Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[celtic]

For me the big issue is not zoning out before I finish the pipe breathing and then the POTS.

I feel the same way I am kind of disappointed that I zone out and lost focus. But I finish the meditation
and it is the best and amazing feeling I ever had.

 

[gurjf]

The meditation is really working for me but for some reason I just can't stop laughing I feel so happy
and relaxed.

I know what you mean!!!! :) That is what happened to me the first time!!!! ;)

 

[tree]

Hi Rx,

I just finished the EE for the night and felt compelled to read a little here before bed. I had the same thing happen with the round breathing about 6 months ago. I felt extremely uncomfortable... somewhat fidgity and uncomfortable in my skin to the point where I couldn't finish the program that night. I changed my location for the next session and made sure to do a little extra stretching. That made a huge difference. I moved from a soft cushiony chair sitting facing south to a soft comfy couch facing west, but now I actually recline on the couch with a huge cushion under my knees so my feet are elevated. As Goldilocks would say...that is "just right" for me (sorry...I have a 3 year old). I think somewhere back in this thread (don't have energy to search for it) there was discussion of the location in the room and the direction you face to meditate or sleep. In theory, there are ley lines and all kinds of energetic "stuff" that can vary from spot to spot in one room, so maybe see if another spot feels better. Also, if I am feeling unusually stressed or have sore muscles, I'll take some magnesium supplements a half hour before starting the EE.

Oh, and interestingly enough, I had the same mindset of "forging through discomfort", which is what I usually do. But then I just didn't and simply made the effort to see what was missing or what variables could be changed. I hope that is helpful.

Tree

 

[Ollie]

During the last week, whilst doing the EE Breathing Meditation programme of three stage breathing and PotS, and particularly whilst doing PotS listening to Laura’s voice, I have experienced a heavy weight and/or constriction developing around my waist/midriff. This may even be a sign of progress in clearing emotions, I don’t know. And, tears, and micro-zoning outs, are still winning over yawns.

Still dreaming, unfortunately I have less than good recall of them! Many of them seem to deal with preparing and organising things. One that stood out concerned me getting out of my car at an accident, the car, however didn’t stay still it rolled off down the road with me running after it. The car headed towards a roundabout where my car was about to crash with a car coming around the roundabout, driven by an old woman who became indignant when she saw my car coming towards her, so she softly nudged it off into a side road where I was able to catch up with the car. I am unsure of the significance of this dream. Although it may have something to do with what follows.

Whilst having a FIR blanket sauna session on Thursday morning I became aware of a strong and persistent itch on my right shin, and accompanied with this a repetition of a mild panic attack about suffocating (I’d had a previous one of these whilst in bed on a previous night). Possibly these mild panic attacks are associated with something earlier in life, out of reach of conscious memory, or of a past life.

Looking up shin, for possible metaphysical causes, the following arose:

Shin(s) – Breaking down ideals. Shins represent the standards in life.

Not quite sure what to make of that.

LEG PAIN
PHYSICAL BLOCK
… lower leg …
EMOTIONAL BLOCK
…
On the other hand, if the leg is especially painful in a resting position, your body is telling you that you do not allow enough time to recharge yourself so that you are better prepared to embark on a journey towards a new destination.
MENTAL BLOCK
…
If pain is experienced only while resting, you want to take steps prematurely and do too much. Your body is telling you that you will not be judged as lazy or unproductive if you rest.

Well, for me, this seems as if it is as big a programme as the ‘‘burning’ issue’ I spoke of last week; of letting go of the deep, deep protection my inner-self has put in place, through early childhood trauma, by dissociating all of my emotions from me. Perhaps the two are interconnected, or related. Resting is a major issue for me to put into practice.

I’ve also noticed that I appear to be having problems swallowing supplements, more so recently.

EMOTIONAL BLOCK
…
Pain upon swallowing is the body’s way of asking you outright, ”What person or situation can’t you swallow?“ Perhaps there is some specific emotional trauma that you are having difficulty in getting past. …

Well that all makes sense, it’s the “burning issue” again, ‘the specific emotional trauma that [I’m] having difficulty in getting past.’

However, I’m sure that my Higher Self, or Divine Cosmic Mind, is operating at a pace that is keeping me intact: it’s a matter of operating with trust, I guess.

… For I realize today that it is a mortal sin to violate the great laws of nature. We should not hurry, we should not be impatient, but we should confidently obey the eternal rhythm.

On the conscious level, my job is ‘simple’; I just need to ‘put into practice’ the act of re-charging my-self, putting a fresh charge in my ‘vessel’, to embark on that journey of finally overcoming the dis-associated emotional trauma. That’s the big challenge now for me.

Once again, patience and continual perseverance are the order of the day – resting to re-charge my-self, putting a fresh charge in - possibly for ‘letting go’ of the letting go programmed armouring, and thus associating into my emotions (‘embarking on a journey towards a new destination’?).

How to re-charge my-self that is the question I need to answer, and to then DO.

 

[Nienna]

For me the big issue is not zoning out before I finish the pipe breathing and then the POTS.

I feel the same way I am kind of disappointed that I zone out and lost focus. But I finish the meditation
and it is the best and amazing feeling I ever had.

I don't know if you have read what Laura has written about zoning out, but this is something that is a "good" thing. She has found that it is a way of communicating to the higher self and we should not be trying to stop it.

It may be irritating, but I have found that after a period of time, the zoning out has lessened.

Just give yourselves time to process these things in a natural way. Don't try to force anything, even NOT zoning out. Let it all happen naturally.

 

[no-mans-land]

I just want to give a short update about the progress with the EE.

During the last weeks it feels that I am recollect deep buried emotions. Yes, I feel "hungry for emotions" because there are so strong and swept over me out of the blue caused by small triggers like a scene, a thought or a picture. It is weird because it feels "good" even it is deep sadness. Sometimes it feels like a fire is burning behind my chest, a feeling that I normally only got in dreams. I hope that I can experience more of this, because it feels like, that something is coming back to me and it feels so damn good.

On the practical side, the itching is almost gone, but therefore another thing replaced it and this one prevents me from finishing the POTS too. Every time I come to the meditation part, my legs become restless and it gets worse and worse until I have to move my muscles and then the meditation is over because this feeling wouldn't go away until I stop the meditation. Just curious. Lets see what comes next. :P

 

[RedFox]

One that stood out concerned me getting out of my car at an accident, the car, however didn’t stay still it rolled off down the road with me running after it. The car headed towards a roundabout where my car was about to crash with a car coming around the roundabout, driven by an old woman who became indignant when she saw my car coming towards her, so she softly nudged it off into a side road where I was able to catch up with the car. I am unsure of the significance of this dream. Although it may have something to do with what follows.

My interpretation of the dream is that (the car being the equivalent of the horse and carrage) it could be two things.
Without a driver and due the the 'gravity' of the situation, your emotions will run away from you until they crash/cause damage to others. Usually resulting in indignation from others or yourself?
Alternatively, stepping out of yourself to observe (after having 'crashed' emotionally/physically)...perhaps all you can do is observe (with some horror) what happens.....perhaps you need to see it before you can control it?
Things to note are the emotions this brought up in you...and your interpretation of 'what would happen if your emotions ran away from you'.....your interpretation of what damage would be caused was inconsistent with what actually happened....a soft landing.
It seems to me that these false beliefs about the self are tied to the chatter in our heads.....the chatter and possible over thinking of things seems to be part of the justification of the false belief. Observation or these things....especially that feelings won't bring about major crashes....seems to be the best way to let go of the beliefs and allow the emotions to just be. The false beliefs about self seem to be the blocks to the emotions. fwiw


I completely lost track of what day it was last night and forgot to do the program (although I did pipe breathing and the POTS as usual before sleep)....I only realised this when I woke up. :O
My energy levels are about zero at the moment....fighting very hard to stop my 'poor me' from coming out to feed. Feels a bit like I'm falling appart mentally and physically at the moment.

*edit*

If no dietary changes are made (and you're eating the standard poor diet of American culture at least) there's usually going to be some hell to pay. In my case, it was some form of stomach flu and also skin problems.

I wonder if that's what the problem is with me at the moment? My diet is gluten, dairy and sugar free.....perhaps this isn't enough anymore? I fear doing the Ultra Simple diet just because I loose weight so easily......mind you I get exhausted (and all my nasty programs come out to play) when I loose weight too.

 

[Gertrudes]

I wonder if that's what the problem is with me at the moment? My diet is gluten, dairy and sugar free.....perhaps this isn't enough anymore? I fear doing the Ultra Simple diet just because I loose weight so easily......mind you I get exhausted (and all my nasty programs come out to play) when I loose weight too.

Redfox, have you looked into your metabolic and thyroid performance? I don't know if this could be the case, but often loss and gain of weight are associated with an unbalance in those.

 

[Tina]

On the practical side, the itching is almost gone, but therefore another thing replaced it and this one prevents me from finishing the POTS too. Every time I come to the meditation part, my legs become restless and it gets worse and worse until I have to move my muscles and then the meditation is over because this feeling wouldn't go away until I stop the meditation. Just curious. Lets see what comes next. :P

This may or may not help in this instance, but I believe magnesium helps with restless legs. fwiw
Here's a thread about magnesium in our diet and heath section, in case you haven't seen it. http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=2354.0

 

[Windmill knight]

I haven't reported on my own progress for months, so here I go.

At the end of last year I felt my emotions very close to the surface so there was a bit of turmoil on a few occasions. However, since the beginning of this year I have been feeling very strong internally and with a very clear mind. If I get disturbed or carried away by a program or negative emotion, it lasts much less than it used to and I'm soon back on my feet. This strength has persisted in spite of the fact that my life is undergoing changes and there is a lot of uncertainty about my future - something that would have been a cause of constant worry in the past. There is also virtually no self-pity at all, which at some point used to be so common. All of this, I attribute to the EE.

I often finish the day too tired lately, for different reasons, so I have had less nights per week for the full program. Most days I have been doing three stage breathing and meditation only. However, things began to settle a little so I decided to "catch up" and last week I did 3 nights in a row of the full program. That brought the emotional cleansing back, as the third night I was in full tears by the end of the prayer. It happened very spontaneously, as if my body and not me decided to do some crying. I had time for the whole thing again yesterday and had the same result: crying, this time at the end of beatha. I had cried before in EE sessions for one thing or another, but this two times were different in that I had no idea what I was crying about! I just did. Or rather, if it could be put into words, I was crying "about everything". I kind of felt that at least in yesterday's case, that "everything" included not only the bad things but the good ones too. To cry spontaneously, without knowing why, is a first timer for me, I think.

I find these experiences to be very positive, purifying and empowering. In fact, during the day I still feel great and strong, with a solidity I didn't have before - most of the time anyway. Gurdjieff was right - nothing can be achieved without proper breathing. And lots can be achieved with it!

So... thank you Laura and Cs!

 

[Ollie]

One that stood out concerned me getting out of my car at an accident, the car, however didn’t stay still it rolled off down the road with me running after it. The car headed towards a roundabout where my car was about to crash with a car coming around the roundabout, driven by an old woman who became indignant when she saw my car coming towards her, so she softly nudged it off into a side road where I was able to catch up with the car. I am unsure of the significance of this dream. Although it may have something to do with what follows.

My interpretation of the dream is that (the car being the equivalent of the horse and carrage) it could be two things.
…

Thank you for those insights Redfox, that has enabled me to see what may be happening in the dream as a possible future activity.

In ISOTM, and part quoting and part paraphrasing, the driver is the mind; the horse is our emotions, sensations; and the carriage is the body. The mind must learn to control the emotions, to learn to drive the horse, to harness it to the carriage, to feed and groom it, and to keep the carriage in order … It is also noted that the emotions pull the body after them. The whole organisation is inevitably controlled from below – by accident, rather than the will of the master. And, work on the ‘connections’, the’ driver’s understanding’ which unites him to the master; on the ’reins’ which connect to the horse; and on the ‘shaft’ and the ‘harness’ which connect the horse with the carriage. Unfortunately, the ‘connections’ are not working. Ouspensky goes on to quote Gurdjieff as saying ‘the physical body works with the same substances of which the higher bodies are composed, only these substances are not crystallized in him, do not belong to him; …’

In the metaphor, the car represents, as you say, the equivalent of the horse and carriage. Paraphrasing Mouravieff, the coach (the car body) represents the physical body and the horse (the car engine) represents ‘sensations, feelings and passions’. And, the coachman (my-self as the driver) is the ensemble of intellectual faculties including reason; the person in the coach is the ‘master’ (taken as ‘’I’, consciousness and will’, and as in this case) is usually absent (as yet undeveloped within me). In Mouravieff’s rendition of the metaphor the carriage is off the road and rolling down.

I need to clarify that in the dream I saw an accident, rather than being involved in one, and by comparison with Mouravieff’s given metaphor, the car (carriage and horse) remains on the road rolling along, rather than leaving the road and rolling down. So interpreting the dream, I’m still on the right road yet the mind is disconnected from both the body and emotions (the latter is true, and the former probably by association with the root cause of the problem). An external ‘accident’, or influence (PotS and DCM) has acted as a shock to my system to initiate me to get outside of my-self (which I know I need to do), to run after the body and emotions, to catch up, to experience fully emotions in an associated way; to relive the pain and move the emotional pain back into the physical body; to understand (to take the positive learnings from the root cause of the problem): to integrate and crystallize.

However, I still need something to help me catch up with the car (body and emotions), which is where the old woman (who became indignant), (as ‘another coachman, this one is quite awake … helps the coach that is in distress)’, comes in as the force that nudges the body and emotions into a safe place for me to come together safely without damage occurring. The old woman is the form of energy needed to bring chaos into order. My interpretation is that the indignant old woman is ‘wisdom’, in the form of what Clarrissa Pinkola Estes calls the Wild Woman (Instinctive Nature) in Women Who Run With the Wolves.

… in the beginning of retrieving our relationship with her she can turn to smoke in an instant, by naming her we create for her a territory of thought and feeling within us. Then she will come, and if valued, she will stay.
[…]
We each receive from her a glowing cell which contains all the instincts and knowings needed for our lives.
[…]
She is the mystical voice who knows the past and our ancient history and keep it recorded for us …
[…]
…the same as a tree; there is no finality, no sudden completion, rather a grandeur of roots and branches, and with proper care, much flowering.

Alternatively, stepping out of yourself to observe … perhaps all you can do is observe (with some horror) what happens.....perhaps you need to see it before you can control it?

So yes, this, ‘see it before you can control it’ would fit my situation, dissociated from my emotions, devoid of ‘sensations, feelings and passions’; all I can do is watch them ‘on a movie screen’ (the car ‘moving before me’?) as it were, and I need to associate into them before I learn to understand (‘work on the connections’ and get them to work) and then control them.

Things to note are the emotions this brought up in you...

There were, are, none – totally dissociated.

]Without a driver and due the the 'gravity' of the situation, your emotions will run away from you until they crash/cause damage to others. Usually resulting in indignation from others or yourself?

and

and your interpretation of 'what would happen if your emotions ran away from you'.....your interpretation of what damage would be caused was inconsistent with what actually happened....a soft landing.
It seems to me that these false beliefs about the self are tied to the chatter in our heads.....the chatter and possible over thinking of things seems to be part of the justification of the false belief. Observation or these things....especially that feelings won't bring about major crashes....seems to be the best way to let go of the beliefs and allow the emotions to just be. The false beliefs about self seem to be the blocks to the emotions. Fwiw

This reminds me of a post by PepperFritz, incidentally one that I carry around with me:

Hi Trevrizent:

I hardly consider myself an “expert” in this area, and can only pass on the techniques that have “worked” for me in this area over the years, FWIW.

I began intensely “work on” my own emotions long before I formally undertook “the Work”. At the time I was very immersed in the “Seth” material, and found much of value there to help me. Seth spoke of people being afraid, almost “phobic” of their emotions, resulting in one’s emotions getting “stuck”. He described emotions as being naturally “fluid”, and emphasized that if allowed to run their course unimpeded, they have a clear beginning, middle, and end, and will naturally “dissipate”. The problem comes when that cycle is impeded by fears and/or beliefs of the person experiencing the emotion, by the person’s low tolerance of emotional pain, what psychologists would call “affect tolerance”. As I came to understand it, the keys to letting an emotion fully cycle and ultimately dissipate are:

• Adopt a neutral, non-judgmental attitude t the emotion, seeing it as the equivalent of a physical pain or sensation. In other words, do not view the emotion as “negative” or “positive”, or yourself as “bad”, “pitiful”, or “out of control” for experiencing the emotion.
• Recognize that the emotion is NOT YOU, merely an energy that is moving and expressing itself THROUGH you. Try not to identify with it, try to let a part of you impassively observe it even as you are fully feeling it.
• Concentrate on fully FEELING the emotion, all the while recognizing that you will NOT get “stuck” in the emotion, nor will you DIE or be physically harmed by it.

A technique that I regularly used at the beginning of my work in this area, when I felt the most overwhelmed and frightened by the emotions I was releasing from my body, was to adopted a physical posture that would really allow the emotion to MOVE THROUGH my body and really allow me to FEEL IT. For me it was one of two positions: either lying spread-eagled on the floor (face up or down), or in the same position against a flat wall. For some reason this really helped me to FEEL and/or visualize the emotions moving throughout my entire body, peak in intensity, then exit my body into the ether.

An analogy that worked for me was that of the athlete who seeks to increase his physical endurance, so that he can perform at a higher level. He disciplines himself to feel the physical pain of taxing his muscles, knowing that the pain will decrease over time as his muscles grow stronger. In the same way, I came to view the pain of fully experiencing my emotions as “temporary”, and would remind myself that over time my “tolerance” (“affect tolerance”) of emotional pain would increase, with the result that each emotional “cycle” would gradually become “shorter” and more efficient, as my emotional “muscles” became stronger.

But the most important thing I got from the Seth material, and my experiences in this area, was the absolute necessity of recognizing that your emotions are not YOU, cannot harm you, and will eventually dissipate if allowed to fully “cycle”; and that to impose any kind of ‘value judgment” on them, can only impede that cycle.

Dunno if this makes any sense to you, in terms of what you are experiencing. Take it for what it’s worth.

And finally a quote, this is on the importance of grasping the opportunity, when it is offered, lest it is lost forever.

It will be up to the assisted coachman afterwards to profit, by his own efforts, for the help and information received. It will be incumbent on him from this point on to put all things in order and, open eyed, to follow the path he had abandoned.

He will above all fight against sleep, for if he falls asleep again, and the coach leaves the road again and again finds itself in the same danger, he cannot hope that chance will smile upon him a second time, that another coachman will pass at that moment and at that place and come to his aid once again.

Vigilance and awareness is required at all times.

So, thank you RedFox for your insightful comments.

 

[no-mans-land]

On the practical side, the itching is almost gone, but therefore another thing replaced it and this one prevents me from finishing the POTS too. Every time I come to the meditation part, my legs become restless and it gets worse and worse until I have to move my muscles and then the meditation is over because this feeling wouldn't go away until I stop the meditation. Just curious. Lets see what comes next. :P

This may or may not help in this instance, but I believe magnesium helps with restless legs. fwiw
Here's a thread about magnesium in our diet and heath section, in case you haven't seen it. http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=2354.0

Thanks, I know this thread already (but did not read it entirely). Since I start to drive with the bike, I am also looking for different methods of magnesium supplementation (also Vit C, less gluten etc.). To find magnesium without fillers seems rather difficult, but I am on the way to get the magnesium oil and then I can combine it with a FIR sauna near the place I live. Things getting better.

 

[Tavo]

Okay, here I go... I gave EE my very first shot last night, hearing the audio from my cell phone while sitting in my bed, my wife wasn't there so I thought it would be a good oportunity.

I'm asthmatic, so my pulmonar capacity isn't great, and I had trouble keeping the air coming IN while Laura was counting in the pipe breath, same goes for the exhaling.

The warrior's breath caught me off guard so I couldn't do it, i tried a bit but I didn't want to wake anyone up.

I kept going all the way through, got to the prayer part, did pretty well there actually and then when it was over, I went to sleep.

I woke up later, about 8:30AM (the EE program ended like...2:15AM) having problems to breathe, it wasn't related to asthma from what I felt, but I had to breath very quickly.

After going to the bathroom, I went back to bed, knowing that my wife would be home at 9:30 or so, so I waited for her sleeping.

She woke me up, and I was still having those same problems.

I'm at work now (15:30PM right now) and I can breath better, but I still have this pressure on my chest, and a back pain from the quick breathing I had to do.

What did I do wrong? Was it something I wasn't ready to do?

 

[aragorn]

Okay, here I go... I gave EE my very first shot last night, hearing the audio from my cell phone while sitting in my bed, my wife wasn't there so I thought it would be a good oportunity.

Sitting on the bed might make your posture "crooked", making it more difficut to breathe with ease. This could also explain your back pain. In my experience the surface that you sit on should be quite hard; you should feel your sitting bones and also adjust your pelvis so that you sit on those bones. This way your posture should also align better upwards, freeing up the diaphragm.

I'm asthmatic, so my pulmonar capacity isn't great, and I had trouble keeping the air coming IN while Laura was counting in the pipe breath, same goes for the exhaling.

The warrior's breath caught me off guard so I couldn't do it, i tried a bit but I didn't want to wake anyone up.

I kept going all the way through, got to the prayer part, did pretty well there actually and then when it was over, I went to sleep.

Again, this might have to do with your sitting posture. How does your solar plexus area (the area a few cm above your navel) feel while breathing? Does it feel tense? I've noticed that this is the area where many people are very tense (we tend to "gather" stress and other worries there). And IMO the solar plexus is one of the key components for a free movement of the diaphragm; if it feels relaxed and elastic, breathing is easy. Maybe you could observe this area and tell how it feels?

Although I think that making voice is a very important part of freeing the diaphragm, as done in the warriors breath, I see benefits in doing it silently also. Ad long as you are activating your inner muscles, as in pronouncing a consonant or blowing out a candle. Sometimes I do it in this way silently, because others are sleeping.

I woke up later, about 8:30AM (the EE program ended like...2:15AM) having problems to breathe, it wasn't related to asthma from what I felt, but I had to breath very quickly.

After going to the bathroom, I went back to bed, knowing that my wife would be home at 9:30 or so, so I waited for her sleeping.

She woke me up, and I was still having those same problems.

I'm at work now (15:30PM right now) and I can breath better, but I still have this pressure on my chest, and a back pain from the quick breathing I had to do.

What did I do wrong? Was it something I wasn't ready to do?

It could be that you didn't do anything wrong, maybe you just tried to do too much on your first time? Trying too hard to keep up the pace with Laura on the recording can make you to force it, you've probably been doing somewhat forced upper breathing because you've felt that otherwise you'll loose Laura's tempo. Alas, yor chest muscles are aching. When you get the breath to pass that "tight knot", the solar plexus, it will make things easier. How to do this? Practise slow and with little breath, concentrate ONLY you being relaxed in the waist area (s.plexus, belly). Do not try fast tempos until you master this. Use the hands and eg a book to check if your breath really reaches the "bottom". When you start to learn how to "fill the cup" starting from the bottom you will see that many problems disappear and your development will be fast.

 

[Tavo]

Yeh the back pain should be because of my position in the bed indeed, I never found the right position. I'll keep that in mind next time.

But what about the breathing issues when I woke up? I'm still recovering, and it's 17:30 here already .
We're leaving the summer here, and the change makes my asthma to reappear, but like I said, THIS is not one of those times.