Lost Love

[genero81]

It's really hard when someone doesn't feel the same and our mind will find bunch of reasons to trick us that's she actually want us but she just need little persuasion but if that's the case do you really need someone who is unsure of their feelings and desires. But going with what "heart desires" and especially this "gut feeling that you're soulmates" can bring us more suffering

I went through something similar about ten years ago but somewhat different in that it was more obvious the 'love bite' wasn't real. But I also couldn't get away from her as we attended the same meetings.

First order of business is to separate the real from the unreal. If you can do that, then what you have, painful as it is, is an opportunity like no other to do some Work. You can begin to see how strong feelings coopt your thinking as it's happening. At least, that's how it worked for me.

You started this thread because you're in pain and you want relief. Unfortunately, it takes time. Much longer than I would have liked, but I realized I could make good use of the pain. So, I know it's possible.

The 'love bite' will pass. The pain of your reckless actions throughout this ordeal will be with you much longer.

Something to keep in mind.

 

[Anamarija]

I went through something similar about ten years ago but somewhat different in that it was more obvious the 'love bite' wasn't real. But I also couldn't get away from her as we attended the same meetings.

I went through something similar many times and the last time I realize that best thing that you could give someone you love or think that you love is to let them go. Eventually, you come to conclusion that was a best thing that happened to you.

My experience showed me that love comes naturally and it could be something that we didn't know that we need, maybe even opposite that we desired and wanted.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

The key is to learn to live without possessing.

We are immersed in wishful thinking and until we manage to understand all that the ego encompasses in us and the way in which its tentacles entangle our existential realms, as to what we selfishly want for ourselves, we will live mechanically to satisfy our illusions and live in free fall on the precipice of self-pity and misery to which we are precipitated. But every precipice has a floor to touch, and it hurts. We all survive the fall, the details are how to continue to get up.

Within our illusions, we wish to be the illusion of our romances, friends, partners, etc. of others.

If you go back to your wife wouldn't you be trying again to carry an emptiness you didn't satisfy with the other girl? not occupying the lives of others by not knowing how to fill our emptiness is a job to do. Honestly, to me, it would be imprisoning your wife as well. It takes a lot of courage to know what you can give and what you can't and let the other person go for the sake of your own life, happiness and learning and be left with your own baggage of issues to resolve.

Just because you have not experienced it before, does not mean that all the divine properties you try to embellish them with, are the truth. On the contrary, you experience it so that you learn to really determine the inner reason for your obsession so that you can love without possessing and not see people as replaceable objects according to our whims.