The more we are aware of our childhood wounds, possible trauma, sexual issues, blind spots, and actively work towards healing ourselves, the more we become objective with ourselves, without behaving mechanically and reactionary, the better we truly know ourselves. Know Thyself! However, knowing thyself also implies knowing our weaknesses, buffers and lies we’re telling ourselves and may have for a very long time. This work cannot always be done alone for we need mirrors from others who see us at times better than we can see ourselves. Obviously it would help to have friends who are also engaged in sincere self-work, have basic understanding of psychology and are aware of “the topic of all topics”, otherwise our friends may just support our buffers in their well-meaning intent to make ourselves feel better. [...] The most important part of that work is emotional intelligence and regulation. In various esoteric teachings emotions (sensations, feelings and passions) are represented by horses with the master (true self) in the carriage (physical body) and the coachman is the ensemble of the intellectual faculties including reason. The horses need to be trained by the coachman so they don’t drive us over the cliff. In other words, emotional intelligence is the ability to link our emotions to reason, connecting the heart and the mind and not letting one over-ride the other.
“When discussing emotional intelligence, the “intelligence” component refers to the ability to apply reason to factual information. The “emotional” component is how we interact with others based on this information. An emotionally intelligent person uses both qualities in balance.
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In order to avoid attracting and feeding the paranormal virus as it attempts to infect the living cells of our love relationship, we must start with emotional clearing. Pent up emotions and unhealed wounds can cause tension, anger, and depression, and act as a magnetic attractor to more of the same. Once the awareness of unresolved emotions emerges, it is the responsibility of the more aware partner to address these issues.
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Developing emotional awareness and intelligence means being willing to be present with our feelings and needs, respecting others and engaging in mindfulness practices. Tracking our behavior patterns, such as compulsions, addictions, and things that “trigger” us emotionally, is essential to expanding our awareness. It’s part of raising our consciousness and evolving as human beings.”
- Eve Lorgen
In other words, we need to develop or connect to our objective observer, being able to step outside ourselves, not disassociating, not “getting into our head”, but staying grounded and embodied, observing what is actually happening and tapping into our reason and inner knowing, the master who can “see”, knows which “direction” we need to go and can make the right decision.
