Psalehesost
The Living Force
luke wilson said:Again I am sorry if this paints me in a horrible light.
Why? (seriously, think of it)
If the picture painted is a true one, then you have succeeded in networking! First step forwards! Then useful feedback can follow.
luke wilson said:Dont hate me, I am just being honest.
No one here will. Apart, possibly, from yourself.
When exposing something that one perceives to be "bad" about oneself, or thinking that one has done so, there is usually some panic in the Predator's mind. This is part of its normal procedure. It fears. The rest of you doesn't. The rest of you has only to gain!
luke wilson said:I still have alot of work to do on myself. That is why I dont think I'll ever be ready to go! To little time to do so much! Only if I knew about this acouple of lifetimes ago I would have started work then and be ready in time. My personality is still fragmented and the predators mind is still alive and well and probably pulling all the strings up there in my mind. Just great.
Everything happens when it is time. You have now arrived at this point, meaning that the time for it is now.
The question is what to do Now. To begin with, what you have expressed above is a fine piece of programming to work on, I think.
Then, whatever happens - happens. So it goes.
Enjoy the ride. :)
luke wilson said:It is not that I do not like 3D. [...] I want to go somewhere where I can immerse myself in the beauty, where I can feel it! Since I cant do that here in 3D, I figure it has to be in 4D - there is a sense of 'meatyness' for a lack of a better word here that I find to be very limiting. I might be wrong but that is how I have it in my mind.
Have you ever felt this feeling where you feel despite being here, you are actually abit alien, you cannot really connect? Well that is the feeling I have been carrying since I was born. I want to go somewhere where I can connect...
The same goes for me. But such a thing won't happen for 'free'. This is the environment where you have to make it happen - that is the lesson, or one of them - a significant one.
It is not really, I have realized, about finding a 'place' without where you can connect - one must find it within.
"It is not where you are, but who you are and what you See."
luke wilson said:Infact, one of my parents has worked for charities all my life and I have seen first hand that charities and this 'I WANT TO HELP' is a big lie! I have never seen a situation where someone has been helped and the emphasis has not been on the helper. It's always the same old, sadness, remorse, pity and stuff that drives people to want to help. Like you are feeling sorry for someone else. How nice! I suppose you feeling sorry for them is going to help them! This person has been reduced to the status of needing help and you have been increased to the status of saviour!
There is plenty that is genuine in what you see about the usual attitude to "help", I think. If someone doesn't want to help him-or-herself, then indeed you cannot genuinely help - you can only take while feeling "good" about it. But there are those who could help themselves, and who are Open (sometimes implicitly, sometimes explicitly asking) to receiving something - this is where to look. With discernment, it is possible to help, though you may need, having seen through the usual ideas about "help", to form a clear idea of what genuine help is.
luke wilson said:I personally would never ever in a trillion years, help someone because I am feeling sorry for them! I do feel this sadness, remorse and pity but I never let it cheat me into helping...
If someone genuinely needs help, though, it is not necessary to let your attitude to such feelings stop you - you could try to be indifferent to them and see if there is a reason independent of them, one that is rooted in External Considering.
luke wilson said:Whatever is going to happen to this planet is going to happen. I do not think there is anything I can do to change anything... Other people can affect change. Just not me.
That remains to be seen.
fwiw