As explained by University of California psychology professor Robert Emmons, one of the leading scientific experts on gratitude and author of several books on the topic, gratitude involves two key components:1
It's "an affirmation of goodness;" when you feel gratitude, you affirm that you live in a benevolent world
It's a recognition that the source of this goodness comes from outside of yourself; that other people (or higher powers, if you prefer) have
provided you with "gifts" that improve your life in some way
One way to flex your gratitude muscle when life events leave you uninspired is to
identify and express gratitude for seemingly “useless” or insignificant things. It could be a certain smell in the air, the color of a flower, your child’s freckles or the curvature of a stone. Over time, you’ll find that doing this will really hone your ability to identify “good” things in your life. In fact, you may eventually find that “bliss” is closer than you imagined.
Aside from making you feel better about your life, feeling and expressing gratitude has been found to have a wide range of beneficial health effects, including:
Stimulating your hypothalamus
(an area of your brain involved in the regulation of stress) and your ventral tegmental area (part of your brain's "reward circuitry," an area that produces pleasurable feelings)11
Improving your sleep12
(especially if your mind has a tendency to go into overdrive with negative thoughts and worries at bedtime)
Raising the likelihood you'll engage in healthy activities such as exercise
Raising your relationship satisfaction
Raising your work performance (in one study, managers who expressed gratitude saw a 50 percent increase in the employees' performance)
Reducing your stress
Enhancing your sense of general well-being
Improving your heart health,
15 reducing the likelihood of sudden death in patients with congestive heart failure and coronary artery disease
Producing measurable effects on a number of systems in your body, including the neurotransmitters serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine (involved in mood regulation), inflammatory cytokines, reproductive hormones, the stress hormone cortisol, the social bonding hormone oxytoxin, blood pressure, cardiac and EEG rhythms, and blood sugar levels
10 Practical Strategies to Build and Strengthen Gratitude
Like a muscle, your sense of gratitude can be built and strengthened with practice. Here are 10 gratitude practices you can experiment with:
Keep a daily gratitude journal
This can be done in a paper journal, or you can download a Gratitude Journal app from iTunes.16 In one study, people who kept a gratitude journal reported exercising more, and had fewer visits to the doctor compared to those who focused on sources of aggravation.17,18
Write thank you notes or a thank you letter19
Whether in response to a gift or kind act, or simply as a show of gratitude for someone being in your life, getting into the habit of writing thank you letters or notes can help you express gratitude in addition to simply feeling it inside.
Nonverbal actions
This includes smiles and hugs, both of which can express a wide array of messages, from encouragement and excitement to empathy and support
Be sincere, and choose your words wisely
While it's easy to say words like "please" and "thank you" in passing, these courtesies can become potent acknowledgments of gratitude when combined with eye contact and sincerity. In other words, say it like you mean it.
Research20 also shows that using "other-praising" phrases are far more effective than "self-beneficial" phrases. For example, praising a partner saying, "thank you for going out of your way to do this," is better than a compliment framed in terms of how you benefited, such as "it makes me happy when you do that." The former resulted in the partner feeling happier and more loving toward the person giving the praise.
Focus on the benevolence of other people instead of being so self-centered
Doing so will increase your sense of being supported by life and decrease unnecessary anxieties. Cherishing the kindness of others also means you're less likely to take them for granted.21
Avoid comparing yourself to people you perceive to have more advantages
Doing so will only erode your sense of security. As Emmons notes in his book, "The Little Book of Gratitude,"22 "Wanting more is related to increased anxiety and unhappiness. A healthier comparison is to contemplate what life would be like without a pleasure that you now enjoy … Gratitude buffers you from emotions that drive anxiety. You cannot be grateful and envious, or grateful while harboring regrets."
Prayer and/or mindfulness meditation
Expressing thanks during prayer or meditation is another way to cultivate gratitude. Practicing "mindfulness" means that you're actively paying attention to the moment you're in right now. A mantra is sometimes used to help maintain focus, but you can also focus on something that you're grateful for, such as a pleasant smell, a cool breeze or a lovely memory.
Create a nightly gratitude ritual
This suggestion was given by Dr. Alison Chen in a Huffington Post article.23 "My colleague has a bedtime routine with her [3-year-old] and it includes recognizing what you are grateful for. When this part of the night comes, you can't shut him up," Chen writes.
"There are so many things that we take for granted and when you listen to the long list that a child can come up with you realize the possibilities for gratefulness are limitless! Take a couple of minutes each day to stop and reflect; taking regular pause is an excellent way to bring about more feelings of gratefulness in your life."
One suggestion is to create a gratitude jar,24 into which the entire family can add notes of gratitude on a daily basis. Any jar or container will do. Simply write a quick note on a small slip of paper and put it into the jar. Some make an annual (or bi-annual or even monthly) event out of going through the whole jar, reading each slip out loud.
Spend money on activities instead of things
According to recent research,25 spending money on experiences not only generates more feelings of gratitude than material consumption, it also motivates greater generosity. As noted by co-author Amit Kumar, postdoctoral research fellow at the University of Chicago, "People feel fortunate, and because it's a diffuse, untargeted type of gratitude, they're motivated to give back to people in general."26
Interestingly, generosity has also been linked to happiness, which may seem counterintuitive since giving to others means sacrificing some of your own physical or emotional resources. This experience has now been validated by science showing that generosity and happiness are actually wired together in your brain. 27
Tap forth gratitude
The Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a helpful tool. EFT is a form of psychological acupressure based on the energy meridians used in acupuncture that can quickly restore inner balance and healing, and helps rid your mind of negative thoughts and emotions. In the video below, EFT practitioner Julie Schiffman demonstrates how to tap for gratitude.
