Did you tell your wife as well?
Yes, i told her at the beginning of the affair with the other one that i see no future for us and that we should separate. Unfortunately she didn't want to admit it.
Strange, when she later said, she'd feel like a prostitute.
I think she just wanted me for herself. I suspect jealousy. Which she was. It was probably meant to be an indirect request that I break up immediately with my wife.
PTSD creates all kinds of problems later in life..
Not only did she have a bad childhood where she didn't experience love, but her mother was raped in front of her (as a child) by her father.
Sorry, I don't believe this.
I try to say what I think without hurting your feelings.
Please bear with me but on some patterns I might have a different outlook due to my job which is in psychiatry.
To me the lady clearly shows a pattern of behaviour which can be attributed to borderline personality disorder. I can't diagnose her but her behaviour is some indication.
I do think she had a bad dream where she loses me. I don't think she invented it.
So obviously you still slept with your wife. Why did you do this?
It wasn't intentional. At least not by me. She had "woken me up" in the middle of the night. We hadn't had sex in a long time before that.
That's why she got pregnant, because I wasn't fully awake.
That's horrible. Sounds like a big mess to me. I still want to meet the woman who's happy about an abortion.
It wasn't my wife who was happy about the abortion. It's was my affair. Because she thought that I definitely don't leave my wife when she's pregnant. She behaved normally on the phone with me...then cried at her girlfriend.
Borderline behaviour. She gives you all kinds of ambivalent and contradicting messages.
She was also acting weird. On the one hand she was happy to see me and after we had sex and lay in bed together she kinda got so depressed and felt like a concubine.
She also told her current boyfriend about me and that we work together.
Then of course he got jealous.
When she broke up with me, she told me in the same breath to break up with my Wife. Asked me to break up several days after she broke up.
She also wanted us to remain friends, but I refused.
...when she wanted to act out her sexual fantasies?
That's what she said after our argument.
Before that she only saw herself as a concubine.
I agree, no love but obsession and mind gaming.
Why obsession an mind gaming?
There are indeed signs of borderline in her behavior.
But I always thought borderline patients couldn't have lasting relationships. I don't know anything about self-harm or suicide either.
No unusual drug use either, although several of her ex-boyfriends were dealers.
She is traumatized because of her bad childhood without love and with her mother being raped.
But it's possible that she idealized me. She "raised" me from zero to a hundred. And then let me fall again.
And her ice-cold behavior after that, up to the moments when she always wanted to know if I was happy. What does that mean?
I noticed that she needs special attention from men. She is also one who reacts jealously when a woman gets more attention.
Also that she is guided by her fears.
She always portrays herself as a victim and believes that others are to blame.
She also thinks I'm to blame for our breakup. It's partly true, but there is no innocent party in a dispute.
I am attaching a letter from her that she gave me last April.
Unfortunately, this is in German, which you would have to translate via Google.
