celtic
Jedi Master
Maybe it will help to think about it this way: this is your life, you are here, and every single day you either move in one direction or the other. You either move toward more knowledge, understanding and discernment (and creativity) or toward more laziness of thought, dreaming and confusion (and entropy). Some days, you'll make strides just large enough for you to notice, in one direction or another. Other days you will swear you are standing still, though you're not.
Even on those days that it feels you are standing still, you are still moving in one direction or the other because there is no stasis.
So, with that in mind, even those 'standing still' days count - they count because if you can, even then, keep thinking (moving) in the direction of increasing creativity and away from increasing entropy, then you'll turn around one day and see how far you've come without having realized most of that journey took place. I think the point is to never lose sight of where you intend to 'go' - even when you're lost a bit in yourself and everything is foggy.
Keep doing the EE as often as you can. Don't beat yourself up when you miss it, but also try to push through and do it on those days you really don't feel like it. You're getting there.
I do have those days where I would wonder in a direction of creativity and understanding or I might wonder in entropy or laziness of thought. And I can lose my focus and lose hope in myself because I am wondering and I feel like I am behind on everything when this happens. But as you say I guess I have to have hope for myself because it won't be easy.