Internal Racism


Dagobah Resident
luke wilson said:
Muxel said:
It's not [----] if the Harlem native only sees Maya through his/her lens.

Think about the above statement.

The Harlemite is just like the racist in that he/she is acting from ingrained prejudice. But is Maya partly to blame for her ignorance of what she was up against? "Ignorance is not a capital crime..." Fine. The Brownian motion of humanity pits all sorts of people against each other, generating endless permutations of human encounters, and since man is a machine we are assured of plenty more youtube videos...

I thought Maya's video was good, really. I watch all sorts of stuff on the Internet and have my own private opinion on everything, that's all. (I have never wished anything out of existence. What will I watch then?)

Yeah Touré, from the first post. Great vid and he certainly gave us the keys, didn't he?

I got halfway through Dr. Marimba Ani's interview.

This comment from reddit is exactly my view on the matter:
Luminescence9 said:
Being racist is wrong. However, it's even more wrong to be racially blind.

Race is culture. Culture matters. People matter.


Dagobah Resident
Interesting observation about me sounding bullied. I didn't feel bullied but maybe my words conveyed something different (I felt scared and like I was in an aggressive arena whilst engaging with H at that point in time not to mention a huge feeling of self-doubt about what I just said to cause him to react the way he did). See, I have this problem where sometimes someone can say something and you interpret it how the person didn't expect you to, then when you point this out or say something based on how you took their words, they lay the blame on you. To me it can just mean the reading instrument needs more work. I usually take words to be more than words especially here in the forum, they carry force and flavor behind them and sometimes the force and flavor are different from what the words are trying to convey. When you are receiving mixed signals, it just confuses you and you don't know what is what.
Hello there luke wilson. I also didn't think that you sounded bullied which just goes to show how tricky it is to convey meaning as you have it in your mind through this medium, especially when you haven't met those you are engaged with. Even a brief in-person meeting once or twice can change the ideas about another when relying mostly on their written word.
If i had an idea that i could come across in that way i would've immediately sought to rectify that view. What you've said about misinterpretation of what someone has said, pointing it out & receiving blame is very true. I agree with every word & can't put it any better myself. I don't believe that we're opposites, we seem rather similar in this respect but "wires" regularly get crossed in person, so here isn't a surprise.

Yes it was quite an ordeal wasn't it? But it may have been "a classic" from the universe as part of a learning curve for me at least. I certainly feel i have a better understanding of you & the episode rams home for me my difficulties with my thoughts. They come in "packs" that when opened reveal variations of a single thought. This translates as 1 thought having many differences ranging from subtle differences to large striking ones. The problem is usually picking the right one for the occasion at hand, this is always a case of "touch 'n go" that normally results in me "freestyling" or going "on/with the spur-of-the-moment," as is this post for example.
I have around 7 or so versions of it by itself, others based on possible responses too! Some are written down others not, i just have to do better with them when relying solely on the written word, though prising self-doubt away from the process is another thing..


Jedi Master
Greetings All..........This is a challenging topic for me on many levels and layers within those levels. Who do we learn from when we enter this world? Babies and children are more observant than we give them credit for. They are like sponges that suck up everything around them including sounds, tones, touches, etc. Children learn from those closest to them. Our Mothers for the most part are our teachers and then our families, churches and communities.

Living in an geographic location that has been colonized 8 times forced many different mindsets on the preceding culture/society which has created our current political circumstances. Imagine having 8 different fathers and having to change and adjust in order to survive in his household. The place that I occupy has been under colonial occupation since Christobal Colon encountered the indigenous people on the Isle of AyAy. My genetics are a mixture of Taino, Carib, African, German, Norwegian, and who knows who else. My skin tone reflects my Afro-Caribbean ancestry and that is what I am judged by under this euro-centric construct. My grandmother a very dark woman favored her lighter skinned grandchildren to those of us with darker complexions. She encouraged her children to marry upwards (whiter, lighter) Why would she do a thing like this?

I attribute this to self hate. The mindset was to have your children be a lighter shade hue, thinner noses, straighter hair so they would not have to go through the experiences of the darker ancestors. The dominating culture sets the rules of operation and creates many of the conditions that foster divisions of people based on color, caste, religion, occupation, etc.

How could my grandmother (born in 1913 in the Danish West Indies) who neither subject or citizen, but referred to as an inhabitant who had no say what so ever in the transfer of her homeland from one colonial master to another feel nothing but contempt for herself because of the color of her skin. Never mind that my grandmother became a teacher at the age of 15 and was the youngest person to pass the teacher's exam. The signals being sent to her was that she was too black to be anything but a domestic. She marveled her Grandmother's white skin, straight hair, pointed nose and European heritage. I say she marveled at her Grandmother, because my Granny was the opposite.

When she went to further her education in New York and in that society she was also prejudged based on the color of her skin. One of my elder Aunties when she moved to Baltimore, Md. was spit upon and forced off the sidewalk. At that time people of color were still being burned, lynched, etc. in the U.S. What would make people do such things and the society go along with it? Do you know how blacks were punished under the period of enslavement? If a person ran away or broke the rules of the society all the "slaves" (from children to elders, mothers, sons, daughters) were gathered, the offender strung up and whipped until near death more times than not by another enslaved person of color. Imagine watching this being done to your Father or Mother. Would that encourage you to flee or stay with the bounds set by said society? Do you know even if you were a "free black" you could be sold back into slavery? After emancipation, do you know who became the police force? It is these types of events that create many things along with self hate and loathing for generations.

Can I change my skin color? Well now I can with skin bleaching products. I can change the naturalness of my curly kinking hair by putting lyes and chemicals on my scalp. I can get some plastic surgery to change the shape of my broad nose and thick lips. Why would I feel so inadequate that I would do any of the above?

If a group of people have intentionally been emptied of who they were (forced to give up their names, language(s), spiritual beliefs, culture, mores. history, etc.) and instead were bred to be the servants and provide a passive labor force for generations into the future. In our case between the Colonizing powers and the pirates and buccaneers, our ancestors who were neither citizens or subjects of any nation were denied at least 8 times their rights to self determination over need for economic sustainability.

Thankfully for me, my mother, my 1st teacher taught me what love is and how beautiful my brothers and I were and that we could become anyone we choose to be. We were taught the history of where our ancestors came from before colonialism and the effects of slavery and the triangular trade on the African continent as well as those in the diaspora. She continued her search for her origins by going back to the "Motherland". She taught us to think critically, logically and to always question authority.

So while I live in a confused, contradictory and assimilated society, my early exposures to a mindset that self esteem, self awareness, love of self through demonstration and the ability to read, write, comprehend and share concepts and ideas. The plantocracy of yesteryear is today's corporate, agri-banking-pharma-military-industrial complex, some of whose worth was built on the backs of free labor.

From my standpoint, learning about my history before the advent of the slave trade as a child allowed me to put myself in a different place than most of my schoolmates. I understood the various contributions that people of African descent made on a global scale. Our Mother who participated in many of the civil rights movements activities while in college on the mainland made sure we understood the type of world that we lived in hopes that we could survive this present onslaught of control mechanisms. Thank you for entertaining my thoughts.

Internal racism is cultivated to create low self esteem and slow the process of true self awareness.


FOTCM Member
This photo is the average of many female faces from different countries. It was shared in one of the paleo blogs from the Ancestral health Symposium.


I thought it was pretty cool ;)


The Living Force
FOTCM Member
This photo is the average of many female faces from different countries. It was shared in one of the paleo blogs from the Ancestral health Symposium.

I thought it was pretty cool ;)

It is cool Psyche--thank you. I was enjoying looking at the interesting differences and and the beautiful similarities of the faces when I had a deep, visceral, and unexpected feeling of
recognition of one of the faces--the French face. It was an odd and interesting sensation--something in the "bones" / DNA perhaps speaking up?

I agree with Lisa--it is time to stop identifying with the superficial differences in people: looks, gender, age, and notice people as Human first, while respecting and appreciating the
cultural and other differences as pleasant variations of our shared sameness.

Endymion said:
astrozombie said:
Raised a Catholic, I was conditioned to have homophobia.

As a young teen, I participated with a large group of "friends" that began a systematic campaign of harassing a gay male in our school.

I am devastated to say that he eventually committed suicide after a few year of this torment.

People, this type of guilt can become unbearable for those of us who have a soul, unlike OPs.

I still wonder what amazing things this young man could have contributed to the world.

I have since become an outspoken person on such bullying tactics but the damage for me has already been done.

Thank you, astrozombie, it can't have been easy to share this. We all have a 'past' and some skeletons in our closets - I know I do. I am gay, and when I read your post I felt a mixture of anger, sadness, shock and grief. It reminded me of my teenage years at an all-boys school, where I was perpetually in fear of this very thing happening to me. I sternly controlled any expression of effeminate body language - there may have been none, and looking back I don't think there was - or mention of boys I liked. I was terrified of giving myself away and that fear made me see things where really there was nothing to see.

All of this resulted in a very lonely time at school - there really was no friend to turn to. My best friend was straight and the one or two slight hints I dropped to him were met with rejection. There were other things going on at that time which I posted about here.

We live in a pathological world where everyone is pitted against everyone else by the psychopaths who rule. It's the old 'divide and conquer' schtick. 'Do unto others before they do unto you' seems to be their motto. As children and young people, we lack the necessary adult role models to guide us in the development of conscience. You could only have done what you did if your conscience was asleep.

I have to admit that my first reaction to your post was to think that you should be lambasted and ostracized - in a word punished, and severely so. But that was my emotional reaction driving my thinking into black and white. I think that your remorse and confession are really a positive step in the direction of atonement and growth. I agree with neema:

neema said:
And if you are truly feeling guilt, don't try to alleviate it. Let it light the fire within to help you help others. In my opinion if you can help one person through your actions then your actions can begin to atone for your mistakes.

I know it is rather difficult but you must also be a little more compassionate with yourself. Give yourself a break in understanding that you were raised by a very fear based ideology.

Just consider that the guilt and pain might be with you till the rest of your life, but IMO that can be a great thing. Use it to develop a healthy fear of what “your machine” is capable of.

If you can learn to use the guilt you feel as fuel for the fire of the Work, that is atonement.

You cannot change the past, but by healing the present and thus preparing for the future, it is said that we can change the past - perhaps only in how the past impacts our present - but isn't that something worth striving for? Utilising the long shadow of the past for a positive outcome?

Have you read The Wave Volume 8 - Debugging the Universe? Laura presents the idea that our negative programming is a 'bug' in the 'universal program' - like a bug in a computer program. Certain 'local consciousness units' are created which have the capacity to 'debug' themselves and thereby the universe. That means, they have the potential to clean themselves of these negative programs and thought loops, to awaken conscience, grow in knowledge, and thereby heal themselves and help to heal (debug) the universe. For it is a certainty that in our little corner of the universe, things ain't pretty. You have direct experience of that. When you hounded that boy, your conscience was set to 'off' and that made you a 'bug' in the 'universal program'. But now you have an opportunity of a completely different nature.

So, with all that said, please don't wallow in guilt. Use it for growth and 'debugging'. Try to avoid becoming self-important about your suffering.

astrozombie said:
I have since become an outspoken person on such bullying tactics [ . . . ]

To my mind, this is the beginning of atonement. It is atonement in the outer world. However I think that real atonement is as neema describes above - using your guilt as fire to fuel the Work. It's not easy, and it demands sacrifices of all sorts, but you're in the right place to Work, and you have the support of the forum.

Thank you for your understanding and compassion. I know that it must have been hard for you to not comment on the "poor me" tone of my post. Not once did I mention the loss and pain that this boy's family and friends still feel and deal with today but my words came from a place that wanted to spare others this feeling. I did not intend for it to sound like a pity party.

I find it hard to say his name at times, it's as if I have lost that privilege. After getting to know his mother and two sisters very well, privilege is the correct term as I have come to see it. His name was Neil Shaw and because of the torment that I and others inflicted upon him daily, you do not recognize his name.

I am positive that had he lived, you most certainly would as he had a lot of greatness in him.

I'm not trying to over state my guilt but it really is with me always and I imagine that's how it should be because it is no small thing to deny someone their joy to live . It's been with me since that Monday morning at school when I first heard about it but I made things worse by pretending that I didn't care for the longest time.

When I first read the name of this thread, I saw Internal Prejudice and not Racism. That was just another way of my guilt manifesting in ways that I still haven't recognized.
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