"Healing Developmental Trauma" by L. Heller and A. LaPierre

[dugdeep]

Here are my results:

Connection: 23.08%
Attunement: 28.57%
Autonomy: 61.54%
Trust: 7.69%
Love-sexuality: 23.08%

That high Autonomy score makes a lot of sense.

 

[mkrnhr]

Just received the book and it's already a rough ride. It's as if it invites you to review your life and how you "dealt" with situations at various stages. Disturbing would be another qualification.
The short quiz gave the following scores:
Connection 30.77%
Attunement 7.14%
Autonomy 30.77%
Trust 15.38%
Love-sexuality 23.08%

 

[Jones]

Here is a transcription of an interview with Dr. Heller.


http://www.shrinkrapradio.com/382.pdf

Even after having read Peter Levines book I really didn't make some connections. I rolled the car I was driving last year and was very lucky to be relatively unscathed. I had a bump just above my temple on the left side and a laceration to my scalp that needed some stitches. I don't remember much about the accident, in fact I don't remember getting in the car but I didn't realise until I read this that there were some carry-overs from that. I have only one flash of being surprised and not prepared for an intersection - and it certainly does stir me up to bring that image to mind.

On the test I got:
Connection - 61.54%
Attunement - 28.57%
Autonomy - 69.23%
Trust - 7.69%
Love/Sexuality - 15.38%

Outside of the possible inaccuracy of self testing, these scores may be a little high...I have taken part in cathartic/abreactive therapy. I have been really struggling since then and have felt shamed that it didn't seem to be working for me and have felt as though I have to dig really deep sometimes to get the simplest of things done. I'm also staying with my mother at the moment while I'm waiting for a property settlement.

I can look back at times where these things didn't seem to have such an impact on me - and when I think about it there was at least one person in the environment who seemed to tap into my need for connection, attunement or autonomy - or I was alone and I felt more connected and attuned to myself and had more autonomy. Sometimes being drawn to those environments or people has had disastrous consequences, others it felt liberating and freeing. But then, there's the old, 'everything you need is inside yourself' and I could also feel a sense of shame or over dependency at needing this stuff from the external environment and if someone gave the slightest hint that I was being too needy, I'd also feel shame and mostly not find it too hard to withdraw from them - even though it could hurt - and let them be. I do recognise times when this was much harder though.

The book also seems to shed some light on my attitude to exercise as a means to itself. I've often started exercise programs but had difficulty maintaining them. I don't avoid physical activity though unless I'm feeling highly stressed. I have preferred exercise to have some other practical value. I like having house and garden jobs and projects - but I've not liked them to have time pressure - I could be quite productive without the time pressure if I could take the task at my own speed. I like to feel fit and I know I generally feel better when I am, but I'm wondering if the whole intense physical exercise thing has provided for a connection to my body that is too intense? Because I like to feel fit, I have often gravitated to employment that has a physical element to it. However, I've found that if the physical side of the job is too intense - I don't feel as though I get fit to the job, if that makes sense. As an example I worked a very intensely physical job about three years ago and for that 12 months I was consistently lifting and carrying weight. In 12 months I didn't ever feel that level of fitness where the lifting and carrying come easily - it was a struggle every day. I know that physical work can hurt physically until you get fit but now I'm wondering if that intense physical work over 6-8 hours provided for such an intense connection to my body that I was also in touch with emotional hurt that wasn't shifting. Or didn't allow for pendulation so I was just bracing against it - so there was extra energy being burned in suppression.

I've also had a though about 'panic attacks' while reading the book and I'm wondering if in some cases it might be counter productive to label them as such. The language is kind of suggestive of your body attacking you and this is kind of disempowering. So instead of labelling them that way, I've been trialling telling myself that this is just my body healing and it will pass and I'll be stronger for it. Feedback on that thought is welcome incase there is something I've missed and there is a hidden element of harm that I haven't considered.

 

[Zadius Sky]

I just took the quiz and received:

Connection: 23.08%
Attunement: 14.29%
Autonomy: 23.08%
Trust: 23.08%
Love-sexuality: 23.08%

I just started reading the book.

 

[annp]

I just took the test - the results were a bit of a surprise, actually, so need to re-read the section on Love-Sexuality. Think I am in a bit of denial about some facets of my personality.


Connection: 23.08%
Attunement: 21.43%
Autonomy: 15.38%
Trust: 23.08%
Love-Sexuality: 30.77%

 

[Beau]

Connection: 23%
Attunement: 35%
Autonomy: 7%
Trust: 7%
Love-Sexuality: 23%

 

[nicklebleu]

Haven’t started reading the book - still trying to catch up with the reading list (currently half-way through of Raine’s book AoV).

Took the quiz nonetheless:

Connection: 30.77%
Attunement: 28.57%
Autonomy: 15.38%
Trust: 38.46%
Love-Sexuality: 30.77%

Trust issues don’t come as a surprise, since most of my early recollections as a child have to do with abandonment or my mother not standing up for me.

The reason that the numbers don’t add up to 100% could be either because these numbers are percentiles in some way (telling you at what level your score is compared to others within the same group) or because there is some overlap between the categories (like there would be some relationship between say connection and trust, as it requires trust to enter into a deep connection with another person).

Unfortunately there is not more information on the website - the link given leads to a “website under construction).

 

[Meg]

I took the quiz, too. The results are:

Connection: 23%
Attunement: 35%
Autonomy: 15%
Trust: 15%
Love-Sexuality: 23%

 

[987baz]

I've just finished reading the book, very insightful and I especially resonated with the example given about Paul at the end of the book. I will read-read that part again.

My scores for the test are:

Connection 30.77%
Attunemnet 28.57%
Autonomy 30.77%
Trust 7.69%
Love-sexuality 30.77%

Pretty much what expected, a bit from each, I thought Autonomy would be the highest.

It would be interesting to see, those who are doing the N.O. therapy, to take this little test again in a few weeks and see if the results are any different?

 

[Arwenn]

Here are my results from the quiz:

Connection 23.08%
Attunement 7.14%
Autonomy 15.38%
Trust 38.46%
Love/Sexuality 23.08%

I actually thought I'd score higher in the Connection survival strategy, but otherwise the results seem about right.

 

[Bluefyre]

Laurelayn, sharing experience is so helpful. Thank you.

My results:

Connection 61.548%
Attunement 28.57%
Autonomy 46.15%
Trust 15.38%
Love/Sexuality 7.69%

No real surprises, but I also had to focus on the present while answering the questions, but still have deep issues that I'm working on.

 

[Gaby]

I know that physical work can hurt physically until you get fit but now I'm wondering if that intense physical work over 6-8 hours provided for such an intense connection to my body that I was also in touch with emotional hurt that wasn't shifting. Or didn't allow for pendulation so I was just bracing against it - so there was extra energy being burned in suppression.

It could be. I think your body also has the awareness of when too much is too much and in a sense, you don't end up feeling more than you can handle right now.

A few years ago, I opted for physical activity as a means to not fall in parasympathetic "frozen" mode and facilitate body coordination. Due to my environment and also due to personal preference, I opted for a discipline in Martial Arts, also knowing that I can get very angry. Even when I tended to suppress anger for most of my life, a sudden relesase of energy could amount to a "super volcano" waking up. My thinking was that the Martial Arts would balance things up a bit. Sometimes I would go depressed to the training and get out totally fine. Although it helped, I didn't connect with myself. In fact, I was just noticing recently how I seemed to be doing all my exercises as if walking on a cloud. That is, I don't exactly have my feet on the ground (lack of "grounding").

There has been a slight shift though since I read this book and since the neurofeedback sessions. My body seems to ask for the physical activity and I'm slightly more grounded when I do certain movements.

I also do yoga stretching exercises before training, and my legs are shivering compulsively. It feels good after the shivering is done.

It reminds me of a story from NF practitioner Sebern Fisher: she had a patient who was a black belt and meditated for years, but until she connected with her body, she didn't felt like she was doing things correctly and/or she realized she was actually meditating properly. It was only as she grounded more in her body that she knew she was actually meditating for the first time.

I've also had a though about 'panic attacks' while reading the book and I'm wondering if in some cases it might be counterproductive to label them as such. The language is kind of suggestive of your body attacking you and this is kind of disempowering. So instead of labelling them that way, I've been trialling telling myself that this is just my body healing and it will pass and I'll be stronger for it. Feedback on that thought is welcome incase there is something I've missed and there is a hidden element of harm that I haven't considered.

I think that was a good approach. I also felt panicky while reading the book, which is why I dissociated most of the time until I found resources to keep going. I kept reminding myself that as I find ways to self-regulate and connect with myself, I'll dissociate less. Never approached it that way, which brings back the point of grounding and orienting instead of focusing on the past and beating yourself.

My 2 cents!

 

[Gaby]

My results:

Connection 53.85%
Attunement 28.57%
Autonomy 15.38%
Trust 0%
Love-sexuality 0%

Not that I don't have trust or love-sexuality issues, but the questionnaire is too simplistic, IMO. If you have a connection problem, it follows that there would be problems with the rest, including trust and sexuality.

 

[Ollie]

I'm about two thirds of the way through the book, and, it's disturbing in all the things that I can equate with, specifically: connection survival. So, it is no surprise that I got the following scores:

Connection 54%
Attunement 36%
Autonomy 23%
Trust 15%
Love-sexuality 23%

 

[Seppo Ilmarinen]

My results:

Connection: 30.77%
Attunement: 35.71%
Autonomy: 23.08%
Trust: 23.08%
Love-sexuality: 38.46%

I just bought the book and looking forward to start reading it.