Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[strategic enclosure]

Well, today I am not feeling sad but am feeling mad (in the North American sense).

Thank you, everyone, for your input; even if I have not responded directly to you, I have found it to be very helpful.

The consensus seems to be to aim to continue with E.E. at a level that I can stand without it becoming overwhelming. Also, I should adjust my E.E. practice as I go depending on how I am feeling rather than rigidly sticking to a routine. However, I should bear my suffering as best I can and continue to do what is in front of me.

Now to put it into practice! Sorry Beatha, I think that you might have to wait a while!

 

[strategic enclosure]

I have slipped into not doing E.E. again, not even POTS before bed. However, I have just done 3SB, WB and full POTS and am very glad I did as it was preceded by something interesting that I thought I might share.

I had a good night's sleep and was feeling well-rested which was welcome as I have been unusually active socially for me recently and had been feeling rather tired. Then, however, I was hit by a profound feeling of unworthiness. It was prompted by me seeing pictures of a terribly handsome gentleman online. This particular feeling is not unknown to me; it has plagued me before many times. It left me feeling upset and anxious and, well, like I had been pressed down and become less than I was hitherto.

I can rationalise it away as being a legacy of my childhood environment, upbringing and experiences. There are plenty of examples I could give that would make sense that one might have this issue. Also, I have thought for many years that I have attachments that are not exactly working in my best interests. Normally when this happens to me it leaves me very low and it has taken in the past days if not weeks to pull myself out of it. Today, however, as I was mulling all of this over I started to get angry at it because it felt like it was something being done to me and I wanted to defend myself. I told it to 'go away and leave me alone' in not exactly a polite way. Then I had a wash and shave and tidied my personal appearance up in a way that one would if one was preparing for a date. Then I did E.E. as I said above and that has left me feeling calm and determined not to let this thought form or whatever it is push me down and keep me down so I can't get on with the work I need to do on myself and my life. Where the attachments are concerned I need to make hanging around me unpalatable for them so that they will leave me and that requires me to continue and improve on the work that I am already doing in that respect. Getting back to regular E.E. will certainly help.

This feels like a big step for me. Getting angry with it and doing something practical to pull myself out of it instead of just passively accepting it as it descends upon me is quite the change for me. Now that I have done it I know that I can so hopefully it shall be easier next time.

 

[Nienna]

Where the attachments are concerned I need to make hanging around me unpalatable for them so that they will leave me and that requires me to continue and improve on the work that I am already doing in that respect. Getting back to regular E.E. will certainly help.

This feels like a big step for me. Getting angry with it and doing something practical to pull myself out of it instead of just passively accepting it as it descends upon me is quite the change for me. Now that I have done it I know that I can so hopefully it shall be easier next time.

This is excellent, strategic enclosure! I'm very happy for you and your progress. You may even want to write the above that I quoted down on a piece of paper and carry it with you, or put it in a place where it is easily accessible and easy to read. Then, when something else happens to bring you low, and/or before doing EE, read this again and keep it in mind.

Onwards and upwards!

 

[iamthatis]

I am reminded of why I have been avoiding doing anything other than POTS recently. I feel awful; deeply sad and terribly fragile. I feel crushed by life and reality. None of this is unknown to me sadly but I have been so much better in myself over recent months so I am not enjoying this very much.

How does one cope with this and still do E.E.? I am reminded of JBP's advice to bear one's suffering as best as one can and to just get on with things. Here, we say: 'do what is in front of you' too. Emotionally and psychologically I feel like I want to curl up into a foetal position and make everything just go away but that's not going to help.

IIRC Laura says in one of the E.E. videos that 'most people have oceans of sadness within them' or something similar. I would welcome some input from those who have had a similar reaction to E.E. as I have. Some practical advice would be appreciated. If I bear my suffering as best I can, do what is in front of me as best I can and keep doing E.E. as best I can, will that help? Will E.E. gradually release all this horrible baggage that I am clearly carrying around with me?

Hey, thank you for your sharing. I have also found sadness within recently - intense, and powerful - as I have began a more regular EE practice. To me, I think that you are doing well. Your grief shows progress. An apt metaphor for me is that as the tree of knowledge grows taller into the light, the roots grow deeper into the darkness. It sounds like you are at what may be called 'the wild edge of sorrow'.

There is much grief in these times. As I open myself, and look at the world without blinking, I'm registering more and more signals of grief - the internal and the external. The practice for me is finding a way to express grief - and not become a container of it. To become a transducer of it. I like to drum and sing, and sometimes will do this for a prolonged period of time until a certain 'something' comes loose and tears begin to flow. At times, this can transform the grief into praise, which is its hidden twin.

How do you express yourself in art? This may be a key for you to access grief and let it flow. Take care, and keep a good heart.

 

[Abats]

After starting a few EE sessions in 2016, I stopped and resumed around November 20, 2019. My practice has been regular for 5 months now. I do the program almost every day except the Baha part only twice a week on Monday and Thursday (otherwise I shift one day when it is not possible). I don't practice the warrior's breath because the walls of my apartment are made of cardboard ^^

Here's what happened when I took over the program the first few sessions:
drunkenness, heat, tingling, eyes burning as if salt had been poured over them...
Well-being after the session, a dreadful desire to eat and sleep
tiredness feelings of exhaustion and the impression of seeing plasma balls with closed eyes colliding (like amoebas)

Subsequent sessions have caused this to happen, particularly in December:
Sensation of heat like pulses including in the palms of my hands, body heating, sweating, muscle spasm in the back of my leg behind and to the lower right of my rib cage.
The impression of moving from left to right, of turning on myself while I'm lying down.
The eyes no longer sting and tears flow instead.

I've noticed that during POTS in particular, my feet get warm (I very often have cold feet and that prevents me from sleeping), I sometimes saw with my eyes closed something that looks like a blue light but it's very blurry, it looks more like a sharp contrast. Tingling sensation in the Thymus, yawning that tend to repeat itself.

At the beginning of my sessions, especially the Baha, I had the impression that my rib cage had bricks on it, but as the sessions went on, this feeling went away.

Today EE brings me an olympic calm, my anger no longer exists (you really have to push me far to make me angry but now it's very rare) I still have the feeling of heat, tingling with sweating sometimes, my dreams seem clearer and more alive (the first dreams were really very violent and I even wondered if they were really dreams) I didn't have any crying fits, intense crying, or visions of sharp colors as some have reported, on the visible surface let's say they don't really seem to happen but I continue to practice every day. Maybe I have already dealt with a lot of things inside me, or maybe I need more time. I don't really have any real expectations when doing the program, I just ask to connect to the network on Mondays and Thursdays.

 

[PERLOU]

J'aimerai bien des réunions pour faire EE tous ensemble...

I'd like some meetings to do EE all together...

 

[strategic enclosure]

I had a lovely E.E. session this afternoon. It was the first time I had done the full program in a while and I felt the need for it today. It was so lovely with the sunshine that I sat just outside my flat and enjoyed the lovely weather. There was a real nip in the air but I wrapped up and got to it. I had both of my baby boys (cats) with me so it was really lovely all round. I have a sore throat and head cold as a legacy of the virus I have had recently so really enjoyed the Warrior's Breath and Beatha sections. My throat felt tight so I got enthusiastic about the exhalation part of those exercises and that helped to ease it. I expect my throat chakra is a bit blocked at the moment. Unsurprising given the current state of the world. I am hopeful that it will be nice again tomorrow so I can have another session. Some good weather would be very welcome right now.

 

[Blacki]

After a long time, about 4-6 year I have come back to Breathing with EE.

I have been praying EE for a long time but without breathing.

I just started again learn from EE Online And I must say it helps a lot, interesting that in this Lockdown some people ask do I have "tool" to release stress. My answer for them is EE, maybe some of them will start practicing breathing.

I am after PT2 thyroid cancer surgery, 1 year ago, then sometimes it is hard for me to breathe with a tight throat of "haaa".

What is interesting for me, breathing with EE introduced an interesting change, I started to think about breathing and about the perception of reality in everyday life. As if there was peace from the inside, it's hard for me to define.

 

[Nico]

I too came into deeper bubbles of myself and I try to make sense of it. And I feel complete madness and hard concrete wall of protection, but I would say that what is hard for us is the beginning of something to explore and develop further. The fool is the first step when one is going into the unknown said Jordan Peterson.
I greatly appreciate what you said iamthatis about ways to express the grief we felt inside of us, to give a shape to the madness and then to let it go. I struggle with putting a shape to that grief, I mean something satisfying that is completely felt and permitted to be release.
To get the most of these lunatic periods, i think it's good to work on the land, to do a manual activity which channel this unused creative energies. I found thinking, reading and organizing my thoughts and knowledge to be also really good for the mind.

 

[cassandra]

OK, I've been doing EE for about 10 days, the round breathing twice a week. For about 3/4 of a year I have suffered various aches and pains, suffering from chronic fatigue most of my life. I'm an emotional person, and have suffered anxiety until recently.

So I've changed my diet, but it was so hard for me to give up chocolates and cakes. I read one benefit of EE is having fewer cravings, which so far is true. Hope that one lasts!

Also, I feel calmer and stronger, more able to pull myself back and simply observe, but that is something I've been working on for some time anyway. I still think i EE helps to keep me calm, steadier, more objective and stronger. My aches and pains have improved greatly, I have more energy. I also started the vitamin C regimen, so I expect that helps, too.

I feel a bit - hard to describe, a little high or drunk, but with clarity. My hands, legs, arms and feet feel a bit numb, my body more oxygenated and tingly. My stomach muscles are having a good workout with this, so I have more control over my breathing.

The WB feels great, I feel frustration lift, braver, like a warrior indeed.
The meditation is powerful, but I need to observe the effects a bit longer. I'm not sure if I zone out or fall asleep. Once I woke myself up snoring, so... Anyway, so far, so brilliant.

Thank you so much! I will report further progress soon.