finding partners...

[Menna]

It seems to me that Gurdjieff made a lot of mistakes when it came to sex with many women, so I don't think he is some kind of role model or someone to emulate in regards to this issue.

He didn't make mistakes when it came to having sex with women he knew what he was doing and new what he wanted and got it. In his book he paints a picture of him laying down in the desert next to a body of water thinking about his life and in this time of reflection he talks about how his manipulative ways using his psyche power over others - with women, men, people with whom he could get something from would keep him from advancing - keep him going around in circles.

I also don't think its "right" or Objective to talk about people who lived over thousands of years ago and comment on their sexual lifestyle one because who can really know the objective facts about a relationship thousands of years old people dont know the objective facts about a relationship that ended 4 months ago and two the times back then society and the word were extremely different.

For example hypathetically if we grew up in a society where it was ok to pick up any bicycle left on the street and use it as your own for transportation this wasn't a big deal it was a normal occurrence. Then 1,700 years later that act is viewed as theft but back then it was a society/human norm. To comment on a persons character negatively because they did something 1,700 years ago that is viewed as morally wrong today - to put that persons actions in todays world and judge them from todays morals and opinions.standards is unfair to that person and emotionally can cloud ones view of this person. I am talking about Caesar when I say thousand of years ago obviously G is not that old however make no mistake about it he knew exactly what he was doing he knew he was using his "powers" for the self. He did realize that using his "powers" for self would limit his growth

I am wrong sometimes and do not pretend otherwise. However, you seem committed to your ideal of Gurdjieff; it sounds to me like you believe he was perfect or never made mistakes after his epiphany in the desert. It seems after his epiphany he had sex with married women, and this is less than 100 years ago. Therefore, I don't see a problem using my moral judgment today and applying it to what he did. I'm certainly not going to pretend or believe that he knew exactly what he was doing. He was just a man, not a god, not an archetype, not 4D or 6D.

I don't have an ideal about Gurdjieff I never interacted with the man I do however believe in some of his principals and information. There are many people that I don't ideal but I believe in/enjoy their talent such as musicians or actors. Maybe its true G had poor morals when it came to women but morals are based on current society and he lived in a society different then our present society so IMO it does little good to comment on his behavior with women. Also I think its doing oneself a disservice to look at one aspect of a man and discount the other ones. Everyone has short comings or issues people also have talents and other great attributes. I was just pointing out that its not a mistake if your actions lead to your goal up until he had his realization his goal was to manipulate to get what he wanted use his powers then his goal changed after his realization. How did he interact with women after his changed realization? I dont know. My point is that I don't ideal people that I have never met however I am guilty of idealing or a better word for my point of view would be liking/believing in their talents/positive contributions. Humans are in a world of Ying and Yang I know this and I know that everyone has positivity and negativity but to look at a persons negativity and have it cancel out their positivity might not be a good idea.

 

[Hesper]

Menna, what I think hlat was pointing out was what seemed like an over-reaction, on your part, to his comment:

It seems to me that Gurdjieff made a lot of mistakes when it came to sex with many women, so I don't think he is some kind of role model or someone to emulate in regards to this issue.

because you then stated:

He didn't make mistakes when it came to having sex with women he knew what he was doing and new what he wanted and got it.

Though you've really pointed out that you definitely do not idealize Gurdjieff, there still seems to be some splitting/program going on, IMO, which is just plain common for most of us. The reason that I say that is the fact that you continue to defend something in your most recent post by stating:

Also I think its doing oneself a disservice to look at one aspect of a man and discount the other ones.

When it is obvious that hlat stated:

It seems to me that Gurdjieff made a lot of mistakes when it came to sex with many women, so I don't think he is some kind of role model or someone to emulate in regards to this issue.

What's going on Menna? No one is discounting Gurdjieff, from what I can see. So what's going on?

More on Splitting as a symptom of internal considering because who hasn't had this affect a relationship of theirs:

In another thread, I posted some quotes about splitting in the context of Borderline Personality Disorder. However, I've been having a discussion with a few other people lately about splitting as internal considering on steriods. Well, obviously, a person who can't get out of their own way and see when they are doing it may very well have a personality disorder, but what I want to emphasize here is that it can be the default mode of behavior. So, to get the ball rolling, here is what I posted in the other thread about BPD:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splitting_%28psychology%29

Splitting (also called all-or-nothing thinking) is the failure in a person's thinking to bring together both positive and negative qualities of the self and others into a cohesive, realistic whole. It is a common mechanism used by large numbers of individuals.[1] The individual tends to think in extremes (that is, another's actions, motivations etc. are all good or all bad and there is no middle ground.)

{The fact that this is said to be very widespread is worrying in one way, and hopeful in another. Obviously, if a lot of people get this way, then it many of them may just simply be habituated to think this way because of programming and not due to any genetic factors. And if it is not genetic, that means that if they recognize it and that it causes problems in their life, they CAN work on it.}

Splitting was developed by Ronald Fairbairn in his formulation of object relations theory; it begins as the inability of the infant to combine the fulfilling aspects of the parents (the good object) and their unresponsive aspects (the unsatisfying object) into the same individuals, but sees the good and bad as separate. In psychoanalytic theory this functions as a defense mechanism. It is a central mechanism to the diagnosis of Borderline personality disorder in DSM-IV-TR.

{And we know from the book "Get Me Out of Here" that such an individual is as unhappy inside as they make others unhappy outside and can thus be motivated to work on themselves.}

<SNIP>

"So far I have spoken of internal considering. It would be possible to bring forward many more examples. But you must do this yourselves, that is, you must seek these examples in your observations of yourselves and of others.

"The opposite of internal considering and what is in part a means of fighting against it is external considering. External considering is based upon an entirely different relationship towards people than internal considering. It is adaptation towards people, to their understanding, to their requirements. By considering externally a man does that which makes life easy for other people and for himself. External considering requires a knowledge of men, an understanding of their tastes, habits, and prejudices.

At the same time external considering requires a great power over oneself, a great control over oneself. Very often a man desires sincerely to express or somehow or other show to another man what he really thinks of him or feels about him. And if he is a weak man he will of course give way to this desire and afterwards justify himself and say that he did not want to lie, did not want to pretend, he wanted to be sincere. Then he convinces himself that it was the other man's fault. He really wanted to consider him, even to give way to him, not to quarrel, and so on. But the other man did not at all want to consider him so that nothing could be done with him. It very often happens that a man begins with a blessing and ends with a curse. He begins by deciding not to consider and afterwards blames other people for not considering him. This is an example of how external considering passes into internal considering.

But if a man really remembers himself he understands that another man is a machine just as he is himself. And then he will enter into his position, he will put himself in his place, and he will be really able to understand and feel what another man thinks and feels. If he can do this his work becomes easier for him. But if he approaches a man with his own requirements nothing except new internal considering can ever be obtained from it.

"Right external considering is very important in the work. It often happens that people who understand very well the necessity of external considering in life do not understand the necessity of external considering in the work; they decide that just because they are in the work they have the right not to consider. Whereas in reality, in the work, that is, for a man's own successful work, ten times more external considering is necessary than in life, because only external considering on his part shows his valuation of the work and his understanding of the work; and success in the work is always proportional to the valuation and understanding of it. Remember that work cannot begin and cannot proceed on a level lower than that of the obyvatel,1 that is, on a level lower than ordinary life. This is a very important principle which, for some reason or other, is very easily forgotten.

 

[Menna]

What's going on Menna? No one is discounting Gurdjieff, from what I can see. So what's going on?

nothings "going on" I don't really care all that much just wanted to clarify my point... (just because someone is negative in an area doesn't mean they cant be possitive in another aspect of that area) (That a mistake is something that goes against or slows down your aim imo)...Now what if the aim is a mistake well that wont be figured out until you get there or close to it.

Splitting (also called all-or-nothing thinking) is the failure in a person's thinking to bring together both positive and negative qualities

I agree and thats what im saying.

 

[supriyanoel]

The support you folks gave me floored me and had me crying tears of gratitude, they were o heartfelt. However, I somehow found my way to a site called Hosanna . But its about hounds, so I will soon, right after the arm and ribs heal, will be entering a new relationship. With a retired champion who needs a home. But DCM and L'Ouija know what they're doing I think, since this is the four-legged variety. One that's been in my soul for as long as I can remember. This kind of give and take is possibly a wonderful beginning where there is equal commitment and if any drama, that of the natural kind. It will possibly be therapy animal as well. Then the human counterpart may or may not turn up, but certainly new partnerships will result, and have already. A pretty marvelous woman, it seems is driving quite a ways in a van that looks like C.S. Lewis created it. I couldn't make this up. Again thank you in helping with this enormous healing process that covered more than I knew. You will be in MY heat always.

Someone I barely knew said to me that he knew what it took to take all the risks in the past few years, and that he was proud and glad I made it ,that it was a necessary and important step.Then basically disappeared. Some High Strangeness in a way, which also made me cry with gratitude for the universe sending that message from a stranger. I also am under no delusions about specialness or attack, so we will see, and I will let you know. I'm pretty detached whether I go through feelings or not. More will definitely be revealed. I encounter falsity constantly,give a lot of rope, and it comes out in the wash, just sometimes it's a long cycle. I do a lot of EE, I can tell you that, and the difference is astounding at times. Again, thank you, and everyone who's practicing.

 

[Alchemie]

Maybe one of you like the love poem (from a novel by Christine Feehan):

You bring my real I to the light.
Then you heal me
of all the scars and problems.
And when it went down with my life
you catch me on.
I had forgotten how to smile,
but thou taught me again.

-----
That is my translation :P
Here is the german text:
Du bringst mein wahres Ich ans Licht.
Dann heilst du mich
von all den Narben und Problemen.
Und als es mit meinem Leben abwärtsging,
fingst du mich auf.
Ich hatte vergessen, wie man lächelt,
aber du hast es mich wieder gelehrt.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

Thanks for the answer and it's somewhat re-assuring to learn that I am not alone!

Well, from my perspective, those who know I've been single all my life find it weird and some have gone as far as thinking their is something fundamentally wrong with me, somewhere. I am yet to figure out if their is or their isn't. So now I hide that and make it really hard for people to figure me out.

Do I think it's weird? Well, it depends... Sometimes I think I have chosen to be this way, like somehow different levels of my mind are playing tricks with each other with the outer most level not really having access to the choices the deeper levels have made. Whenever I get close to a girl, the same things always come up, I'm always scared of physical intimacy for some reason - just scared maybe due to lack of experience or maybe other reasons I don't know and further I am always scared of letting anyone know my history especially with regard to my family and most importantly, my dad and recently I always think I am not yet economically secure to offer protection to any potential partner which is the duty of a man. I've noticed that if you really can't be honest with someone then you can't really have any sort of deep meaningful connection but honesty requires you to be vulnerable which is a dangerous place to be. So maybe their is some self-sabotage going on driven by reasons hidden from the conscious mind.

Any ways, going back to do I think it's weird? Well sometimes yes if I contemplate a potential life alone and if I see the happiness people in relationships experience and knowing that is something I may never experience but other times no because I also enjoy my own freedom.

We spend most of our lives pursuing our whims reflected in others. Wherever we find reflected our weaknesses, we see our "complementary soul." If it is to meet our needs. We would be making another person responsible to load a weight, which is ours, or worse, carrying with a more weight and complete a possible self-destruction. There are many people injuries from relationships with narcissists, many. They're afraid to feel, to express their feelings. Distrusting all around. Disconnected from themselves. "If your you fall in love, you'll lose." better is sex and goodbye... It is the "philosophy of life" for many.

At work, most men have wives and kids and liberal relations. Always bragging showing pictures of women on cellphone "hey look, I slept with her last night." Nothing productive comes out of their mouths. When they begin to stick their noses into my personal life, or to mock not have a girlfriend, I frame a boundary line:

"I don't have absolutely nothing to prove to you or anyone If I am a man. Unlike you, I know what the word intimacy means. You have a wives and can not value them, not even respect themselves. But then you suffer when they abandon you. And if you receive an opportunity, do not hesitate to return to damage the relationship. You cant out of that circle. Do you believe to be a better man, depends for the number of women with whom you have sex? honestly, it is a shameful thought. I will not waste time of life to a woman next to me if I do not feel anything for her. And if it's just for sex, why do not you just go to a brothel? Ah, of course, it would not be a matter of men pay for sex, would feel inferior. It is preferable to lie and destroy life of someone."

The worst thing is that there are women who applaud when see a men deceive to others women, but when they are themselves the deceived... speechless. Always playing who is dumber than who. And I have no intention of being part of this dynamic. Prefer one hundred years more as an observer.

Sometimes you can get to get a person who somehow finds out you're something different. Not necessarily have to be a relationship. But without expectations, without prejudice or anticipations, do not expect anything from anyone.

You do not have to talk about your life to socialize. They often do not understand anything. They already have enough with their personal problems. In many occasions, there no feedback. And you will be exactly the oddball of the place. You can be honest without being vulnerable. It depends on what kind of person you attract, and people you attract depends on your importance and personal identification.

Show your courage, not you weakness. If you was deceived, it was because you did not put enough attention and you let your emotions to cloud your ability to choose and act correctly.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

1) smile :) it's sick to smile in every situation as a clown, but the smile shows confidence, positive attitude, inner energy, so remember about smile, it's important.

2) eye contact: I stare into girls' eyes almost instantly, but in order to girl doesn't feel uncomfortable I skip from one her eye to other her eye and sometimes I look at the side.

3) pacing, mirroring: if you have a chance to observe pairs of lovers, they become similar to each other: take similar posture, they gesture in a similar manner, and even use the same words.

4) touch and break the woman's comfort zone in a subtle way: it brings together, builds a bond; the touch should be confident and authoritative; first touch the forearm, then, for example, shoulder and back, but do not hold her for long, because, as in the case of eye-contact, girl may feel uncomfortable. In short: touch briefly but confident and lordly, and escalate touch when you see that she feel good with it.

It's not rocket science. Those are simple steps which in the case of the successful man comes to him naturally. If someone is having trouble with any step it mean that he should have it in mind while contact with woman and consciously practice it until it becomes a natural.

The emotional and physical closeness should go hand in hand and clever man should overcome this like a gentleman, giving her a sense of security and comfort, and at the same time striving to break barriers for intimacy.

But, the very first thing is to overcome shyness, and initiate contact. This is very very very important because from that point the all things starts. It's something to take on the chest. There is no shortcuts. It's the matter gather up the courage and open mouth, even saying: "hi!" just to initiate contact. If one feels stress before approaching a woman, it's the matter to stop all excuses and just do what "it" doesn't like.

Some things are beyond our control, for example, odor and pheromones - chemistry. People in this matter match to one another or not, can't be done anything in this case.

Another thing is communication skills and the ability to create a good contact with woman. A lot of this is stored in the instincts. But if for some reason it was muffled and off, it have to be restored. The primary reason why women opt for a particular guy is how they feel with him, what emotions are going through her while she is in his company. And this should be the overriding objective: give her such emotions that she will want return to be with me. If one, will be done it successfully then he will have success with women, if one doesn't he won't.

This is how I see it.

This film can offer an interesting perspective on the dynamics of couples that today is the day-to-day. It is a predatory dynamics. An emotional blackmail behaviors according to the belief system about "So are men, So are women, tactics to flirt." :

- Don Jon.

http://<iframe width="560" height="...V8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

"Learn" more from a mimic manual that really overcome your traumas, blocks the the ability to auto-heal and to naturally express your emotions to others, does not allow the progress to emotional maturity, conscience and empathetic. Certainly teaches us as a narcissist acts and moves and highlights the weaknesses of a woman. An effort to act in a way, compelling, persuasive against the women. It would be a situation of push and pull, exactly... until it becomes natural. Applying it, is play like them.

It could strengthen their self-deception. It is self-explanatory. You are purchasing an attitude That does not correspond to who you really are and therefore, you can not see who really is the other person, even for your own protection because you are really busy in deciphering all their signals and respond accurately. Instead of seeing all the existential complex that formed her.

Falsely believe that sharing, even personal issues, is a sign of trust and opportunity to befriend or anything beyond a friendship, remember, exactly what you're doing... "I'm trusting you a part of me/I'm giving you, a part of me".

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

I'm lovesick at the mo, really putting me in a bad/self loathing place. I see/chat to this woman pretty much everyday - she's an employee of mine and in a happy relationship and generally we meet up most days at the same time to walk dogs! I've never had a girlfriend. I end up withdrawing from people I have feelings for and do a "I dont care about you" act and so this week have been staying away and not walking with her and not being really chatty and then hating myself after for being such a prat. I tried Plenty of fish a couple of weeks ago thinking that might help but after sending 40 messages to local girls and getting zero responses it just made me feel so bad I quit. I have problems with rejection and confrontation, I know this cause a old lady in a dream told me. lol

I'm hoping the EE (which I started this week will help me 'man-up' and behave in a more proper and healthy manner and help with my own self loathing.

Everytime I see this girl it just makes me feel so depressed, really bad and I think there's a combo of starting keto and just starting EE which is adding to my low vibes.

Anyone been lovesick? How did you deal with it? Is me staying away the right thing to do or pathetic? Do I just need a kick up the arse?

Jamie

I was recently in a similar situation and just as we must be very careful with help to others. Do not give your "heart" to someone who has not asked you, only by necessity to.

 

[Deleted member 4320]

1) smile :) it's sick to smile in every situation as a clown, but the smile shows confidence, positive attitude, inner energy, so remember about smile, it's important.

2) eye contact: I stare into girls' eyes almost instantly, but in order to girl doesn't feel uncomfortable I skip from one her eye to other her eye and sometimes I look at the side.

3) pacing, mirroring: if you have a chance to observe pairs of lovers, they become similar to each other: take similar posture, they gesture in a similar manner, and even use the same words.

4) touch and break the woman's comfort zone in a subtle way: it brings together, builds a bond; the touch should be confident and authoritative; first touch the forearm, then, for example, shoulder and back, but do not hold her for long, because, as in the case of eye-contact, girl may feel uncomfortable. In short: touch briefly but confident and lordly, and escalate touch when you see that she feel good with it.

It's not rocket science. Those are simple steps which in the case of the successful man comes to him naturally. If someone is having trouble with any step it mean that he should have it in mind while contact with woman and consciously practice it until it becomes a natural.

The emotional and physical closeness should go hand in hand and clever man should overcome this like a gentleman, giving her a sense of security and comfort, and at the same time striving to break barriers for intimacy.

But, the very first thing is to overcome shyness, and initiate contact. This is very very very important because from that point the all things starts. It's something to take on the chest. There is no shortcuts. It's the matter gather up the courage and open mouth, even saying: "hi!" just to initiate contact. If one feels stress before approaching a woman, it's the matter to stop all excuses and just do what "it" doesn't like.

Some things are beyond our control, for example, odor and pheromones - chemistry. People in this matter match to one another or not, can't be done anything in this case.

Another thing is communication skills and the ability to create a good contact with woman. A lot of this is stored in the instincts. But if for some reason it was muffled and off, it have to be restored. The primary reason why women opt for a particular guy is how they feel with him, what emotions are going through her while she is in his company. And this should be the overriding objective: give her such emotions that she will want return to be with me. If one, will be done it successfully then he will have success with women, if one doesn't he won't.

This is how I see it.

This film can offer an interesting perspective on the dynamics of couples that today is the day-to-day. It is a predatory dynamics. An emotional blackmail behaviors according to the belief system about "So are men, So are women, tactics to flirt." :

- Don Jon.

http://<iframe width="560" height="...V8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

"Learn" more from a mimic manual that really overcome your traumas, blocks the the ability to auto-heal and to naturally express your emotions to others, does not allow the progress to emotional maturity, conscience and empathetic. Certainly teaches us as a narcissist acts and moves and highlights the weaknesses of a woman. An effort to act in a way, compelling, persuasive against the women. It would be a situation of push and pull, exactly... until it becomes natural. Applying it, is play like them.

It could strengthen their self-deception. It is self-explanatory. You are purchasing an attitude That does not correspond to who you really are and therefore, you can not see who really is the other person, even for your own protection because you are really busy in deciphering all their signals and respond accurately. Instead of seeing all the existential complex that formed her.

Falsely believe that sharing, even personal issues, is a sign of trust and opportunity to befriend or anything beyond a friendship, remember, exactly what you're doing... "I'm trusting you a part of me/I'm giving you, a part of me".

Relationships are complex. Attitude is the basis, various techniques are just add-ons.

It's not only important who one is, but also how that one appearing to others and how one entering into relationships.

I'm not a PUA, I'm a regular guy I will not expatiate.

Thanks for suggestion but, honestly, I'm not interested, I don't watch such movies, the only one I've seen about seduction and which fell into my memory is Don Juan de Marco (1994):

http://youtu.be/ZQiRtJ6uumk

 

[cheezemurda49]

This question occurred to me;

How can we find romance and at the same time "expect attack" ...

I recently, after nine years of singleness, found a, or she found me, woman..

First day.. Heavenly Bliss.
One month later...
Long story short, she had everything set up to slit my throat while I slept one night.

Problem is, I resemble her dad who, you know.. Was not much of a dad. Sexual abuse.

Although, if life is a mirror, what does this say about me?

Now I would in no way kill my sleeping girlfriend!
At least not that I am consciously aware of...
Am I too raw, ... Writing on here has got me thinking..

1) when you become an alien sex slave at 5yrs old, an now you're 35.. can you really just walk into a room and say Hello! Or despite your.. Best intentions, maybe its better for everyone if you crawl into a hole and die. Of course that's just what they want me to do! Haahhh..u...mmmm.

I am so sorry.

 

[Menna]

How can we find romance and at the same time "expect attack"

There is a difference between being neurotic and being aware. If you are constintly on edge expecting attack from everyone and every thing and this doesn't allow you to "get close" to someone then I'd say this is more neurotic. If you call a spade a spade and are aware of someones programes, narcissitic, codepended tendences and then can protect yourself from their attachment and set boundries then IMO you are being aware. Its a fine line and takes experience.

Problem is, I resemble her dad who, you know.. Was not much of a dad. Sexual abuse.

Although, if life is a mirror, what does this say about me?

Now I would in no way kill my sleeping girlfriend!

Maybe you are looking into the mirror wrong. I wouldn't look at it from "the resemble of the dad" point of view and I am just guessing but this was most likely her opinion. I would look at it as.... Why were you attracted to someone with a history of sexual abuse? Why was she attracted to you and not just physical attraction. The mirror is not physical like we use most mirrors to check ourselves out how we look it is an emotional/intellectual mirror how we relate to others and life and how they relate/see us.

1) when you become an alien sex slave at 5yrs old, an now you're 35.. can you really just walk into a room and say Hello! Or despite your.. Best intentions, maybe its better for everyone if you crawl into a hole and die. Of course that's just what they want me to do! Haahhh..u...mmmm.

elaboration...

 

[denekin]

Hi Guys,

I have a question that I need an honest answer to. A really honest answer.

I already know the correct answer, the default answer.

Is it weird to be a guy well into your adulthood and always have been single?

Before you answer the question here is the correct answer from a forum perspective;

"Oh no it's not weird, you need to work on yourself and you'll naturally find a co-linear partner, you need to understand who you are and what you are looking for etc"

Nonetheless, it's weird, right? Be honest, it is...

Here is the correct answer from the 'rest' of the world perspective

"Yup, completely and utterly weird, you have something wrong with you somewhere, either poor social skills or some attribute that puts any potential partner off you... "

I'm late to this thread and apologize if this response is redundant:
It seems to me that the assumption that we should be partnered up in a romantic relationship is part of very intense, and perhaps increasingly intense, social programming. In most cultures, in most periods of history, some form of "monkhood", or "nunhood", or the status of being a 'solitary' has been accepted. The burden that a person who chooses to be single carries nowadays strikes me as totally unfair, remarkably arbitrary, and severely lacking in imagination. The longing to be loved, to be in love seems to me to be a great social and psychological 'automaticity' that we should all question. It is not an issue of 'is this a good or bad imperative', but rather is this romantic pairing imperative really mine to embrace, or simply something I'm supposed to obsess on. To be free is to make choices, to make choices we have to objectively see what the choices are...That there should be any onus placed on a person for being single is remarkably bizarre...

 

[cheezemurda49]

Hmm. Well, I might be neurotic, then. I'm not sure how much I can elaborate without, repercussions. But then again, I'm just bored of this alien business, sometimes i like to shake it up, but they might just pay me a visit to unbore me.. Haha.. Which is terrifying sometimes, but like a bad dream, exhilarating.

At 5 I didn't understand. I thought it was just bad dreams. But the whole waking up facing opposite of when you went to sleep, quite a lot. Like what is going on? More recently, Strange 3 dot equalateral triangles on the skin, like all the time, oh there's another one....

Little by little, isolate you.. Watch you dying. Obliteration of chakras, but maybe they were just frozen.. I finally stabilized my root chakra after 7 years.. All the shit thats happened its not even possible to sum it up.

So in this "dream..."
I'm sitting there in some room with some other people, and these two guys are having sex with this chick, she is on a table, one guy missionary position, but she is on the table, like a stainless steel table, so level with his member. The other guy is behind her, by her head.. Nothing too unusual except why am I here? LA da Dee da.. They're going at it. And I guess at the point of orgasm(I'm guessing), I didn't really notice cuz I was distracted cuz the guy standing behind the gurl pulled out a bucket, like a pail, not too big, but not small, put it over her head, and I'm like what the... He also has a gun in his other hand, so okay, bucket over head, gun to the bucket, BOOM! ...blood...

Why am I here...

I don't understand why I'm... Here.

It didn't excite me in the least. Just made me question everything. Various scenarios, over time eroding my.. Mind. And isolating me from humans.. And yes, here I am. I feel so far gone. But, not gone.

Why I would be attracted to girl with sexual abuse?

Well, and the thing is, this doesn't happen(for me) on this planet, usually. Its in "dreams" and you know.. The unprovable places. But the experience is there, so have a nice day, they say, now go back to earth and try to socialize with "normal" folk... You know?

And thus nine years of me not having a girlfriend, or actually I just date that from the last time I had sex(yes, I understand I'm a twisted morass, I'm trying to solve my puzzle, tangled web) so I gave up finally, I'm too crazy to be graced with the company of a woman, I accepted it, too far gone, yup, another 25,000yr cycle on this shitty ass planet(love you earth, I know it ain't easy) and then...

And then this girl needed a place to stay. My friend brought her to the camp. But they didn't click. And I could pretty much tell she is psychotic, and by that I mean ..I don't just resemble her dad, at times she thought I WAS her dad.. And also various celebrities, and/or she would think I was someone from her past. But then two minutes later think I was someone else. And you know... The thing is, I love learning! She even looked me in the eye once and she said "Mmmm you are the pinnacle of human perfection". Her eyes had this lizard like look to them, briefly. And of course reading sott, etc for the past 8yrs, I'm thinking.. Veeeeeerrryyy interesting. But also having just arrived at the 2nd chakra, I need some answers. About... Food. And how's the best way to eat, in an STO fashion.. and sex, which is like food, energizing (to me). And I can feel she's possessed by, something, demons, I don't know. But yah, pinnacle of perfection, now I'm not gonna die per se, so get milked, so let's begin.. I've had to dance with devils all my life, so.. Its all just math. And you know, math is fun too. FEAR NOTHING, I guess I went in out of simple curiosity.

Well, and I needed answers. And red ray stimulation to help the 1st chakra heal.

And.. You know people always complain about relationship problems, but I always say to them, Nice Problem To Have, you know? I would LOVE to have a problem like that, oh your girlfriend is nagging you, etc. GEEZUS, I just had to watch some girl get shot in the head by naked alien men... You are SO LUCKY. really.

So the thought of having a schizophrenic psychotic multiplepersonality delusional girlfriend was a step in the right direction, I'd say..

Plus, lve always had this feeling like... I'm here till the last one gets through... Everyone go, before me... Get to Heaven, get to the promised land.. I want everyone to be safe and sound, and when the last one is safe, then I will walk through the door. How can I hang out in heaven in bliss.. No, Ive been there, heaven, 7th density, whatever.. The ultimate ultimate. Or at least this is my thought process. And I looked back and I saw so much suffering, and I said to God; hey man.. Keep the fire burning, I gotta go get my brothers and sisters, and when they get here, then I will come home.

So, yah.. I'm just here to help... I guess that's why I have to see all this horror... Education. So I thought, I can help this girl. But I know I can't shove them through the door.. And neither do I want to. I abhor laziness. I'll show you the door, I may even open it, but I'm not gonna move your feet. Although I might give you some shoes, if it helps you. But even if my going home depends on you walking through that door, I am not going to move your legs, but I may give you crutches, if it helps you.

But these days, I'm starting to see... Or feel... I've went through hell to ... Save people.. Or at least show them the door, but the level of ignorance is astounding! Maybe nobody wants to go ..back.. I just wanna go home. But.. I have no home anymore... And thus my spiritual crisis playing out in the form of Homelessness.

I'm spiritually exhausted. And I guess finally registering and posting after 8 years of reading SOTT, etc. Is feeling like my last resort, my final plea.. Somebody, for gods sakes... How do I ask, or petition a question to the C's? It was they, or some entity that directed me to cassiopaea, and also, before I knew a lick of anything, and once recently, I had contacted, or actually RA, contacted ME! ...

I need some help. Who am I??? I feel ive been blessed to have been contacted by, or referred to the C's, AND RA??? Apparently this doesnt happen to everybody, so whats up?? I know im not the hoohah of HOOHAHS, but really.. What..THE.. YOU KNOW, F. I feel unintelligent to form a question. What would I say.. Hey Cassiopaea, thank you for saying hello. I've been to the 13th level of hell, and... Oh yah, swell time, just swell. Ummm.. I'm wandering through purgatory, right now... There's these folks at SOTT, I am friggin lost... Or maybe I know my way.. I would ask for a clue.. Yes, is there something I'm missing? I have searched and researched and I've danced with angels, and played with devils, I've played with fire and I've played in the dirt. I got burned but I kinda liked it. The dirt was delicious. Have I truly gone mad? Am i missing something? I am .. Not even sure how to proceed, a spiritual stalemate, I could go either way at this point, and I do not know who I am in relation to anything else to know which way I'd like to go. Is there a clue, to motivate my soul, to achieve locomotion iN A direction that would stimulate my true desire, whatever that may be, for it seems hidden from me? (I don't even care to know my true desire, or why it is hidden(unless I really need to know), i would only like a clue, if its even allowable, to point me in the right direction towards my true desire.)

Or in abstract, How do I achieve locomotion towards application of my true desire?

Cuz right now I'm about out of ideas.

 

[luke wilson]

To me, it seems the line, "who am I?" is borne out of Hollywood programming. So is the savior programme. You know, the character who at the beginning of the movie asks that... Later on he discovers he's some hero type savior. Also into the mix you can add the idea of rugs... You know, from rugs to... Well, you know. Think joseph from the bible. I think their is a lot of programming with all these concepts.

"Who are you?" I would hazard the guess that you are just a man. Just like the rest of us. Is that boring?

 

[RedFox]

Hi Guys,

I have a question that I need an honest answer to. A really honest answer.

I already know the correct answer, the default answer.

Is it weird to be a guy well into your adulthood and always have been single?

Before you answer the question here is the correct answer from a forum perspective;

"Oh no it's not weird, you need to work on yourself and you'll naturally find a co-linear partner, you need to understand who you are and what you are looking for etc"

Nonetheless, it's weird, right? Be honest, it is...

Here is the correct answer from the 'rest' of the world perspective

"Yup, completely and utterly weird, you have something wrong with you somewhere, either poor social skills or some attribute that puts any potential partner off you... "

I'm late to this thread and apologize if this response is redundant:
It seems to me that the assumption that we should be partnered up in a romantic relationship is part of very intense, and perhaps increasingly intense, social programming. In most cultures, in most periods of history, some form of "monkhood", or "nunhood", or the status of being a 'solitary' has been accepted. The burden that a person who chooses to be single carries nowadays strikes me as totally unfair, remarkably arbitrary, and severely lacking in imagination. The longing to be loved, to be in love seems to me to be a great social and psychological 'automaticity' that we should all question. It is not an issue of 'is this a good or bad imperative', but rather is this romantic pairing imperative really mine to embrace, or simply something I'm supposed to obsess on. To be free is to make choices, to make choices we have to objectively see what the choices are...That there should be any onus placed on a person for being single is remarkably bizarre...

Not only are they extremely strong social programs, they are hard wired biological/chemical/genetic programs. Following the social program is also hard wired!
I think in the end it boils down to accepting that these 'base (biological) drives' will always exist in us to some degree, and then working to direct the energy they generate into something more positive.
I think there needs to be a balance struck between acceptance of the existence of these drives within us (i.e. not rejecting what is mostly hard wired), and learning to decide what to do with them - which includes not indulging them on a whim. A compassionate, critical, humorous, objective (i.e. not judgmental or fluffy) understanding of self as you are combined with discipline, will power and practice. And more humor at the how ridiculous it is to be human sometimes! We're always ever way too serious/fixated or flippant/dismissive.