I made the decision to join FOTCM too - I have filled out the online form. Did you receive it? I am not sure, as there was no notification on the site, just the display of the filled formulae for printing. Tomorrow, I will send the printed exemplar to the French address via mail.
In fact, it had long been my wish to join. In summer 2010 I wanted to make an earnest attempt to join, but then my PC cracked down from a Trojan horse when I was going about to do it. When it was fixed, the predator's mind had gotten the better of me.
I thought, I was too pathological (I even thought of myself being a psychopath), not competent enough to be a good member, too detached from people (not feeling able to become intimate with them), not able to grow etc. It was lacking self trust, laziness and distraction. Even last week, when the sessions had been taken from the public forum, I commented how I wanted to return to the network in some time to be at least active in the outer fringes (as I had been until the end of 2012). I composed that reply due to my tendency to talk and then often not going through with things (which is something I think I really have to work upon, when I want to be a FOTCM member - but I didn't trust myself to be able to grow this trait: of being able to walk walks). I also found it difficult to make a decision. So I always stayed at the crossroads, squeezed between chairs and feeling displaced.
But reading the doubts of others and you guys encouraging them to join nonetheless convinced me. The wish awoke again, like something burning in my heart. Also, the current developments on global scale contributed to it and the latest two sessions, especially the part of putting knowledge into action in order to BE, otherwise one would descend to become a petty tyrant (if I remember correctly). I don't want to become a petty tyrant; instead I want to try the other path. If I can help the light to shine brighter in the increasing darkness, I will do it. This time I am determined to not let the predator's mind win. There are still so many programs to clean, and I am afraid that I fail again to push through.
However, I feel very elated after finally filling out the form. I also had spent several hours to read the Statement of Principles, and the part regarding the Soul Community made me cry. It resonated deeply in my heart (except for some times, when the predator's mind rose its head). I put quite some (personal) information in the form, so you can start to know me better. Hopefully, this is not out of place there.