finding partners...

[mrelectric91]

I tried being the 'white night', the 'bad boy' and eventually set her up with my best friend (they both really liked each other) in order to show 'how much I loved her'. It didn't seem crazy to me at the time...

Thanks for making me laugh in a healthy way, very elegantly put :)

And thank you much to everyone who shared, it is indeed very nice to know that one isn't the only freak, and that perhaps sharing in the first place wasn't as embarrassing and idiotic as I feared, since it made others share.

I agree with the acceptance thing,
..just pretty hard to accept when acceptance is disturbed by being visited by astro body or what ever the semi physical thing is, and hard to say no to when one wants it at the same time, thus my wanting to shut down psychic abilities, though I'm perhaps out of danger, as I think he has letten go, and that it probably wont happen anymore. -I can survive an evening of slightly sad feeling that is not my own when it only happens once or twice a year as it has the last two years (in the start when he stopped thinking of me I was as sad as relieved)

I 'm not sure if any of us who think that we might have met the polar have or not
(in my case I hope not, as then I have at least a chance to find love in the future, -hehehe and maybe he both plays guitar and understand me )
Though the all of a sudden opening up to something that gives psychic abilities by contact with another person sounds like it, I can't know if it would have happened anyways, or by other means.

I have often before in relationships been able to feel my partner, as feeling sad when they were sad (though in different places) or knowing if my boyfriend was talking to a woman he found attractive when I wasn't present, (I'd say when I saw him "what were you doing at 3 o'clock" and he's say "we were only talking" though I already knew that) But never before the semi physical touch, or sniffing puppies or anything as crazy as that.
I'm just saying this in case someone who reads this thread and have sensed someone, don't think it means someone is polar opposite just because they can feel them (as in that case I'd have several polar opposites)

Thanks again all for being here, It is a lot less lonely, being among good people, even if it's online



PS: Luke, there is no need for lying to get someone to have sex with you, usually all that is needed is to see them for what they are and give them what they need (what they need you will notice once you stop "wanting to pet the cat for your sake") OSIT

Just trying to understand the part I highlighted. So is this essentially external considering, interacting without projecting your needs, so you can respond to the other person objectively?

 

[Miss.K]

PS: Luke, there is no need for lying to get someone to have sex with you, usually all that is needed is to see them for what they are and give them what they need (what they need you will notice once you stop "wanting to pet the cat for your sake") OSIT

Just trying to understand the part I highlighted. So is this essentially external considering, interacting without projecting your needs, so you can respond to the other person objectively?

Yes something like that.
Animals are great teachers of that. I remember once visiting someone that had just got a kitten. There were 4 or 5 people who all thought the kitten was cute and wanted to pet or play with it. They were not mean, but the kitten didn't feel secure.

It seemed as I was the only person there who were able to emphasize with how it would feel to be among strangers that were huge giants that all stared at me, and wanted to pet me. (it doesn't feel safe at all)
I didn't try to pet the kitten, but instead gave it a reassuring "cat smile" which is looking at the cat and blinking slowly as cats do. The kitten immediately ran to me to be protected from those other staring, rudely grabbing giants, and everybody thought I had magic powers or something.
How is it "Common sense is so rare it is a superpower" or something like that.

Well people are like animals in many ways. Thus put yourself in their shoes, then you will know what they need, and if you give them what they need, they'll come to you.
-unless of cause, what they need is for you to go and stay gone, then they won't come, but they'll still like you for giving them what they need, if you stay gone, and might even change their mind, when they know you can understand them and give them what they need :)

 

[Anamarija]

Searching for Love..is that a trap, program or choice?

If you looking in the past, your life, relations and events that you have lived probablly everything happend just the way has to happend. People come and goes in the right moment. Maybe we have a power to decide what will happend after, with our development inside.

I was searching so long and so desperatly, always lived in agony that is not right thing. Never fully satisfied. I was living in ilussions that I'm something that I'm not and that other one is like a god, special, bla, bla. I didn't know how to stop, even I knew that I'm living in illusion, so I "went with my head trought the wall". You wanna live this, ok, you gonna live it, but fully. And then, it was like a breaking glass over my head and in my heart, it wasn't just a thinking, it was knowledge, I knew I'm a fool and it is pointless to stay that way.

So, in the moment when I broke my illusion someone came, but not just anyone. Someone that makes my puzzle complete. Now we learning together and fighting, sometime against each other, sometimes together, but always on the end, we talk, a lot.

It is not bad to be alone and learning you lessons in that way, but when you have someone to share it, for me, it is complete. ;)

Is everything is lesson, then being alone and learning by yourself is great way to grow.

Have a interesting day everyone.

 

[Miss.K]

If you looking in the past, your life, relations and events that you have lived probablly everything happend just the way has to happend. People come and goes in the right moment. Maybe we have a power to decide what will happend after, with our development inside.

I think it is a little more complicated than that.
We live in a dual universe. That means that, as much as something can happen because it was supposed to happen, something can happen that was not supposed to happen.

What we can do when something that wasn't supposed to happen, happens, is do our best to learn from it, and then sometimes we are grateful in the end, that what wasn't supposed to, happened, because we are grateful for having learned the lesson.

That is not the same as everything that happens is supposed to happen, Or so I think :)

 

[Anamarija]

We live in a dual universe. That means that, as much as something can happen because it was supposed to happen, something can happen that was not supposed to happen.

This is not subject so I hope that we are not trolling ;).

So, how can we choose what will happend?

 

[RedFox]

That is not the same as everything that happens is supposed to happen, Or so I think :)

Agreed. We live in a free will universe which means we can 'willfully' automatically sleep walk through things based on likes and dislikes, just like a moth likes to head towards light or flames.
Add in forces in the universe that have an agenda (both 'human' and unseen) and they can direct this by tuning our likes, dislikes and beliefs - for there own end.
So perhaps everything that happens is 'supposed' to happen - according to those who manipulate us for their own gain.

It may be worth asking what likes, dislikes and beliefs are not our own?
Do farm animals assume everything that happens to them is supposed to happen I wonder?
It is what the farmer intends to happen to them after all.

 

[lilyalic]

That is not the same as everything that happens is supposed to happen, Or so I think :)

Agreed. We live in a free will universe which means we can 'willfully' automatically sleep walk through things based on likes and dislikes, just like a moth likes to head towards light or flames.
Add in forces in the universe that have an agenda (both 'human' and unseen) and they can direct this by tuning our likes, dislikes and beliefs - for there own end.
So perhaps everything that happens is 'supposed' to happen - according to those who manipulate us for their own gain.

It may be worth asking what likes, dislikes and beliefs are not our own?
Do farm animals assume everything that happens to them is supposed to happen I wonder?
It is what the farmer intends to happen to them after all.

This reminded me of The Magician & his sheep!

“There is an Eastern tale which speaks about a very rich magician who had a great many sheep. But at the same time this magician was very mean. He did not want to hire shepherds, nor did he want to erect a fence about the pasture where his sheep were grazing. The sheep consequently often wandered into the forest, fell into ravines, and so on, and above all they ran away, for they knew that the magician wanted their flesh and skins and this they did not like.

“At last the magician found a remedy. He hypnotized his sheep and suggested to them first of all that they were immortal and that no harm was being done to them when they were skinned, that, on the contrary, it would be very good for them and even pleasant; secondly he suggested that the magician was a good master who loved his flock so much that he was ready to do anything in the world for them; and in the third place he suggested to them that if anything at all were going to happen to them it was not going to happen just then, at any rate not that day, and therefore they had no need to think about it. Further the magician suggested to his sheep that they were not sheep at all; to some of them he suggested that they were lions, to others that they were eagles, to others that they were men, and to others that they were magicians.

“And after all this his cares and worries about the sheep came to an end. They never ran away again but quietly awaited the time when the magician would require their flesh and skins.

“This tale is a very good illustration of man’s position."

 

[Anamarija]

It sounds like we don't have a choice. But we do, we can learn more and more till we become ready for 4D, right?

So, if we go back on subject, what about love, can we choice love/partner direct or on indirect way?

 

[Miss.K]

It sounds like we don't have a choice. But we do, we can learn more and more till we become ready for 4D, right?

I think the choice we have is to learn more. If the sheep understand that they are sheep and the magician has hypnotized them, they have a better chance to resist the hypnosis. Knowledge protects!

So, if we go back on subject, what about love, can we choice love/partner direct or on indirect way?

I don't know, but I think the conclusion from the talk in this thread is that we can only work on being ready for love, and capable of loving, and then let it be up to the universe to send a lover our way or not.

Love is Light is Knowledge, as the Cs say, we can't really love before we understand what loving means, we can't really love someone else before we understand who they are (one can't love if one don't know what one loves), and so as I see it, it comes back to working on cleaning the machine (as Gurdieff says), as we can't really know or love anything before we know and love ourselves. (loving one self should not be confused with being selfish, love makes things grow, so real love for one self should make one grow beyond ego)

 

[Anamarija]

It sounds like we don't have a choice. But we do, we can learn more and more till we become ready for 4D, right?

I think the choice we have is to learn more. If the sheep understand that they are sheep and the magician has hypnotized them, they have a better chance to resist the hypnosis. Knowledge protects!

So, if we go back on subject, what about love, can we choice love/partner direct or on indirect way?

I don't know, but I think the conclusion from the talk in this thread is that we can only work on being ready for love, and capable of loving, and then let it be up to the universe to send a lover our way or not.

Love is Light is Knowledge, as the Cs say, we can't really love before we understand what loving means, we can't really love someone else before we understand who they are (one can't love if one don't know what one loves), and so as I see it, it comes back to working on cleaning the machine (as Gurdieff says), as we can't really know or love anything before we know and love ourselves. (loving one self should not be confused with being selfish, love makes things grow, so real love for one self should make one grow beyond ego)

Very nice said, and gave me some answers, thank you Miss.K ;).

 

[Keyhole]

It sounds like we don't have a choice. But we do, we can learn more and more till we become ready for 4D, right?

So, if we go back on subject, what about love, can we choice love/partner direct or on indirect way?

Well from the 4th way perspective a choice is define by conscious intent. So theoretically, any "choice" that we make that is not directed by conscious intent would actually not be a "choice" and would in fact be just a reactionary response from the mechanical automaton (you, the machine). So I guess the important thing to consider is that MOST of the time, we don't have any will to make a real choice. But not to let this mindset be self defeating in the sense that you should not Work to make choices, SEE and FEEL it as a fact that you have no choice. If you know that you have no choice, you gain some ability to begin to make choices.

99.9+% of the time a relationship/love/partner is just the result of mechanicalness. Simplified, I think it goes something like this : Machine perceives stimulus for gaining pleasure for self > Machine becomes accustomed to routine > Machine sees other stimulus for pleasure/ gets bored of current stimulus > Machine moves onto next source of pleasure. This process involves a variety of processes in the brain involving chemical highs such as dopamine and oxytocin. If a relationship begins because of a rush of chemicals in the brain, it is not based on choice. In theory, someone CAN "choose" partners in a direct way, however this choice would have to be coming from a conscious place in the self and not be affected by hormones or programmes.

 

[Anamarija]

Well from the 4th way perspective a choice is define by conscious intent. So theoretically, any "choice" that we make that is not directed by conscious intent would actually not be a "choice" and would in fact be just a reactionary response from the mechanical automaton (you, the machine). So I guess the important thing to consider is that MOST of the time, we don't have any will to make a real choice. But not to let this mindset be self defeating in the sense that you should not Work to make choices, SEE and FEEL it as a fact that you have no choice. If you know that you have no choice, you gain some ability to begin to make choices.

99.9+% of the time a relationship/love/partner is just the result of mechanicalness. Simplified, I think it goes something like this : Machine perceives stimulus for gaining pleasure for self > Machine becomes accustomed to routine > Machine sees other stimulus for pleasure/ gets bored of current stimulus > Machine moves onto next source of pleasure. This process involves a variety of processes in the brain involving chemical highs such as dopamine and oxytocin. If a relationship begins because of a rush of chemicals in the brain, it is not based on choice. In theory, someone CAN "choose" partners in a direct way, however this choice would have to be coming from a conscious place in the self and not be affected by hormones or programmes.

This is very complex for me to understand so I'm gonna need some time to study this. But, I have a question even you, maybe, already explain me that in the posts before. Sorry, but I'm still puzzled:

Is it possible that my choices in the past gave me this great present (couple of my dreams/wishes becomes reality and much better) or not?
(Forget about my nervous nature, today I'm much more happier than before.) ;D

 

[lilyalic]

Well from the 4th way perspective a choice is define by conscious intent. So theoretically, any "choice" that we make that is not directed by conscious intent would actually not be a "choice" and would in fact be just a reactionary response from the mechanical automaton (you, the machine). So I guess the important thing to consider is that MOST of the time, we don't have any will to make a real choice. But not to let this mindset be self defeating in the sense that you should not Work to make choices, SEE and FEEL it as a fact that you have no choice. If you know that you have no choice, you gain some ability to begin to make choices.

99.9+% of the time a relationship/love/partner is just the result of mechanicalness. Simplified, I think it goes something like this : Machine perceives stimulus for gaining pleasure for self > Machine becomes accustomed to routine > Machine sees other stimulus for pleasure/ gets bored of current stimulus > Machine moves onto next source of pleasure. This process involves a variety of processes in the brain involving chemical highs such as dopamine and oxytocin. If a relationship begins because of a rush of chemicals in the brain, it is not based on choice. In theory, someone CAN "choose" partners in a direct way, however this choice would have to be coming from a conscious place in the self and not be affected by hormones or programmes.

This is very complex for me to understand so I'm gonna need some time to study this. But, I have a question even you, maybe, already explain me that in the posts before. Sorry, but I'm still puzzled:

Is it possible that my choices in the past gave me this great present (couple of my dreams/wishes becomes reality and much better) or not?
(Forget about my nervous nature, today I'm much more happier than before.) ;D

Basically, we're not so much conscious machines - we're constantly ran off programs / past experiences / chemicals etcetc... so this would not be conscious intent - your "choices" in the past where most likely mechanical (i.e. you were not conscious at the time, didn't have intent, you just went with what 'felt' right or what you 'thought' was right, which is probably all messed up like everyone's) And in terms of relationships - the other partner is just a "feel good" (chemicals, thoughts, patterns, programs)... Gurjijeff also said "things just happen" i.e. we believe we make choices but really they just happened and we have no control over anything at all... until this conscious intent comes about

IMO, I think it's possible that your "choices" although unconscious at the time maybe - did lead you to this path. But I always thought those who get into the Work, it was some sort of destiny - some sort of "knowing" (eventually) the BS of the world etc.. or maybe this just "happened?" - if it did just happen, HOW LUCKY.

 

[Keyhole]

This is very complex for me to understand so I'm gonna need some time to study this. But, I have a question even you, maybe, already explain me that in the posts before. Sorry, but I'm still puzzled:

Is it possible that my choices in the past gave me this great present (couple of my dreams/wishes becomes reality and much better) or not?
(Forget about my nervous nature, today I'm much more happier than before.) ;D

I apologise, I will try to explain it in another way...

If were are speaking in general terms, then: yes, every choice, every thought and every action you ever made led you to the point where you are NOW, this present moment (and everything that comes with that).

What I was saying before was that if we approach this from Gurdjieff's perspective, then the answer would be no. What has led you to the present moment did not consist of CHOICES, but rather a flow of uncontrolled, mechanical events that just "happened". Gurdjieff supposedly said that people do not have the ability to make choices because they have not yet developed their Will, they cannot DO and... instead everything in their life just "happens".

If I remember correctly he also said that a "choice" is characterised by conscious intent. If the choice was moving in the direction of consciousness, rather then sleep (mechanicalness), then it could properly be defined as a "choice". It was a true act of Free Will. Whereas if the decision/choice was not moving in the direction of consciousness and was actually moving towards a state of sleep, then this is not defined as a "choice" but rather just a mechanical act.

So with this in mind, if a person is not attempting to act consciously and are active in the Work, then the likelihood of making any real "choices" is very low. It is highly probable that things just "happened" the way that they did. We also need to consider lesson plans here as well, and "Soul Questing" coined by the C's. If a soul has developed sufficiently then it would naturally seek out a way to transition to 4D as part of a natural progression. I hope this makes a bit more sense

 

[casper]

So, if we go back on subject, what about love, can we choice love/partner direct or on indirect way?

The point is to increase awareness in everyday life, consecrated unconscious contents of the human psyche, interruption of false identification, development of mental balance, the greater the accumulation of mental and general life energy, increased vitality, conscious life for every moment. :)