Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

Infiniteness said:
[...] I dont really feel any different after the event, but I noticed Ive been getting more anger(mostly at my brother who is intentionally trying to annoy me). I dont know if its connected or not. Hope this is clear enough.

Thanks to bring about this Infiniteness, the discussion about it gave me some good insights. (Update) I have feelings of anger too since some months ago, but in my case is different, is like more generalized, is not to anyone in particular, just when an act of abuse is involved, funny because since I was a child and even to some part of my adulthood I tended to internalize the anger derived from every act of abuse (emotional and psychological), reflected some times as a very nasty negative introject. A couple of months ago I was doing EE completely five days per week and the emotional results were very strong, as it was suggested twice for a couple of fellows here, now I made Beatha just two or three times per week, the anger is still there but is much more easy to work it and also I try to focus it exactly were it belongs, now I can even say that is kind of a fuel to Do some things related to the Work. Since I started to do Beatha less times per week I don't feel the same strong emotional results - abreactions? - and funny stuff as I tended to experience from EE at the beginning, I thing that everything is flowing in a more natural way I guess, it also has helped me to notice more unobserved programs and wounds... sheesh! it just seems like an endless chain.

Still some times I feel like I'm in a emotional roller coaster and some times depression goes deep, I see it as part of the process, this past weeks for example I started to feel very demotivated but is just that IT - the predators mind - made me forget about hope and the whys of my/our aims. Also, I doesn't even feel the need to rush the process anymore, I feel very calmed, energized and clear minded.
 
Hi

I began EE program some weeks ago but I still can not concentrate well , I have try to make a good time to do it but I feel block, I have post some questions that I have a long time ago but after trying to meditate I realized that Im afraid to open my mind too much..... I really feel block!!! :-[ :/ What can I do ? :cry:
 
logos5x5 said:
Infiniteness said:
[...] I dont really feel any different after the event, but I noticed Ive been getting more anger(mostly at my brother who is intentionally trying to annoy me). I dont know if its connected or not. Hope this is clear enough.

Thanks to bring about this Infiniteness, the discussion about it gave me some good insights. (Update) I have feelings of anger too since some months ago, but in my case is different, is like more generalized, is not to anyone in particular, just when an act of abuse is involved, funny because since I was a child and even to some part of my adulthood I tended to internalize the anger derived from every act of abuse (emotional and psychological), reflected some times as a very nasty negative introject. A couple of months ago I was doing EE completely five days per week and the emotional results were very strong, as it was suggested twice for a couple of fellows here, now I made Beatha just two or three times per week, the anger is still there but is much more easy to work it and also I try to focus it exactly were it belongs, now I can even say that is kind of a fuel to Do some things related to the Work. Since I started to do Beatha less times per week I don't feel the same strong emotional results - abreactions? - and funny stuff as I tended to experience from EE at the beginning, I thing that everything is flowing in a more natural way I guess, it also has helped me to notice more unobserved programs and wounds... sheesh! it just seems like an endless chain.

Still some times I feel like I'm in a emotional roller coaster and some times depression goes deep, I see it as part of the process, this past weeks for example I started to feel very demotivated but is just that IT - the predators mind - made me forget about hope and the whys of my/our aims. Also, I doesn't even feel the need to rush the process anymore, I feel very calmed, energized and clear minded.

Hi logos5x5,

Yes abuse in any shape or form, is very damaging to a person and sometimes we get hurt so badly that its implanted in us far deep. Its good that you are making progress with the EE program and releasing the emotions, but just dont over due it, like many have said. Sometimes not focusing on the emotions is the best thing to do, so you dont keep fueling the fire. Keep it up, someday well be free from these hurts. :flowers:

Update: I got done doing the EE program about 30 mins ago, I have noticed that I tend to yawn a lot when doing the EE program. I didn't have any emotion releases, but on many occasions I feel like I am on the verge of having one, so I think am probably getting close to blowing a lid off pretty soon. I was really relaxed while doing the EE program today and through out the BAHA and meditation portion I was in a semi sleep state. Other then that nothing new.
 
zim said:
Hi

I began EE program some weeks ago but I still can not concentrate well , I have try to make a good time to do it but I feel block, I have post some questions that I have a long time ago but after trying to meditate I realized that Im afraid to open my mind too much..... I really feel block!!! :-[ :/ What can I do ? :cry:

HI Zim, this IMO could have various causes, depends on you to observe and identify them, for example, have you made the suggested detox diet and dietary changes? Have you read the Big 5 psychology books? I'm rereading some of them and I found them very very useful for all the healing process itself, to notice what's really going on inside of us and find names and concepts of all the going ons, gives us the tools and means to Work some stuff we doesn't even know is there. Also, to improve the concentration try to use a 'seed' during the meditation part, this has been discussed too in this thread, you could use the search option to gain a good understanding about it. So patience and don´t give up :).
 
Infiniteness said:
Hi logos5x5,

Yes abuse in any shape or form, is very damaging to a person and sometimes we get hurt so badly that its implanted in us far deep. Its good that you are making progress with the EE program and releasing the emotions, but just dont over due it, like many have said. Sometimes not focusing on the emotions is the best thing to do, so you dont keep fueling the fire. Keep it up, someday well be free from these hurts. :flowers:

True, thanks for your words Infiniteness :).

Infiniteness said:
Update: I got done doing the EE program about 30 mins ago, I have noticed that I tend to yawn a lot when doing the EE program.

As far as I know yawning could be caused by lack of oxygen, FWIW. And now that you mention it, sometimes I experience the same, but most of the times is when I do it at night and I'm tired.

Infiniteness said:
I didn't have any emotion releases, but on many occasions I feel like I am on the verge of having one, so I think am probably getting close to blowing a lid off pretty soon.

Great! Just do not anticipate, 'let it flow naturally'. :)
 
Hi Infiniteness,

Infiniteness said:
Update: I got done doing the EE program about 30 mins ago, I have noticed that I tend to yawn a lot when doing the EE program. I didn't have any emotion releases, but on many occasions I feel like I am on the verge of having one, so I think am probably getting close to blowing a lid off pretty soon. I was really relaxed while doing the EE program today and through out the BAHA and meditation portion I was in a semi sleep state. Other then that nothing new.

FWIW, this is from the EE FAQ:

Bo said:
3. QUESTION:I notice that I am yawning extensively after having done the EE program a few times, why?
ANSWER:
Quote
It happens when one functions from 'intellectual' part of centers rather than 'mechanical' or 'emotional' part of centers, which means using 'controlled' attention. You can observe it in any practices/exercises that require 'controlled' attention. And interestingly enough if you continue more after 'yawning' is observed, you will reach the point where suddenly 'fresh' energy will be supplied.
More about yawning - http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=6695.msg46332#msg46332

I just read the FAQ a couple of days ago and when I saw your post I remembered reading this. Hope it helps!

Seamas
 
Seamas said:
FWIW, this is from the EE FAQ:

Bo said:
3. QUESTION:I notice that I am yawning extensively after having done the EE program a few times, why?
ANSWER:
Quote
It happens when one functions from 'intellectual' part of centers rather than 'mechanical' or 'emotional' part of centers, which means using 'controlled' attention. You can observe it in any practices/exercises that require 'controlled' attention. And interestingly enough if you continue more after 'yawning' is observed, you will reach the point where suddenly 'fresh' energy will be supplied.
More about yawning - http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=6695.msg46332#msg46332

I just read the FAQ a couple of days ago and when I saw your post I remembered reading this. Hope it helps!

Seamas

Very useful information Seamas, thanks :).
 
Seamas said:
Hi Infiniteness,

Infiniteness said:
Update: I got done doing the EE program about 30 mins ago, I have noticed that I tend to yawn a lot when doing the EE program. I didn't have any emotion releases, but on many occasions I feel like I am on the verge of having one, so I think am probably getting close to blowing a lid off pretty soon. I was really relaxed while doing the EE program today and through out the BAHA and meditation portion I was in a semi sleep state. Other then that nothing new.

FWIW, this is from the EE FAQ:

Bo said:
3. QUESTION:I notice that I am yawning extensively after having done the EE program a few times, why?
ANSWER:
Quote
It happens when one functions from 'intellectual' part of centers rather than 'mechanical' or 'emotional' part of centers, which means using 'controlled' attention. You can observe it in any practices/exercises that require 'controlled' attention. And interestingly enough if you continue more after 'yawning' is observed, you will reach the point where suddenly 'fresh' energy will be supplied.
More about yawning - http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=6695.msg46332#msg46332

I just read the FAQ a couple of days ago and when I saw your post I remembered reading this. Hope it helps!

Seamas

Hi Seamas,

Yes I also read about how yawning resupplies us with energy, G was talking about it in the ISOTM. Also my CPR teacher told me that yawning is the first sign of a stroke, makes sense since it happens because we are lacking oxygen. Thanks for the input.
 
The last two days I noticed a very significant change in emotions. It started yesterday after doing the warriors breath before work. I had a very strong sensation of having a caged man inside of me; he was starved, scared, and alone. Then I felt a rush of energy flowing to him and felt "kissed". I then realized that I'd been so scared of making mistakes, of not "Graduating", of not doing the Work properly, that I'd driven myself to a point of severe anxiety. I couldn't help but imagine being similar to some of the students that Gurdjieff had at the Institute, men who looked ready for the madhouse. This anxiety has been decreasing before as I've noted in previous entries in this thread. But I'd still been repressing some of the emotions that I felt when first reading the Wave series and SOTT. A lot of fear and self-loathing. So I forgive myself publicly for my lack of awareness but not for my inability to research thoroughly. I'm working on that, it had just never occurred to me that just because you can't trust what everyone says doesn't mean you shouldn't try putting all the puzzle together anyways.
I remember feeling really jealous of Laura when I first found her work, simply because I saw in her what I wanted to be. And I realized I couldn't be that person in this lifetime. But a couple weeks ago, as I was driving home from my grandparents, I felt an extreme emotional state that dispelled that old jealousy. I was thinking about my sister when I remembered the situation that we're all in, the horror of it all, and I felt a voice say "if you know even a tiny bit about what is going to happen to them then you will fight with every ounce of strength that you have." I gasped and bawled and I'm almost bawling right now. That's about it I think. Thank-you everyone.
 
Hespen said:
The last two days I noticed a very significant change in emotions. It started yesterday after doing the warriors breath before work. I had a very strong sensation of having a caged man inside of me; he was starved, scared, and alone. Then I felt a rush of energy flowing to him and felt "kissed". I then realized that I'd been so scared of making mistakes, of not "Graduating", of not doing the Work properly, that I'd driven myself to a point of severe anxiety. I couldn't help but imagine being similar to some of the students that Gurdjieff had at the Institute, men who looked ready for the madhouse. This anxiety has been decreasing before as I've noted in previous entries in this thread. But I'd still been repressing some of the emotions that I felt when first reading the Wave series and SOTT. A lot of fear and self-loathing. So I forgive myself publicly for my lack of awareness but not for my inability to research thoroughly. I'm working on that, it had just never occurred to me that just because you can't trust what everyone says doesn't mean you shouldn't try putting all the puzzle together anyways.
I remember feeling really jealous of Laura when I first found her work, simply because I saw in her what I wanted to be. And I realized I couldn't be that person in this lifetime. But a couple weeks ago, as I was driving home from my grandparents, I felt an extreme emotional state that dispelled that old jealousy. I was thinking about my sister when I remembered the situation that we're all in, the horror of it all, and I felt a voice say "if you know even a tiny bit about what is going to happen to them then you will fight with every ounce of strength that you have." I gasped and bawled and I'm almost bawling right now. That's about it I think. Thank-you everyone.

I can certainly relate with being paralysed by anxiety back in 2006-2008. I would read ocasionally, would have to force myself to read, and in general would consider myself worthless of posting here or doing anything in benefit of all, because I could not hope of being like Laura and the moderators.

Very good to know that you are destroying those lies in yourself. You may not be Laura, but you can evolve youself to be someone equally valuable to all! We all can.

On another note, I am reporting increased zoning, since I have made more mental efforts to relax my face. Now I must work on accepting more what the universe wants me to see.
 
I finished my EE for today a little while ago. I was a little tired so I was dozing off at times. But what I want to report is that I had during the POTS waves of warm energy that covered or went into me from head to toe it seemed. The last one was at the very end when the music just about stops. I feel quite calm and energized at the same time now.
 
I am doing EE since the beginning, trying to do it regularly twice a week, mostly laying down before sleeping.
Lately I just fall asleep in BAHA portion. Other days try to do at least POTS. When I close my eyes I always see indigo
coloured light dancing on dark background. That started years ago always when meditated.


When I feel stressed more than usually I do pipe breathing and I always feel much better and sleep well.
I talked about my experiences with this antistress effect to my colleagues and some of them seemed interested in,
but I think they never tried it. But, friend of mine who goes to some course (something like NLP) told me that theirs
teacher was really satisfied with material I sent her, and he recommended it strongly to the group.
Hope they will spread that to others. I understand how it is urgent and important.

Past few days I started to feel something disturbing and I don't know how to describe it even in my native language.
It is like turbulence in solar or heart chakra, don't know, like washing machine turning around in all directions,
like something was cooking inside me, some moving pressure in my chest. Than it stopped, I was feelling better and
I've done whole EE program. Next day it started again. So I'll skip BAHA portion for some time. Something similar
I felt last summer when I started with EE.
These past few days I was struggling with my emotions, some programmes I recognised, feeling awful and disturbing.
My emotions were jumping from one extrem to another, overreacted, and than again I felt like I am not involved,
just watching it. Most of the time I was feeling grumpy.

I figured out that some things my intellect has had accepted but my emotions did not.
Now I feel much balanced.
 
For quite some time now I have been having troubles keeping up my EE schedule. I was starting to feel as if the dark side was just getting the best of me but it was really taking a lot out of me just to get started. Today however things seemed different. I started to do my EE last night and passed out. I woke up at 2am and started from the beginning again. This morning I awoke to get my last lead filling removed from my mouth and when I returned home I sat down to do another EE session. From the moment I started something felt different. I actually got that great feeling I used to have when I started doing the EE a year ago! Now I want to do the EE as much as I can just like I used to.

I'm not quite sure how I fell into the slump I was in but it was horrible and I hope that feeling never returns. It just seemed like a constant struggle to get started and there was never anything new to write about. My reading was even suffering. I must have six books that I'm half way through and just don't seem to comprehend whats going on anymore. It was like hitting a wall and not being able to find a way around it. But after my session this morning I have this renewed feeling and I think I'll be picking back up ISOTM and see what happens.

Thank you all for doing what your doing because without a lot of your posts some things just wouldn't make sense. I learn something new from this forum just about every day and I really appreciate that. Hopefully from now on I'll be able to participate more as I know I should.
 
Pete02 said:
I'm not quite sure how I fell into the slump I was in but it was horrible and I hope that feeling never returns. It just seemed like a constant struggle to get started and there was never anything new to write about. My reading was even suffering. I must have six books that I'm half way through and just don't seem to comprehend whats going on anymore. It was like hitting a wall and not being able to find a way around it. But after my session this morning I have this renewed feeling and I think I'll be picking back up ISOTM and see what happens.

Perhaps something happened in your life? Maybe you gave something of yourself to someone in your life and this helped removing the blockage? Only an idea FWIW.
 
I finally did the whole program for only the second time. I felt no anxiety about it as in the past. I noticed that my belly movement was backward (belly going in on in breath and out on out breath ) and had to struggle through 3/4 of the exercise in order to do it right. I began to have something like a seizure but connected to a past memory. I have been thinking lately that I do not have to consciously remember past trauma to release it and have come to firmly believe this. I had to stop for a moment and then spontaneously shouted NO. In a few seconds, I continued on as if nothing had happened but realized that my belly movement was normal now without trying. I did not have any other experiences except that people came to my mind throughout the exercise, some I had not thought about for years, some who have passed on and some I am not sure who they are but felt recognition of some sort. I felt at peace. Even when I was struggling, I felt calm and peaceful.
 
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