Which brings us nicely full circle to where we started: "how to get a girl to like you". How about we all start this topic again!??
More seriously, see post below.
The solution is to show as much interest as you like, but do it in the "right way". It's not "do", or "do not do", it's do it in the right way, and whether or not a guy can do something "in the right way" is a function of his awareness and knowledge of self and others, the extent of which is usually determined by experience and how it interfaces with his nature and natural or acquired abilities.
Basically:
easygoing, naturally confident, funny guy shows interest in his way - bingo.
uptight, insecure, serious guy shows interest in his way - not bingo.
Not rocket science, although it seems like it when you really wanna play bingo but don't know the rules.
Exactly the bolded part. I would also say: Decide what specific kind of man you want to be and what specific kind of woman you want to attract. Focus on learning about those two types of characters and make efforts to become the former. Yes, there are some tips for across the board, like clean your room, take care of yourself, etc., but your overarching attitude regarding the whole quest will prove what you are actually after and will determine what you get. So be careful! Do you
just want as many girls as possible thinking you're attractive at first blush? It's certainly possible to attain.
Society is backwards! Weak men abuse their daughters who go on to abuse their sons who become weak men and so on. And everybody keeps suffering more and more each generation. Devouring mothers have graduated from mentally/emotionally castrating their sons to literally cutting their balls off and putting them in dresses, and still the weak men in their lives do nothing to stop the cycle of abuse. It's almost like this is a human farm designed to generate suffering or something.
Yes indeed. I do believe that it is all set up to generate human suffering. I'm not sure in your particular case how much emphasis you put on devouring mothers and men not being able to control them, but I have heard this line before from men who use it as a blame game, or excuse, and a justification to a misdirected desire to dominate. In the guise of 'taking responsibility'. Now, I do know that the devouring mother thing is real. As is the tyrannical father. But, it is a small part of the problems society faces. I have known men who have suffered under abusive mothers, or single mothers, and not turned out to be girly men. I have also known men from unbroken households, with decent mothers and fathers, or decent mothers and narcissistic fathers, etc., who turn out particularly weak willed or, on the contrary, great men. From my observations throughout life, and I have have been paying attention as much as possible, that factor doesn't seem to be as important to manliness as it's made out to be. Societal programming, related and propagated amongst peers plays a pretty big part too. And, it seems to me, that personal inherent character has as much say in how susceptible a person is to that programming as parental care does.
Another observation, and woman wisdom from throughout the ages, is that, excepting the cases where there is
serious pathological mothering, men who blame or disrespect their mothers have something wrong with them. It's seen just as negatively as men who are overly Momma's boys.
I don't promote any pathophilosphy that I know of. Mostly I just try to get them to stop watching porn and hit the gym.
Well, I commend you for that. Those are definitely good things!
There's no need to caricature the misery of a man who was raised by a devouring mother.
There is no need to project it either.
And the amazing outcome is that they can feel comfortable in their own skin and start seeing women as human beings with whom they can relate, instead of seeing them as imaginary extremes of either untouchable goddesses or vile whores. That's a scary thing for a woman to experience from a man, I know. And I feel for you and understand your fear of seeing that in men. Let me assure you that men don't like being stuck in that place either, and most of them are decent and desperately want a way out of that mental prison.
It is definitely a good thing, in my opinion, to learn to see women as people who you can relate to. The whole virgin/whore dichotomy within the male psyche is as old as time. It is the mark of an immature man who has not yet resolved his mommy issues. Growing up and getting over mommy issues is a good thing. How you do it is important too, because it determines what kind of man you will be and what kind of woman will love you.
There is no blanket answer for everyone, but it's the one thing that was holding me back for most of my life and so I am duty bound to help others who are still stuck where I was. And I think maybe I caused some confusion by giving the impression that I'm equating male strength to physical strength. That's not what I mean. My wife's father had great physical strength. He was a 380lb Russian bear of a man. Not through any effort or will of his own. He was just born that way. And that big strong man had no organic will. He couldn't do anything his body didn't want to do, like keep a job and provide for his family. He couldn't stop himself from doing anything his body wanted to do, like drink all the time and take out his frustration over his own spinelessness on his children. He was a very weak willed man and his weakness created a lot of suffering for my wife.
That's a terrible story and I'm glad you have found each other if you treat each other right.
