MariuszJ said:
I have never suggested anyone to see a therapist since it is insulting. Tell your significant other to see a therapist. She will leave you as you tell her that. I try to understand them and give them some advice first. Anybody suggesting someone else seeing a therapist, himself requires seeing a therapist. If you do not see your negative emotions, it means you are so much accustomed to them you do not perceive them as negative. I've seen that hundreds of times before.
Your imagination is so confined that you cannot imagine worlds without negative emotions. Negative emotions are normal to you and you find it a good idea to take it out on a stranger or even a member of your family once and again. It is good for digestion.
Well, that looks like the pot calling the kettle black as they say.
MariuszJ, it's always worth remembering that we selectively filter and interpret the world according to how were made up, plus our assumptions and a situation which can often be way off what is actually there in reality.
I often used to have a problem receiving feedback here on the forum and elsewhere, and still do sometimes, because my ability to interpret what was being said would always be coloured by imagining that someone were angry with me, or strongly disapproving of me in some way. It
completely changes the way a message is received, completely.
By way of example: There were two members on the forum that I looked/look up to here, one of which I always used to automatically read their messages with a 'angry' voice in my head, and took virtually everything they tried to explain through that lens. The second person, I always used to read their messages with a friendly, caring tone, and filter there intent accordingly. (Interestingly, one was male, the other female).
Now, one day it happened that I had two messages open in tabs to read, one from each person (one 'always angry, the other 'always helpful'), and I unconsciously, without paying attention to who was writing, got the order the wrong way around in my head. I read the 'always angry' post with the 'always friendly/caring' voice, and vice versa. Now that, was an interesting lesson I can tell you! The 'angry' voice suddenly became 'helpful', and the 'helpful' voice became 'angry'. I found it was possible to switch between the two, which completely changed the way the message came across.
Interestingly, of the two members in question, one was male, the other female. Go figure!
It brought home to me that fact, without a shadow of a doubt, that my reading instrument, can be seriously distorted and I can easily misinterpret whatever the original intent of a message was.
Its something you can play with. If a message seems cross, angry,
negative, try re-reading it with a warm and caring tone of voice, as if from a favorite loving grandparent or close friend. It really can change the way we are able to receive what was originally intended.
So, when it is suggested that someone see a therapist, sometimes it is the case that people do indeed need some serious help that only a professional can help, and through the behavior of the member such suggestions are aimed at, other forum members are rightly allowed/required to show that person the door for the benefit and protection of all. Other times, most often in fact, the suggestion to see a therapist is not meant in that way at all.
It would be highly irresponsible to try and suggest that the forum is equipped to help people that clearly could benefit more from a professional therapeutic method, than to suggestion them that they can find it all here. many members here have befitted greatly from therapy, why should it be seen as a negative? Filtering perhaps?
