Session 10 October 2015

sitting

Dagobah Resident
MariuszJ said:
I strongly believe my feelings are related to changes in the environment and it is not only me who feels like that.

Hi MariuszJ,

No, I don't think you're the only one.

Some changes are subtle (or even strange), but important nonetheless. It's vital we be more aware & alive ... with greater sensitivity to the sensate aspects of life. The hidden messages often require deeper introspection. Stay with it.

Thank you for expressing your true feelings.

FWIW.
 

Approaching Infinity

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MariuszJ said:
No, you have misinterpreted my description of the situation. I feel rather like I were a scientist taking an experimental drug and then describing my feelings. Will you tell him to go to a specialist about that?

I strongly believe my feelings are related to changes in the environment and it is not only me who feels like that. I can see everyday people around me totally deprived of emotions. Only some young students laugh from time to time. Almost all people in our city feel like a war was about to break out. I see that from their faces. They express nothing and even if I talk to some of the cheerful ones, they can barely tell me a couple of words. This may be partly related to the low standard of living in Poland where I live. People are overworked and earn very little here. Graduates cannot get jobs for years. Our economic situation is on the verge of a total collapse, and there is more to that.

OK, so you're like a scientist observing and describing your strange lack of feelings (and the same in the people you observe around you). Doesn't what you observe concern or disturb you?
 

Siberia

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MariuszJ said:
Something very peculiar happened to me yesterday. I virtually lost interest in talking to anyone or having a friend. I have never felt like this for a couple of years now. I used to feel lonely but was cheerful. Now I feel nothing as if I could live on a desert island and it is not caused by the situation with my girlfriend. She is likely to come back to me. She keeps in touch with me. I just do not feel any joy about that or anything else. I feel as though I was becoming autistic. It is not depression. If you are depressed you feel sorrow since you need something and do not get it. I feel nothing and do not need anything.

Hi Mariusz,

Have you read Carlos Castaneda's books? I'm asking because it helps me greatly to re-read them in times when I feel like on the verge of falling into self-pity, apathy and stagnation. Here is one quote from Don Juan which came to mind after reading your post:

The spirit of a warrior is not geared to indulging and complaining, nor is it geared to winning or losing. The spirit of a warrior is geared only to struggle, and every struggle is a warrior’s last battle on earth. Thus the outcome matters very little to him. In his last battle on earth a warrior lets his spirit flow free and clear. And as he wages his battle, knowing that his intent is impeccable, a warrior laughs and laughs.

Hope it may encourage and cheer you up a bit.
 

Laura

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Siberia said:
MariuszJ said:
Something very peculiar happened to me yesterday. I virtually lost interest in talking to anyone or having a friend. I have never felt like this for a couple of years now. I used to feel lonely but was cheerful. Now I feel nothing as if I could live on a desert island and it is not caused by the situation with my girlfriend. She is likely to come back to me. She keeps in touch with me. I just do not feel any joy about that or anything else. I feel as though I was becoming autistic. It is not depression. If you are depressed you feel sorrow since you need something and do not get it. I feel nothing and do not need anything.

Hi Mariusz,

Have you read Carlos Castaneda's books? I'm asking because it helps me greatly to re-read them in times when I feel like on the verge of falling into self-pity, apathy and stagnation. Here is one quote from Don Juan which came to mind after reading your post:

The spirit of a warrior is not geared to indulging and complaining, nor is it geared to winning or losing. The spirit of a warrior is geared only to struggle, and every struggle is a warrior’s last battle on earth. Thus the outcome matters very little to him. In his last battle on earth a warrior lets his spirit flow free and clear. And as he wages his battle, knowing that his intent is impeccable, a warrior laughs and laughs.

Hope it may encourage and cheer you up a bit.

Thanks for quoting that! And yes, that is what we live by. I'm reminded of Black Elk's mantra: "Today is a good day to die." And, of course, Gurdjieff said we should live our lives as if we might die at any time, so make the most of every moment in service.
 

Psalehesost

The Living Force
MariuszJ said:
Something very peculiar happened to me yesterday. I virtually lost interest in talking to anyone or having a friend. I have never felt like this for a couple of years now. I used to feel lonely but was cheerful. Now I feel nothing as if I could live on a desert island and it is not caused by the situation with my girlfriend. She is likely to come back to me. She keeps in touch with me. I just do not feel any joy about that or anything else. I feel as though I was becoming autistic. It is not depression. If you are depressed you feel sorrow since you need something and do not get it. I feel nothing and do not need anything.

There are several kinds of depression, and a loss of feeling - emotional dissociation - is one of the main types. Maybe you've reached a point where an inner 'circuit breaker' has engaged, to prevent parts of your brain from burning out as a result of emotional issues that you're not managing to resolve? Given your past posts, where you've described feeling miserable in various ways, and even hinted at suicidal thoughts (and so received the advice to seek professional help), this would not be surprising if the pressure just keeps building (including on an unconscious level) without ever working past the issue.


As an aside, for other readers (I'm not in any way suggesting that you're on the autistic spectrum), regarding the part about feeling as if 'becoming autistic'. People on the autistic spectrum do not lack feelings, quite the opposite. As described in the Intense World Theory, the processing structures in the brain on the local level, made of gray cells, are somewhat more 'deep' and elaborate, and things are processed more intensely on the local level throughout the brain. At the same time, there is poorer interconnectivity between some brain areas, so that these intense impressions - from both inner and outer sources - cannot be fully integrated and responded to. This can then result in an enormous build-up of inner tension, both emotionally and physically, as well as developing some 'deep', rigid and limiting 'tracks' in the brain. (Though the large degree of overexcitability, along with neuroplasticity, can also potentially be used so as to improve the workings of the brain over time, through directed efforts in working on aspects of the self.)
 

Renaissance

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Psalehesost said:
MariuszJ said:
Something very peculiar happened to me yesterday. I virtually lost interest in talking to anyone or having a friend. I have never felt like this for a couple of years now. I used to feel lonely but was cheerful. Now I feel nothing as if I could live on a desert island and it is not caused by the situation with my girlfriend. She is likely to come back to me. She keeps in touch with me. I just do not feel any joy about that or anything else. I feel as though I was becoming autistic. It is not depression. If you are depressed you feel sorrow since you need something and do not get it. I feel nothing and do not need anything.

There are several kinds of depression, and a loss of feeling - emotional dissociation - is one of the main types. Maybe you've reached a point where an inner 'circuit breaker' has engaged, to prevent parts of your brain from burning out as a result of emotional issues that you're not managing to resolve? Given your past posts, where you've described feeling miserable in various ways, and even hinted at suicidal thoughts (and so received the advice to seek professional help), this would not be surprising if the pressure just keeps building (including on an unconscious level) without ever working past the issue.

There are a lot of misconceptions about depression and as well as experiencing little or no feeling, loosing interest in things that you usually enjoy is another sign. I agree with what others are saying Mariuszj, that this could be something to look into, and what you describe doesn't sound healthy. Denial can also play a part, so while you may feel inclined to think that people don't understanding what you are saying, it may also be that there are some unconscious mechanisms at work that usually aren't apparent when you're in the drivers seat, but are clearer to others on the outside.
 

goyacobol

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
MariuszJ said:
No, you have misinterpreted my description of the situation. I feel rather like I were a scientist taking an experimental drug and then describing my feelings. Will you tell him to go to a specialist about that?

I strongly believe my feelings are related to changes in the environment and it is not only me who feels like that. I can see everyday people around me totally deprived of emotions. Only some young students laugh from time to time. Almost all people in our city feel like a war was about to break out. I see that from their faces. They express nothing and even if I talk to some of the cheerful ones, they can barely tell me a couple of words. This may be partly related to the low standard of living in Poland where I live. People are overworked and earn very little here. Graduates cannot get jobs for years. Our economic situation is on the verge of a total collapse, and there is more to that.

MariuszJ,

Although the previous advise from others is certainly different than what I will offer, I think they are all worth considering.

I will just say I think the courage it takes to just keep sharing your thoughts of depression here. For you I think it is a battle worthy of a "warrior". After all, we are in what the Cs describe as a battle for the mind.

We all have to deal with this form of battle and it takes various forms and we often can't see the the players. I am not saying the following literally applies to you but I think it describes the essence of the battle:

Session 26 November 1994
Q: (T) Who talks to me when I am having conversations with myself in my head?
A: You.
Q: Am I talking to other beings?
A: Have.
Q: Do we all do this?
A: No.
Q: (T) Does Laura communicate like this.
A: Has.
Q: (T) Does Frank?
A: Ditto.
Q: (T) Should I continue communicating with whoever it is?
A: Up to you.
Q: (T) Are they connected to you?
A: No.
Q: (T) Do you know who I am talking about?
A: Yes.
Q: (T) Can you tell me who they are?
A: Lizards.
Q: (T) Why are they talking to me?
A: Trying to convert you. Remember, Terry, your chronic depression represents a "battle" zone.
Q: (T) I no longer am depressed and they are talking to me more. (J) They are trying to get you back
into it. (T) but they are not doing anything to convince me to be depressed.
A: Watch out!
Q: (T) Can I turn them off?
A: Yes.
Q: (T) Who is "Sing."
A: Leader of forces assigned to influence you.
Q: (T) Forces, as in many are assigned to me personally?
A: Yes.
Q: (T) How many are in this force?
A: Seven.
Q: (T) Do they do this because of the implants that are in me?
A: All part of process.
Q: (T) Do I have implants?
A: Yes.
Q: (T) These implants are what they use to control my emotions and amplify them so that they can
feed off of them?
A: Not control, influence.
Q: (T) No, not to control; influence. But when, say, I get angry, then I'm angry for a short time but
then I'm angry for a long time because they have used this technology to amplify and extend this; is
this what they do?
A: Yes. Knowledge protects, ignorance endangers.
Q: (T) Can I feed back through their equipment what I choose?
A: Not necessary.
Q: (T) In other words, if I get angry and realize that I am being more angry than I should be, and I
change that to something positive, and feed that back to them while they have their amplifiers wide
open, will that affect them? Sour their milk, so to speak?
A: Now you are "fighting fire with fire."
Q: (T) Well, is that something that we are supposed to be doing?
A: Open. But what does phrase imply?
Q: (L) If you feed it back at them, in other words, what they are saying is, I think, when you feel
yourself getting angry, the only way to stop the whole thing is to stop being angry and be happy or at
peace. When you are happy and at peace there is not in you the desire to send anything back.

A: Bingo.

As you can see the above "battle" mentions an implant but even without implants (which we wouldn't know about probably anyway) most of us are going though battles with depression and maybe even more these days.

Laura's advice to us in the above session is not so easily accomplished but something with which we struggle. As we can see from the following the "battle" started long ago and is still raging:

Session 11 March 1995
Q: (T) We were 3rd density STO at this time. Was this after the battle that had transpired? In other
words, were we, as a 3rd density race, literally on our own at that point, as opposed to before?
A: Was battle.
Q: (L) The battle was in us?
A: Through you.

[...]

Q: (T) Okay, we were STO at that point. You have said before that on this density we have the choice of being STS or STO.
A: Oh Terry, the battle is always there, it's "when" you choose that counts!

Just finding more on the subject we also might consider the greater scope of this battle that we fight on our own personal scale/level:

Session 9 August 1997
Q: Well, has it not occurred to them that staying in space might not be better?
A: No. Planets are much more "comfortable."
Q: Okay... imagining that such a group has traveled here...
A: We told you of upcoming conflicts... Maybe we meant the same as your Bible, and other references.
Speak of... The "final" battle between "good and evil..." Sounds a bit cosmic, when you think of it, does
it not?

Our emotions are very important in this battle as the Cs explicate here:


October 7 said:
Q: I feel that my learning is at a standstill.
A: Standstills are not really of great concern as long as they are
merely rest stops on the pathway to greater knowledge or growth.
We have told you before, and others, to watch the signposts along
the way, to read the signs and understand their meanings. If you do
that, you will be far ahead of the battle. And, "battle" is the
appropriate term, because battle is what results from attack, attack
that is resisted in a progressive and positive manner. Therefore, one
wants to be ahead of the battle if at all possible, and the tools for
that are the signposts, and the signposts are EVERYWHERE!

Intuition is one, synchronicity is another. You have enough power,
knowledge and awareness already to recognize the signposts. It is
only the emotions that can cause them to be clouded over. And this
is only if the emotions which are a natural state of being for 3rd
density existence, serve as a hindrance instead of an assistant. And
that is the primary lesson for now: to take those emotions, which are
perfectly natural, and employ them as assistance. Once emotions
have been used positively, progress to 4th density STO is possible.

The existence of emotions will moderate as progression through 4th
density STO occurs. While that may not seem possible to you, or
something that you can grasp at this time, you will understand it
eventually

Of course the tactics of the battle involve looking for our weak spots and taking advantage of them as with Laura and her children in this session:


November 8 said:
Q: Are there any further things I can do to increase the safety factor where the children are
concerned?
A: This requires much discussion, as you are losing the battle there. As you know by now, the attack
seeks the weakest link in the chain for the greatest assault. And for you, the children are a very
weak link, indeed...

After saying "half the battle" is not losing heart this question was asked:

Session 10 May 2014
Q: (L) Okay, so the next question is: We have numerous activities that are creative for people to
be able to release some of their pent up emotions about all of the things that are happening in the
world that make everybody unhappy. They can get on SOTT, they can write commentary, they
can work on the forum, they can write things on the forum, they can have exchanges, they can
have meetings with other people. There are many things that people could be doing, but it's
like the excuse always comes down to, "Oh, the frequency fence. I can't do anything
because I'm depressed,
or I'm this, or I'm that or the other thing." You're saying that
they've won half the battle, but it seems to me that it's harder than that. There is
something else. How to get over that initial resistance?
A: Taking the bull by the horns is always fearful in the imagination, but when you
approach the beast, he usually lays down and submits.
Q: (L) That doesn't answer my question. Okay, what constitutes "approaching the beast"? Since
that seems to be where everybody gets stuck...
A: As Yoda said, no try, just do, if only a little. That will break the logjam. Butterfly wings and all
that.

I don't think you have "lost heart" and that is "half the battle". I think you are a warrior but just maybe don't realize it. It takes courage to stay here and express your feelings and emotions. We may be warriors with butterfly wings but we have to start somewhere I suppose. I am glad you haven't given up even with all the obstacles you are facing. Keep in mind you are NOT alone. ;)
 

Altair

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MariuszJ said:
No, you have misinterpreted my description of the situation. I feel rather like I were a scientist taking an experimental drug and then describing my feelings. Will you tell him to go to a specialist about that?

I strongly believe my feelings are related to changes in the environment and it is not only me who feels like that. I can see everyday people around me totally deprived of emotions. Only some young students laugh from time to time. Almost all people in our city feel like a war was about to break out. I see that from their faces. They express nothing and even if I talk to some of the cheerful ones, they can barely tell me a couple of words. This may be partly related to the low standard of living in Poland where I live. People are overworked and earn very little here. Graduates cannot get jobs for years. Our economic situation is on the verge of a total collapse, and there is more to that.

Well, perhaps you see yourself in the mirror? What if you try to focus on DOING instead of simple observing? If you speak Polish you could help to organize Polish Sott for example. It will help others and you to use your energy in more constructive way.
 

bjorn

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
[quote author=Alada]Indeed, but those without a conscious Aim in life, and a desire to develop the Will necessary to bring it to fruition, never seem to understand this.[/quote]

Confusing ‘’The Work’’ with some kind of idealism occurs more than often or so I think. Developing Will comes with seeing the absolute Urgency. Realizing the ‘mechanical’ state of our being and with that those of the people around us must Shock us. Otherwise we will not be able to chance. Without chance nothing real and meaningful can ever occur. It helps if people would realize this. But realizations are always personal.



- Hi Mariusz

When being depressed we lie more effortlessly to ourselves just to discard the feelings of discomfort. We rather make excuses that we are not depressed in order not to feel the pain.

Fact is that the ‘wound’ still lays dormant and no amount of lies would ever heal it. Only the truth can. Accepting that we are depressed is a process but an absolute necessity in the healing progress. That includes admitting that we lie to ourselves.


What happens more than often is that people who are depressed search and cling for relationships that in their mind can fix all their problems. This creates ‘’unholy hungers’’ and can transform ‘love’ into obsession. Some food for thought perhaps? I am not qualified to make that assessment; forums are limited when dealing with real problems. Like already advised, search for a therapist.

Also, keep in mind the feedback given in your previous topic. Its all meant positively but sometimes that requires a certain honesty when times need be. Otherwise we would not be really trying to help.
 

Neil

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
MariuszJ said:
No, you have misinterpreted my description of the situation. I feel rather like I were a scientist taking an experimental drug and then describing my feelings. Will you tell him to go to a specialist about that?

I strongly believe my feelings are related to changes in the environment and it is not only me who feels like that. I can see everyday people around me totally deprived of emotions. Only some young students laugh from time to time. Almost all people in our city feel like a war was about to break out. I see that from their faces. They express nothing and even if I talk to some of the cheerful ones, they can barely tell me a couple of words. This may be partly related to the low standard of living in Poland where I live. People are overworked and earn very little here. Graduates cannot get jobs for years. Our economic situation is on the verge of a total collapse, and there is more to that.
Well, Laura has been talking about the "quickening of the cosmos" for a little while now, and since our recent reality split incident, it is becoming much more overt. I can speak from personal experience that things seem to have more "charge" now. This has generally been an uplifting experience as my body feels more alive now than it did a month ago, but it also makes negative emotions much more potent. Things that would just get me mildly bummed before become something of a fixation. Every tiny current is accentuated and magnified. It forces one to pay stricter attention to their psychic hygiene in order to maintain the middle ground. We seem to be getting the appetizer course for "hyperkinetic sensate" and I wonder how many orders of magnitude it will increase before it kind of levels off. It is quite interesting to see some of the more esoteric aspects of Cassiopaean predictions playing out in real time.

So I think your assertion that "things are speeding up" is plausible, however in the context of what I've written above, you may want to look into what kind of "drug" you're on that makes you have the reaction you do.
 

MariuszJ

Padawan Learner
My brother worked as a lecturer at University and had a friend, fellow lecturer a mathematician. This friend of his had family in USA. At one moment, it was a couple of years ago, this fellow lecturer got a message from his family stating that a river had overflowed and they were about to be moved to a FEMA camp. It was the last message he got from his family. My brother told him the truth about FEMA camps and at that moment this friend of his, having listened to the info, extremely panicked and decided to leave Poland and to settle down abroad where he could give lectures. He had a choice to go to France or Japan. My brother passed him my advice that it would be slightly less risky to go to France, what he did.

If I am a warrior, I am not surprised that I have been attacked since my childhood. I consciously remember on case of being abducted in the night by a light beam. Taking into account also my aura colour I was curious to find out if my origin was 5D or 6D.
 

syldan

Dagobah Resident
As Neil outlines it, i also feel as if everything is not only more 'intense' but also more 'extreme':

Well, Laura has been talking about the "quickening of the cosmos" for a little while now, and since our recent reality split incident, it is becoming much more overt. I can speak from personal experience that things seem to have more "charge" now. This has generally been an uplifting experience as my body feels more alive now than it did a month ago, but it also makes negative emotions much more potent. Things that would just get me mildly bummed before become something of a fixation. Every tiny current is accentuated and magnified. It forces one to pay stricter attention to their psychic hygiene in order to maintain the middle ground. We seem to be getting the appetizer course for "hyperkinetic sensate" and I wonder how many orders of magnitude it will increase before it kind of levels off. It is quite interesting to see some of the more esoteric aspects of Cassiopaean predictions playing out in real time.

So, in my eyes, the same way, let's say, the weather is bouncing back and forth from one extreme to the other, we, also, are bouncing back and forth from one extreme to it's opposite?

This, in my understanding outlines how we can go from the impression of living in a world that is suffering from 'warming' to the same world suffering from the onset of a 'little ice age' like the snap of fingers! i would even go as far as suggesting that our psychological states can, will, are, switching from one end of the spectrum to it's opposite in 'no time flat'... Or so it seems, at least to me, in various contexts of late!

And that makes the C's statement about self-representation and presentation that much more an intensive conscious choice to work on the self as far as i am concerned, since all changes can, may and will be perceived as a change from one extreme to it's opposite by those who encounter me, in one or another situation of daily life. The same way as i perceive the changes in weather, in international politics, etc... If that makes sense? And this ties in to the "hyper-" of the hyperkinetic sensate, as in everything becomes 'extreme'? At least that is the way i presently understand it, and thank you, all of you, for the wonderful exchange on this forum and thread.
 

goyacobol

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
MariuszJ said:
My brother worked as a lecturer at University and had a friend, fellow lecturer a mathematician. This friend of his had family in USA. At one moment, it was a couple of years ago, this fellow lecturer got a message from his family stating that a river had overflowed and they were about to be moved to a FEMA camp. It was the last message he got from his family. My brother told him the truth about FEMA camps and at that moment this friend of his, having listened to the info, extremely panicked and decided to leave Poland and to settle down abroad where he could give lectures. He had a choice to go to France or Japan. My brother passed him my advice that it would be slightly less risky to go to France, what he did.

If I am a warrior, I am not surprised that I have been attacked since my childhood. I consciously remember on case of being abducted in the night by a light beam. Taking into account also my aura colour I was curious to find out if my origin was 5D or 6D.

MariuszJ,

It sounds like you have had some very traumatic events in you life such as the one with your brother's friend. I may be wrong but it seems like you have become almost paralyzed with fear. Let's say your origin if from 6D. Do you think a 6D entity would be paralyzed by 3D life? I really don't think so. I would guess most of us came here from 5D and are still in 3D school.

My guess (and this is just a guess) I would guess you are from the 5D contemplation density trying to learn some lessons in 3D. You also seem to have identified with the color of your aura which someone told you was violet which indicates you are an advanced spiritual person.

Here is your introduction:

https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic said:
I am also from Poland. My name is Mariusz. I live in Kraków. I have been interested in UFO for 25 years including CE IV and 10 years ago started to read channelings. My avatar is my aura photo taken at an esoteric conference by a man with a device called aura video station. The color of my aura is violet which was a great surprise for that man taking my photo since that color is supposed to indicate the most advanced soul.

Now, think about it. What if the video station is just a gimmick or doesn't quite give an accurate reading. After all anyone can buy one such as here:

_http://inneractive.com/energy/products/aura-video-station-7/
Aura Video Station 7 Pro

The Aura Video Station 7 Pro Package offers all the exclusive features of our Basic package, but with added adaptations for specialized healers and retailers needing more in-depth options. Use the new AnimalAura Plates to read four-legged clientele: place paws on the plates for fast readings. Or slip on the ReikiTips to further enhance one-on-one therapeutic treatments.

Aura Video Camera application is used in the photo at left. Note: this package includes animal-friendly applications too.

I really question how biofeedback can capture someone's aura. Maybe a Kirlian photo makes more sense although it is considered as fringe science by many:

Kirlian photography

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Kirlian photography is a collection of photographic techniques used to capture the phenomenon of electrical coronal discharges. It is named after Semyon Kirlian, who in 1939 accidentally discovered that if an object on a photographic plate is connected to a high-voltage source, an image is produced on the photographic plate.[1] The technique has been variously known as "electrography",[2] "electrophotography",[3] "corona discharge photography" (CDP),[4] "bioelectrography",[2] "gas discharge visualization (GDV)",[5] "electrophotonic imaging (EPI)",[6] and, in Russian literature, "Kirlianography".

Kirlian photography has been the subject of mainstream scientific research, parapsychology research and art. To a large extent, It has been co-opted by promoters of pseudoscience, fringe science and paranormal health claims in books, magazines, workshops, and web sites.

It seems that this focus on your aura color (which is even reflected in your avatar choice) has become your "Identification".

The glossary describes Identification as:
Identification
This is a nearly constant, universal feature of man's psyche. Identification takes place when some external item catches one's attention and one forgets all else. Identification is the mechanism which makes man a machine reacting to any environmental stimulus that may match his arbitrary fancy.

The 4th Way Work seeks to oppose man's automatic and routine tendency to identify with the practice of self-remembering. It is noteworthy that man loses any semblance of self-consciousness, forgets himself, when in a state of identification.

One can be identified with anything: A thought, an emotion, one's vacation plans, any social activity, the more emotionally involving, the greater the likelihood and extent of identification and self-forgetting will be.

An additional problem is that people often think that good work can only be produced in a state of identification. One 'must give the work of art/science/social situation one's all, be passionate,' and so forth, it is said. As the 4th Way sees it, all these perceived qualities of enthusiasm, spontaneity, passion are overwhelmingly mechanical and strip one of the little free will or being one might otherwise possess.

Good work requires being present in the situation, but one cannot be present in any real sense if one is identified, mechanically pursuing some program or other which the situation happens to have invoked. Presence in a real sense is not possible without 'being' and 'being' is not possible if one is purely reacting and lacks internal cohesion.

The terms fascination and confluence are used to indicate a specially strong state of identification.

Also you may or may not be fearful that you have been abducted at an early age as you hinted at in your introduction and seem to confirm in the comment above:

I consciously remember on case of being abducted in the night by a light beam.

There was another person recently who felt like this may have happened to them (maybe there are others I don't know about). Anyway, if this is part of what is troubling you I think it might help to at least kind of talk it out and get some constructive feedback. How do you feel about the memory?
 

bjorn

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
- Hi Mariusz,

Every time when someone responds on your comment you just ignore it all together and carry on with something entirely new. Are you just provoking answers for the sake of getting attention or are you truly asking? Ask yourself this.

If you have a lot on your plate it can be good to let it out but nothing constructive can come from it if you are simply not communicating with the people you are talking to. Try to take into consideration what is being said and please do so in an appropriate topic.

Not here, I think your previous topic will sub vice just fine.
 

goyacobol

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
bjorn said:
- Hi Mariusz,

Every time when someone responds on your comment you just ignore it all together and carry on with something entirely new. Are you just provoking answers for the sake of getting attention or are you truly asking? Ask yourself this.

If you have a lot on your plate it can be good to let it out but nothing constructive can come from it if you are simply not communicating with the people you are talking to. Try to take into consideration what is being said and please do so in an appropriate topic.

Not here, I think your previous topic will sub vice just fine.

bjorn,

While you may have a good point that MariuszJ does not always respond to every post (which I admit can be frustrating), I think he does deserve some "external consideration".

Just suggesting he take his posts to another topic isn't much help the way I see it.

You didn't notice that MaruszJ did respond to my previous comment about possibly being a "warrior".
goyacobol said:
I don't think you have "lost heart" and that is "half the battle". I think you are a warrior but just maybe don't realize it. It takes courage to stay here and express your feelings and emotions. We may be warriors with butterfly wings but we have to start somewhere I suppose. I am glad you haven't given up even with all the obstacles you are facing. Keep in mind you are NOT alone. ;)

If I am a warrior, I am not surprised that I have been attacked since my childhood.

And although to you he might be off topic, others commented and offered some suggestions without telling him "Not here, I think your previous topic will sub vice just fine." I am not sure what topic you meant there. When someone tells you they "have been attacked since my childhood." I think you might be interested enough to listen or ask a question. FWIW
 
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