Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[Aliana]

from Laura
“Be patient! It was only after a couple of full months that I even had significant action. And remember, I wasn't EXPECTING anything! I was just doing it to help with my stress and also to learn to discipline my mind and control my thoughts. […] Meditating is like lifting weights with your mind - it gets stronger cumulatively. Depending on what you start with, it can take more or less time to accumulate the "mental strength" to move over that "barrier."

Thank you, thank you, once again!

Since last week was so “easy”, I thought I was on some kind of roll. HA! Now I am back to feeling exhausted and sad. All the little “I’s” are piping up during the meditation – clearly uninterested in focusing – so while I think I am progressing, “they” apparently have other ideas. And then there are those increasing moments of seeing the dark parts of my personality that are so appalling. Makes me wonder if I am really up to this….or just an OP with ambitions. It’s soo demoralizing. After spending so many years searching for something REAL – I now find myself wondering if I really have the “right stuff”. I hope this is part of the process….arghhh!!!

 

[Laura]

Since last week was so “easy”, I thought I was on some kind of roll. HA! Now I am back to feeling exhausted and sad. All the little “I’s” are piping up during the meditation – clearly uninterested in focusing – so while I think I am progressing, “they” apparently have other ideas. And then there are those increasing moments of seeing the dark parts of my personality that are so appalling. Makes me wonder if I am really up to this….or just an OP with ambitions. It’s soo demoralizing. After spending so many years searching for something REAL – I now find myself wondering if I really have the “right stuff”. I hope this is part of the process….arghhh!!!

Yup, all of that is the"predator." The "oh, give up..." being whispered seductively in your ear...

Don't worry, been there, done that - more than once. Here's a clip from a session when I was there:

15 April 1995

{...}
Q: (L) The other night when we were working without Frank,
we got some information that indicated that Frank was in
danger via the government. Is that true or was that true?
A: Partly.
Q: (L) What is the source of this danger?
A: Source?
Q: (L) I mean like, the IRS, the FBI, the CIA, or what?
A: Not initialled as such.
Q: (L) Is this physical danger or just harassment danger?
A: Mind attack for purpose of self-destruction.
Q: (L) Is there anything that can be done to shield against
this kind of attack?
A: Yes.
Q: (L) What can be done for shielding?
A: Knowledge input on a continuous basis.
Q: (L) And what form should this knowledge take? Does this
mean channeled information, books, videos, what?
A: All and other.
Q: (L) A specific other?
A: Networking of information now, warning!!! All others will
very soon experience great increase of same type of
attack, two of you have had episodes in past from same
source for similar reasons, but now your association puts
you in different category!! Remember all channels and
those of similar make-up are identified, tracked, and
"dealt with."
Q: (T) Which two have experienced similar types of attack?
A: Up to you to identify for learning.
Q: (J) I'm pretty sure I'm one of them because I have been
way down mentally and emotionally. (T) Is Jan one of the
two? (J) I know I'm one.
A: Suicidal thoughts?
Q: (L) Have you had suicidal thoughts? (J) No.
(T) Not me. (Frank) I have had them constantly. (T)
Laura, did you? (L) I was pretty damn low. I wasn't
contemplating suicide, I was just thinking how nice it
would be if we could just turn out the lights and end the
illusion. (T) Okay, so we have identified the two, you
and Frank. (L) So, in other words Jan, it is going to
get worse. {...}

Notice that this was after the cleansing event of the previous February. I'm tallin' ya, because of the situation (disintegrating marriage, responsibility for children, poor health, etc) I was in, it was one hell of a struggle to go on day after day.

But I managed to keep reading, to keep doing the sessions - my curiosity didn't go completely dormant - and that was like hanging on by a thread.

Remember, also, Castaneda's take on it: that it requires discipline to force the "flyer's mind" to flee.

"They [the sorcerers of ancient Mexico]discovered that we have a companion for life. We have a predator that came from the depths of the cosmos and took over the rule of our lives. Human beings are its prisoners. The predator is our lord and master. It has rendered us docile, helpless. If we want to protest, it suppresses our protest. If we want to act independently, it demands that we don't do so."

{...}

"I want to appeal to your analytical mind. . Think for a moment, and tell me how you would explain the contradiction between the intelligence of man the engineer and the stupidity of his systems of beliefs, or the stupidity of his contradictory behavior. Sorcerers believe that the predators have given us our systems of beliefs, our ideas of good and evil, our social mores. They are the ones who set up our hopes and expectations and dreams of success or failure. They have given us covetousness, greed, and cowardice. It is the predators who make us complacent, routinary, and egomaniacal."

{...}

The predators give us their mind, which becomes our mind. The predators' mind is baroque, contradictory, morose, filled with the fear of being discovered any minute now. "I know that even though you have never suffered hunger, you have food anxiety, which is none other than the anxiety of the predator who fears that any moment now its maneuver is going to be uncovered and food is going to be denied. Through the mind, which, after all, is their mind, the predators inject into the lives of human beings whatever is convenient for them. And they ensure, in this manner, a degree of security to act as a buffer against their fear."

{...}

'[The sorcerers of ancient Mexico] reasoned that man must have been a complete being at one point, with stupendous insights, feats of awareness that are mythological legends nowadays. And then everything seems to disappear, and we have now a sedated man." […]

what we have against us is not a simple predator. It is very smart, and organized. It follows a methodical system to render us useless. Man, the magical being that he is destined to be, is no longer magical. He's an average piece of meat. There are no more dreams for man but the dreams of an animal who is being raised to become a piece of meat: trite, conventional, imbecilic." […]

"The only alternative left for mankind," he continued, "is discipline. Discipline is the only deterrent. But by discipline I don't mean harsh routines. I don't mean waking up every morning at five-thirty and throwing cold water on yourself until you're blue. Sorcerers understand discipline as the capacity to face with serenity odds that are not included in our expectations. For them, discipline is an art: the art of facing infinity without flinching, not because they are strong and tough but because they are filled with awe.') "Sorcerers say that discipline makes the glowing coat of awareness unpalatable to the flyer," […]

"The grand trick of those sorcerers of ancient times, was to burden the flyers' mind with discipline. They found out that if they taxed the flyers' mind with inner silence, the foreign installation would flee, giving to any one of the practitioners involved in this maneuver the total certainty of the mind's foreign origin. The foreign installation comes back, I assure you, but not as strong, and a process begins in which the fleeing of the flyers' mind becomes routine, until one day it flees permanently. A sad day indeed! That's the day when you have to rely on your own devices, which are nearly zero. There's no one to tell you what to do. There's no mind of foreign origin to dictate the imbecilities you're accustomed to. "My teacher, the nagual Julian, used to warn all his disciples," don Juan continued, "that this was the toughest day in a sorcerer's life, for the real mind that belongs to us, the sum total of our experience, after a lifetime of domination has been rendered shy, insecure, and shifty. Personally, I would say that the real battle of sorcerers begins at that moment. The rest is merely preparation." "The flyers' mind flees forever," he said, "when a sorcerer succeeds in grabbing on to the vibrating force that holds us together as a conglomerate of energy fields. If a sorcerer maintains that pressure long enough, the flyers' mind flees in defeat. And that's exactly what you are going to do: hold on to the energy that binds you together."

 

[Laurentien2]

Here, I will like to share whit you the emotional turmoil I experienced this week and how it ended last night after the breathing session. But first I will like to thank Rhino and Biomast for their post in the swamp that helped me identify the predator is mind that was at play in me as well.

First I had a very lucid dream Monday, I woke up feeling the presence of someone or something in the room and I got up on my feet in a instant. I started looking around but couldn't see any thing but the feeling of not been alone was so strong that I needed to do something. What I did was a attempt to project energy out of my hand around the room, why I don't know, but I realized that I was either dreaming or out of my body. Then all went dark for what I thought was but a moment but I was no longer in my room but outside in the driveway curled in a ball on the asphalt. My first thought at that moment was "what have they done", still in that semiconscious state, I when back to my room and back to sleep.

I didn't thing much of the dream upon waking up Tuesday and pushed it out of my thought. Some other thing that happened this week after that dream was severe back pain that started in the lower vertebra and slowly moving up all week to be felt yesterday all along my spine. Also, I suffered from constipation which I rarely do. Well nothing new for back ache, they come and go all the time and maybe the magnesium supplement that I am taking for the last few week is responsible for the other problem.

Anyway, I also felt in the past few month that I was more and more in control of my emotion, that I wasn't responding to the old program as usual an on the rare occasion that I lost my control, I will follow it to it root and identify it. I came to identify them quickly and stop them right at the beginning. But in the past few weeks, I felt some irritability coming from reading on the forum but couldn't pin point the reason that I felt it or why this or that thought will pop up in my mind, it was a bizarre feeling that something was trying to steer me away from the forum. This week, I also felt that I couldn't lower my guard for a moment, that reason to release negative emotion where coming from every where and everyone. I succeeded and got trough it but last night it came all crashing down on me.

I started the breathing program later then usual and was tired, I was awoke by my 2D companion at 5:00 am yesterday morning because my daughter put the alarm on her portable clock and left it in the bathroom. It woke up the dog which in turn woke me and I couldn't go back to sleep. Tiredness told me to go to sleep but I wasn't going to miss a Thursday session, no way. All when well until the BA HA breathing, there I couldn't stop the voice anymore, it started by attacking Laura and the program, what do you expect to gain by doing this, do you really thing that you can save the world etc etc. It when like that, attacking here and there forum member and I was struggling to stop it but then, I remembered Laura is post from yesterday and decided to let it come out and knew now who was shouting to be heard, thank to Rhino and Biomast I recognized my predator mind. Go ahead give it your best shot, I thought, I'm listening. It try to stop me first from doing the program to stop me from listening and go to sleep, it did not succeed, so it continue by attacking at random forum member the work etc. but didn't succeed, the it when to what I call a soul bashing, a self mutilation of the soul if I can say, attacking my self esteem that I was nothing, that my life was a joke, that I was only doing this because I couldn't face the outside world that I was weak and he even went as far as suggesting the final act. WOW! It when on like that until the end of the meditation in which a was zoning out often but always a part of me was trying to hear Laura voice trough the "voice" of the predator is mind.

When the program finished I got up and when outside for a cigarette. It was a clear night and cassiopaea greeted me whit all her splendor. I sat there looking at the stars and felt insignificantly small, the predator was still present but I could see that he as not much else to trow at me and nothing new. This was the same old salad, that same old bread that he as served me for a good portion of my life, that same old self destruct program that he brought last year before I met Laura on the net. Can he really thing that I will fall for this again! Doesn't he remember how close I was to the abyss last year and that he never succeeded to break the last life line I was holding on. That this life line is now unbreakable in me, but of course he doesn't know it because it is call LOVE. I got up to my bed still hearing echo of the predator mind, before finally laughing in his face and asking him is that it, is this all you can do. I turned on my side and felt asleep til morning. A good 8 hours of sleep.

This morning I was no longer suffering from constipation and my back is much better. I did my usual walk in the mountain whit my 2D friend, did my breathing exercise at the refuge but couldn't meditate because my friend wanted to go walk some more and she wouldn't stop licking my face.

What lessons come out for me from this, is that the lizzies don't like to be put on a regime ,

 

[Richs]

Thanks Laurentien!

And, I laughed pretty good at this:

What lessons come out for me from this, is that the lizzies don't like to be put on a regime

 

[Helle]

"The grand trick of those sorcerers of ancient times, was to burden the flyers' mind with discipline. They found out that if they taxed the flyers' mind with inner silence, the foreign installation would flee, giving to any one of the practitioners involved in this maneuver the total certainty of the mind's foreign origin. The foreign installation comes back, I assure you, but not as strong, and a process begins in which the fleeing of the flyers' mind becomes routine, until one day it flees permanently. A sad day indeed! That's the day when you have to rely on your own devices, which are nearly zero. There's no one to tell you what to do. There's no mind of foreign origin to dictate the imbecilities you're accustomed to. "My teacher, the nagual Julian, used to warn all his disciples," don Juan continued, "that this was the toughest day in a sorcerer's life, for the real mind that belongs to us, the sum total of our experience, after a lifetime of domination has been rendered shy, insecure, and shifty. Personally, I would say that the real battle of sorcerers begins at that moment. The rest is merely preparation."

So this is why I feel as I do? Shy, insecure, shifty and almost unable to keep it together? Because I have to LEARN it from scratch? Never thought about it that way.

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.

I choose to make myself strong, allthough I FEEL miserable.

 

[Ollie]

An update on my experiences, since my last post on this topic.

The swallowing 'interruption' has gone, the yawning is still there in the pipe-breathing and in the Ba-Ha breathing.

The Ba-Ha starts my eyes watering and by the end of the meditation my eyes are running for a while.

What I have noticed since I switched from doing the full breathing-meditation programme most nights to just Monday and Thursday is that I wake up in the middle of the night and lie there with all sorts of thoughts going through mind for a while. For the usually nocternal visits (several) to the bathroom I normally fall straight back to sleep. Last night the swirling thoughts were all forum related and will come out in several posts.

Also, for the past two weeks or so I have had mild constipation, which I have controlled by overdosing with Vit C. This constipation could be due to detoxing, sauna, supplements or meditation (Prayer of the Soul) every night. Checking this out with my unconscious mind, the answer is that it is the meditation that is causing it.

Now, from Louise Hay (You can heal your life) constipation refers to: release of old ideas; stuck in the past; and sometimes stinginess. Lise Bourbeau (Your body's telling you: Love yoursef!):

Emotional block
'... release of old ideas being carried around'; '... lack of expressing one's ideas or feelings for fear of displeasing others, being wrong, or risking loss of something or someone.'; 'If you are stingy or attached to material things, you probably have difficulty in letting go physically as well. ... when you feel you are being forced to part with your coveted time or money. ... would have preferred to hold on to them.'; '... stress brought onby an inability to let go of a past incident, which importance has since been exaggerated by dark thougths or feelings of anger, frustration, suspicion, humiliation or jealousy.'

Mental block
'... your body is giving you a powerful message that it's time to let go! Stale ideas and old belief systems will accumulate and eventually poisin you, so 'out with the old and in with the new! ... Don't restrain yourself any longer with fear of losing someone or something. It would be worth it to find out if you would truly be a loser if you expressed yourself or did what you want.'

So, it would appear that the Predator's mind is hanging on for it's 'dear' life. Also, is this a control issue? I'll post more on that in another thread. And, from the last comment in the Mental block, I've been further pushed to up my postings on the forum.

And, thank you Laura for the post on clearing stuff (part 2, (and 3 with Castaneda)):

There are several clues in the above session about cleaning/moving towards 4D process.

So, I hope this helps some of you to know some of the things that can happen and how to cope with it. Just remeber, this stuff that is living inside YOU ... and you can either clear it out, or continue to stuff it and remain as you are. It's a choice.

But from where I sit, it sure was worth it!

Effect-wise, fortunately, I don't see myself as a driver!

 

[Lizziespreparetogovegan]

I cried during the Monday Night session of the day we found out Victoria/Pepperfritz died. I remember waking up the next morning, and for a very small amount of time, my mind was utterly clear.

Having done the program a few times a week now for the last 8 weeks I would add that the session dedicated to Pepperfritz was by far the most intense for me. I was really sobbing throughout the entire session. As a male who has probably sat comfortably in his stereotype for all his adult life, I must confess to only having cried on maybe 2-3 occasions in the last 18 years and even these occasions were restricted and inhibited by my false sense of shame for doing so. The crying I did during this session just felt so damn good. It felt as if this was exactly what I had needed for so many years and finally I could let it out. I could have happily wept for the rest of life and was actually quite upset when the Ba Ha portion came to an end and my crying naturally ceased.

I also had a very intense flashback during the Ba Ha breathing to when I was a child. It's difficult to really explain but for a few moments I remembered myself as a child, perhaps 3 or 4. It was such a powerful memory that I would almost say that I WAS that child again for a moment and it was really quite beautiful. strange because I actually had quite an unhappy childhood and do not generally remember it fondly at all.

I would also echo your experience of feeling incredibly 'clear' emotionally and physically the morning after.

By fille des bois

Hi everybody

Thank you Laura for taking the time to explain to all of us the process and the changes in your life that you attibute to the clainsing of your body, and your head

. This describing is so intens, so vivid that it's difficult for me to tell my first little confrontation with emotional problem.

Aan the beginning of my experience with the breathing programa, I had sometimes what it is called a zoning out . But since a week, I am

overcome by aan intence felling of despair, i begin to cry and i can't stop during the prayer .

I apologize to be so negatief but i think i am not alone in this difficult time

Fille des bois

If you read through this thread you'll see that many of us have had similar and other distressing experiences since starting the program. I myself spent a day in bed, physically incapacitated after one of my early meditations with a chronic depression that lasted 8-9 hours and was having some of the darkest thoughts I've had for many years. Bearing in mind the contrast of my very positive experience I've described above, all we can glean is that the program is somewhat of a rollercoaster ride!

I think that what's really crucial for anyone experiencing such feelings of despair throughout the difficult parts of the program is to really hold on to the thought that the pain WILL cease at some point and is merely transitory. I think whilst in the depths of despair such as being curled up and crying as Laura has described, the predators mind deceives us into thinking that we have always felt this way and always will. When you're in the eye of the storm so to speak it may seem that there is no way out. Of course this is false and so it is vital to hold on to the thought that the experience is transitory and absolutely will dissipate at some point. When we look at the achievments Laura has made after being in the eye of the storm, there is geat testament to this truth.

By Laurentien

This was the same old salad, that same old bread that he as served me for a good portion of my life, that same old self destruct program that he brought last year

I feel the same way Laurentien. The predators mind uses the same old technique again and again: 'You're worthless, you can't do it'. I have heard this voice my whole life but I am finally starting to realise that it is a lie and that the only response is the truth: that of ACTION. Not 'I can' because 'can' only involves potential. The answer to the Lie can only be ACTION: Not 'I can' but 'I do'. Participating in this breathing program has been a turning point for me in this respect. I have not heard the 'you're worthless, you can't do it' voice for the last few months because I AM doing it. I AM breathing, I AM meditating, I AM eating a Gluten free diet (only for 4 days but I feel great :) ) and I AM examining how I can further the work on myself. The lie disapears as soon as action is comenced and we become living proof that this aspect of the predators mind is one of falsehood. There is much work to be done, no doubt for all of us but I believe that much action even in the eye of the storm will bring great rewards. It really is a case of Just do it!

 

[bjorb]

[quote author=Laura]And remember, I wasn’t EXPECTING anything![/quote]

Not expecting anything! That surely is I think most important when undertaking ‘the work.’ It's a way to remain calm, because actions would only cause to start programs. Which will distract you. Not expecting anything is best to observe oneself.

Anyway Richard S, Laura thanks for responding.

 

[theos]

All when well until the BA HA breathing, there I couldn't stop the voice anymore, it started by attacking Laura and the program, what do you expect to gain by doing this, do you really thing that you can save the world etc etc. It when like that, attacking here and there forum member and I was struggling to stop it but then, I remembered Laura is post from yesterday and decided to let it come out and knew now who was shouting to be heard, thank to Rhino and Biomast I recognized my predator mind. Go ahead give it your best shot, I thought, I'm listening. It try to stop me first from doing the program to stop me from listening and go to sleep, it did not succeed, so it continue by attacking at random forum member the work etc. but didn't succeed, the it when to what I call a soul bashing, a self mutilation of the soul if I can say, attacking my self esteem that I was nothing, that my life was a joke, that I was only doing this because I couldn't face the outside world that I was weak and he even went as far as suggesting the final act. WOW! It when on like that until the end of the meditation in which a was zoning out often but always a part of me was trying to hear Laura voice trough the "voice" of the predator is mind.

A similar thing happened to me. It was in the time between first learning the pipe breathing technique but before the Eirui-Eolas program debuted. I was sitting at my computer reading posts on the forum after practicing the pipe breathing and this voice, the predator's voice, really started letting my have it. I was being cursed out in grand style. It seems that every hateful thing I've ever thought about myself ...nothing was spared...my physical appearance, my lack of intellect, every stupid or shameful thing I'd ever done in my entire life, how I was worthless. Who did I think I was trying this new stuff? I'm too stupid to do anything. I can't meditate. I can't advance. I'm just faking everything. I'm not learning. I'll fail. I'll get nowhere. It was like I was being threatened at some point. This went on for a good 45 minutes to an hour. At the end I was crying and felt quite awful but recognized it for what it was in a way but some part of me was wondering if the voice would ever go away or if I'd finally been afflicted with the family curse: certified mental illness. I was afraid it would keep coming back. I went to sleep and felt better in the morning and it's never happened that forcefully again.

Also, during the times that I do have crying spells during the breathing I get flashes of scenes from my childhood. A neighbors house I used to play in, an elementary school classroom, people I knew as a child. Nothing particularly threatening but sometimes I can hear myself saying, "no, no, no" over and over again then the sobbing starts.

Strange times.

 

[gaman]

I have had about 2 weeks of "calm" in one way -- emotionally. At first I was worried that I had just shut down again but then later I felt some emotions that prior to some months ago would have been alien to me. The only lifestyle thing different is starting the Ultrasimple diet 2-3 weeks ago.

I cried a lot when PepperFritz died but that was the last time. I had cried a couple of times before that. Once was for me as a child but I wasn't sure if that falls into self-pity.

I've had some wierd things happening around me (not supernaturally obvious, just wierd stuff malfunctioning and one dangerous situation) but no more emotional surges or releases that I can detect.

So I've been a little worried about the extended calm being some blind spot blocking cleansing, but I'm not discouraged. I just wanted to report this in case others are having the same calm spell.

 

[kenlee]

So I've been a little worried about the extended calm being some blind spot blocking cleansing, but I'm not discouraged. I just wanted to report this in case others are having the same calm spell.

Right, no need to get discouraged since I think your crying is an emotional release (in an overall process) and the calmness afterwards might be because of that. The calmness might also be an ‘active calm’ where your in a more 'able state' to allow something to happen within and your body is also in a more able state to receive something, perhaps a different kind of energy, a finer energy coming from something higher within you.

But I think there’s another kind of calm that can be experienced where we can calm ourselves with a reality that's created and projected from wishful thinking, internal considering, and strong beliefs about ourselves so as to reinforce the wishful thinking. In this case I think it would be more like a dead or hypnotic calm. So, imo, this is where the higher value of discernment comes in, knowing the taste of our different psychological states and being able to identify them and knowing more about where they come from within ourselves, whether they come from our deeper parts where we are more conscious and where we can recognize our deep need to Work or in the more mechanical, fractional parts of ourselves that just wants to feel good.

After doing the breathing program for several weeks I have noticed that throughout the day my breathing will sometimes adjust itself to tense or pressing situations. It’s not always this way but it’s enough for me to notice it. Although I’m calmer, the tensions, the battle within, is still felt in different life situations, almost as if there is a battle of some kind going on between one part of me that is more aware and wants to ‘relax within the storm’ and knows just how to do it (more or less), and another part that wants to get caught up in the madness of the world. But what I have noticed is that my body has become more intelligent about it all.

For example if I’m feeling negative (anger, depression, irritation, body pains and so on) my body will (sometimes) automatically start to exhale the air out of my lungs, fully, and then my thinking brain calms down, my body relaxes, and begins to breathe from the belly to refill my lungs fully with air. It wasn’t like that before! When my breathing was choppy before I would have to consciously sit and relax to breathe deeper. But now my body knows! So when I feel tense my body will (pretty much) know what to do and strive to correct that other ‘self’ in me that wants to breathe erratically. My emotional state can change with the changing of states of my body and my thoughts. It’s as if the breathing program is creating another self in me that is more intelligent and will strive to help and work with me to become more aware and relaxed when things get chaotic.

 

[moonwalker]

"The grand trick of those sorcerers of ancient times, was to burden the flyers' mind with discipline. They found out that if they taxed the flyers' mind with inner silence, the foreign installation would flee, giving to any one of the practitioners involved in this maneuver the total certainty of the mind's foreign origin. The foreign installation comes back, I assure you, but not as strong, and a process begins in which the fleeing of the flyers' mind becomes routine, until one day it flees permanently. A sad day indeed! That's the day when you have to rely on your own devices, which are nearly zero. There's no one to tell you what to do. There's no mind of foreign origin to dictate the imbecilities you're accustomed to. "My teacher, the nagual Julian, used to warn all his disciples," don Juan continued, "that this was the toughest day in a sorcerer's life, for the real mind that belongs to us, the sum total of our experience, after a lifetime of domination has been rendered shy, insecure, and shifty. Personally, I would say that the real battle of sorcerers begins at that moment. The rest is merely preparation."

So this is why I feel as I do? Shy, insecure, shifty and almost unable to keep it together? Because I have to LEARN it from scratch? Never thought about it that way.

Hi Helle,
Could you clarify something for me? From what you wrote above do you think you might have removed the predators mind, the foreign installation? Not that it's impossible, it just quite a bold statement to make. (If that's what your saying.)
edit grammar

 

[KC Kelly]

This past Monday (Labor Day) we had company and could not do breathing program. Tuesday wife stayed home from work not feeling well, and I didn't want to freak her out with the warriors breath while she was trying to rest. So I did program both Wed. and Thurs. trying to either get "caught up" or "accelerate", if that makes any sense.

Both Thursday night and last night, the most uncomfortable two nights in a row trying to get sleep that I can ever remember--plus wife has been snoring like the proverbial freight train, adding to difficulty. Now I know what others are referring to when writing about feeling like getting run over by a truck the next day.

All day yesterday and so far today, just no energy, weak, so tired. Want to stay caught up on reading posts by others here, so difficult now. Am going to try to "catnap" today, see if I can get some "steam" back. Hmmm.......maybe this is a first sign that "something" is working.

Thank you again Laura, Ark, Signs team, forum members, all........for all your efforts in serving others. I love all of you. And for one of the few times since I have joined this forum, I'm not going to be "afraid" of clicking on ::post::

 

[Divide by Zero]

I haven't been having the emotional releases during the meditation. It was just at the beginning I would get annoyed and frustrated at not being able to keep in sync with Laura's instructions. But like Laura said, it's like working out... and nowadays it seems easy to do.

-The Ba Ha no longer makes my whole body tingle, though I feel a little bit in my hands sometimes.
-The meditation now puts me in a very relaxed mode, where my breathing slows down a LOT. I only zoned out once when I was exhausted from work.

Kenlee, I have noticed the same effect during the day where my breathing responds to stress in a good way instead of the old ways which would amplify the anxiety/stress. I didn't expect this to happen automatically!

I haven't had good luck in the past with meditation, but this program with Laura's guidance is great!

 

[Meg]

One thing I noticed in the past two weeks, is I seem to be more indifferent than before. The teenage son of a close friend burned himself pretty badly with gunpowder. I was so concerned for her and for him. I didn’t seem to have any emotions about the event. It was all intellectual. Before, when someone would cry over something painful like that, I would start to cry and hurt too. When do the EE session, all of the emotions come out, like I’m saving it up or something. Is this happening to anyone else?

I’m still having anger, depression, mood swings and other emotional releases. The Predators mind has just been relentless. “You’re going to fail”, “you don’t need to do this”, “you are wasting your time”. I completed my Associates degree last May and I am taking more classes this Fall to complete a B.A. IT says “why waste your time, there is no hope. You’re just going to starve/die. What you are learning is BS, why waste your time. Drop your classes! You should be reading more on the Forum and about psychpathy…” blah, blah. Grrrr. Thanks to those who are posting the craziness going on in your head too. It helps to be reminded that I am not alone. All for One! :)