Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[Laura]

I remember having the itching problem when I first began meditating. It really does seem as if it is a manifestation of some part of the mind that is afraid of the changes that will come. It's like being afraid of growing up.

I remember that I would just go ahead and scratch and then start over again, patiently and repeatedly. I also would try to take measures to eliminate possible sources of itching, like a warm bath first, some lotion or oil on the skin; making sure I was perfectly comfortable.

This is one of the reasons I advocate meditating and other practices in as comfortable a situation as possible. Even without the hassle of trying to sit in special positions, your body will give you enough resistance to deal with!

Remember too, even if you get interrupted by scratching or whatever, there is something about this that is cumulative; it adds up even if you can only do a few minutes before a distraction arises.

 

[no-mans-land]

Hi Laura

I remember having the itching problem when I first began meditating. It really does seem as if it is a manifestation of some part of the mind that is afraid of the changes that will come. It's like being afraid of growing up.

This is an really interesting thought, i wonder what this part could be. Actually the "growing up" issue is a major part of my life which is also reflected in my physical appearance. I hear quite often, that it seems I do not becoming older and hold the look of an 18 year old boy (now I am 29). Of course, this has also an effect upon the interaction with others, authority's, colleagues and friends. This instant bias through the appearance govern the behavior of others and I support this behavior in an unconsciousness way, what produce an self sustaining circle. Hmmm..... indeed, growing up is needed. Thank you for this "mind-kick".

Remember too, even if you get interrupted by scratching or whatever, there is something about this that is cumulative; it adds up even if you can only do a few minutes before a distraction arises.

Yep, it seems there is no easy way out. I will deal with it. Thanks for your attention.

 

[StrangeCaptain]

I also wonder if for some the itching is a phase as one enters the meditation. I have the itching almost every time, and if I let myself keep going, it disappears. Maybe the body gets supersensitive as one enters relaxation so that stimulus one might not normally notice becomes the sensation of itching.

 

[Bluestar]

This is an really interesting thought, i wonder what this part could be. Actually the "growing up" issue is a major part of my life which is also reflected in my physical appearance. I hear quite often, that it seems I do not becoming older and hold the look of an 18 year old boy (now I am 29). Of course, this has also an effect upon the interaction with others, authority's, colleagues and friends. This instant bias through the appearance govern the behavior of others and I support this behavior in an unconsciousness way, what produce an self sustaining circle. Hmmm..... indeed, growing up is needed. Thank you for this "mind-kick".

Hello no man's land,

Having a similar issue with looking younger then I am. It has created a program within me to always expect some form of having to let others know exactly how old I am. Being in my mid-forties and now looking as a 30 something, there are perks as well as issues.


Sometimes I get carded which makes me feel good (subjective) and sometimes there is an element of feeling disrespected (also subjective). Once a few years ago, while working with a man that was 12 years my jr, he would not take my experiences seriously. Suggestions I would make on the job, he would slight away, and at times would come back and say "should have listen to you." So lately I have been working on this program. One thing I now do is not tell people my age unless I deem necessary. This is accomplished through much observation of the situation. Another is working on not taking it personally. This is my hardest part cause of thinking that my experience is valid and should be noted by others. I believe this program was one of the ones that gradually builds. Reading "Drama of the Gifted Child" at present and maybe this stems from childhood experiences of "a child should be seen and not heard". A common foundation in my childhood. A common theme within my life has been having good advice for those around me and then someone else saying exactly the same thing and getting credit for the advice. Left me standing there thinking, "I just said that!" Feeling hurt and ignored.

Since I could remember I have had what I call the "Peter Pan syndrome" I do not want to grow up. Have looked at the world and shunned responsibility & authority where I could. Until having to be a primary financial support for my family for the last six years, where I started to see where I need to focus this "adult" responsibility. And have the feeling that I have "grown up". Though I do believe that keeping a somewhat child like creativity is important.

The EE program I believe is assisting me in not only becoming aware of these issues, also figuring out how to work through them.

 

[agni]

I did pipe breathing & meditation before bed and I saw some sort of light during meditation, but it was not a spot, rather something glowing in the dark. It felt as if room is illuminated outside.

Then I've started to see & feel as if I am someone else, living in some city, saw people around me, saw the environment, looked like it was a present time.

Then some geometrical shapes started to appear & were morphing. Zoned out & later found myself still watching this glow in the dark. Felt like quite some time has passed.

 

[truth seeker]

This is an really interesting thought, i wonder what this part could be. Actually the "growing up" issue is a major part of my life which is also reflected in my physical appearance. I hear quite often, that it seems I do not becoming older and hold the look of an 18 year old boy (now I am 29). Of course, this has also an effect upon the interaction with others, authority's, colleagues and friends. This instant bias through the appearance govern the behavior of others and I support this behavior in an unconsciousness way, what produce an self sustaining circle. Hmmm..... indeed, growing up is needed. Thank you for this "mind-kick".

Hello no man's land,

Having a similar issue with looking younger then I am. It has created a program within me to always expect some form of having to let others know exactly how old I am. Being in my mid-forties and now looking as a 30 something, there are perks as well as issues.


Sometimes I get carded which makes me feel good (subjective) and sometimes there is an element of feeling disrespected (also subjective). Once a few years ago, while working with a man that was 12 years my jr, he would not take my experiences seriously. Suggestions I would make on the job, he would slight away, and at times would come back and say "should have listen to you." So lately I have been working on this program. One thing I now do is not tell people my age unless I deem necessary. This is accomplished through much observation of the situation. Another is working on not taking it personally. This is my hardest part cause of thinking that my experience is valid and should be noted by others. I believe this program was one of the ones that gradually builds. Reading "Drama of the Gifted Child" at present and maybe this stems from childhood experiences of "a child should be seen and not heard". A common foundation in my childhood. A common theme within my life has been having good advice for those around me and then someone else saying exactly the same thing and getting credit for the advice. Left me standing there thinking, "I just said that!" Feeling hurt and ignored.

Since I could remember I have had what I call the "Peter Pan syndrome" I do not want to grow up. Have looked at the world and shunned responsibility & authority where I could. Until having to be a primary financial support for my family for the last six years, where I started to see where I need to focus this "adult" responsibility. And have the feeling that I have "grown up". Though I do believe that keeping a somewhat child like creativity is important.

The EE program I believe is assisting me in not only becoming aware of these issues, also figuring out how to work through them.

I have this as well (looking much younger than I am). I've actually done the opposite as you. When appropriate, I tell people my age. My reasoning for this is that I think it provides context so that they now know how to speak to me. While some of the reactions you perceive are probably subjective, sometimes people do treat you according to who they think you are.

I do clearly see however, my own "Peter Pan Syndrome" and how it relates to my upbringing. My mother wanted to do everything for me in terms of practical stuff but I found myself having to take care of her emotional needs which I believe then stunted my own emotional development. I didn't learn to take care of myself emotionally or physically because she was always the focus.

I also have had the experience of having my words ideas stolen. I think this occurred because I didn't have faith in my own words (self worth) to state them loudly and clearly. I would usually say something under my breath (low tone of voice) and then it would be repeated by someone else who would get the credit. I think you make a god point Bluestar when you wrote about "being seen and not heard". Perhaps this also relates to narcissistic wounding in that we're given someone elses voice when growing up and therefore have no voice of our own. Or even feel we have no right to be heard. Maybe we are constantly seeking someone's approval for the right to say what we feel.

 

[no-mans-land]

Hi Bluestar

Once a few years ago, while working with a man that was 12 years my jr, he would not take my experiences seriously. Suggestions I would make on the job, he would slight away, and at times would come back and say "should have listen to you." So lately I have been working on this program.

Man, you named it^^. I is hard work for me to convince people (specially in the job), that they take my words serious. "Oh, what could this child know about life/job etc. yet". I couldn't count how often I tried to fix wastefull work processes and make things more effective, improve teamwork, solve problems and no one was listen... very frustrating, and useless. I try to stop to force myself into this program, but not every time successfully.

One thing I now do is not tell people my age unless I deem necessary. This is accomplished through much observation of the situation. Another is working on not taking it personally.

I also stopped to tell people how old I am, but there are moments where it is hard not taking this too personal, for instance, if i am asked about my ID when I like to buy tobacco or when a supervisor try to take me for a idiot. Sometimes in situation like these, I think for me "man, I have done things, seen almost every continent of this planet, worked harder than you ever will, walked further than your feeds would carry you and you damn idiot believe you can tell me anything?" And 'zap', there it is, these overbearing thoughts when it happens once again and the people seeing only this apparent young man.

This is my hardest part cause of thinking that my experience is valid and should be noted by others.

Yeah, I feel with you.

But hey, it is not always bad at all. People often show their real face very quickly when they believe that I am the one who is weaker. And, it facilities the "parents syndrome" what brings me always enough to eat, specially in my job there is a baker which cant see how thin I am and after we are done with the cleaning of his kitchen, I often get a real good meal. <--- so, the universe takes care of me, because currently i don't have enough money to buy enough food.

Reading "Drama of the Gifted Child" at present and maybe this stems from childhood experiences of "a child should be seen and not heard". A common foundation in my childhood. A common theme within my life has been having good advice for those around me and then someone else saying exactly the same thing and getting credit for the advice. Left me standing there thinking, "I just said that!" Feeling hurt and ignored.

And again, 'bang', i know exactly what you mean.

Since I could remember I have had what I call the "Peter Pan syndrome" I do not want to grow up. Have looked at the world and shunned responsibility & authority where I could. Until having to be a primary financial support for my family for the last six years, where I started to see where I need to focus this "adult" responsibility. And have the feeling that I have "grown up". Though I do believe that keeping a somewhat child like creativity is important.

I allways thinking, if to "grow up" means to become like the people I see around me, then OK, no thanks. So what exactly does this "grow up" really means?

The EE program I believe is assisting me in not only becoming aware of these issues, also figuring out how to work through them.

If the EE only cause this understanding alone, than it was worth all the efforts.

 

[Ollie]

I remember having the itching problem when I first began meditating. It really does seem as if it is a manifestation of some part of the mind that is afraid of the changes that will come. It's like being afraid of growing up.

I can relate to that, I know that there is a big emotional issue that needs resolving in an associated manner - let alone any emotional issues from other lives that may need addressing before re-crystallizing happens - a fear, and at a younger level protection from that fear re-occurring as well; yet it needs to be 'growing up' (I fear!!!), so that i can experience emotions. Also, I get the impression that, in my case, the yawning is tied in with this resistance too.

Remember too, even if you get interrupted by scratching or whatever, there is something about this that is cumulative; it adds up even if you can only do a few minutes before a distraction arises.

Well that is at least reassuring, even if it does mean that I have to wait longer, for something to 'happen'. Patience is said to be a virtue! And, a lesson in non-anticipation.

Thank you Laura for your helpful comments.

 

[Bluestar]

Remember too, even if you get interrupted by scratching or whatever, there is something about this that is cumulative; it adds up even if you can only do a few minutes before a distraction arises.

Years ago when first utilizing meditation exercises, I would have incredible itching sensations. Usually it would cause me to loose focus and then to stop the meditation. Still having itching happening, I just scratch the area and then proceed where I left off. Same when I may find that my thoughts go wandering. I catch it and then refocus back to where I was.

Yesterday's session had some minor itching usually around the nose or mouth. Also during three stage part, rests between pipe breathing I would yawn. Thought that my lungs were just needing more air. During POTS is where I usually have itching & yawning. Trying not to put to much into it all. Cause like Laura stated:

It really does seem as if it is a manifestation of some part of the mind that is afraid of the changes that will come. It's like being afraid of growing up.

I allways thinking, if to "grow up" means to become like the people I see around me, then OK, no thanks. So what exactly does this "grow up" really means?

Not sure, but I believe by doing the work and becoming less a machine and more integrated and balanced within our centers is becoming more responsible to ourselves & the world around us.

 

[pete02]

I have this as well (looking much younger than I am). I've actually done the opposite as you. When appropriate, I tell people my age. My reasoning for this is that I think it provides context so that they now know how to speak to me. While some of the reactions you perceive are probably subjective, sometimes people do treat you according to who they think you are.

I fall into this category as well and I follow your words here also, but I tell others my age to help them avoid awkwardness. Many times I have found myself in a discussion with someone only to end up telling them I'm actually older than they are and then they feel embarrassed. Kind of the same thing I guess but I do also feel it is more externally considerate to let them know ahead of time so they can speak to you in a more appropriate manner and avoid embarrassment.

I remember having the itching problem when I first began meditating. It really does seem as if it is a manifestation of some part of the mind that is afraid of the changes that will come. It's like being afraid of growing up.

I can relate to that, I know that there is a big emotional issue that needs resolving in an associated manner - let alone any emotional issues from other lives that may need addressing before re-crystallizing happens - a fear, and at a younger level protection from that fear re-occurring as well; yet it needs to be 'growing up' (I fear!!!), so that i can experience emotions. Also, I get the impression that, in my case, the yawning is tied in with this resistance too.

Remember too, even if you get interrupted by scratching or whatever, there is something about this that is cumulative; it adds up even if you can only do a few minutes before a distraction arises.

Well that is at least reassuring, even if it does mean that I have to wait longer, for something to 'happen'. Patience is said to be a virtue! And, a lesson in non-anticipation.

Thank you Laura for your helpful comments.

Thank you all for your words about this itching! I've been experiencing this for quite some time, some nights worse than others and some night not a problem at all but it gives me another context in which to view this problem. I had always blamed it on my dry skin, so I would use creams but this would still happen sometimes so maybe thats not what it is after all? More and more it always seems like something is trying to stop me from doing the E/E the more I set my mind to it. I've also noticed that my sessions do go way smoother at my home in the country as opposed to in the city (NYC) but I'm guessing thats a no brainer! I wish I could give up working and just stay in the country!

 

[Ollie]

It really does seem as if it is a manifestation of some part of the mind that is afraid of the changes that will come. It's like being afraid of growing up.

I allways thinking, if to "grow up" means to become like the people I see around me, then OK, no thanks. So what exactly does this "grow up" really means?

Not sure, but I believe by doing the work and becoming less a machine and more integrated and balanced within our centers is becoming more responsible to ourselves & the world around us.

My take on the 'being afraid of growing up' is that the little 'I', the 'some part of the mind' (in the much younger you), that created the limiting decision, or buffer, that needs changing (overcoming), did so at a time when the resources at its disposal were much more limiting than they are now. At the same time a negative emotion was attached to the limiting decision (buffer). The younger you did the best it could at the time, working with a positive intent (a learning that is relevant now). This part is still protecting you in the same way that it did then, and is afraid of what may happen if changes are made - that it may no-longer be able to protect you in the way that it has up to now. The 'part of the mind' still in you in the now, the you who is much older (has 'grown up') has much more, and relevant, resources available - at your disposal - to possibly manage the earlier (younger you) situation differently. The positive intent (other than in its positive learning) of the original situation is no longer applicable in as much that the limiting decision (buffer) created at the time can be overcome and the associated negative emotion released once the positive learning has been taken.

In my opinion that is what 'this "grow up" really means?'. The growing up of the younger you with the resources currently available to you now. To Work, to overcome limiting decisions(buffers) made when you were younger, and with limited resources available to you at the time. So yes it does mean to become less of a machine. I appreciate that this may, or may not help.

 

[Joe]

Years ago when first utilizing meditation exercises, I would have incredible itching sensations. Usually it would cause me to loose focus and then to stop the meditation. Still having itching happening, I just scratch the area and then proceed where I left off. Same when I may find that my thoughts go wandering. I catch it and then refocus back to where I was.

It's possible that the itching is a physiological side-effect of the breathing technique.

Deeper and more rapid breathing reduces the concentration of carbon dioxide in the blood and as a result makes the blood more alkaline which in turn causes the a slight constriction of the blood vessels which can cause a tingling/itching sensation on the skin.

 

[Gertrudes]

no mas`s land, Bluestar, truth seeker and Pete02; I can also relate to looking younger then my age.

I have this as well (looking much younger than I am). I've actually done the opposite as you. When appropriate, I tell people my age. My reasoning for this is that I think it provides context so that they now know how to speak to me. While some of the reactions you perceive are probably subjective, sometimes people do treat you according to who they think you are.

I do clearly see however, my own "Peter Pan Syndrome" and how it relates to my upbringing. My mother wanted to do everything for me in terms of practical stuff but I found myself having to take care of her emotional needs which I believe then stunted my own emotional development. I didn't learn to take care of myself emotionally or physically because she was always the focus.

I also have had the experience of having my words ideas stolen. I think this occurred because I didn't have faith in my own words (self worth) to state them loudly and clearly. I would usually say something under my breath (low tone of voice) and then it would be repeated by someone else who would get the credit. I think you make a god point Bluestar when you wrote about "being seen and not heard". Perhaps this also relates to narcissistic wounding in that we're given someone elses voice when growing up and therefore have no voice of our own. Or even feel we have no right to be heard. Maybe we are constantly seeking someone's approval for the right to say what we feel.

You took the words right out of my mouth truth seeker, it could have been me writing this whole excerpt.

As I was reading everyone's experiences, I recognized feeling upset when being treated with some disregard, for people assuming that I am younger. I am aware that this is pure self identification, and I think why should I care? I am not the body I wear. But it seems I am unable to apply this attitude when I am treated as just my body.

I also stopped to tell people how old I am, but there are moments where it is hard not taking this too personal, for instance, if i am asked about my ID when I like to buy tobacco or when a supervisor try to take me for a idiot. Sometimes in situation like these, I think for me "man, I have done things, seen almost every continent of this planet, worked harder than you ever will, walked further than your feeds would carry you and you damn idiot believe you can tell me anything?" And 'zap', there it is, these overbearing thoughts when it happens once again and the people seeing only this apparent young man.

I think the key here is not to take it personally. As I see it, growing with some lack of emotional, mental and/or physical nourishing will later lead into a hole that needs to be filled with a need as a compensation. It comes down to the issue of being seen but not heard mentioned by Bluestar. This need can be manifested in hyper sensitivity or even over reacting when being treated differently then we expect. Then again, if the treatment has proofed to be a consistent pattern in one's life, particularly early life, it is very difficult (if not impossible) not to become sensitive to it.
And here is where learning how to deal with a program comes in.

My take on the 'being afraid of growing up' is that the little 'I', the 'some part of the mind' (in the much younger you), that created the limiting decision, or buffer, that needs changing (overcoming), did so at a time when the resources at its disposal were much more limiting than they are now. At the same time a negative emotion was attached to the limiting decision (buffer). The younger you did the best it could at the time, working with a positive intent (a learning that is relevant now). This part is still protecting you in the same way that it did then, and is afraid of what may happen if changes are made - that it may no-longer be able to protect you in the way that it has up to now. The 'part of the mind' still in you in the now, the you who is much older (has 'grown up') has much more, and relevant, resources available - at your disposal - to possibly manage the earlier (younger you) situation differently. The positive intent (other than in its positive learning) of the original situation is no longer applicable in as much that the limiting decision (buffer) created at the time can be overcome and the associated negative emotion released once the positive learning has been taken.

In my opinion that is what 'this "grow up" really means?'. The growing up of the younger you with the resources currently available to you now. To Work, to overcome limiting decisions(buffers) made when you were younger, and with limited resources available to you at the time. So yes it does mean to become less of a machine. I appreciate that this may, or may not help.

Thank you for your insightful description Trevizent, your explanation was very clear.
I am now seeing it as a quest for searching and grabbing hold of one's parts that are being held stuck for the inappropriateness of their outdated behaviour. And, as you said, it is about using today's tools to help modify those behaviours.
I suppose most of us are just fragmented parts of today and yesterday, often entering in conflict, and it comes down to see all of those parts, so that we can fully accept them, and proceed to the necessary changes for growth. (Gurdjjieff just came to mind, his writings are progressively sinking in)

 

[Green_Manalishi]

Hi all.
I have very simple question. When it is recommended that the most important thing to do everyday is the meditation, is it referring to the last 20 minutes or so of the audio part of the EE program? Just listen to the prayer of the soul (and after saying it by yourself in your head) while breathing deeply?


Thanks in advance for the replies.

 

[no-mans-land]

@Gertrudes

It's quite interesting to see, how different thoughts come together and reflecting each other to find a consistent picture about an issue.
And it's not only partial the esoteric meaning, like these very good summary of the deep question that may hide behind a simple body reaction:

My take on the 'being afraid of growing up' is that the little 'I', the 'some part of the mind' (in the much younger you), that created the limiting decision, or buffer, that needs changing (overcoming), did so at a time when the resources at its disposal were much more limiting than they are now. At the same time a negative emotion was attached to the limiting decision (buffer). The younger you did the best it could at the time, working with a positive intent (a learning that is relevant now). This part is still protecting you in the same way that it did then, and is afraid of what may happen if changes are made - that it may no-longer be able to protect you in the way that it has up to now. The 'part of the mind' still in you in the now, the you who is much older (has 'grown up') has much more, and relevant, resources available - at your disposal - to possibly manage the earlier (younger you) situation differently. The positive intent (other than in its positive learning) of the original situation is no longer applicable in as much that the limiting decision (buffer) created at the time can be overcome and the associated negative emotion released once the positive learning has been taken.

In my opinion that is what 'this "grow up" really means?'. The growing up of the younger you with the resources currently available to you now. To Work, to overcome limiting decisions(buffers) made when you were younger, and with limited resources available to you at the time. So yes it does mean to become less of a machine. I appreciate that this may, or may not help.

But also the scientific/physical aspect would not be left out:

It's possible that the itching is a physiological side-effect of the breathing technique.

Deeper and more rapid breathing reduces the concentration of carbon dioxide in the blood and as a result makes the blood more alkaline which in turn causes the a slight constriction of the blood vessels which can cause a tingling/itching sensation on the skin.

Together with this:

Maybe the body gets supersensitive as one enters relaxation so that stimulus one might not normally notice becomes the sensation of itching.

Both sides, esoteric and physic give a round and suitable explanation from which I can begin to think further.

Thank you all for this input.