How are you feeling?

[Artisan Well]

I have been dealing with a strange sensation, and I use the word precisely because it does not feel like an emotion, that I perceive to be just outside my physical body a few inches (though it does penetrate the body somewhat) in the solar plexus (or lower at the umbilicus area). It is not necessarily unpleasant. It is intermittent and seems unrelated to any thoughts or events, other than sometimes just as I am falling asleep (but not only). The closest thing I could describe it to is a falling sensation. As I think about it, I wonder if this is what anxiety feels like?

The first time I noticed this sensation was when my mother was dying in Summer 2019 and I was with her in the hospice facility. At that time I wondered if it was a spirit attachment, or maybe something related to the umbilicus due to losing my mother.

I practice yoga and this seems to alleviate the sensation temporarily. Also, I've started practicing EE with this in mind as one of the things I would like to clear. The day after my first full practice on Zoom with the group, it came back after a long period of not experiencing it very often.

My intention is to feel it, breathe into it and let it move through and out. I also ask what I can learn from it. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't a positive thing, like an opening or expansion.

I am 58 years old and I have done quite a bit of work on myself throughout the years, processing emotions, removing triggers etc. I would say I am in excellent physical health and my life is going very well.

The sensation feels like a field of energy, maybe current or electrified or just excited, activated. It is annoying, but not uncomfortable or painful or particularly icky. I am starting a notebook to record when I feel it, time of day, activities & thoughts, and recent food or beverage in-take.

 

[Ricardo]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

(FWIIW ) Prayer helps , try finding something you are ,have been , and will be grateful for , else , qui gong , or simple contemplative exercises , (ie sage pose), or all at the same time :P , sts is always looking for prey in this environment , easiest trap for humans is emotional ones , hope this helps.

 

[Chetofloj]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

I don't have children and if I did maybe I would think the same sometimes because having children means having a lot of patience and responsibility but in reality since I never had children I don't know what it's like.
If you have such overwhelming thoughts, I don't know what it's like to be under your skin. I don't know if it's any use to give you encouragement since what you describe is painful and I hope you find the pain reliever you need.
It's a shame that many of us are in situations like this... I think we all suffer to a lesser or greater extent.
I ask you a question: do you do what you like?
What would you like to do? , how to find a lover, go travel, etc.
If you organize yourself you can do it, it's just a matter of time.
There is nothing wrong with doing what we like as long as you organize yourself, for example if you leave your children you must be responsible and leave them with responsibility... I think it's all a matter of organizing yourself and doing what you like as long as there is a point of balance.

 

[naorma]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

I can understand your feelings!!!! A lot of us - at least around me - had or have some nasty times - old things coming up etc. Mostly the things you don't want to see or get confronted with. So you are not alone with these feelings!! And even to get rid of all stuff is something I experience sometimes, too.
And I think you already took the first step to get out of these feelings or mess you are in. You wrote it down and that's quite a good thing to do! (Telling from my own experience).
My advice would be "Do nothing" - at least that is what helps me. I also have a living situation which sometimes makes me a little crazy. But with this doing nothing I got calmer.
But it seems to me that you have a lot around you that coasts energy. I really would like to have one ore more pets. But I always decide against it because it would burden me too much.
If I may ask: How old are your children?
No need to get totally desperate! You will certainly find solutions for everything . . . . step by step, i.e. reducing some stuff you dont need or want!
My best wishes for you! And I repeat it again: You are not alone with all this!

 

[Wandering Star]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

It is a very common occurrence.

A person comes to this forum and things start to happen.

You may or may not be under attack, but I am going to tell you what helps me.

You do not like this and that in your life to a desperate point.

Well, now try to think as clearly as possible what the alternative to your life would be, what it would be like if you had not chosen what you chose.

Now look at yourself in that situation where you have freed yourself from what you do not like.

Look at yourself carefully.

Now, is that wonderful situation helpful to anyone, even if it is just one person other than yourself?

You are very intelligent and I do not think it is necessary for me to say anything more.

Just one piece of advice.

When a person is under attack, going out for a walk helps a lot.

Cheer up, you are not alone, much less in what is happening to you.

 

[987baz]

For the past few weeks, I have been having overwhelming feelings of despair and disgust. I am disgusted with our world, and, ironically, myself. All the things I have done in my life are coming up. All the negative. Despite being an empath, I have done some things that now disgust me. I see my disgust with myself, as the disgust with the world, and that it was ME that created it. I feel as if I am responsible for the state of earth. I do not have the will to do the most basic things. I no longer want to be part of the light. I dont want to be part of the dark. I just want to disappear. I am trying to get my life in order...selling my house after I clean it out. Getting rid of everything I have collected in this lifetime. I am very angry with myself for having 3 children and 5 pets. I no longer want to take care of them. I don't want to help my ailing elderly parents, or talk with my sister. I don't want to practice medicine and healing, not even the functional approach I have learned, nor homeopathy. All this has just come up in the last 3 weeks. It is a very dark place and I don't know if I can come out of it... I am not sure I want to anymore. I feel as if I died a few weeks ago, and I am just here cleaning up my mess and getting things in order. And all this came up out of the blue. I am not sure if this is an attack from 4D STS or if I am just getting my soul smashed, but either way, I find it impossible to muster the strength to care.

When we come face to face with what has been called the terror of the situation, it can seem overwhelming, everything you thought was true has now to be questioned, including ourselves.

We can’t change what choices we have already made, but we can decide to choose what we want to do now. Know that you are not alone, that most of us here have been through something similar, know that it will pass, it’s like the in the matrix when neo wakes up in the real world .. it’s quite discombobulating..

find what works for you, for me it’s Laura’s meditations, pipe breathing, prayer, with some exercise, be it a walk or qigong or yoga if that’s your thing. I would also encourage you to keep networking about it, and if you can be of service to someone else, helping others when we are in a state of discomfort can help, it takes the emphasis off you and your inner landscape, even small things.

Lastly, be compassionate to yourself, we are here in this 3d muck to learn and grow, we are human, we make mistakes and we hurt sometimes, that’s ok, we don’t have to be perfect, we just need to keep moving forward and learn the lessons that the universe is sending us.

 

[Odin]

When we come face to face with what has been called the terror of the situation, it can seem overwhelming, everything you thought was true has now to be questioned, including ourselves.

We can’t change what choices we have already made, but we can decide to choose what we want to do now. Know that you are not alone, that most of us here have been through something similar, know that it will pass, it’s like the in the matrix when neo wakes up in the real world .. it’s quite discombobulating..

find what works for you, for me it’s Laura’s meditations, pipe breathing, prayer, with some exercise, be it a walk or qigong or yoga if that’s your thing. I would also encourage you to keep networking about it, and if you can be of service to someone else, helping others when we are in a state of discomfort can help, it takes the emphasis off you and your inner landscape, even small things.

Lastly, be compassionate to yourself, we are here in this 3d muck to learn and grow, we are human, we make mistakes and we hurt sometimes, that’s ok, we don’t have to be perfect, we just need to keep moving forward and learn the lessons that the universe is sending us.

I know what you are going through is not easy @dani but this is the way of our reality. I think the advice from 987baz is very good once you get over that first phase of almost being paralyzed.

The last time I was in a similar frame of mind as you are describing, I just listened to "Amazing Grace" on repeat until I could start taking other steps. If not that song, maybe something else that you can think of that can lift your spirit.

As others here have said. Please remember, that no matter how dark it seems, you are not alone and that it will pass as "suddenly" as it came.

Please keep sharing and take care of yourself.

 

[gottathink]

After reading Healing Developmental Trauma and thinking about ways to soothe my neurophysiology, i.e. self-soothe, I realised that the knowledge of being connected to the FOTCM was soothing and calming when I need to settle myself down. So in the context of HDT, this is a mental resource, just the image or thought of being part of this forum can serve the purpose of self-soothing.

 

[Chetofloj]

Here on the forum I read in a post that Laura would be strengthened because there are things that have been designed for her to fail and abandon her mission, something like the unpleasant things that have happened to her have been planned from an early age in order to to abandon all his efforts.
Now this also applies to everyone.
Knowing that strengthens me because it gives me more reasons to act in favor of my own destiny.
Just look at the scenario:
Illuminatis, beings of all types and forms, kidnapping programming.
We can stand against that and move forward, we can overcome that. I believe we can, and if someone abandons the fight, it will not be in vain. We will become stronger and stronger. My statement is that I carry an entire army with me. 6D beings encourage me and for all those who already They are not there and they tried to encourage me to continue so behind my back with me I have an entire army to create or destroy the entire universe if necessary, so why give up? Never surrender.

 

[happyliza]

Simple, but not easy. I read Women Who Run With the Wolves, as the C's recommended, and Pinkola-Estes is a great writer about vitality, creativity, and the soul. In the snip below she's talking about stopped-up creativity in women, but I see no reason why this wouldn't apply to men as well.




So it's similar to G's description of the distracted man in the last chapter of Beeelzebub's Tales and points to a huge issue in the Work - life is only real when 'I am', and the many 'i's' that get in the way, until we learn to kick the bums out and take up full residence in our house of Being. Or at least organize things and put them to work, or whatever metaphor fits. At any rate, Estes has a similar focus to G in that she writes about the necessity of developing one's power of attention, so as to not get distracted from whatever song the soul is singing. And our vital force seems to depend on this. It can be difficult in our modern techie day and age, but that's the friction that can keep the creative fire going - to maintain our attention and commitment despite a hundred different distractions buzzing around like defacating Harpies!

Thank you iamthatis, your post really struck a chord within me. Especially as is it currently critical for me to wisely choose the best use of my time, lower energy threshold permitting.

To cut a very long and convuluted story short: Our solicitor here died in July 2021. IN 2004 he set up a legally required trust for everything I and my mum (and on behalf of our family) have here. Including my home of 21 years.
His second son took over his father's responsibilities in the legal business and was instrumental in the converyancing on the sale of mum's land last year. During which despite my continued protests embezzled nearly 25% of the sales funds including tax payments, refusing to forward the proceeds, or give us power of attorney to initate an audit trail for yet another court case.
Meantime, this year he failed to inform us, until my new solicitor demanded this POA, that his elder brother had instigated a court case against him for embezzling the family's inheritance (I was correct in thinking he had a gambling addiction).
Also in this court case his brother is claiming that his father's trust to us belongs to his father's estate, and none of our assets are ours! My spirit family keep me informed as there is no other way to get facts and they state greedy powerful people behind this to make profit and other trusts he has done will go through same. Plus they have forged documents and taken documents needed fro our files in the legal office. Plus we have a hard fight on our hands to even win this due to yet another corrupt system and justice system!
So I am literally fighting to keep my home and my animals or be on the street as no plan B due to squatters in mum's flat here!
Plus to qualify for residency here annually you need to have a property worth more than the flat! Or you get deported (Very convenient).
So despite the heat here being unbearable, I realized how lucky I was to have shrewly bought an air conditioner from my dwindling funds! It is like a Godsend to me allowing me to be able to concentrate and focus daily on the next vital court preparations I need to do. I liken my lounge to Plato's cave as dark inside as only one window. But I imagine it to be my protective sanctuary (whilst I can still live here), as I battle to save everything me and my parents worked for, plus my project here.
There are days when my mind or body or both refuse to function. Or I choose to take a break, in which case I daily visit the forum, thus my many recent interactions, plus keep up to date on world affairs. As the other concerns are the immenent Israeli war close by, and my mother back in hospital in UK due to fluid on longs and tighteness on her heart.
Despite this I do my best to keep in balance and inner equilibrium as much as possible. Looking only at what is in front of me to do that day (if possible, as I need to try to love myself too to keep calm), and my animals help with this tremendously as I have other 'souls' to love and care for.
What I am particularly grateful for is your link to the I-Ching. Although I have a super book, I have had no chance to study it so for guidance and inner feedback I thought I would try your link for my first ever reading.
It seems to be truly accurate and epitomises what I am currently going though as well as what is intrinsically important to me! I was gobsmacked and very grateful. I share it below and recommend other's find as it feels like a 'treat' to know. Many thanks.

I CHING​

Qián The Creative​

I Ching Hexagram 1
Qián (The Creative)

Action: Initiate

Hu Gua (secondary influence) 1 Creative: Initiate

Zong Gua (underlying cause) 2 Receptive: Yield

Life shows its harmony, when you discover your connection to what unfolds.

A little kingdom I possess, where thoughts and feelings dwell;and very hard, the task I find of governing it well. – L.M. Alcott

Reading at a glance: The Creative embodies the active principle in the universe and represents initiating action. The lines in this hexagram refer to the Dragon which in China is honored as a benevolent and powerful creature. When this energy of empowerment remains dormant in the psyche we can give our power away. We can operate with the undermining or self gratifying and fearful behavior of the ego. This suppressed energy funds the Shadow in dreams, a great source of our original power. We therefore project and encounter it in others until we can own it and become fully empowered. An opportunity for expansion and authentic empowerment emerges which requires assertiveness and persistence. If you currently feel held back or victimized, remove the shackles because they are merely self limiting beliefs. Initiative is required to succeed, although it is important to move in sync with the time and respond with openness. The Creative is duplicated in the hidden influence position and underscores the idea of initiating where the Receptive as the underlying cause shows that a period of reflection and retreat must give way to active expression. A new burst of inspiration has gestated and you can now bring it life. There is great potential waiting for you to tap it.

Lifted up

by what is pressed down

the great untangles the night.

“The clouds pass and the rain does its work and all individual beings flow into their forms.” Qián is made up of all Yang lines showing potential and beginnings where action is necessary to manifest this energy. Qián coaches you to take responsibility to become empowered in a current situation. Although circumstances might appear to be working at cross purposes to what you are trying to achieve, change is on the horizon that will allow you to express your greater capabilities.

The master says: “you cannot plant a large tree within a small pot.” Plant yourself in an environment of expansion. Open yourself to wonder because what you experience is only limited by your beliefs. To be successful, you must ensure that any self doubt or insecurity is eliminated. Even if initial steps bring about a challenge open to how this hones your ability to succeed. Don’t give up.

Be firm in standing up for what you feel you should to do in a situation where you may feel powerless. Without the freedom to keep growing, your authenticity is stunted.

You can no longer claim to be a victim. Everything that is unfolding is propelling you toward growth and actualization. If you feel stuck, look for the closed doors that are leading you toward an open door.

Meeting the world of events, you may believe that you have nothing to do with what is unfolding. There is an inconsistency of belief, each time you take responsibility for your success, but blame events for your failure. To discover Tao's fundamental harmony you must first uncover your connection to what unfolds.

The width and depth of your beliefs mirror the growth of your branches above. When you take inventory of what you are currently doing in thought and action, you will discover the seeds of what you are making of tomorrow. The Creative offers a message of inspired rebirth and a chance to harness your further capabilities. Creativity, inspiration or a new idea is seeking manifestation so loosen the borders of your paradigm and free yourself.

Take a chance and have faith that everything is coaching your real nature forward. You have an opportunity to be more empowered by confronting your fear of change. Once you remove the barriers of fear, you will experience life in more powerful and fulfilling ways. The Creative is a sign that you are ready for greater challenges and can open you to the ultimate reward it will bring.

Qián means force and as the great Creative Power is the inspiration behind all form and requires some sort of application to give it life. Open to the inspiration that is seeking to manifest through you.

Unchanging:​

Dragon stirring unexpressed = action is needed to give it form. The Creative unchanging shows powerful feelings or inspiration not acted upon. It can be a warning that insecurity may be inhibiting your ability to see opportunity when it presents itself. It can symbolize focusing on the hope that something will transpire rather than taking the active steps to make it manifest. Some sort of action is necessary to bring this opportunity into form. Like a fruitful seed that has landed on a rock, you need only move it into the soil of purposeful action so that it can grow. Otherwise it will remain as the dream of a flower that dried up and blew away in the wind because you failed to nurture it. You may have heard the call to do something but your fear is holding you back. A creative or transformative opportunity is in gestation and requires time before the birth of inspiration reveals itself.

Line 1:​

Hidden Dragon = do not act. Changes to (44) Coming to Meet. The timing is inappropriate for action. Have patience so your plan can develop further, avoiding negative repercussions. You are in the early stages of realizing your goal. Be patient. Those depending on you may require reassurance but check that guilt is not holding you back from making a change. Don’t blame others as what you encounter may simply be your Shadow or the energy that you project on others so you don’t have to acknowledge your real face. You are eager because the temptation to act is stirring the great power within you.

Line 2:​

Dragon in the Field = get helpers. Changes to (13) Fellowship. Develop your talent and explore networking ideas. Establish a plan of action and incorporate the feedback and/or skills of others. Don’t be selective in choosing feedback because the more diverse the group, the better. Great potential is emerging but it is best realized when you are not going it alone. If you are diligent, your harvest will succeed.

Line 3:​

All day all night = powerful but does not threaten. Changes to (10) Treading. The power to succeed is rising although tread carefully, knowing that new ideas can bring about opposition. Gain consensus by showing that what you are attempting to do is of benefit to others. Ensure that you have the capacity to carry your plan forward. Don’t rush. Monitor your words and actions and behave moderately – the situation is delicate.

Line 4:​

Dragon leaping over pond = attempting to fly but safe. Changes to (9) Small Restraint .Your plan of action is ready for implementation and yet you may need to play it safe. Perhaps you must pay attention to the small details. While difficulty may have appeared at first, there is nothing to worry about so have confidence. Take it one step at a time. Big things are accomplished only by heaping up small things over time. Your power to succeed relies on gentle persuasion, not aggressiveness.

Line 5:​

Dragon flying in sky = realizing ambition. Changes to (14) Great Possessing. Due to connections and confidence, all lights are green and your success is assured. Be sure to reward those who assisted you in your success. This is a powerful line that is connected to a powerful hexagram. Timely action, confidence and virtue will pay off. You are in sync with your Tao and have the power to succeed. Whatever it is that you are creating for yourself can become the illumination for others. Stop thinking and fly. The energy is bigger than you and it is correct.

Line 6:​

Haughty Dragon = acts without support, cause to repent. Changes to (43) Determination. Success needs no aggression and pomp. Remove doubt and insecurity to ensure completion in your efforts. You may feel like you can go it alone or don’t need support, but that will lead to misfortune. Victory may appear easy and within reach, but therein is the danger. The sixth line indicates the end of the opportunity so this might be your last chance to check your attitude to ensure you are sincere and not acting defensively.

I would really be very grateful if expert readers of I Ching can comment on deeper meanings/warnings/things to work on, I need to be aware of, as I am a newby and only read it superfically.

Until this court case is competed, which can take months, or years here, I choose to remain reclusive, on task, except chopping wood and carrying water. xxxx

 

[seve]

C'est un endroit très sombre et je ne sais pas si je peux en sortir... Je ne suis plus sûr de vouloir le faire. J'ai l'impression d'être mort il y a quelques semaines et je suis juste là pour nettoyer mes dégâts et mettre les choses en ordre.

Death and rebirth. You're right at the heart of the alchemical "black work". Rest assured, you'll be reborn stronger, more lucid, with fewer illusions and a greater desire to keep moving forward. And above all, a word of advice: don't project your self-judgment onto your children, see in them the mirror of your most beautiful unconditional love. Your current rejection of everything seems to me to be very healthy, and will enable you to start afresh with a new value system.

 

[Ricardo]

Well , Lizza , the tao ,is, a school of hard knocks , ill keep you in my prayers ;)

 

[BHelmet]

Hey Dani, sounds like you need a break or a retreat. I can’t remember if you have a husband or local support system, but if you do, maybe get them lined up behind you and do something that feeds your soul. At times, even though it can sound like STS, it’s time for self-healing, resetting boundaries, and doing what YOU want, just for fun, a contemplative reflection away from your usual environs. Balance. And you can’t serve anyone in an STO manner if you’re burned out and have a lousy attitude. For me, that’s my dashboard idiot light.

 

[loreta]

Seems the emotional roller coaster has been going around .. the last few weeks I’ve been up and down like a yoyo .. the interesting thing is, there seems to be part of me which is feeling all the sadness and fear and another part, which is calmly watching and guiding, kind of like parenting. I think as things heat up and the wave picks up speed we can expect more of this?

That's exactly what I'm experiencing. A rollercoaster. One moment I'm scared and then the next I feel strong. What keeps me grounded is my dog, and sometimes the best part of my day is when I'm walking with him. Very early in the morning, when it's still dark, when there's silence and the streets are almost empty, just cats. Dogs teach us to enjoy everything, smells, movements, to be curious, surprised and so on. And what also helps me is to go out and see people, talk to them, listen to them and study them and say to myself “how are they feeling?” Talking to ladies who talk about how life has become so expensive, and so on…

Yesterday I was so tired I really thought I was ill. Of course, I've just had a terrible month with my lumbago, but it's gone now, even though I know it takes time for the body to become strong and full of energy again. I realised that I hadn't drunk any water during the day, so I was really dehydrated. So I drank some water and my tiredness went away. So, drinking water is essential, it's not the first time I've been ill or had no energy and it's because of a lack of water.

Walking with my dog, communicating with others, simply listening to them, reading good literature and also looking good Soviet series helps me to be present. The yo-yo is there and it's part of my days, though.

 

[Gwenllian]

Yeah, that is helpful for me too, but I have to be in the right mood for it otherwise I end up with sad songs and this isn´t really helpful

Ah, upbeat songs for dancing only!

In my head, I am calling this period of time the “test and release cycle.” It feels like the universe keeps rapid-launching challenges, both global and personal, to see what the reaction is. And as we respond to them, we have almost constant opportunities to knock loose whatever is stuck, to straighten whatever in us is bent out of shape, and to let go of what we hold onto so desperately.

My thoughts exactly! Thank you for putting them into words. I had/have a temper and I am learning to keep my emotions in check when people are trying to provoke me, while utilising my anger in a constructive way. It is a very good lesson as I'm certain the number of people who are losing it is growing exponentially.

I forgot to add a few things in my last post, but I have been doing quite a bit to support myself emotionally. I have been taking lithium orotate and Bach Rescue Remedy drops, plus I have a rest from time to time. Basically, I am giving myself some space, I focus on my projects and work and if I think I can't handle all those misguided 'anti-racists' in my professional network any longer I take a step back, otherwise I will go mad.

And besides meditations I also listen to one of Dick Sutphen's hypnosis recordings on how to deal with chaos which is really helpful. My two cents.