Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[Laura]

Hi everybody

Thank you Laura for taking the time to explain to all of us the process and the changes in your life that you attibute to the clainsing of your body, and your head

. This describing is so intens, so vivid that it's difficult for me to tell my first little confrontation with emotional problem.

Aan the beginning of my experience with the breathing programa, I had sometimes what it is called a zoning out . But since a week, I am overcome by aan intence felling of despair, i begin to cry and i can't stop during the prayer .

I apologize to be so negatief but i think i am not alone in this difficult time

Crying and cleansing old, stuffed, repressed emotions is NOT a negative thing! As I said, if it doesn't come out, that means it is all resident in your subconscious and that is not where you want all that stuff to be - like skeletons in a closet. Tears are cleansing, representing the river of life beginning to flow for you.

And do note that the Cs commented that it is not the same for everyone. I think those of us that are strong "drivers" suffer the most.

 

[Laura]

Thanks for sharing this, this is really good to know. I've had some episodes of that "cranky when anything happened that was out of the ordinary or not what I wanted or expected" and being "grouchy, irritable, easy to fly off the handle, easily frustrated." And these episodes would happen after periods of greater clarity and operating with higher current in the circuits. So it was discouraging, I felt like I was backsliding or not really making progress. Again, this is helpful to hear of your experiences!

When all this stuff starts coming up, believe me, you are NOT backsliding! You are making progress. But, as has already been suggested, it's probably a good idea to try to schedule things so that the cleansing of your negative emotions doesn't impact anyone else around you. If possible, keep to yourself, feel it, acknowledge it, cry or punch pillows, but don't express it toward others. If you need to talk about it, post here on the forum.

I think that, once the process begins in earnest, it probably is uncomfortable for only a few weeks. Another thing that happens is that yes, you do get added mental clarity, and you also begin to see things in new ways, make new connections, your analyzing skills increase because you aren't being driven by your emotions anymore, and your "attitude" toward reality can undergo significant changes that actually makes it easier for you to navigate. After a period of being bothered by about everything, you stop being bothered and repressing things, and start assessing and acting rationally in response to external stimuli. In short, it sort of returns you to that clean state that you were in as a child before all kinds of wounds caused you to create buffers and programs. You also get your confidence back - that confident trust in your abilities that you had as a child.

 

[Helle]

But, as has already been suggested, it's probably a good idea to try to schedule things so that the cleansing of your negative emotions doesn't impact anyone else around you.

With a busy work life and 3 kids, scheduling anything is a pain for me. My emotional cleansing is ALSO a burden to everyone around me, but at least I know what's going on, and I'm trying to explain it to my husband, so he doesn't run away screaming

But oh boy it's hard... But if you say it'll ease in a few weeks, I think I can withstand it. The clarity that follows is well worth it, and being able to come here and share all of your experiences is really helpful.

 

[Lucius]

When all this stuff starts coming up, believe me, you are NOT backsliding! You are making progress. But, as has already been suggested, it's probably a good idea to try to schedule things so that the cleansing of your negative emotions doesn't impact anyone else around you. If possible, keep to yourself, feel it, acknowledge it, cry or punch pillows, but don't express it toward others. If you need to talk about it, post here on the forum.

Laura you means that Do not meet other people ( better not if you have choice to meet ? ) ? and Do not talk about you feeling with others ? JUST keep it In your head and there "feel it " and "understand" ?

[quote author=Laura]
I think that, once the process begins in earnest, it probably is uncomfortable for only a few weeks. Another thing that happens is that yes, you do get added mental clarity, and you also begin to see things in new ways, make new connections, your analyzing skills increase because you aren't being driven by your emotions anymore, and your "attitude" toward reality can undergo significant changes that actually makes it easier for you to navigate. [/quote]

I'm now at this point ... in my case it is 3 week this "process" and now I can see things in new ways ( PAS Things and present things ).
now this is strength felling but I KNOW that NOW I Look to the life WHAT it is not what hmm other thing , other told etc.. I see Now Real My Life. At this point in this minute.

But there is still many felling that I need Understand from my past life.

I just repeat "It will pass , let me fell all of it , it will pass" And in critical moment ( I have lots of suicide thought ) It help to go forward.

After a period of being bothered by about everything, you stop being bothered and repressing things, and start assessing and acting rationally in response to external stimuli. In short, it sort of returns you to that clean state that you were in as a child before all kinds of wounds caused you to create buffers and programs. You also get your confidence back - that confident trust in your abilities that you had as a child.

Yup I fell that I have lots of buffers and programs that block me.

 

[RedFox]

Thank you so much for the information Laura. I've been reactionary (easily agitated) too so its good to know its part of the process. It certainly helps in regard to not taking it out on others.
Ironically it seems I've been peeling layers of the onion off since before finding your work (although I didn't realise that until now). At the time of my depression I resolved to reconnect with my emotions and my soul, as I felt dead inside (that perhaps I had neither?). I went through huge emotional outpourings and what I now understand to be positive disintegrations....more than one occasion I felt I was loosing/had lost my mind due to the internal chaos. It even felt sometimes like I was inside a whirlwind of thought/energy. Learning to ride it out has been one of the most useful things I've ever learnt.
I haven't had anything on the previous scales happen yet, but if/when it does I think I may enjoy it. I use to be petrified of fast fairground rides/rollercoasters (amusement parks in general). Like Laura I'm a driver although maybe more in a passive way I like to be 100% in charge (of myself). My girlfriend convinced me to go on one of those rides that spins you round (three arms, with three sets of seats on each arm that spin also). Well I didn't like the idea at all, felt completely unsafe and as the ride progressed I noticed the way it would shake and rattle, that things may not fit quite right and perhaps the bolts would come off, would I be thrown from it or cling on, I tensed up and started turning white as a sheet.
I honestly think I may have passed out if it wasn't for one thing....the music playing changed to queens 'we will, we will rock you'. I remembered a rather inappropriate version of the lyrics and started laughing at the absurdity of my reaction to the situation and singing the alternative lyrics rather loudly as I spun round. Although maybe not the best example to give, it did none the less show me something very important.....how you perceive something can effect you greatly, despite the situation being exactly the same. The ride will stop eventually...so its up to you how you perceive it.

If you find yourself worried and more specifically fixated on potentially unpleasant sensations/emotions, try and take a step back. Whenever I found myself in one of those whirlwinds its what I did and it helped it pass more smoothly. Problem is I'd forgotten about all this until now! oops

Something I noticed a few days ago that may be useful for others was that I may have been doing the pipe breathing slightly wrong. I noticed that I was tensing/pulling back my lower jaw on the Haa parts. On correcting this (and only tensing my throat and nothing else) I've found the pipe breathing is a lot easier, and far more relaxing.

Wanted to add a short note about last nights program. One of Laura's recent posts made me take a hard look at myself and my internal considering. So I went into last nights with that in mind, and focused 100% on everything (100% focus is not something I've been able to sustain for several years now) with a sense of gratitude/appreciation and with the goal of benefitting the group/network/everyone in general...i.e. not doing it for myself. I started it earlier in the evening (rather than putting it off until late), and it turned out to be the easiest one I've done so far (closer to the first one I did). I only zoned out for a few moments following the prayer, and more so when repeating it myself while the music continued at the end.
During the prayer I tried to put the ideas I've been learning behind the meaning of the phrases. For 'the holiness of true existence' I (rightly or wrongly) chose Laura as my working example of how to embody that understanding.

After finishing the prayer I laid there and contemplated a few things (whilst noticing quite a lot of peaceful warmth and pressure on my forehead, both of which I held on to). One thing was I wanted to ask who had made the meditation music? I remembered seeing a picture from Laura's house on her blog showing a piano and harp and had an image of Laura/Ark and others playing this music for everyone (with thoughts of discussions of 'how well can you play in the orchestra' from another thread) and had a glimpse for a moment of the understanding of how they give there all to everyone (if we would listen).
It was only a glimpse, because it honestly felt like to much to bare at that moment.

After this (and quite a few tears) I noticed that upon opening my eyes everything looked grey for a moment, then appeared if someone had turned up the colour/brightness on a TV screen. Everything had a golden hue....

I hope its ok to keep sharing what is probably quite a subjective set of experiences, I'm still trying to get the hang of external consideration when it comes to posting things that may just be internal considering.

 

[Iron]

Im starting to get somewhat melancholic, and doubtfull of myself, the program, why I am doing this, etc...

However, I have no doubt ( unintended pseudo-pun) that those are the buffers and programs talking.
This last session was hard... no tears for me, but it was very hard to keep focus during the BA-HA and the prayer.
I struggled. That is the word. Struggle.

But i'll keep on rocking... Laura's words gave me enough drive, now that i feel that the Dark Night is at the corner...

 

[truth seeker]

Hello all.

Just wanted to report on an experiment that I tried yesterday. I've had a mild flu that went into bronchitis and a sinus infection, and for a few days I couldn't breathe through my nose at all, even with decongestants. Wondering how that could be possible, I got the headphones on and sat up in bed to go through the EE program. It was tough at first, but by concentrating and relaxing at the same time, by the second time through the EE program, my nose was clear! I haven't taken a decongestant for my nose since, and things are draining and healing.

Its a little thing, but great when you can't breathe. ;)

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better Gimpy. I was wondering if you've ever used a neti pot? I don't have one, but what I've done when congested was to put a little salt in some water (in a shallow dish). Inhale slowly while holding one nostril and then do the other. This has provided some relief.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasal_irrigation

My other thought was of the last session:

Session Date: August 30th 2009

Laura, Ark, Joe, A***, P****, Allen, C***, Scottie, G***

Q: (L) Hello.

A: Hello!

Q: (L) And who do we have with us?

A: Groilla of Cassiopaea unified thought.

Q: (L) Why did you add the extra to the introduction?

A: You sometimes forget that a "name" is just a convention for your convenience. We thought a reminder was in order.

Perhaps this was not just a reminder that the C's are not just a unified thought but also if they are becoming us and we them then we are also becoming unified in thought. This just occurred to me as people are expressing a sense of feeling alone in this.

 

[manitoban]

Every time I practise the breathing program, I am more amazed at just how powerful it really is. I had a real difficult day yesterday, and when it came time to do the program, I could feel my entire body and mind was completely stressed, anxious etc. and I really didn't know if I was even going to be able to relax. It took me a while to settle down enough to do the breathing properly, but eventually I was able to. I did have more crying at points, but what amazed me was by the end, I felt all the tension gone, and felt really clean, (can't think of any other word to describe it but feeling light and clean). The change in my state from when I started to when I finished was like night and day. Quite a miracle and I am so very grateful for this, probably the greatest gift that we could ever receive!

 

[aragorn]

With a busy work life and 3 kids, scheduling anything is a pain for me. My emotional cleansing is ALSO a burden to everyone around me, but at least I know what's going on, and I'm trying to explain it to my husband, so he doesn't run away screaming

I sure can relate to that. We only have one kid and it is really hard to find any time to do any reading or breathing. But when I started reading Laura's 'Amazing Grace' a few weeks ago it became clear that my "scheduling problems" are nothing compared to what she has been through - still managing somehow to keep up the "esoteric work". Since the birth of our son the only time I can do my breathing meditation is late in the evening in bed, when my wife's already asleep. It was fun to read in Grace that this was exactly what Laura was doing at one time.

The only problem is doing the Warriors Breath; I try to do "silent screams" - activating my diaphragm like in actual sounding. This is a poor substitute, I know, but I feel it has some value. And the "good" part in doing it at night is that there is silence and privacy. If and when something comes up you can "weep in the kitchen". Sometimes the "eruptions" carry its weight to the next morning and day. This can be very tough for all of us in our family; some mornings (not that often any more) I'm completely drained, exhausted and miserable and cannot "function". Luckily my wife knows, sort of, what is going on with me and she knows that in the long run these "going through stuff" are actually good for me. But of course, most mornings she is really tired too (having fed our son at night etc.), so coping is sometimes very hard.

BTW, I'm starting a training in Bionergetic therapy/Body awareness this weekend with this very experienced therapist I've mentioned earlier. Really looking forward to it! I'll keep you guys informed if something useful comes up. ;)

 

[Helle]

The only problem is doing the Warriors Breath; I try to do "silent screams"

Hehe! You should see me doing it! I learned to say HA with almost NO sound :P

I'm completely drained, exhausted and miserable and cannot "function".

This is exactly how I feel. Everyone at works asks and asks, and worry about what's wrong with me, why am I so quiet and antisocial and withdrawn. I mostly just say that I'm tired today, but I can feel something stirring inside me. I'm glad that I know sorta what's going on, otherwise I'd think I was having a depression!

 

[agni]

Greetings Laura !

Thank You very much for describing your experiences of what you went through. It is very inspirational ! I can only imagine how difficult it was to go through these experiences without anyone telling what to possibly expect or what it is.

The ones who make the a new path through the forest have the most toughest task !

 

[bjorb]

I have to say and ask:

Mine experience is that yes I feel emotional after it. But never to a point that I had to cry, I also never zoned out. I have to say that ‘shocks’ to me had have better results than anything. Not only that, I prefer to have as many ‘shocks’ as necessary.

I have to ask since I have not really experienced the things most people did most often. Is there a possibility that I am blocking myself? Is there something I missed? Or is it just that we not always experience the same things well doing this when still doing it right?

A: Yes. All of that was created and spread by pathological types under the influence of their hyperdimensional masters for the purpose of turning this planet into a "hell on earth" with them as the masters. They have succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. What is needed is for many people to begin to make direct connections with their higher centers. This has been done via the "work" up to now, but there are other methods to accelerate the process and obtain the needed assistance.

Eiriu-Eolas is accelerating in a way that emotions who are ‘blocking us’ when applying the exercise are coming to the surface so you can ‘release them’, Right???

What I am trying to say. I am not sure I am doing ‘Eiriu-Eolas’ like it should. Since I do not experience all the same things, most people did.

Eiriu-Eolas is meant to be accelerating or is there more to it, Did I missed something?

I do prefer both methods but by also, being ‘old school’ doing ‘the work’, using shocks that also is a possibility, Right???

 

[Turgon]

In light of Laura's recent post I'd like to add some observations and experiences that have occurred with me over the last little while since I started the program.

For one, other than a few times during the program, I haven't had any major emotional outbursts. I remember once during Warrior's Breathe I cried and laughed at exactly the same time, which was odd. And I cried during the Monday Night session of the day we found out Victoria/Pepperfritz died. I remember waking up the next morning, and for a very small amount of time, my mind was utterly clear. No background noise, no intrusive thoughts of any kind, just simple, quiet, contentment. It was really amazing. A few times during the Prayer portion I would feel the onset of strong emotions, but nothing that would be termed a 'breakthrough'.

In fact, for the most part during my everyday waking day, I haven't been reacting exceptionally emotional to very much! Although in some ways, I think am looking for something to happen, there is a bit of expectation and anticipation on my part, for some great emotional breakthrough, when in reality I think I should be taking it more step-by-step. Just do the Breathing, even if I can't see the immediate benefits.

One thing I have noticed though, is the addition of a lot of anger in my dreams. I have had a number of dreams where I am extremely angry, whether it be at a person, or a blob of pink/purple energy floating above a girl. I do have a lot of internal anger, even though I don't lose my temper very often, when something does trigger me, it's pretty bad, so I have worked hard over the years to try and control it and not give in to it. The thing is, during the meditation program, I don't really feel angry very, although I do get agitated and irritated with myself if my breathing isn't 'flowing' properly or I lose concentration and focus on other things.

ALSO, something a bit separate, seeing as a number of us have been doing the program for a little while now, do you think it would be a good idea, during the Ba-Ha portion of the audio, to do the full Ba-Ha breathe exercise. As in take that quick breathe in, say the 'Baaa', quick in breathe, 'Haaaa', along with Laura?

 

[Richs]

I have to say and ask:

Mine experience is that yes I feel emotional after it. But never to a point that I had to cry, I also never zoned out. I have to say that ‘shocks’ to me had have better results than anything. Not only that, I prefer to have as many ‘shocks’ as necessary.

I have to ask since I have not really experienced the things most people did most often. Is there a possibility that I am blocking myself? Is there something I missed? Or is it just that we not always experience the same things well doing this when still doing it right?

Laura has commented about this before. It seems that there are some people who can make significant progress using 'shocks', but there are many who do not.
Perhaps you are one of those who do well with the shock method. On the other hand, it is also likely that those who can make progress using shocks will do much better and accelerate their progress by also doing the EE program along with any other method.

Eiriu-Eolas is accelerating in a way that emotions who are ‘blocking us’ when applying the exercise are coming to the surface so you can ‘release them’, Right???

Yes!

What I am trying to say. I am not sure I am doing ‘Eiriu-Eolas’ like it should. Since I do not experience all the same things, most people did.

Eiriu-Eolas is meant to be accelerating or is there more to it, Did I missed something?

It seems everyone's experiences will be somewhat different, depending on what 'needs to be done' to make progress.

I do prefer both methods but by also, being ‘old school’ doing ‘the work’, using shocks that also is a possibility, Right???

It looks that way...

 

[Laura]

I have to say and ask:

Mine experience is that yes I feel emotional after it. But never to a point that I had to cry, I also never zoned out. I have to say that ‘shocks’ to me had have better results than anything. Not only that, I prefer to have as many ‘shocks’ as necessary.

I have to ask since I have not really experienced the things most people did most often. Is there a possibility that I am blocking myself? Is there something I missed? Or is it just that we not always experience the same things well doing this when still doing it right?

Be patient! It was only after a couple of full months that I even had significant action. And remember, I wasn't EXPECTING anything! I was just doing it to help with my stress and also to learn to discipline my mind and control my thoughts. I had read about a guy who decided to learn to meditate in the middle of WW I and he began his practice in a foxhole in a battlefield. He figured if he could meditate in the middle of bombs falling all around, he could do it anywhere. That inspired me because I had four little children at the time and a LOT of stress. So that was mainly my goal: to relieve stress and stop being so cranky with my children and husband.

Meditating is like lifting weights with your mind - it gets stronger cumulatively. Depending on what you start with, it can take more or less time to accumulate the "mental strength" to move over that "barrier."

So, be patient and concentrate on the meditation as often as you can do it. The three stage breathing is nice to do a couple times a week, and the pipe breathing at least once a day (maybe starting off your meditation), but the main thing is the meditation.