Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[Gertrudes]

Hi Alada,

thank you for your reply.

I agree with others that it doesn't matter, you can exchange Divine Cosmic Mind for God or whatever name is more comfortable for you. [...] God will not mind.

As you second Windmill knight's thought here, I now feel the more encouraged to try the POTS with the word "God". I have tried it that way last night. But it still feels a little bit strange, because I learned the POTS by heart with the phrase "Oh Divine Cosmic Mind". Just saying "Oh God - Holy Awareness in All Creation" feels a bit like something is missed (as "God" is shorther then the term "DCM"); so I tried it that way last night: "Oh God, that You are The All-One - Holy Awareness in All Creation [...] The Holiness of True Existence - God, that You are The All-One".

In short, some part of you noticed that using "god" is delimiting... that there is something "outside" god, i.e. ALL consciousness = the "real" god. If you want to substitute a term, try "Holy Spirit".

Ok...I just had a realization reading this....I don't quite now how to put this into words. I think this is at the root of most of my problems.

When doing the prayer of the soul, I noticed several times that I can't "feel" very well the expression Divine Cosmic Mind. When writing it as I am now, or reading it, I actually find it beautiful, but when saying it there seems to be some resistance. Learner's post made me think about it. And then Laura's answer nailed exactly how I feel about the term "God". Digging inside myself I realized that the reason why I am resisting "Divine Cosmic Mind", is because it encompasses ALL things. And because it encompasses all, it is both STO and STS. They are both faces of the divine. I just realized that it is the fact that STS is also divine, is also part of the Divine Cosmic Mind, the absolute all, that is causing this resistance....this is strange, I'm getting a very emotional reaction while writing this.

I think I have such a resistance that I can't accept the existence of STS. I can't accept reality! How can I possibly accept myself if I don't accept what I am which is STS, as part of this world? Now I can much more clearly understand the struggle I've been going through these last few months. I've noticed that my inner observer is more awake, but is also completely horrified with what it sees, and condemns it, instilling in my such guilt for being what I am, that I am left completely drained of my strength....Well, this isn't, of course, my inner observer, but my inner predator condemning. Nevertheless, this might sound like a pretty basic or silly realization, but the only thing that I can say is that I am really, really struggling with this at the moment......
I'm completely horrified at what I see, I condemn it, I seem unable to change it, and I can't accept it....I think it is the fact that I can't accept what I am in the first place, that does not allow me to change.

I've found a very good thing that I'd like to share here in case you try it and it works for you too. When I watch videos or read articles from SOTT that talk about the cruelty and suffering in this world, right after doing so I close my eyes, and say the POTS a couple of times. Before, the shock used to be so strong that I had to stop reading and I would be so sad that I was unable to read anything for a few days/weeks. And that didn't help me Do anything about it. Now, during the POTS I think about what I've just read or watched, and even if the sadness is still there, it kind of transforms into will power. I get up and do something related to the work here (translating, posting, FOTCM related things, etc.) I keep focusing on those children that are dying, and wanting to Do more and more. I feel I/we have a big responsibility, because we were born in different circumstances and have the possibility to prevent their lives from having been in vain. People in Palestine, children burnt and killed so young, they don't have that opportunity. I feel we owe it to them.

Thank you for this excerpt Ailén.
As I read the news, I feel so disgusted that I am physically unwell. I have cut down the amount of news reading I do because of that. I just don't know how to handle what I read. But then I think, well, if you can't handle what you are reading imagine what these people who are going through it are feeling for Christ's sake!...
I will also try to do as you suggested.

When seeing all the ugliness, I am faced with the fact that Divine Cosmic Mind is also that, and I am lost...Intellectually I have no problems with this concept, but emotionally, I just realized that I feel so resistant to the idea that I can't even say Divine Cosmic Mind without feeling that I am inviting the "All", that is also STS...

I'm sorry for this "all over the place" post. I have just processed all these thoughts and writting them down here has helped me to understand more clearly why a part of me has been feeling so hopeless and angry.

EDIT: clarity

 

[Bobo08]

A little update on my EE practice... Since January, I have practiced the full program almost everyday before sleep and weekend mornings too. In the beginning, it went very smoothly. I often zoned out at about middle through the POTS. During the day, I was much calmer and focused. There were also frequent dreams but I often forgot them soon after waking up.

Since a few weeks ago, however, I seem to have hit a wall. Not only I don't zone out anymore, it also becomes difficult to concentrate during the meditation. I tried to do a few things before the program to relax: light exercise, warm bath, FIR blanket, but they didn't help at all. I also feel much anger and frustration for no reason, or for things that I could easily control before. Yesterday I just snapped at my mom on the phone when she went on a tirade about how bad my wife has been to them. And the procrastination at work. It seems so pointless, except as a means to earn a living, that it takes a lot of effort to continue.

Having read about others' experience, I think there's nothing out of the ordinary with my experience. It looks like it just changed from the "smooth phase" to the "rough phase" and I just have to continue to push on. Anyway, it's good to vent it out a bit.

Thank you for listening.

 

[Turgon]

Not much has been happening during my meditation sessions as of late other than having a tough time concentrating and haven't been zoning out, probably due to my lack of focus. My mind seems to be so pre-occupied with other things most of the time, and there have only been a few times where I perform EE without distractions galore. I've also noticed last week and the week before that during the meditation part, negative images of weird creatures or random people would pop up in my head who I've never seen before, but I've been working to sort of move past it and continue with the Prayer.

Not only I don't zone out anymore, it also becomes difficult to concentrate during the meditation. I tried to do a few things before the program to relax: light exercise, warm bath, FIR blanket, but they didn't help at all. I also feel much anger and frustration for no reason, or for things that I could easily control before.

I've also been really angry and easily frustrated as well. As if my self-importance has just skyrocketed. Little things that people say to me will agitate me, whereas before I would easily brush off comments. It's weird too, because I'm observing myself doing this, know that I'm caught in a program, but am having trouble getting through it and letting myself shine through and holding true to STO principles of thinking and behaviour.

I think I have such a resistance that I can't accept the existence of STS. I can't accept reality! How can I possibly accept myself if I don't accept what I am which is STS, as part of this world? Now I can much more clearly understand the struggle I've been going through these last few months. I've noticed that my inner observer is more awake, but is also completely horrified with what it sees, and condemns it, instilling in my such guilt for being what I am, that I am left completely drained of my strength....Well, this isn't, of course, my inner observer, but my inner predator condemning. Nevertheless, this might sound like a pretty basic or silly realization, but the only thing that I can say is that I am really, really struggling with this at the moment......
I'm completely horrified at what I see, I condemn it, I seem unable to change it, and I can't accept it....I think it is the fact that I can't accept what I am in the first place, that does not allow me to change.

I've been feeling the same way as well, and yet another program - if someone on the forum doesn't write an experience similar to what I'm going through, I'm hesitant to write about it, but I'm working on overcoming this. It's as if my Buffers are slowly dwindling away and shocks are becoming way more noticeable. I feel shifty, unsure of myself in situations that I normally have confidence in (or maybe I've not had confidence, and now I just see that). My inner observer feels more awake as well, yet when my actions are controlled by my predator, I'm now able to see it more clearly and it becomes painful, unbearable for me to watch. Acting selfish, closing myself off, being condescending, anytime these traits pop up the disappointment becomes overwhelming, which always leads to anger and fear.

Today at least, I've felt much better, more in control at least. Like any good warrior, I need to re-coup, gather my thoughts, LEARN from these lessons and march onwards with new understandings in my utility belt.

Thanks!

 

[Approaching Infinity]

. . . this is strange, I'm getting a very emotional reaction while writing this.

This is an important state, and I think you should hold onto it. More below.

I think I have such a resistance that I can't accept the existence of STS. I can't accept reality! How can I possibly accept myself if I don't accept what I am which is STS, as part of this world? Now I can much more clearly understand the struggle I've been going through these last few months. I've noticed that my inner observer is more awake, but is also completely horrified with what it sees, and condemns it, instilling in my such guilt for being what I am, that I am left completely drained of my strength....Well, this isn't, of course, my inner observer, but my inner predator condemning. Nevertheless, this might sound like a pretty basic or silly realization, but the only thing that I can say is that I am really, really struggling with this at the moment......
I'm completely horrified at what I see, I condemn it, I seem unable to change it, and I can't accept it....I think it is the fact that I can't accept what I am in the first place, that does not allow me to change.

Gertrudes, your realization may be "basic" in that it is a universal step of the Way, but it is anything but silly. The struggle you are going through is the struggle of your soul, the breaking of the old social or "programmed" self, which makes way for the new, objective self. Reality is ugly, and from a young age, society (and we, ourselves) tells us comforting lies to buffer us from the terror of the situation. And it is painful to see what is. But we also shouldn't beat ourselves up too much for what we see. Every force has its opposite, and without that awareness, we risk beating ourselves up until there is no will left to Do. In order to grow, we must reconcile the opposing forces within ourselves. In other words, we must forgive. We must see the bad, the ugly, the selfish, but also the possibility for their opposites. Because if our feelings are sincere, the very fact that we are horrified tells us that we have a conscience. We have an ideal to which we do not live up. And it is in this "between" state that transformation is possible, this confrontation of the higher and the lower, this meeting of two worlds. It is our will that stands between. It is only from this act of Seeing that a choice to use what is in order to become what could be can be made. In Lost Christianity, which Laura has mentioned a few times in the last days, I've found a couple quotes that may help get this point across:

. . . what is lost in the whole of our modern life, including our un-
derstanding of religion, is something even more fundamental, without
which religious ideas and practices lose their meaning and all too easily
become the instruments of ignorance, fear, and hatred. What is lost is the
experience of oneself, just oneself—myself, the personal being who is
here, now, living, breathing, yearning for meaning, for goodness; just this
person here, now, squarely confronting one's own existential weaknesses
and pretensions while yet aware, however tentatively, of a higher current
of life and identity calling to us from within ourselves. This presence to
oneself is the missing element in the whole of the life of Man, the inter-
mediate state of consciousness between what we are meant to be and
what we actually are. it is, perhaps, the one bridge that can lead us from
our inhuman past toward the human future.

And writing of a talk he had with a Priest, in which the things the Priest said were making Needleman uncomfortable.

That evening, I saw with unforgettable clarity that the very least idea of the Christian tradition, and this surely applies to any authentic spiritual teaching, requires of man a quality of inquiry to which one may apply the term "voluntary suffering." Readers who are familiar with the writings of G. I. Gurdjieff will recognize this as his term, and I certainly do not mean to imply that I am using it in the precise sense meant by Gurdjieff. But no other words seem adequate to describe the persistent sense of "being-in-between" that accompanied my talk with Father Vincent. My religious side and my "worldly" side were both suspended—or, rather, both existed and pulled me, but neither by itself nor both together could prevail.

I discovered that there is an aspect of my nature that is neither spiritual nor worldly, and to be situated in that part of myself meant to experience a sort of suffering that simultaneously was new to me and had a flavor of familiarity, a distinct "my-own-ness." Also, and most important, I had constantly to choose it.

Had Vincent had more "credentials," had I been able to say to
myself that he was "making me uncomfortable" as a form of
"skillful means," my experience would no doubt have been very
different—as it has been when I have met spiritual personages
from the traditions, such as Zen masters, Tibetan lamas or Sufi
sheiks.
What is this place in between my two natures? Why is it such
bittersweet suffering to be situated there? Bittersweet because
the sense of my-own-ness was really quite extraordinary. I was
lost, uncertain, irritated, frustrated, and yet somehow I wished to
remain in that state. I existed. And I must say, without being
able to prove it in writing, that this wish had a completely
different flavor from what usually goes under the name of desire
or "interest" or "religious yearning."

 

[Pierre]

if someone on the forum doesn't write an experience similar to what I'm going through, I'm hesitant to write about it, but I'm working on overcoming this.

Actually you can see it the other way around. When you write about an experience that is not similar to what the other members describe, you enrich the discussion, you offer another perspective, you expand the scope of possibilities.

In addition there might be members who experienced exactly the same thing as you but felt insecure about it. If you share your experience they might realize they are not alone, feel less alone and more likely to share their experiences. :)

 

[Windmill knight]

When doing the prayer of the soul, I noticed several times that I can't "feel" very well the expression Divine Cosmic Mind. When writing it as I am now, or reading it, I actually find it beautiful, but when saying it there seems to be some resistance. Learner's post made me think about it. And then Laura's answer nailed exactly how I feel about the term "God". Digging inside myself I realized that the reason why I am resisting "Divine Cosmic Mind", is because it encompasses ALL things. And because it encompasses all, it is both STO and STS. They are both faces of the divine. I just realized that it is the fact that STS is also divine, is also part of the Divine Cosmic Mind, the absolute all, that is causing this resistance....this is strange, I'm getting a very emotional reaction while writing this.

Hi Gertrudes. Your post reminded me of this:

Q: (L) This recent 'awakening' or period of seeing things with such clarity, as they really were, and the whole picture of the interactions between people and how truly ugly it can be. I plunged into a terrible depression. I needed to get my balance from seeing so much all at once. Can you explain to me what was going on?
A: Growth.
Q: (L) I tried to share this perception with other people, and almost without exception, when I said to people that I was finally seeing things in their true state and it was NOT a pretty picture, they all said "well, you are obviously seeing this through the eyes of some major spirit possession!" Why would they say this?
A: First of all, it is not correct to perceive "everything in such darkness and gloom, etc." That is merely the result of a cocoon of falsehood being removed. Celebrate the balance. Don't mourn the death of an illusion of an imbalance.
Q: (L) Where do I go from here? Where do we all go?
A: Everywhere.

You also wrote:

I think I have such a resistance that I can't accept the existence of STS. I can't accept reality! How can I possibly accept myself if I don't accept what I am which is STS, as part of this world? Now I can much more clearly understand the struggle I've been going through these last few months. I've noticed that my inner observer is more awake, but is also completely horrified with what it sees, and condemns it, instilling in my such guilt for being what I am, that I am left completely drained of my strength....Well, this isn't, of course, my inner observer, but my inner predator condemning. Nevertheless, this might sound like a pretty basic or silly realization, but the only thing that I can say is that I am really, really struggling with this at the moment......
I'm completely horrified at what I see, I condemn it, I seem unable to change it, and I can't accept it....I think it is the fact that I can't accept what I am in the first place, that does not allow me to change.

Maybe it's useful to think that precisely because the DCM encompasses ALL - both STS and STO - that (S)He loves you inconditionally, and always will, no matter what you choose to be and do. It is also because DCM includes all manifestations that She is capable of gifting us with free will (to become one of those manifestations).

You are precisely who you are because DCM accepts you as you are. And DCM also allows you to choose to change if you want! Personally I find this thought very positive, reassuring, exciting and liberating.

On the other hand, if you are horrified at what you see in yourself and you really want to change, then I suggest you use the horror to fuel your transformation into a better version of yourself.

I hope the thoughts above made some sense (it's late here I'm tired as I write )

 

[herondancer]

Maybe it's useful to think that precisely because the DCM encompasses ALL - both STS and STO - that (S)He loves you inconditionally, and always will, no matter what you choose to be and do. It is also because DCM includes all manifestations that She is capable of gifting us with free will (to become one of those manifestations).

You are precisely who you are because DCM accepts you as you are. And DCM also allows you to choose to change if you want! Personally I find this thought very positive, reassuring, exciting and liberating.

On the other hand, if you are horrified at what you see in yourself and you really want to change, then I suggest you use the horror to fuel your transformation into a better version of yourself.

I hope the thoughts above made some sense (it's late here I'm tired as I write )

This is it exactly. Thank you Windmill Knight for putting it so beautifully.

One of the first hurdles I had with the POTS, were the lines, "Holy awareness in all Creation, carried in the heart" Immediately the negative introject would jump in with, "As if your heart were capable of this, even supposing you have one." I'd been told by so many people, so many times what a selfish person I was (and I was/still am), that I thought it was an incurable condition, however much I wanted to change. It was almost impossible to get by that part of the prayer without crying my eyes out.

But one night there came the thought that, the Holy Awareness in all Creation already knew all that, and if I was, if I existed, then the All, which looks unblinkingly at the All, loved me anyway. And I could try to change and fail, and try and fail, and still I would be loved. I would still be loved all the way through the process, no matter how long it takes. The effort is a small contribution to Creation experiencing itself.

Herondancer

 

[Gertrudes]

Every force has its opposite, and without that awareness, we risk beating ourselves up until there is no will left to Do. In order to grow, we must reconcile the opposing forces within ourselves. In other words, we must forgive. We must see the bad, the ugly, the selfish, but also the possibility for their opposites.

Yes, you are very right.
I think I haven't been able to really accept that. Even just thinking about the supposedly negative polar opposite makes me feel revolted and disgusted. Just by writing this I feel that I have been punched in the stomach...Apologies, I probably need to cool my head down, but I am struggling very hard to accept this reality.
Your words are wise an make much sense to me, Approaching Infinity. I understand that, as you have said:

Because if our feelings are sincere, the very fact that we are horrified tells us that we have a conscience. We have an ideal to which we do not live up. And it is in this "between" state that transformation is possible, this confrontation of the higher and the lower, this meeting of two worlds. It is our will that stands between. It is only from this act of Seeing that a choice to use what is in order to become what could be can be made.

I am just struggling with what I see, and the possibility of acceptance seems very dim....but I do believe your words, and although I can't see a path in front of me at this moment, but rather confused shadows, I believe that to be very true.

Thank you for Jacob Needleman's quotes, they are very appropriate. The more I read, the more I think that there are quite a few people out there sharing such a similarity in experiencing the awakening of oneself, that I find that to be truly inspiring!

 

[Gertrudes]

Maybe it's useful to think that precisely because the DCM encompasses ALL - both STS and STO - that (S)He loves you inconditionally, and always will, no matter what you choose to be and do. It is also because DCM includes all manifestations that She is capable of gifting us with free will (to become one of those manifestations).

You are precisely who you are because DCM accepts you as you are. And DCM also allows you to choose to change if you want! Personally I find this thought very positive, reassuring, exciting and liberating.

I hadn't seen it that way....There was an immediate reaction when reading it that made me get a little deeper in my understanding of the problem. I felt angry, very angry at DCM for allowing certain things to be the way they are. I realize that this a purely STS thought. I read what I have just wrote and part of me finds it absurd, as in, how can I be angry at DCM? But truth is I have been storing this feeling inside me without realizing! And now it is getting out, and I am very, very upset and I am crying as I write...

I am very angry for what happens in this world, I don't think it is necessary to go into details for we know well how horrendous things can be. I am angry for the way they are and this anger is being projected at me and at DCM.....I have been angry at God.
I feel that a giant balloon has just exploded and now I am observing all these emotions coming out. I think now I understand the reason for my escalating anger of the last months.
The next step is to learn how to deal with these emotions, reconcile myself with DCM, and with myself. I have a long road ahead...

Despite this outburst of mine, your words make much sense to me Windmill knight and Herondancer. Again, I can understand them well...It is freeing to remember that DCM accepts me exactly as I am. I just need to put these words into practice, meaning, moving them from my intellectual perception of them to the reality of experiencing them, if that makes sense.
I will re read your words, for I feel that I need to really assimilate them.

You are precisely who you are because DCM accepts you as you are. And DCM also allows you to choose to change if you want!

True. I need to read, and remind myself of these words many times.

 

[cubbex]

Hey what's up people!

I have a question, why when I was a beginner of the Eiru Eolas I felt a tikle on my hands, solar plexus throat, feet and face?

Like really getting energy, but this last sessions I don't feel that tikle?

 

[Beau]

Hey what's up people!

I have a question, why when I was a beginner of the Eiru Eolas I felt a tikle on my hands, solar plexus throat, feet and face?

Like really getting energy, but this last sessions I don't feel that tikle?

I think that's normal. I know I can report the same affect. I think it's just your body getting used to the program and the feelings in your body were due to being a beginner to the program. Now that you have some experience with it, the tingling has calmed down. I wouldn't worry that you have "lost" anything because the feelings have subsided.

 

[Learner]

Hi Learner, the Ultra Simple diet is also a good thread to start with: http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=13241.0

The important threads have also invaluable information.

Hello Psyche, I want to thank you for pointing this thread out to me. Will have a look at it, and then on the other threads that are highlighted in the DH-section as well. It came the more to my consciousness, how important it is to accompany the EE-program with a detox program and a sufficient diet. While I had spent some time with my parents recently, my mother noticed, that my body odor was the same to that which would come up while doing a fasting cure. She sometimes does fasting. But I am not doing a fasting cure actually nor did I do so ever before. So it might come from the detox effects, that come along with EE, as some of you have described here. If I did no proper diet, then the body will always contain so many toxins, that EE would have to concentrate a lot on detoxing the body always and could not help that much with detoxing the mind; but not so in case of shared work (i.e detox diet for the body and EE for the mind).
What is my thought actually, is, if EE can retroact from the level of mind to the level of body (in terms of detoxing the mind also has detoxing effects on the body), the other way round can be possible as well: by toxing the body with all kinds of toxic food, that also will have an impact on the mind: one might be more prone to depression and similar mental issues. Or so I think. Don't know, if my point is clear, as it is quite late now in here where I live and I'm pretty tired. But regarding this thought, I think, the detox diet on the physical level will be really helpful for me (as well as for others). There's much on the mental level, that needs to be detoxified - the more I read in the forum and participate in here, and the longer I practise EE, I become aware of so many programs, that have been unconscious to me more or less before. I see those parts in me more clearly, that are narcissistic and ponerized in one or the other way and that is really shocking to me. So I want to support the EE-program with detoxing the body as well. Will see, how that will go.

Hi Alada,

thank you for your reply.

I agree with others that it doesn't matter, you can exchange Divine Cosmic Mind for God or whatever name is more comfortable for you. [...] God will not mind.

As you second Windmill knight's thought here, I now feel the more encouraged to try the POTS with the word "God". I have tried it that way last night. But it still feels a little bit strange, because I learned the POTS by heart with the phrase "Oh Divine Cosmic Mind". Just saying "Oh God - Holy Awareness in All Creation" feels a bit like something is missed (as "God" is shorther then the term "DCM"); so I tried it that way last night: "Oh God, that You are The All-One - Holy Awareness in All Creation [...] The Holiness of True Existence - God, that You are The All-One".

In short, some part of you noticed that using "god" is delimiting... that there is something "outside" god, i.e. ALL consciousness = the "real" god. If you want to substitute a term, try "Holy Spirit".

[/quote]

I would find it very limiting too to use "God". With our monotheistic religions, the term has been attributed such a negative connotation that it would make it really hard for me to feel safe while doing the POTS. I used to refer to God as "The Universe" or "Inconditional Love and Knowledge", and then with the POTS, I now find the Divine Cosmic Mind to include all those. Holy Spirit is much better, IMO, because it is not personified.

Hello Laura and Ailen, thank you both very much for your advice. I will try "Holy Spirit". What I forgot to make clear before, is, I pray the POTS in my own language. The advantage of praying it in my own language is, that I can delve deeper in its understanding also on the emotional level. I can better "feel" the prayer than I can do it in the English version. But the disadvantages are, the programming that comes from cultural background (which also includes language) and from family context jumps in much more strongly and I also do not feel connected to the group that much as it is the case when I try the English version. I am figuring out by now, that "Divine Cosmic Mind" in its English form is not that much the problem, indeed, it really sounds and feels very exalted and also comforting for me. The problem for me is the German translation of this term ("Göttlicher kosmischer Geist"), because in this form it sounds and feels kind of very new-agey to me. In my deepest inside I always felt a very strong aversion against New Age stuff, even if I tried things out. I felt, that it seemed somewhat nebulous and not very substantial. So Laura's demonstration of the matter in SHOTW, that I am actually reading, was not surprising to me that much - but the issue COINTELPRO indeed was. Before I did not imagine that New Age could be the result of such a consciously concerted effort of particular factions on (and above) this planet to conceal substantial things by creating smoke and mirrors. Back to the POTS, that my mind refuses the German equivalent of the term "DCM" is still also due to Christian programming I think, as from a Christian point of view New Age is something that has to be rejected. Therefore, as I was raised by Christian parents, there is an according Christian programming that refuses terms in a prayer (in German language), that are other as "God" and "Jesus" on the one hand and especially terms that sounds new-agey on the other hand. What also comes into play - I regard my parents as very fine people, maybe there is a part in me that does not want to disappoint them by not living the same way in regards to (institutionalized) Christian religion as they do? I think, there is something about that, now that I type it here.

A possible solution would be for me, to continue the EE with the POTS in the English version - as there not so much programming does jump in and I feel more connected to the group, as the English language is the language of this community. But by doing this way I have to adjust my mind and my emotions to the English version of the prayer - so that I can also "feel" it in the English version as I do it in the German one already. But how is this possible?
The other possibility is, to do as Laura has said: to try it with the German equivalent of "Holy Spirit", as this does not interfere with my Christian programs that much. But then I do not feel so connected to the group as otherwise. I just think, as I could feel the English version deeper, the whole prayer, then I could contemplate it with Laura's comforting voice - and that just would be wonderful. I think, that I will break through, regarding this problem concerning DCM/God.
Well, there is much more going on in my mind in these days than I am able to post here. Many things are processing through, I feel. So many thoughts and feelings. Something is really going on. My subconcious mind makes this very clear to me, because I had quite strange dreams in the previous nights. One was, in short, about UFOs in triangular shape and Nephilim "Nordics" however, that tried to put me in line with the system. (I cannot remember to have dreamt of UFOs and alien beings ever before). The other dream was that I have been forced to marry a very powerful, rich man by my father. That man looked pretty much like I always imagined Nero, the Roman emperor. He was not even eager to go to bed with me, he just wanted to possess and terrorize me. Before the day of marriage I tried to run away and friends were helping me. But that man caught me, before I could escape and he promised me to punish me severely. Then I woke up.
I also cannot remember to have had such kind of dream before. Will observe further.

The next step is to learn how to deal with these emotions, reconcile myself with DCM, and with myself. I have a long road ahead...

Hello Gertrudes,

I have read your posts about what you are going through at the moment. It seems, you actually process something really big. But regarding your last post it seems to me like you have released pretty much of it by now. Therefore I think, the way to reconcile yourself with DCM and with yourself would not be that long. Because you reflect about it in context of this network, I now think you will reconcile with DCM much faster as you presume at the moment. That's what is applying to me: Reflecting about my own issue regarding the Divine Cosmic Mind helps me to process it much faster than it would have been otherwise.
I also agree with herondancer and Windmill knight, that DCM/God (however you put it) loves you unconditionally all the way - why I write that is, that I experienced it myself in the last two years before and then encountering EE; when I really succeeded to contemplate in it, aside from my mind fussing about names of God and other things, then I could really feel that love and felt unconditionally accepted with all my programs, faults, anger, sadness, flaws, etc. I felt, I could just be how I really am. So I think, DCM still loves you unconditionally, however much angry you would be with it and will love you forever in that way, no matter what you choose. That are just my thoughts from some time of two years of conscious experiences with it.

 

[aragorn]

Hey what's up people!

I have a question, why when I was a beginner of the Eiru Eolas I felt a tikle on my hands, solar plexus throat, feet and face?

Like really getting energy, but this last sessions I don't feel that tikle?

Hi cubbex. In my experience one of the pitfalls in this type of 'body/spiritual work' is that one starts to anticipate and long for those big and strong releasing sensations. It is easy to become sort of 'addicted' to those sensations. And as you probably know, once you start anticipating progress, you hinder the natural flow of things. So my advice would be: be patient, it's like peeling a big onion; sometimes there are 'big moments' when you move to the next layer, sometimes it may feel that not that much is happening. But the important thing is to still keep going!

 

[Bo]

Hey what's up people!

I have a question, why when I was a beginner of the Eiru Eolas I felt a tikle on my hands, solar plexus throat, feet and face?

Like really getting energy, but this last sessions I don't feel that tikle?

Hi cubbex. In my experience one of the pitfalls in this type of 'body/spiritual work' is that one starts to anticipate and long for those big and strong releasing sensations. It is easy to become sort of 'addicted' to those sensations. And as you probably know, once you start anticipating progress, you hinder the natural flow of things. So my advice would be: be patient, it's like peeling a big onion; sometimes there are 'big moments' when you move to the next layer, sometimes it may feel that not that much is happening. But the important thing is to still keep going!

Hi cubbex

those are common side-effects of hyper-ventilation, this can also make you not feel your arms or legs.

 

[forge]

Pipe Breath Smokers

At the workplace i became used to 'smoke' via Pipe Breathing. Without a cigarette, no smoke no fumes. When tired or need to concentrate i have fallen into the habit of simply start to 'smoke' by Pipe Breathing.

It relaxes, clears the mind, helps to think and because i stimulate the vagus nerve it releases Acetylcholine (ACh), which stimulates my brain creating the thinking-boosting effects of smoking. Since Laura mentioned that smoking boosts thinking by almost 75% i always sought a way to have that benefit.

Think about this:
- How many times have you been helped by Laura and the Chateau Team and QFG?
- What would your life without their findings and publications be?