Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[Learner]

Pipe Breath Smokers

At the workplace i became used to 'smoke' via Pipe Breathing. Without a cigarette, no smoke no fumes. When tired or need to concentrate i have fallen into the habit of simply start to 'smoke' by Pipe Breathing.

It relaxes, clears the mind, helps to think and because i stimulate the vagus nerve it releases Acetylcholine (ACh), which stimulates my brain creating the thinking-boosting effects of smoking. Since Laura mentioned that smoking boosts thinking by almost 75% i always sought a way to have that benefit.

To "smoke" by Pipe Breathing is a really good idea, I think. I cannot compare the benefits of smoking to those of Pipe Breathing, because I do not smoke. But ocassionally I do PB a little bit over the day, while being at home, doing some housework or whatever. While going or being downtown, I usually do it while sitting in a tram, because due to the driving noise other people would not take notice of a "Darth Vader" sitting next to them. And it always helps me to relax. I regard your proposal as very helpful. So I will do the PB also more often over the day and not only occassionally on only some days but almost every night - in the kind I would imagine myself to smoke a cigarette. I actually think, from what you have described, it will really help me regarding the university exams I am facing now. So I want to leave a Thank You for you. :)

Think about this:
- How many times have you been helped by Laura and the Chateau Team and QFG?
- What would your life without their findings and publications be?

That's a very good reminder, forge, as I can imagine, that my life (and also the lives of all others here) without Laura, the community, EE etc. would drive on a much darker road. It is like, the road is illumintated by many lights, so I know, where to drive instead of landing in a ditch on the side of the road. By doing PB-"smoking" I will contemplate about it. Thank you for pointing that out.
By the way, thank you to Laura and the whole community for being here and giving light.

 

[Iron]

Since a few weeks ago, however, I seem to have hit a wall. Not only I don't zone out anymore, it also becomes difficult to concentrate during the meditation. I tried to do a few things before the program to relax: light exercise, warm bath, FIR blanket, but they didn't help at all. I also feel much anger and frustration for no reason, or for things that I could easily control before. Yesterday I just snapped at my mom on the phone when she went on a tirade about how bad my wife has been to them. And the procrastination at work. It seems so pointless, except as a means to earn a living, that it takes a lot of effort to continue.

Having read about others' experience, I think there's nothing out of the ordinary with my experience. It looks like it just changed from the "smooth phase" to the "rough phase" and I just have to continue to push on. Anyway, it's good to vent it out a bit.

Thank you for listening.

Funny. The procrastination at work was happening to me also. What helped me was to remind myself what that time at work would help me accomplish. What could be helped by that, and if any meaningful interactions could be forged in work.
However it could be your inner signs demanding change perhaps?

 

[Oxajil]

Maybe it's useful to think that precisely because the DCM encompasses ALL - both STS and STO - that (S)He loves you inconditionally, and always will, no matter what you choose to be and do. It is also because DCM includes all manifestations that She is capable of gifting us with free will (to become one of those manifestations).

You are precisely who you are because DCM accepts you as you are. And DCM also allows you to choose to change if you want! Personally I find this thought very positive, reassuring, exciting and liberating.

On the other hand, if you are horrified at what you see in yourself and you really want to change, then I suggest you use the horror to fuel your transformation into a better version of yourself.

I hope the thoughts above made some sense (it's late here I'm tired as I write )

This is it exactly. Thank you Windmill Knight for putting it so beautifully.

One of the first hurdles I had with the POTS, were the lines, "Holy awareness in all Creation, carried in the heart" Immediately the negative introject would jump in with, "As if your heart were capable of this, even supposing you have one." I'd been told by so many people, so many times what a selfish person I was (and I was/still am), that I thought it was an incurable condition, however much I wanted to change. It was amost impossible to get by that part of the prayer without crying my eyes out.

But one night there came the thought that, the Holy Awareness in all Creation already knew all that, and if I was, if I existed, then the All, which looks unblinkingly at the All, loved me anyway. And I could try to change and fail, and try and fail, and still I would be loved. I would still loved all the way through the process, no matter how long it takes. The effort is a small contribution to Creation experiencing itself.

Herondancer

Wow! That is exactly how I started to understand DCM. Beautifully said.

I once asked my friend how she thought God would look like, she told me that we (muslims) are not allowed to think about such things.
If I would have to answer my own question symbolically and subjectively, I would probably say a Smile, because that's what I see every time I think about the DCM.

Sorry for the offtopic message, just thought I'd share!

 

[Windmill knight]

Maybe it's useful to think that precisely because the DCM encompasses ALL - both STS and STO - that (S)He loves you inconditionally, and always will, no matter what you choose to be and do. It is also because DCM includes all manifestations that She is capable of gifting us with free will (to become one of those manifestations).

You are precisely who you are because DCM accepts you as you are. And DCM also allows you to choose to change if you want! Personally I find this thought very positive, reassuring, exciting and liberating.

I hadn't seen it that way....There was an immediate reaction when reading it that made me get a little deeper in my understanding of the problem. I felt angry, very angry at DCM for allowing certain things to be the way they are. I realize that this a purely STS thought. I read what I have just wrote and part of me finds it absurd, as in, how can I be angry at DCM? But truth is I have been storing this feeling inside me without realizing! And now it is getting out, and I am very, very upset and I am crying as I write...

I am very angry for what happens in this world, I don't think it is necessary to go into details for we know well how horrendous things can be. I am angry for the way they are and this anger is being projected at me and at DCM.....I have been angry at God.
I feel that a giant balloon has just exploded and now I am observing all these emotions coming out. I think now I understand the reason for my escalating anger of the last months.
The next step is to learn how to deal with these emotions, reconcile myself with DCM, and with myself. I have a long road ahead...

Hi Gertrudes. I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling anger at the horrible things of the world - on the contrary, it means you are human and you have a heart, and as you know, these powerful emotions can become very creative forces by either making you go into action or changing yourself. It could simply be that you are growing.

I wouldn't say that feeling anger at the DCM is wrong either - it's just emotions and they are what they are, and DCM will not stop accepting you for that. But it is a little absurd in the sense that we do not understand the Absolute and its Reasons except in very vague or abstract terms. We can say that DCM is All-encompassing and the way She has to know Herself is through all possible manifestations of Reality, and that includes both STO and STS, the Beautiful and the Horrible. She is also the point of resolution and reconciliation of All opposing forces. These thoughts leave in me a great sense of awe and wonder, but I cannot say I really understand them. I don't think anyone in 3D can - otherwise they would not be in 3D!

So feeling anger at the Ultimate Reality, which we don't really understand, is a bit like a little child hating their parents for having to go to school! Still, I think it's perfectly fine for a child to feel that way occasionally because that is what children do as they grow. And their parents will not refuse a helping hand because of that.

In our case, we do not need to understand DCM nor to have only bright emotions to be able to pray and have our prayers answered. In fact, not understanding and having all sorts of negative emotions is part of the process of growth, and as such, perhaps these pains are part of the result of our prayers! To pretend that we understand everything and that there is nothing to be upset about in this world would probably be a sin against the soul, as T. Illion puts it, because it would be an attempt at escaping our role in the Universal Play and putting ourselves at the level of God - which is lying to the self.

So all things considered, in my humble opinion you are doing great. :)

That's how I see things at the moment anyway.

 

[Oxajil]

We can say that DCM is All-encompassing and the way She has to know Herself is through all possible manifestations of Reality, and that includes both STO and STS, the Beautiful and the Horrible. She is also the point of resolution and reconciliation of All opposing forces. These thoughts leave in me a great sense of awe and wonder, but I cannot say I really understand them. I don't think anyone in 3D can - otherwise they would not be in 3D!

Out of curiosity, why do you chose to use the words Herself and She?

As I read in FOTCM Statement:

Because the Cosmic Mind is the Totality of All, it is neither masculine nor feminine in nature, but, rather, both. As such, we repudiate previous attempts to describe it as ―God‖ or ―Goddess‖. We recognize that the Cosmic Mind, infinite in nature, holds within it the potential for ALL realities and their properties, including those of contradiction and opposition.

I do remember that very early religions (perhaps the earliest even) ''believed'' in a feminine God.

 

[Windmill knight]

We can say that DCM is All-encompassing and the way She has to know Herself is through all possible manifestations of Reality, and that includes both STO and STS, the Beautiful and the Horrible. She is also the point of resolution and reconciliation of All opposing forces. These thoughts leave in me a great sense of awe and wonder, but I cannot say I really understand them. I don't think anyone in 3D can - otherwise they would not be in 3D!

Out of curiosity, why do you chose to use the words Herself and She?

As I read in FOTCM Statement:

Because the Cosmic Mind is the Totality of All, it is neither masculine nor feminine in nature, but, rather, both. As such, we repudiate previous attempts to describe it as ―God‖ or ―Goddess‖. We recognize that the Cosmic Mind, infinite in nature, holds within it the potential for ALL realities and their properties, including those of contradiction and opposition.

I do remember that very early religions (perhaps the earliest even) ''believed'' in a feminine God.

Well, I started using (S)He and Him/Her, but it looked awkward, so I just simplified to She.

Also, I do it that way because it is a strategy to help myself get rid of the dominant male figure of the judeochristian God. I was raised as a catholic and much was suggested about God being up there on a cloud, sporting a long beard and looking down to Earth with a frown on his face, waiting to catch you commiting a sin or having impure thoughts! So using She helps me have a renewed and refreshed approach to the Divine. :)

Finally, while I totally agree that DCM is neither male nor female, but both, if I were to choose one to describe Him/Her, I think I would go for female, as it is easier to picture a woman giving birth to the Universe than a man. That's probably why those earlier religions had a Godess, and I believe this is a point Laura makes in Secret History or elsewhere.

While I pray on my own, however, I don't really give much thought to the gender of the DCM. It's just when I need to talk about it that language makes an issue of it.

 

[Oxajil]

Well, I started using (S)He and Him/Her, but it looked awkward, so I just simplified to She.

Also, I do it that way because it is a strategy to help myself get rid of the dominant male figure of the judeochristian God. I was raised as a catholic and much was suggested about God being up there on a cloud, sporting a long beard and looking down to Earth with a frown on his face, waiting to catch you commiting a sin or having impure thoughts! So using She helps me have a renewed and refreshed approach to the Divine. :)

Finally, while I totally agree that DCM is neither male nor female, but both, if I were to choose one to describe Him/Her, I think I would go for female, as it is easier to picture a woman giving birth to the Universe than a man. That's probably why those earlier religions had a Godess, and I believe this is a point Laura makes in Secret History or elsewhere.

While I pray on my own, however, I don't really give much thought to the gender of the DCM. It's just when I need to talk about it that language makes an issue of it.

I see! Thanks, sorry if it was a personal question.

 

[Aliana]

[quote from Redfox]
Was thinking about this last night (having not posted on here for a while) before doing the program, and it felt like I haven't thanked Laura et al enough for the program.
I felt quite embarrassed.

So (and I hope I'm not over doing it?) Thankyou from the bottom of my heart for the E-E program. It really is changing my life.
The best description I can give for the process is that of dreaming you are able to walk, to waking up occasionally, to taking my first shuffling steps whilst trying to stay awake. I get the weirdest sense of de-ja-vu thinking about it. Have I/we done this all before?

It also dawned on me (in a small way) how important this program is...given the way things are heating up with this strange atmosphere of negativity/disintegration, without the E-E program I think I would have sunk....and I thought about everyone here who may be going through the same....and about those who don't know of the E-E program or the work.

I have been overwhelmed lately (helping my Mother move - to another city and also do major downsizing). So - have barely been able to keep up with the reading and have not been able to respond to others posts like i want to. Perhaps because of this, i have been feeling like nothing much has been happening - even though i still keep up the full program 2x per week and try to to the POTS and PB nightly. Today, after spending a weekend packing/sorting through stuff, and then having a full-on stressful day at work - I could feel the beginning of a migraine. I had that familiar knot swelling at the back of my neck and the sense of impending head pain. In addition to the stress, the moon is full - which often causes my tissues to swell if i am not careful and on top of that- a pollen count here that is off the charts - spring is in full bloom.

I put my face into a small vaporizer and began thinking how lucky I am to know about the EE program because without that i know I would never be able to make it through all this with my sanity intact. So I immediately went to my room where it was dark and cool and started the EE. After not having much happen for the past months, suddenly tears started to flow and i felt this strange vibration right below my breastbone - I started shaking and then my whole body began to shake in waves. I was able to complete the EE in between sobs and felt completely drained after that.

I knew I had been holding so much back - a lot of it b/c I need to help my Mom through this move and I felt like I had to keep it all together for her sake. Also, a lot of old grief surfaced as well - but in spite of feeling exhausted - I now have NO headache!! This is amazing, because generally when these headaches start they can last 18+ hours. I have been really good about my diet (gluten / dairy free, and keeping up with supplements) - but can still be caught when too many stresses combine.

So - again I want to thank Laura and all the members of the forum - for the EE program and the help and support given so generously. Thank you - thank you from the bottom of my heart!!
aleana

 

[mocachapeau]

I hadn't been doing the EE program for a few weeks. Getting a bit of quiet time in this small apartment is always the main reason for my lack of regularity, but this time it was coupled with a few frustrations I've been trying to cope with. Over the past two weeks I began to feel like I had a kind of darkness around me, closing in a little more each day. I'd never really noticed it like that before. I guess I'd been letting things worry me so much, and obsessing, that I began to have negative emotions. It was like being in a perpetual bad mood. I never had any outward reactions, but I think I might have if I had let it go on. Little things were getting under my skin that should not have been.

At any rate, I ended up with the house to myself on Saturday afternoon and was able to do the EE program. It helped me to relax a bit, but I was still feeling the grumpiness that evening. But then Sunday afternoon gave me an hour and a half of quiet time (two days in a row!!) so I was able to go through the program again. When I was finished I felt almost tangibly calm and relaxed - if that's possible. And I went to work this morning feeling like I was back to my new self again. I say "new self" because I've realised that that feeling of darkness is something I used to live with quite a bit.

I am grateful that I can not only recognize the feeling when it creeps up on me now, but that the EE program gets rid of it. It has become obvious just how important it is for me to do the EE regularly, because it keeps that feeling away. Even though the frustrations are still in my life, they don't rule me and take control of my mood.

As far as the actual breathing goes, that energized tingling feeling is no longer just in my extremities but all through my body. And during the meditation I occasionally zone out for what seems like a line or two of the POTS. Sometimes images pop into my head at those moments - people, places - but I can't give any real details about that yet.

 

[RedFox]

Just a quick update. I tried using my FIR sauna to help me relax before doing the full program last night, and managed to get really deep into the breathing.
Did the round breathing laying down as per usual and on about the thirds breath zoned out....the weird thing is I seem to think I did the entire program, I do recall turning off the mp3 player, taking my headphones out of my ears and rolling over to sleep. Must admit that I find it a little disconcerting to not remember doing the program appart from having a vague recollection of putting the mp3 player at the side of the bed.
I wondered at breakfast if I'd done that part of the program at all, and even checked to see if I had switched it off....very odd.

Slept really deeply, but am in a bit of a fog today (probably a detox reaction)....so maybe why I'm finding the whole thing odd.
Had some pretty odd dreams.....involving lifts and watching different floors go past (lifts Never work in my dreams), and nonlinear time.....discussing an author (who I don't know?) who had the same concepts as Gurdjieff before him with a previous incarnation of myself....in the hope that the time lines could be altered?
I then saw things from the perspective of my previous self getting ready to go off to war (ww1?) along with hundreds of others...knowing that I was being sent to my death as we got on the trains, and there was nothing I could do about it at that point (I could almost see what was coming in the dream....like a vision/memory within the dream of the trenches). I woke up at that point of dispair/finality.
Having a dream like that makes me think I did do the full breathing program....even though I have no recollection of it.

 

[Gimpy]

Over the past two weeks I began to feel like I had a kind of darkness around me, closing in a little more each day. I'd never really noticed it like that before. I guess I'd been letting things worry me so much, and obsessing, that I began to have negative emotions. It was like being in a perpetual bad mood. I never had any outward reactions, but I think I might have if I had let it go on. Little things were getting under my skin that should not have been.

Same here. Its seemed to pile on like a bunch of football players last few days. First an old friend wanted to come stay with us, and that was stressful...and ever since I've been foggy with a persistent fever, and other detox reactions. Weird thoughts and almost compulsions to contact people I KNOW are toxic, and 'give the benefit of the doubt' to are chasing around in my head, in addition to feeling like my whole body is in a vise of inaction. And the nightmares are not so nice. Its as if every distraction and misdirected illusion is coming through to pull me off track. In dreams its easier now to really look into these things and see them for what they are, but the whole thing is tiring.

The FOTCM paperwork arrived yesterday, to much joy and inner weeping, and right away everything I set my hand to do crumbled. Its as if the minute something is planned, ka-boom. Crying and just getting some of the emotional frustration out helps some....at the moment I don't know what good I can do anyone in the Fellowship or anywhere else.

When I can get through the physical fog, and do quick pipe breaths, when I see all of it and wonder if it'll ever work out, it makes me more determined to keep at it, knowing that Laura and Ark and the mods have gone through it too.

This too shall pass.....we all just need to keep breathing. :)

 

[slowone]

Dear Gertrudes, Your post about your struggle with the difficult manifestations of energy in our existence really resonated with me.

I Think I realised but didn't know what to do with my anger about so much suffering especially of children in this world. I was almost in tears to day reading an article about a particularly sick 4 year old girl who has a genetic condition which leaves her in constant pain. Sometimes crying all night because of it.

I can feel the lump in my throat as I type this now, and my anger about her suffering. No amount of my telling myself that I am incapable of seeing or understanding the larger cosmic picture that allows this ameliorates my feelings of frustration and sadness. What to do?

Maybe it's useful to think that precisely because the DCM encompasses ALL - both STS and STO - that (S)He loves you inconditionally, and always will, no matter what you choose to be and do. It is also because DCM includes all manifestations that She is capable of gifting us with free will (to become one of those manifestations).

You are precisely who you are because DCM accepts you as you are. And DCM also allows you to choose to change if you want! Personally I find this thought very positive, reassuring, exciting and liberating.

I hadn't seen it that way....There was an immediate reaction when reading it that made me get a little deeper in my understanding of the problem. I felt angry, very angry at DCM for allowing certain things to be the way they are. I realize that this a purely STS thought. I read what I have just wrote and part of me finds it absurd, as in, how can I be angry at DCM? But truth is I have been storing this feeling inside me without realizing! And now it is getting out, and I am very, very upset and I am crying as I write...

I am very angry for what happens in this world, I don't think it is necessary to go into details for we know well how horrendous things can be. I am angry for the way they are and this anger is being projected at me and at DCM.....I have been angry at God.

I feel this a lot at the moment.

I feel that a giant balloon has just exploded and now I am observing all these emotions coming out. I think now I understand the reason for my escalating anger of the last months.
The next step is to learn how to deal with these emotions, reconcile myself with DCM, and with myself. I have a long road ahead...

Hi Gertrudes. I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling anger at the horrible things of the world - on the contrary, it means you are human and you have a heart, and as you know, these powerful emotions can become very creative forces by either making you go into action or changing yourself. It could simply be that you are growing.

I wouldn't say that feeling anger at the DCM is wrong either - it's just emotions and they are what they are, and DCM will not stop accepting you for that. But it is a little absurd in the sense that we do not understand the Absolute and its Reasons except in very vague or abstract terms. We can say that DCM is All-encompassing and the way She has to know Herself is through all possible manifestations of Reality, and that includes both STO and STS, the Beautiful and the Horrible. She is also the point of resolution and reconciliation of All opposing forces. These thoughts leave in me a great sense of awe and wonder, but I cannot say I really understand them. I don't think anyone in 3D can - otherwise they would not be in 3D!

I hadn't thought of this. I need to keep reminding myself that I wouldn't be here to learn if I understood already!

So feeling anger at the Ultimate Reality, which we don't really understand, is a bit like a little child hating their parents for having to go to school! Still, I think it's perfectly fine for a child to feel that way occasionally because that is what children do as they grow. And their parents will not refuse a helping hand because of that.

In our case, we do not need to understand DCM nor to have only bright emotions to be able to pray and have our prayers answered. In fact, not understanding and having all sorts of negative emotions is part of the process of growth, and as such, perhaps these pains are part of the result of our prayers! To pretend that we understand everything and that there is nothing to be upset about in this world would probably be a sin against the soul, as T. Illion puts it, because it would be an attempt at escaping our role in the Universal Play and putting ourselves at the level of God - which is lying to the self.

So all things considered, in my humble opinion you are doing great. :)

That's how I see things at the moment anyway.

I just keep trying to allow myself to use the my feelings of anger and impotence in the face of such suffering to make me more determined to do "The Work".

 

[no-mans-land]

I don't know if this is related to some extent to the EE program, but I will post it.

Some days ago I was lay in my bed but couldn't sleep (a common phenomenon in the last few days). I tried to relax while reciting the POTS but I couldn't focus myself enough to even do one prayer in a line and so I stopped after several attempts. The next 30 minutes I was rolling over my bed to find a comfortable position and ended up on my back again.

Quite desperate about the situation I was almost at the point to stand up again and do something. But when I tried to close my eyes and calm down, a pulsation soared somewhere near my belly and spread quickly through my whole body. I was terrified because the feeling was so intense and fast and came without warning and before I could realize whats going on, I was inside of some wired lucid dream where I heard a voice talking about stories of people I knew in my school time (more than 15 years ago). It was the voice of my sister who was speaking and first I thought she just replays some sort of conversation, but then an another voice occurred (unknown to me) who said "these are your memories".

I was quite confused to hear my sister telling thoughts of my own about my past and after that, I found myself in a room with another person in it which looked familiar but in a very disturbing way. This person turned his face and looking to me and this other voice came up again and said "this is you". I begun to realize, that this person was in fact "me" but a total different part of me and while I was looking at him (or "me") I saw the eyes and that really scared the shite out of me. These eyes, I don't know how to describe, there were somewhat black with a white ring around the pupil and as I was staring at him, the eyes become even more intense, like the dark became even darker and the white ring became whiter like a cold glow in the dark. They looked really evil and I got the impression, that he is not amused and could kill me with these eyes if he want.

As fast as the dream started, it stopped and I found myself in my bed again still on my back. I turned around and fell to sleep.

I wonder who this other voice was, why my sisters voice telling me those memories and what part of me I discovert there. Interesting, disturbing, exciting... somehow everything at once.

 

[Ollie]

I don't know if this is related to some extent to the EE program, but I will post it.

Some days ago I was lay in my bed but couldn't sleep (a common phenomenon in the last few days). I tried to relax while reciting the POTS but I couldn't focus myself enough to even do one prayer in a line and so I stopped after several attempts. The next 30 minutes I was rolling over my bed to find a comfortable position and ended up on my back again. ...

Hi, this is probably a reaction to doing the E-E Breathing Meditation programme, I experienced it quite early on. I suggest that you cut out the round breathing, and just concentrate on the pipe breathing/three stage breathing and PotS only for a while, or not. This may help, or not. On the other hand, the sleepness nights abate after bout a week or so.

 

[no-mans-land]

Hi, this is probably a reaction to doing the E-E Breathing Meditation programme, I experienced it quite early on. I suggest that you cut out the round breathing, and just concentrate on the pipe breathing/three stage breathing and PotS only for a while, or not. This may help, or not. On the other hand, the sleepness nights abate after bout a week or so.

Hmm... probably, but probably it has also do to with the time I usually have to work. To get enough sleep, I usually have to go to sleep almost at 16:00 because the bell rings at 01:00 (now at 0:30). At this time, the sun shines and the birds sing. Not a good condition for a good sleep. :P
And now we have already 17:00 and I am still awake, damn, time to go to sleep. A bad rhythm. During the winter this was okay, but now.... Well, everything has good and bad sides.

But thanks for the tip with the round breathing, I will try it.