Mona
Jedi Master
RedFox said:Hi Mona
Your post seems quite emotional, can I ask, are you ok?
Mona said:As I was driving home today I was looking at the sky, and I started crying a little, telling the universe and mother nature in my thoughts how much love I feel for it. I LOVE this world, and I ache just thinking about how much it's suffering. The sky was extra beautiful today and the sun sooooooooo warm. I LOVE the SUN. I never worried about getting skin cancer, I always appreciated its warmth. I heard the birds chirping and they sounded better than ever. YOu know, when I take my last breath I will send all my loving thoughts to the universe and I will give thanks for allowing me to use this planet for the many lessons that I have had to learn, the many lessons that I did not pass and had to repeat them over and over again, because I was not a bright student after all. I realize that now, I was a difficult student on planet earth, and a stubborn one too. My soul will ache because this planet will be taken away from those souls who could not finish their lessons and will have to wait until this earth recovers. I will send my loving thoughts to all 1D and 2D and 3D creatures whose journey will have to be a little longer than expected.
fwiw I recognise this type of train of thoughts, because I have thought the same in the past....quite a lot actually.
What I realised was that these thoughts where (a good example) of emotional thinking. That is thinking as a way to avoid facing the underlying emotion.
Are you able to do some pipe breathing and re-read your post as if it where written by another person? Can you see where this person puts themself down? Where they state they won't make it? Where they say they are not a good student?
The future is open, and you cannot know for sure what it holds for you, and what you will and won't learn. Nor can you judge how good a student you are. Nor should you!
All the above thinking leads to a place of despair because 'you cannot see a way out'....the way out is hidden by your constricted thinking....that is, by thinking this way you have (metaphorically) closed your eyes to the full picture, and the options all around you are hidden because of it.
All you have to do is calm yourself down (do some pipe breathing!), take a mental step back (look at what you wrote as if another person wrote it), and understand that it is not an accurate/complete picture.
To then look at the emotions behind the thinking, see the Emotions and Self-Observation thread. Bud's post above is an excellent example of how to reach the same point.
I hope you are ok!
Thanks for asking Redfox, I am OK. I just had to write down my thoughts at that moment. I just felt sadness for everything and wished the reality was different. But I am OK. Yes I did feel a little despair but all is good now. Oh I just wish I could keep up my positive thinking, I always seem to stumble and fall on my knees. I do the EE breathing, actually every other day, and the dream that I had about myself being pregnant was actually that evening when I was doing the breathing. Maybe some emotional baggage is being released from within. I am sorry I was so out of control, I do seem to judge myself a lot. I will keep on doing the breathing and if I find myself feeling emotional I hope I can come here to get it out, it really helps. I will mention after my outbursts to just ignore me, I don't want to overwhelm anyone, I just have the need to get my emotions out somehow and then afterwards I feel better. I just don't have anyone else to talk to about this and I really don't want to take any drugs for depression. I have always felt that it is more important to naturally express the emotions rather than supress them with drugs. I cannot wait for this dark feeling that I have been having to be over. I just hope the day will come when I will wake up and all will be well. It's been a rollercoaster, that's for sure.
Hithere, it is really encouraging that the earth will not go as cold as expected. I will read more about what the prophet has to say about our future. The CC's have been more positive in theri last session.
Thanks for your encouraging words.