I am sorry. I have completely hijacked this thread. :O
I hope it isnt all for the worst though. I hope maybe there is something that not only I can learn but other people might get something positive from this...
Is it maybe that you assume to much about what STS and STO is ?, if you want to understand the difference between STS and STO you need to understand yourself, because if you observe yourself in daily life, you will see how you will react to certain situation, in some situations you give something without expecting anything in return, in other situation you only want to take.
I have tried to observe myself and I must say that somethings I do and I dont know why. Sometimes I give without expectation. Sometimes I do not. Sometimes I act because I want to get something out. Ok, correct that, most of the time. For example, why am I here right now. Why do I spend hours everyday trying to read the wave, other articles and the threads... It has become almost an obsession. Trying to get myself to a point where I THINK I am on track. I do these because I have been told there is a wave coming. Furthermore, I am inclined to believe this. I have been told with this wave comes a sort of graduation, a graduation out of this world(3D) and as with any other graduation you need to do stuff beforehand inorder to graduate. This is why I apply myself. Because I want to graduate. I am looking out for number 1. I am not appylying myself so that some person B graduates. Whether or not this person B graduates is up to them, not me.
When I give without expectation it just happens or sometimes that is the only way to experience something in its entirety, to experience something truthfully. To expect is to control is to limit. I love diversity, I hate control. Not to say I am not scared by diversity. Even in such a case, my lack of expectation has a hidden expectation to it, the expectation to not limit, to not control so as to experience truthfully, so as to just let something BE and choose for itself freely. Again, STS. I cant win, no matter where I turn, I cant win! This sucks!
Dont hate me, I am just being honest. I still have alot of work to do on myself. That is why I dont think I'll ever be ready to go! To little time to do so much! Only if I knew about this acouple of lifetimes ago I would have started work then and be ready in time. My personality is still fragmented and the predators mind is still alive and well and probably pulling all the strings up there in my mind. Just great.
Think about it this way, why do you want to see 4D so much? From your post I got the impression that you don't like 3D at all. Why is that?
Truthfully, Yes. 100% right. It is not that I do not like 3D. To the contrary, the planet is beautiful, the people are beautiful. Nature is beautiful. I admire all there is here in 3D. I just want to get out because I cannot engage with this beauty I see around me. All I can do is just look, watch stare and say, oh isnt that beautiful. I want to go somewhere where I can immerse myself in the beauty, where I can feel it! Since I cant do that here in 3D, I figure it has to be in 4D - there is a sense of 'meatyness' for a lack of a better word here that I find to be very limiting. I might be wrong but that is how I have it in my mind. Have you ever felt this feeling where you feel despite being here, you are actually abit alien, you cannot really connect? Well that is the feeling I have been carrying since I was born. I want to go somewhere where I can connect...
I guess this means I am never going to see 4D... Desperation speaks of despair. Atleast i'll get to see some 12 feet tall aliens and maybe some comets aswell, hell maybe even an ice age - will feel desparately cold but before I freeze up into a block of ice, atleast i'll think to myself, Wow. Better than the same old mundaneness.
Again I dont think this paints me in such a good picture.
This next one is going to paint me in an even worse light. Excuse the length of this post. I think I should reply fully to some of your comments Oxajil.
To give you my thoughts; I'm also curious to see 4D, but it is probably one of the last things that is on my mind. There is so much to do still to help others here in this 3D density. I have always had the spirit in me to help others, however, it was always hidden behind my false personalities. I was afraid mostly and doubted a lot. Maybe the same is with you. Maybe you are angry at this density, or sad, or traumatized and all you want to focus on is getting out of here. But try to do it different, try to figure out why exactly you want to go to 4D? And if it is really you having those thoughts, ..there could be hidden programs. Maybe you can even start a thread about it.
This is where I think me and you go in different routes. I do not go out of my way or dream about helping other people - if anything I despise those who have created this situation of where people need help, so I have no desire to help people but I have a desire to not let them win, those who want to challenge creation. Infact, one of my parents has worked for charities all my life and I have seen first hand that charities and this 'I WANT TO HELP' is a big lie! I have never seen a situation where someone has been helped and the emphasis has not been on the helper. It's always the same old, sadness, remorse, pity and stuff that drives people to want to help. Like you are feeling sorry for someone else. How nice! I suppose you feeling sorry for them is going to help them! This person has been reduced to the status of needing help and you have been increased to the status of saviour!
I personally would never ever in a trillion years, help someone because I am feeling sorry for them! I do feel this sadness, remorse and pity but I never let it cheat me into helping... Whatever is going to happen to this planet is going to happen. I do not think there is anything I can do to change anything... Other people can affect change. Just not me.
Try to figure out why exactly you want to go to 4D? And if it is really you having those thoughts, ..there could be hidden programs. Maybe you can even start a thread about it.
It might be somekind of hidden programs... what I dont get is what is so bad about having the desire to go? I wouldnt even call it a desire. I'll just say, if anyone could go and all that mattered was a yes or a no. Do you want to go? I would be like 'YES PLEASE at the earliest opportunity if you dont mind!' One thing I wouldnt do though, is go minus the awareness or the knowledge. I'd much rather stay behind and learn the lessons necessary inorder to go but as soon as they are learnt, it is BYE BYE 3D.
Again I am sorry if this paints me in a horrible light.