx. Thank Anything that helps! I feel a lot less freaked out today - your support feels like a warm blanket surrounding me. Thank you!!!!! 
Following other suggestions by forum members, and feeling somewhat bolstered, I did write down a chronology, gathered email and other documentary evidence, etc. I do put on my "suit of armor" when I go into work. I have avoided talking to her without at least one other person present.
I will start doing more Pipe breathing, as well as continuing the POTS. I was, right before this attack, getting to the point that a lot of things that I "knew," but hadn't connected together, finally "clicked." I was finally getting to the point where I was able to start putting together all the pieces of knowledge and facts that I had, and lots of "light bulbs" had been going on, finally. Not happy realizations, quite the opposite, but important ones. And I have been getting very good ideas related to issues I've been looking for solutions to for a long time. The solutions aren't there yet, but at least it feels like my brain is working lots better than it used to.
I have cleaned up my diet pretty thoroughly, over the last 2 years, too.
I have been having dreams, repeating over and over, in various different ways, of going back to college. I already have two degrees, and am using them in my career .... In my dreams, I know that I already have these degrees, and a career, but I am going back to school to study what I SHOULD have studied the first time. I'm never sure, in the dream, exactly what the course work is, but it usually involves me moving to a different place, different country. And in real life, I realize that I definitely, absolutely, want to move out of the US. So does my husband. We just need to find a way to do it.
Thank you all, again, for your help, support, and suggestions.
Following other suggestions by forum members, and feeling somewhat bolstered, I did write down a chronology, gathered email and other documentary evidence, etc. I do put on my "suit of armor" when I go into work. I have avoided talking to her without at least one other person present.
I will start doing more Pipe breathing, as well as continuing the POTS. I was, right before this attack, getting to the point that a lot of things that I "knew," but hadn't connected together, finally "clicked." I was finally getting to the point where I was able to start putting together all the pieces of knowledge and facts that I had, and lots of "light bulbs" had been going on, finally. Not happy realizations, quite the opposite, but important ones. And I have been getting very good ideas related to issues I've been looking for solutions to for a long time. The solutions aren't there yet, but at least it feels like my brain is working lots better than it used to.
I have cleaned up my diet pretty thoroughly, over the last 2 years, too.
I have been having dreams, repeating over and over, in various different ways, of going back to college. I already have two degrees, and am using them in my career .... In my dreams, I know that I already have these degrees, and a career, but I am going back to school to study what I SHOULD have studied the first time. I'm never sure, in the dream, exactly what the course work is, but it usually involves me moving to a different place, different country. And in real life, I realize that I definitely, absolutely, want to move out of the US. So does my husband. We just need to find a way to do it.
Thank you all, again, for your help, support, and suggestions.
Kila said:
I think it's okay. If you feel comfortable proceeding this way it's fine.
Since the beginning, I have been doing round breathing while lying down because if I sit up too long I get pain in the legs and the back. I also find easier to be "in the Ba-Ha breathing" if lying down.
G
Gertrudes
Guest
An update on EE,
Lately I feel that I am going a lot deeper into the meditation. It is strange for I feel very dizzy, almost as if being drunk. My head sometimes feels as if barely being able to stand on top of my shoulders.
Over this last week's sessions there was also a sensation hard to describe: there seemed to be a lot of things going on inside my head, I just couldn't see or understand what they were. It felt like many images relating to events were unfolding inside my head or behind my eyes, if that makes any sense, but I just couldn't see anything, as if I had a veil between my consciousness and whatever was going on. I was also extremely dizzy, and felt that I was going to pass out at any moment. It is very unlike me because I rarely, if ever, feel dizzy.
On the other hand, the mental chatter seems to have completely disappeared, at least lately. As soon as EE starts, my mind seems to enter a different frequency somehow. I have also been feeling a lot of pressure in my forehead during the program, which now seems to be less constrictive. In other words, before, the pressure in my forehead would often turn into mild pain, now, it seems to be a different type of pressure, less uncomfortable at least.
I agree with Mixtli and Laura forge, what you have described was quite amazing. I wonder what more there is to come :)
Lately I feel that I am going a lot deeper into the meditation. It is strange for I feel very dizzy, almost as if being drunk. My head sometimes feels as if barely being able to stand on top of my shoulders.
Over this last week's sessions there was also a sensation hard to describe: there seemed to be a lot of things going on inside my head, I just couldn't see or understand what they were. It felt like many images relating to events were unfolding inside my head or behind my eyes, if that makes any sense, but I just couldn't see anything, as if I had a veil between my consciousness and whatever was going on. I was also extremely dizzy, and felt that I was going to pass out at any moment. It is very unlike me because I rarely, if ever, feel dizzy.
On the other hand, the mental chatter seems to have completely disappeared, at least lately. As soon as EE starts, my mind seems to enter a different frequency somehow. I have also been feeling a lot of pressure in my forehead during the program, which now seems to be less constrictive. In other words, before, the pressure in my forehead would often turn into mild pain, now, it seems to be a different type of pressure, less uncomfortable at least.
forge said:
I agree with Mixtli and Laura forge, what you have described was quite amazing. I wonder what more there is to come :)
G
Gertrudes
Guest
Very interesting RedFox, thank you for pointing that out.
I do remember having read it, particularly the part of your forehead expanding. I hadn't made the connection. It does sound quite similar, and in fact, I almost added in my previous post that my forehead felt as if it had expanded. In my case, there were no visual images, I felt that I wanted to see whatever was going on, but couldn't.
Similar to what you've described, as I was writting that post and remembering the sensation, there was a mild sensation of vertigo and dizziness again
I do remember having read it, particularly the part of your forehead expanding. I hadn't made the connection. It does sound quite similar, and in fact, I almost added in my previous post that my forehead felt as if it had expanded. In my case, there were no visual images, I felt that I wanted to see whatever was going on, but couldn't.
Similar to what you've described, as I was writting that post and remembering the sensation, there was a mild sensation of vertigo and dizziness again
Okay thanks I'll proceed that way then. Also has anyone experienced tenderness or soreness in their diaphragm during or after the breathing. It seems like my diaphragm gets really tired during the pipe breathing. I don't experience this when I'm jogging or anything just when I'm doing the breathing.
Also, I can't keep my mind still at all ... it is really frustrating. Mostly I think about stuff I've been reading lately, here on the forum or in the Wave.
Even during the prayer sequence I have to constantly refocus my attention.
sigh...
Also, I can't keep my mind still at all ... it is really frustrating. Mostly I think about stuff I've been reading lately, here on the forum or in the Wave.
Even during the prayer sequence I have to constantly refocus my attention.
sigh...
truth seeker
The Living Force
Hey Kila,
Glad to see you back. The throat issue seems to be one possible common "symptom" that occurs when starting EE. Try and be patient with yourself. You may want to reduce the intensity of the breaths you take. I think you mentioned that you smoked in another post. I find the pipe breathing is very similar to what we do when smoking/singing on both the inhaling and exhaling.
Glad to see you back. The throat issue seems to be one possible common "symptom" that occurs when starting EE. Try and be patient with yourself. You may want to reduce the intensity of the breaths you take. I think you mentioned that you smoked in another post. I find the pipe breathing is very similar to what we do when smoking/singing on both the inhaling and exhaling.
mcb
The Living Force
Thank you Laura. That is encouraging. I have been through the mediation a number of times now, although this is the first time I have posted to this topic, and I have "zoned" every time but the first. I still remember the second time fairly clearly. There was nothing unusual until POTS, and then I "left" after a few phrases and "returned" at the very end, with no recollection of anything in between. Normally I can tell if I have fallen asleep from the way I feel when I wake up, and it wasn't anything like that. At the time it seemed as though I had somehow switched off at the beginning of POTS and then switched back on at the end. I heard the first few phrases followed by the last few phrases, and I was aware only of a gap in between.Laura said:
The next time I "left" sometime during round breathing and returned at the very end of the recording, after POTS. I have to be listening on some level or I wouldn't know when it ended. Now I am starting to become conscious of the transition into this other state, but I still don't bring anything back, and I am not the slightest bit drowsy when I return.
The way I started EE was a little unusual. I had ordered the discs and waited for them to arrive while I dealt with other issues. When they did arrive and I was ready to start, I received a phone call from my doctor that I was at risk of dropping dead from blood clots in my lungs and that I should go to the hospital. I was treated for cancer several years ago and as part of the follow-up I had several CT scans to ensure that there was no recurrence. All of the follow-up tests were negative for any sign of cancer, but the final one happened to expose a bilateral pulmonary embolism (PE). So I copied the EE CDs to my iPod and went to the hospital, where I discovered that my Meditation CD didn't have the meditation on it, but was the same as the other CD. The hospital visit was otherwise uneventful. They put me on anticoagulants to begin dissolving the clots and sent me home after 1 day.
So I can say that I had some difficulty getting started with EE. :) I think it is interesting that one of the major symptoms of a PE is "difficulty breathing." (The other major symptoms are chest pains and sudden death.) I am not having any symptoms, but I can say that my early encounters with EE have indeed been "life changing," and it has been pretty dramatic too.
ignis.intimus
Jedi Council Member
I did EE tonight, it's been a couple of months since I did the EE program proper although I do focus a lot on my breathing throughout the day. I was hoping that after seeing a Rolfer again and having made dietary changes it would be easier, but it wasn't really. I still dissociate a lot during it and find the breathing to be strenuous and exhausting. Shortly after the beginning of the round breathing I had to stop, as I was flooded with extremely uncomfortable sensations. Violent images from my childhood popped up, and left me feeling enraged, and then once that passed, physically ill. I was able to re-join at the end to participate in the prayer and relaxation, which helped.
I think I have been using these uncomfortable sensations as an excuse to avoid the program, but I think what I need to do instead is do it anyway, and skip the round breathing portion, at least for now. These feelings of rage seem very attached to my main physical complaint of tension and pain in my back, right in between my shoulders. Hopefully the rest of the program will help alleviate this to the point I can participate fully. In the meantime, I think I will go see a Rolfer who specializes in spinal manipulation and a Hakomi therapist. Hakomi comes highly recommended from the Rolfing Institute for individuals that still have chronic pain following the standard 10-series. I am always going to mediate and the POTS every night, which is something I have not been doing.
On the plus side, I no longer have abdominal pain when breathing and feel that my belly expansion is quite good.
I think I have been using these uncomfortable sensations as an excuse to avoid the program, but I think what I need to do instead is do it anyway, and skip the round breathing portion, at least for now. These feelings of rage seem very attached to my main physical complaint of tension and pain in my back, right in between my shoulders. Hopefully the rest of the program will help alleviate this to the point I can participate fully. In the meantime, I think I will go see a Rolfer who specializes in spinal manipulation and a Hakomi therapist. Hakomi comes highly recommended from the Rolfing Institute for individuals that still have chronic pain following the standard 10-series. I am always going to mediate and the POTS every night, which is something I have not been doing.
On the plus side, I no longer have abdominal pain when breathing and feel that my belly expansion is quite good.
Hi Aaron
I think skipping the round breathing part is a good idea. This is what I have been doing for the last few months, followed by reintroducing the round breathing slowly.
I went through a period of dissociating during all parts of the program....my mind would wonder, but I would continue to breathe. I think its important not to worry or be harsh on the self if this happens, just continue to breathe. The same goes for this happening during the POTS, what counts in the end is not giving up and persisting...and being gentle on yourself when you catch yourself dissociating into something else.
Looking back at that part (as it seems to be slowly fading now) I think its just all that dissociative behaviour being gently cleaned away. It seems that as stuff gets cleansed, it plays out in some way.
Doing the POTS every night has helped me the most, so I'm glad your going to be doing that. You could even just try sticking with that for a month and not do the rest of the program to see how things go. This is what I did.
Some other considerations perhaps......with that much tension you are probably going to be burning up a lot of resources (i.e. things like magnesium, serotonin, adrenaline etc). Have you checked out the UltraMind Quiz to see what you may be lacking?
I use to take magnesium baths (now I just use magnesium oil) to help relax my muscles before doing the program. Between that and the warm up exercises I've found I have a lot less tension when breathing.
If you are suffering fatigue along with the tension and chronic pain, you can check out Treating and Beating Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, by Rodger H., Dr. Murphree.
Aaron said:
I think skipping the round breathing part is a good idea. This is what I have been doing for the last few months, followed by reintroducing the round breathing slowly.
I went through a period of dissociating during all parts of the program....my mind would wonder, but I would continue to breathe. I think its important not to worry or be harsh on the self if this happens, just continue to breathe. The same goes for this happening during the POTS, what counts in the end is not giving up and persisting...and being gentle on yourself when you catch yourself dissociating into something else.
Looking back at that part (as it seems to be slowly fading now) I think its just all that dissociative behaviour being gently cleaned away. It seems that as stuff gets cleansed, it plays out in some way.
Doing the POTS every night has helped me the most, so I'm glad your going to be doing that. You could even just try sticking with that for a month and not do the rest of the program to see how things go. This is what I did.
Some other considerations perhaps......with that much tension you are probably going to be burning up a lot of resources (i.e. things like magnesium, serotonin, adrenaline etc). Have you checked out the UltraMind Quiz to see what you may be lacking?
I use to take magnesium baths (now I just use magnesium oil) to help relax my muscles before doing the program. Between that and the warm up exercises I've found I have a lot less tension when breathing.
If you are suffering fatigue along with the tension and chronic pain, you can check out Treating and Beating Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, by Rodger H., Dr. Murphree.
Mrs.Tigersoap
The Living Force
Aaron said:
Hi Aaron,
This is probably a good idea. The round breathing gets a bit easier with a little practice. On my first times doing it, I used to think I was going to faint! I used to be asthmatic and it was really a challenge. I was in fact forcing it.
Also, some of us are doing the program lying down because, among other things, the back may hurt during the round breathing. Lying down allows to concentrate on the program instead of being 'distracted' by the pain.
FWIW
Sonrisa said:
Last year had been a painful year for me, as I was forced to face a quite lot of people at office, perception management devotee's( some are outright psychopaths) and corporate mind game players , including my own boss. I used to come home exhausted , angry , frustrated with constant fear of consequences, which aggravated existing depression from family situation. I was able to expose the Lies , which gave demotion to the psychopath gang and at the same time , I got negative marks from the episode, which may potentially cost my Job during the end of the year. In my big pharma corporate environment , Gaming is what matters. Management expects to suggest the solution for each problem, we tell them. If one doesn't suggest solution for the problem for any reason, it becomes a negative remark. Unfortunately , psychopaths creates a world , which is extremely painful to fix. My predator used this situation of for tis uses like disassociation and draining .
At one point, I couldn't imagine that there is a hope. Yes there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang on, Use Breathing .
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