Nienna Eluch said:
FireShadow,
Have you had a chance to look at the
revised Detox Diet? If you have the will to get healthier, this is an amazing way to do it. The reason you have problems with dairy and gluten is because they are addictive. Knowing that, and not liking being addicted to things, really helped me to stick to the diet and get off of these evil foods.
I'm hoping that you will do so, too. :)
I have been following the threads on this. And, I agree that not wanting to be addicted is motivation for eliminating these foods. It is one of the reasons I continue to try - that and wanting to have a clearer head and more energy.
My problem is a "deprivation program". Through psychotherapy (back in the 1990's), my mother telling me about my first year, along with some other relatives telling me things, I found the source of it.
Apparently, in my pre-verbal stage of life, I did not get enough to eat. My mother says the doctor told her to feed me a certain quantity, a certain number of times per day (she does not remember the specifics). She said she did that, but I would cry and cry. She said she would then leave the house for hours to let me cry alone as she could not stand the crying. She was only 17 years old, suffering from depression and was living with me and my father in New Mexico - far from her family in Texas (who would have been her support system). Finally her mother came for a visit and saw what was happening and told my mother "You gotta feed that baby more, no matter what the doctor said!". From all reports, I was very malnourished by this time. I have a photo of myself from that time and I can say that I look like I was starving - my eyes look "dead" as well.
In the 1990's, I quit drugs and alcohol for 5 years (did not go back to the drugs, but do drink on rare occasions now). That was
way easier than attempting to give up even one food item! Whenever I trigger this program, I end up binging and eating way too much.
Back in the 80's, I used to try dieting to lose weight (not many fad diets, mostly healthy eating plans), but with the "deprivation program" (unbeknownst to me at the time), I would binge and in the long run, kept gaining weight. I gave up dieting because it seemed more harmful to me than helpful. My weight has been pretty stable (with a few exceptions) since then.
I was just reading another thread about gluten and dairy and this quote had resonance for me:
Stranger said:
In my opinion, the consuming of milk and cereals is metaphoric for the breast milk and closeness to the mother most people don't get enough for developing properly. So, deported into the unconscious mind, this desire to get love and milk from the mother, begins to operate subliminal. This desire shows itself in the search for vicarious satisfactions. So we begin to drink milk and eat smooth puree with milk and cereals which both act the same as breast milk (it is docking on the opiate receptors). We try to get this feeling we had when being near to our mother/parents...
Perhaps not relevant for everyone, but it may have relevance for me. When I was in psychotherapy, I would sometimes activate that early part of me and milk was the only food I could swallow during those episodes...hmmm.
But it is all inter-related is it not? I mean, the book "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow" says that orgasm-based sex also triggers cravings and hunger for "fixes". The review of the book "The Fat Resistance Diet" talks of eliminating cravings with knowledge of lectins (I think)... Which is what got me thinking of this multi-faceted approach. One thing feeds another (addictions, programs, etc) and one thing helps another (detox, bonding-based sex, etc). This thread and the line of inquiry related to sex is what has actually helped me move (at least a little) past my initial resistance to changing my diet. Previously, I could not even get that far. Networking works! And non-linear thinking helps as well, I think. Things seem to be loosening up inside me.
By the way, I am also getting a lot more insight as I go through this process and follow the path. I finally ordered and received "The Wave - books 5, 6, & 7" and was reading book 5 last night. Just the introduction brought a lot of things together! Even though I have read "Adventures with the Cassiopaeans", the organization of the material in book 5 and perhaps the timing really brought some things together.
I had a flash of insight into how when I have been "getting myself in the mood" for intimacy, I have been "binding the strong man" and "raping the maiden of the well". I also realized that a part of me knew this all along, but I silenced that voice. I have done this part to myself. I think because I have not had the hunger, but Hubby has; I have tried to please him. But, engaging in the same dynamic when I was not in the "same place" as he, there was no longer an "exchange". I was just feeding his hunger and draining myself. When we were in the "same place", there was more of an exchange (STS though it may be) - we were both feeding. It became unbalanced when I lost my "hunger".
In spite of all this, I am rarely sick except for bouts of depression and low energy. I am hoping that by approaching this from several angles and chipping away a little here, a little there, I may finally succeed...one can always hope.
Edit: I want to add my thanks to everyone for all the support, tips, feedback, etc. As always, this network is a great gift.
Edit: typos
It is sometimes quite difficult to get oneself across just by writing online. You have done very well, IMO! I am guessing that not all of what you have been saying was read by the last few posters, but it got cleared up nevertheless. There was that separate thread on Cupids P Arrow that I missed.
It is funny to me too. At the same time, I have had two nights in a row with sexual dreams--strong ones, and I am now feeling that those dreams were "planted," as it were, by 4D STS to throw me off track for a bit. This happens every once in a while, and I am not sure why, except that it might be part of getting free of very strong programs!
:D
4 dreams about the same lady? What is the 'relationship' like with her? What do you do together? Is she your age or young? What age are you in the dreams? Does it feel like a different density (a 4D bleedthrough for instance or a concurrent lifetime?) Just curious! Take care.
