Re: Black Magic, Shamanism, Supernatural, Graham Hancock
I meant to post this awhile back in order to help compare with the drug-induced shamanic experiences but the holidays got in the way...
Ok, so this experience that I recognize as being shamanic is close to the one that Laura has already written about where she was given a necklace while meditating. I remember being about 11 years old when it happened. It was a dream that happened while I was asleep but it must have occurred right before I woke up since it was very bright out already. I remember walking into a tent and seeing these very wise, older men there waiting for me. They were very proud of me and I was proud of myself too. They held out a beautiful necklace for me that was the most stunning thing I have ever seen. A huge oval ruby in the center set inside very intricate gold work. One of them looked at me carefully as he held it out towards me and said, “you know what this means don’t you?” I did know, it meant that now that I was to receive this gift, I could or would never lie and would always tell the truth as best as I knew it to be. I think it was implied or shown to me somehow that any deceit on my part would literally harm my body. They placed the necklace on me and I remember leaving to walk barefoot across the most amazing grass I had ever touched. It was almost as if each blade had it’s own awareness somehow. I was approaching a rivulet and knew that once I stepped over it, the experience would end. Before I did, I remember glancing down at the stunning necklace in awe of how amazing it was. I remember thinking that it was the most beautiful necklace I had ever seen but that it was going to really get in the way while I was playing- a typical kid thought! I stepped over the river and woke up feeling on my chest where I knew that necklace would be and was absolutely shocked to find that it wasn’t there since the experience had been so real.
This next experience was the catalyst that eventually lead me here to the forum and until I read this thread, I didn’t see that it was a shamanic experience at all. Apologies ahead of time for the length of this…
The “setup” occurred over a number of years ago so I’ll have to go back in time to April 2002. It began with my husband purchasing a dream journal for me, which was sort of out of his character, but I was happy with it since I’ve always had interesting dreams that I liked to recall and contemplate. The first dream I had and recorded in it was on April 13th. It begins with me flying to the top of this tall building where I see a man with a black jacket looking outside of this tall arched window. I’m completely absorbed with whoever this person is and at once have an overwhelming feeling of love for this man knowing that he was meant to be my true love and not my husband who was sleeping beside me. I found the dream disturbing since I was happy in my marriage but wrote it down as my first entry and then tried to forget about it.
Flash-forward to 2005 and I find myself living in a new home with child number two. My husband gives me the exciting news that we have the opportunity to move to Toronto for his work. I remember thinking about this move while at home one day when all of a sudden, I instantly “knew” that I would meet a man, a teacher who would be able to show me the path to my own enlightenment (something I had been searching for since I was a teenager) and even had a vision of him and his blue eyes to go with it. I was very excited about this prospect.
So it’s now 2006 and I’m in a newly built home that is just a couple of years old and it becomes apparent to me that even though it’s new, there is a ghost in the house. Everyone including my husband thinks I’m nuts but no one can change my mind since I regularly heard him stomping down my basement steps at night, heard my three year old talking to him and even had him kiss me while I was sleeping one night! Blechhh! That was totally revolting. Anyway, the only person who believed me was my good friend and neighbor down the street who mentioned that she had hired a local psychic to do some readings for her and a few friends and that maybe he could help. Since I was desperate and couldn’t sleep, I called him immediately and before I even mentioned anything he started to tell me about this dead dude living in my house. That was enough proof for me! So it was arranged that he would come and get rid of him and give a couple of readings for me, my sister and brother-in-law just for fun. My husband would have nothing to do with the guy and was unusually hostile toward the whole arrangement. He wouldn’t even let the children see the psychic and decided he wouldn’t be there to participate.
On the day the psychic arrived, I was so nervous and couldn’t explain why. I didn’t even calm down once he showed up and I saw that he seemed perfectly harmless. He got rid of the ghost immediately (he described him as an attachment to me-which was the first time I had heard it put that way) and told me a little bit about the entity- that he was enamored with me since I reminded him of his wife. Eww. With that done, we proceeded with my reading. He told me that my spirit guide was a shaman which was very powerful and explained that his mother was one too before she passed away. All of a sudden he went very quite and looked extremely uncomfortable. He claimed that his mother in fact had come to this reading and was communing with my spirit guide, which really freaked him out since he had only personally been visited by his own mother a handful of times. I sat there struggling to figure out what was going on and was intently watching his every move since he seemed really flustered. I also noted that he had amazing blue eyes (later of course, I would understand him to be the person who I had the premonition about before I moved!! What an amazing turn of events!). Besides that strange event, nothing about the rest of the reading really stood out for me.
Later that night though, as I was falling asleep I had this overwhelming impression that this psychic’s dead mother was giving me a message that she urgently wanted me to convey to him! She wanted me to let him know that he was supposed to also be a Shaman following in her footsteps and that he needed to start working in that direction. Now, I have no psychic abilities other than a good sense of intuition so this was a very strange experience for me. For more than a week I debated what to do about this since I wasn’t psychic and I didn’t even want to admit to anyone that this happened. I felt this overwhelming pressure to give this guy this message but was really unsure of contacting him with this since I wasn’t the psychic, he was. I didn’t want to seem like an idiot! In the end I made an appointment to visit with him at his new apartment since he was just moving in and didn’t have time to meet me anywhere else. He welcomed me into his apartment which was on the top floor of a tall apartment building and after I reluctantly told him what I believed to be was a message from his mother, he invited me into his living room to sit down and talk about it since he seemed a little shaken. While sitting there nervously recounting my experience, I looked around the apartment and noticed the beautiful view he had of the city from a tall arched two-storey window. Something was familiar about that window but I couldn’t really place it. The other strange thing was that I was beginning to feel a deep connection to this person I hardly knew. It occurred to me that this wasn’t the best situation for a married women- alone in another man’s apartment with a person who I barely knew and I began to feel very uncomfortable so I decided to leave since I sensed sexual advances by him were not far off.
As the weeks went by, we exchanged a few e-mails and the connection I felt to him grew which was odd because there was nothing other than his eyes that I would ordinarily consider remotely attractive. He also corresponded with my sister quite often as well and he began to tell each of us that we were both clairvoyant which was why I had those strange experiences (i.e. The beginning of the “your so special” maneuver). Of course the more he told each of us, the more enamored of him we both became and the correspondence continued. I also just happened to find my dream journal from all those years ago and when I read that first entry, I was paralyzed. That building that I saw in my dream was the one I had met him in only I was viewing it from inside the window rather than out!!!! The implications were just too much. Did I feel this strong connection to this man because he was in fact my soul mate? What was I supposed to do with this new knowledge as a happily married mother of two? I remember lying in my bed at night trying hard to sort out all of the bizarre events and praying for an answer in the form of a dream or anything.
Well I did have a dream that was truly strange but just seemed to confirm my connection to this psychic. I lived within an American Indian tribe somewhere in the Colorado area and I was about 13 years old. A boy that I had a serious crush on saw me watching him and knew that I liked him. He came up to me and kissed me three times- once on the corner of my mouth, once on my neck and once right over my heart. After this, he looked into my eyes, smiled a gorgeous smile and ran off into the forest. My whole body felt like it was vibrating with energy and when I woke up, I felt the same way for quite a few minutes. Of course, I instantly “knew” that this boy I had dreamed of was the psychic and I had a past life experience with him.
Shortly after this, while I was at the local community center with my children I had the unstoppable urge to cry. I had no reason whatsoever for the overwhelming sense of sadness I felt but it didn’t matter the tears began flowing. I tried to maintain some sense of control over myself since I was in a public place with my children at swimming lessons but it wasn’t very successful. The tears and sadness just kept coming! I rushed everyone home, made it through dinner, got everyone to bed early and just jumped in the shower and sobbed and sobbed. I cried for probably eight straight hours and during this time I was aware that a past life in which a man I was in love with chose another women to be with him instead of me and that was one of the reasons for the grief. And utter grief is absolutely what it felt like when I relived how it felt to be dismissed by someone I loved. At one point it felt like shock waves of grief were breaking out of my heart like the shockwaves of a nuclear explosion. This happened 5 times and I think this must be what true heart break feels like. It was awful and cathartic all at once and of course when it was over I was convinced that the man in the vision was that same psychic I knew.
I had to get to the bottom of things somehow because it was all just too much and the stress of it was causing me to lose weight and my hair was actually starting to fall out. I knew something was up but I couldn’t figure out what exactly it was and as I talked to my sister about this, I had the clear impression that she was withholding details of her own conversations with him from me. It began to seem like a competition between the two of us for this person’s attention was underway. And that’s when I stopped and really tried to figure out just what the hell was going on. When I began comparing notes with my sister, it turned out that he was trying to manipulate us both by appealing to our egos. He had told us all sorts of things that we wanted to hear in order to prey upon us in a sexual way and when we called him on it, he ran.
Now it took along time for me to piece things together from this event and it wasn’t until I came across the online version of the The Wave that I began to figure it all out. In retrospect, that psychic was most definitely an OP and a sexual predator. I also had a small panic attack when I read the Greenbaum paper, specifically the part about the psychic killers who communicate with their dead mothers (I forgot to mention that he was in the army and had told me he had killed a man!). But I always wondered about the heart breaking grief episode until just recently. I was sure that that whole experience was some sort of manipulation by the psychic using black magic to confuse me but after reading this post from Laura:
Laura said:
Fascinating, Rx. I had my first "shamanic" experience when I was two or three also. I described it in "Grace". It was extremely disturbing to me. I wasn't sick at the time, and it occurred in what might be called a hypnopompic state... upon awakening. I had another profound experience when I was nine and, in that case, the experience was connected with a severe illness. That, too, is described in Grace.
But, what is important here is what is done with these experiences. I think you (and all others interested in this topic) should read John Keel's "The Eighth Tower" and "Operation Trojan Horse." According to the Cs - which meshes well with what Keel wrote based on extensive research - and my own experiences, individuals with these capacities are tracked from birth, targeted, and corrupted "to the Dark Side" with clever paranormal propaganda.
It was via the Cs (and my own research) that I was helped to avoid a great deal in terms of the pitfalls of taking the wrong turns at these various decision points. The LAST of the experiences that the STS side was able to manufacture for my shamanic awareness occurred in the summer of 1995. The Cs referred to it as an "eclipsing of realities". Apparently, at that point, there was a "test" and I chose creativity and light. I didn't know it at the time, but then, that's how the creative forces work: you aren't given evidence in advance, the choice must be unweighted. It's the STS side that works overtime to convince you that you are having a bona-fide amazing experience, healing, interaction with good guys, and so on so that you think "wow! I'm so speshul!" Right there, you are lost.
Certainly, just about everything that the creative/positive path manifests can be experienced on the negative path, including healling, profound "spiritual experiences" that are staged, etc, but they are always accompanied by twists at crucial points, and what is called "bidding." An example of this is Whitley Streiber as described by Michael Topper. You can read about it here:
http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/stalking.htm
Hancock writes about the connection between the UFO phenomenon and shamanic experiences as though this was a revelation to him. He should have been reading Keel. I wrote about this and published my thoughts (at the time) on the net back in about 1996.
http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/demons.htm So, Hancock is way behind the eightball - a day late and a dollar short figuring things out.
I don't have much time today, but I'm going to try to get back to Hancock's book and post some of my notes here.
I believe that what was happening was the awakening of my emotional center. I also think the experience was manipulated slightly or “twisted” to cause me to attribute the event to the psychic somehow and obscure my own shamanic experience. Of course I would love to hear from any one else who has another interpretation since it really could have been plain old manipulation of another sort.
No matter what, looking back on what I’ve just written, what a lesson! It pretty much covered everything from OPs to bidding, to apparent 4D STS manipulation and spirit attachments. Thank goodness for Laura and her team for putting all of her research out on the web as well as providing this forum as I would have never come this far in teasing this event apart on my own without it.
Rx
