How are you feeling?

[Artisan Well]

I have been dealing with a strange sensation, and I use the word precisely because it does not feel like an emotion, that I perceive to be just outside my physical body a few inches (though it does penetrate the body somewhat) in the solar plexus (or lower at the umbilicus area). It is not necessarily unpleasant. It is intermittent and seems unrelated to any thoughts or events, other than sometimes just as I am falling asleep (but not only). The closest thing I could describe it to is a falling sensation. As I think about it, I wonder if this is what anxiety feels like?

The first time I noticed this sensation was when my mother was dying in Summer 2019 and I was with her in the hospice facility. At that time I wondered if it was a spirit attachment, or maybe something related to the umbilicus due to losing my mother.

I practice yoga and this seems to alleviate the sensation temporarily. Also, I've started practicing EE with this in mind as one of the things I would like to clear. The day after my first full practice on Zoom with the group, it came back after a long period of not experiencing it very often.

My intention is to feel it, breathe into it and let it move through and out. I also ask what I can learn from it. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't a positive thing, like an opening or expansion.

I am 58 years old and I have done quite a bit of work on myself throughout the years, processing emotions, removing triggers etc. I would say I am in excellent physical health and my life is going very well.

The sensation feels like a field of energy, maybe current or electrified or just excited, activated. It is annoying, but not uncomfortable or painful or particularly icky. I am starting a notebook to record when I feel it, time of day, activities & thoughts, and recent food or beverage in-take.

 

[Ricardo]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

(FWIIW ) Prayer helps , try finding something you are ,have been , and will be grateful for , else , qui gong , or simple contemplative exercises , (ie sage pose), or all at the same time :P , sts is always looking for prey in this environment , easiest trap for humans is emotional ones , hope this helps.

 

[Chetofloj]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

I don't have children and if I did maybe I would think the same sometimes because having children means having a lot of patience and responsibility but in reality since I never had children I don't know what it's like.
If you have such overwhelming thoughts, I don't know what it's like to be under your skin. I don't know if it's any use to give you encouragement since what you describe is painful and I hope you find the pain reliever you need.
It's a shame that many of us are in situations like this... I think we all suffer to a lesser or greater extent.
I ask you a question: do you do what you like?
What would you like to do? , how to find a lover, go travel, etc.
If you organize yourself you can do it, it's just a matter of time.
There is nothing wrong with doing what we like as long as you organize yourself, for example if you leave your children you must be responsible and leave them with responsibility... I think it's all a matter of organizing yourself and doing what you like as long as there is a point of balance.

 

[naorma]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

I can understand your feelings!!!! A lot of us - at least around me - had or have some nasty times - old things coming up etc. Mostly the things you don't want to see or get confronted with. So you are not alone with these feelings!! And even to get rid of all stuff is something I experience sometimes, too.
And I think you already took the first step to get out of these feelings or mess you are in. You wrote it down and that's quite a good thing to do! (Telling from my own experience).
My advice would be "Do nothing" - at least that is what helps me. I also have a living situation which sometimes makes me a little crazy. But with this doing nothing I got calmer.
But it seems to me that you have a lot around you that coasts energy. I really would like to have one ore more pets. But I always decide against it because it would burden me too much.
If I may ask: How old are your children?
No need to get totally desperate! You will certainly find solutions for everything . . . . step by step, i.e. reducing some stuff you dont need or want!
My best wishes for you! And I repeat it again: You are not alone with all this!

 

[Wandering Star]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

It is a very common occurrence.

A person comes to this forum and things start to happen.

You may or may not be under attack, but I am going to tell you what helps me.

You do not like this and that in your life to a desperate point.

Well, now try to think as clearly as possible what the alternative to your life would be, what it would be like if you had not chosen what you chose.

Now look at yourself in that situation where you have freed yourself from what you do not like.

Look at yourself carefully.

Now, is that wonderful situation helpful to anyone, even if it is just one person other than yourself?

You are very intelligent and I do not think it is necessary for me to say anything more.

Just one piece of advice.

When a person is under attack, going out for a walk helps a lot.

Cheer up, you are not alone, much less in what is happening to you.

 

[987baz]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

When we come face to face with what has been called the terror of the situation, it can seem overwhelming, everything you thought was true has now to be questioned, including ourselves.

We can’t change what choices we have already made, but we can decide to choose what we want to do now. Know that you are not alone, that most of us here have been through something similar, know that it will pass, it’s like the in the matrix when neo wakes up in the real world .. it’s quite discombobulating..

find what works for you, for me it’s Laura’s meditations, pipe breathing, prayer, with some exercise, be it a walk or qigong or yoga if that’s your thing. I would also encourage you to keep networking about it, and if you can be of service to someone else, helping others when we are in a state of discomfort can help, it takes the emphasis off you and your inner landscape, even small things.

Lastly, be compassionate to yourself, we are here in this 3d muck to learn and grow, we are human, we make mistakes and we hurt sometimes, that’s ok, we don’t have to be perfect, we just need to keep moving forward and learn the lessons that the universe is sending us.

 

[Odin]

When we come face to face with what has been called the terror of the situation, it can seem overwhelming, everything you thought was true has now to be questioned, including ourselves.

We can’t change what choices we have already made, but we can decide to choose what we want to do now. Know that you are not alone, that most of us here have been through something similar, know that it will pass, it’s like the in the matrix when neo wakes up in the real world .. it’s quite discombobulating..

find what works for you, for me it’s Laura’s meditations, pipe breathing, prayer, with some exercise, be it a walk or qigong or yoga if that’s your thing. I would also encourage you to keep networking about it, and if you can be of service to someone else, helping others when we are in a state of discomfort can help, it takes the emphasis off you and your inner landscape, even small things.

Lastly, be compassionate to yourself, we are here in this 3d muck to learn and grow, we are human, we make mistakes and we hurt sometimes, that’s ok, we don’t have to be perfect, we just need to keep moving forward and learn the lessons that the universe is sending us.

I know what you are going through is not easy @dani but this is the way of our reality. I think the advice from 987baz is very good once you get over that first phase of almost being paralyzed.

The last time I was in a similar frame of mind as you are describing, I just listened to "Amazing Grace" on repeat until I could start taking other steps. If not that song, maybe something else that you can think of that can lift your spirit.

As others here have said. Please remember, that no matter how dark it seems, you are not alone and that it will pass as "suddenly" as it came.

Please keep sharing and take care of yourself.