Session 12 December 2010

[OneSoul]

Thank you, Laura and everyone, for your work and dedication and preparation in doing this session and in making it available for us. I hope Ailén and Atreides feel completely better soon. I guess the attacks come in many forms.

Love this line:

Will stupendously improve reception of our messages.

And always more clues ...

 

[sitta]

After reading through this threth I have some thoughts about sharing knowledge with other people.

When I think about sharing knowledge there appear, among other problems, the problem of trust and credibility. We often think, that our familly and friends and sometimes acquaintances trust us and the information that we provide more than they do information from other sources. The thing is that when push comes to shove the reality is very different. What a shock that one is. We find out, that they may listen to us if we talk about things that we do in our professional capacity but when you step out of this comfort zone all bets are off. It's a shock when a complete strangers take us more seriously than those close to us.

This situation is a great lesson in many ways. It beats to the ground ego and self importance, helps to see reality of our relationships with family and friends more clearly. It helps us to see boundaries for external consideration in this group of individuals, and after some trials helps to learn boundaries of strategic enclosur for us.

 

[Approaching Infinity]

Interesting, I haven't experienced any physical symptoms whatsoever, but the depression - boy I don't remember feeling so low ever. It has been only few weeks that I am slowly coming out of it.
I would have never made the connection with the Paleobug.

I didn't come down with the bug. In fact, at Paleofest and in the couple weeks after I felt pretty good, physically and emotionally. But after that, my sleep started getting out of whack, culminating in a couple nights of really poor sleep just last week. I've also been going through some rough emotional spells. Last night was the worst. I don't know the best way to put it into words. Basically I was crying for all the illusions I hold about myself, and have held for as long as I can remember. Thinking I am a certain way, have certain qualities, but confronting the reality of my own 'nothingness'. A machine, totally controlled by external forces. No unity, basically a taxi for whichever passenger comes along for the ride. Changing from one minute to the next. Not a pretty picture.

So then comes the question, what to do now? The best answer I can come up with at the moment: stay active. Do whatever there is to do. Like with courage and fear, the courageous one is the one who experiences fear, but acts anyways. If I am nothing, then at least I can sincerely 'pretend' to be something. Maybe one day I will be that something, but if not, at least I will have tried, and perhaps accomplished something by helping those that have. And along the way, I can observe myself. Get to know myself as impartially as possible. What is the attitude of the Cosmic Mind towards its creation? In nature there is good and evil. Nature can be, and is, cruel and harsh. But DCM blinks neither at the light nor the dark, but sees each as it is, as a part of itself. So, as a part of the whole, I, too, can see my two natures. Yes, there is a dark part - a lazy, mechanical, nothingness. But there is also the possibility of intelligence, goodness, being, Doing. When I die, the things that matter won't be what people thought of me, but what I did with the time I had. Will I have squandered it all with needless worries and distractions? Or made something of myself, and helped ease the burden of those around me?

As things go South on this planet, I think it's time to buckle down. However long we have, it's best to use that time. Our future may depend on it, and there sure as Hades ain't anyone else doing anything about it! If 200 people can make a difference, why not strive to become one of those 200? Not because it looks good on a resume, but because it really may be our only hope. Yeah, it's the most difficult thing in the world to become and stay objective, but where would the fun be without a challenge? </depression-induced pseudo-metaphysical ravings!>

 

[Turgon]

Interesting, I haven't experienced any physical symptoms whatsoever, but the depression - boy I don't remember feeling so low ever. It has been only few weeks that I am slowly coming out of it.
I would have never made the connection with the Paleobug.

I didn't come down with the bug. In fact, at Paleofest and in the couple weeks after I felt pretty good, physically and emotionally. But after that, my sleep started getting out of whack, culminating in a couple nights of really poor sleep just last week. I've also been going through some rough emotional spells. Last night was the worst. I don't know the best way to put it into words. Basically I was crying for all the illusions I hold about myself, and have held for as long as I can remember. Thinking I am a certain way, have certain qualities, but confronting the reality of my own 'nothingness'. A machine, totally controlled by external forces. No unity, basically a taxi for whichever passenger comes along for the ride. Changing from one minute to the next. Not a pretty picture.

So then comes the question, what to do now? The best answer I can come up with at the moment: stay active. Do whatever there is to do. Like with courage and fear, the courageous one is the one who experiences fear, but acts anyways. If I am nothing, then at least I can sincerely 'pretend' to be something. Maybe one day I will be that something, but if not, at least I will have tried, and perhaps accomplished something by helping those that have. And along the way, I can observe myself. Get to know myself as impartially as possible. What is the attitude of the Cosmic Mind towards its creation? In nature there is good and evil. Nature can be, and is, cruel and harsh. But DCM blinks neither at the light nor the dark, but sees each as it is, as a part of itself. So, as a part of the whole, I, too, can see my two natures. Yes, there is a dark part - a lazy, mechanical, nothingness. But there is also the possibility of intelligence, goodness, being, Doing. When I die, the things that matter won't be what people thought of me, but what I did with the time I had. Will I have squandered it all with needless worries and distractions? Or made something of myself, and helped ease the burden of those around me?

As things go South on this planet, I think it's time to buckle down. However long we have, it's best to use that time. Our future may depend on it, and there sure as Hades ain't anyone else doing anything about it! If 200 people can make a difference, why not strive to become one of those 200? Not because it looks good on a resume, but because it really may be our only hope. Yeah, it's the most difficult thing in the world to become and stay objective, but where would the fun be without a challenge? </depression-induced pseudo-metaphysical ravings!>

Thanks for posting this AI. I've been feeling really low for a while now, with short periods of actual present awareness where the distractions and anxieties aren't getting to me. It's as if I can see two very distinct natures at war within and the stress of which will win is taking it's toll. My left side has been hurting me from a knee inflammation to jaw pains, ear problems. Random pain. But reading your post was uplifting!

 

[Z...]

Hugs to everyone.

Big hug back.

Last night was the worst- snipped</depression-induced pseudo-metaphysical ravings!>

It is a full moon (plus eclipse tomorrow) so its not a surprise. IMO now its time to lay low and turn your attention inwards if you can.
In fact today I woke up dazed and been feeling weird all day, had a strong sensation of pulling on top of my head while the fabric of reality around me seemed to be showing its threads. Very strange.

 

[Ca.]

Thank you. Very informative, and provocative, to say the least. To Ailen, and Atreides take care, and a big dose, of TLC and Hot Chicken, Vegatable Soup.

 

[Breton]

[Snip] I was crying for all the illusions I hold about myself, and have held for as long as I can remember. Thinking I am a certain way, have certain qualities, but confronting the reality of my own 'nothingness'. A machine, totally controlled by external forces. No unity, basically a taxi for whichever passenger comes along for the ride. Changing from one minute to the next. Not a pretty picture.
[Snip]

I have had a lot of these thoughts lately too. It has contributed to a feeling of deep frustration.

</depression-induced pseudo-metaphysical ravings!>

I needed your ravings just now! Thanks!

 

[Windmill knight]

</depression-induced pseudo-metaphysical ravings!>

Everything you've written above, AI, I could have written myself at some point or other since Paleofest. Including having been spared by the paleobug. This last week I've felt more motivated, though; functional, balanced and not depressed, but not necessarily happy and at peace. I also got a cold on the day of the session (12th) and I'm just getting out of it - the first time I've been ill in the last couple of years as far as I can remember.

At the moment, the bottom line for me is: if my illusions have crumbled and I am nothing but a mess; if I'll never achieve happiness, peace or Being; at least I can do what I can for this good cause. That gives me sense and purpose. Like you say:

So then comes the question, what to do now? The best answer I can come up with at the moment: stay active. Do whatever there is to do. Like with courage and fear, the courageous one is the one who experiences fear, but acts anyways. If I am nothing, then at least I can sincerely 'pretend' to be something. Maybe one day I will be that something, but if not, at least I will have tried, and perhaps accomplished something by helping those that have.

Reading the news lately has given me a strong feeling that humanity at large is doomed. Ice age coming, revolts and transparent manipulation. Time is running out. It is no longer about 'what sort of life do I want to have?', but 'what am I going to do with the last few months or years I've got left?' A normal and happy life is now out of the question. So all I've got left is my will to fight 'the dragon' (the sts system in and outside myself). And sometimes it feels like fury. Better to "rage against the dying of the light" than to "go gentle into that good night". But it would be insincere to say that this is all I am, because there is the legion of unresolved issues and programs. Which is the whole point in the first place. I could say that one thing I do have is friction. And friction is good.

Ravings over and out.

 

[GAIA]

Thank you all very much for another very informative session!!
Hope everyone is feeling better and lighter!

 

[Woodsman]

Thank-you for sharing this latest transcript. I'd been feeling edgy, wondering what was going on since I'd been noticing a lot of radical shifts going on all over the place.

A: Not yet, but yes eventually. It will be time to devote yourselves to helping those who have made the choice to be ready for the changes.

My first thought wasn't, "How can I convince others to think as I do." It was, "Have I made the choice soundly enough myself to be ready, and am I doing enough to cleanse my own machine?"

I've certainly been noticing significant awareness changes lately, both in myself and in people around me, but I can't help but think that I'm out of sync with the rest of the seekers and that I can be doing more work.

As for helping others along. . .

In spite of not being certain that I am qualified, I DO have a lot of collected knowledge which I think is useful, and I do feel a pressure to share it. There seem to be three different approaches and I've tried two of them. . .

There's the, "lead by example" mode where I'll just do what makes sense to me and talk about what I'm doing and why openly to those who ask. That seems to be fairly effective and I like the choice factor involved. Those who don't want to know, don't ask, and those who do are less inclined to attack me because they are the ones who asked. This tends to be how I am in my face to face experiences with the people around me. It's generally a fun and happy experience.

There's what I can only call, "open combat" mode on discussion forums where if one's guard is down for an instant, you'll get eaten alive by the masses who attack anything coming from outside the world of orthodox thinking. In those places I tend to adopt a fighty and even toxic approach due to the anger and frustration. The good side is that false ideas get torn down quickly; I find it useful to air controversial notions to test them by fire and see if there's anything I've missed, but it takes a stout heart to manage that, and when one is mistaken, the ego is given a real opportunity to be worked on. Owning fault in such shark tanks takes effort, but it gets easier over time. Anyway, it seems to be an effective way of getting information out into the open for people to choose to regard or not, but it's not a particularly pleasant process, and I do find I come away feeling like I've been playing Monopoly or something; more predator stuff. Still, I remind myself that public forums are just that, public, and that lies call to be given what they ask for; the truth.

Then finally, there's the, "I must convert my friends" evangelism mode. I've steered clear of that one for many reasons, not the least of which being that it is disrespectful to other people and the choices they make in life; beliefs not being discussed in public forum, but rather internally explored in the privacy of their own minds. Not really any of my business, and I find I do a lot more listening than I do speaking.

Anyway, I really do think I need to do a lot more work on myself. I've had some successes in life, but not enough to be able to say I've got things all figured out.

 

[pirataloko]

Hi everybody

First of all i want to give a warm hug to all the people affected by the "bug" in Paleofest in some way or another and i hope that ASAP everybody be ok.

Thank you all guys for this session, in some way it shocked me, but i have to say i'm starting to percieve shocks as something normal, i guess that a lot of shocks are incoming.

Reading all this thread i have to say that i understand perfectly the comments and i agree with them at least to some extent, all these thoughts and feelings are known by me too. As i see that a lot of members in this forum seem depresed, and going through a "bad" moment so i'll take my cheerleader clothes and encourage all of you come on champions, this is only a stage and as everything it has a beginning and one end.... all this is only an obstacle, so look for what is beyond the obstacle and jump it. I'm sure all you can get it, remember you had been training all this time. Come on fellows!!

Wow! Thank you Laura, and everyone else who was at this session.

This one was particularly special for me: it was on my birthday! And not only that, but the major subject of the session - the electrical nature of the Sun, comets, Earth changes etc - is a particular research interest of mine. I've actually been wanting, for a while now, to post a 'Question for the C's' along the lines of, 'Is there anything to this Electric Universe thing, or is it just more disinformation?' Too bashful to actually pose it, however. And now you spend almost an entire session on precisely that topic! And largely confirm that there is something to it (although not perhaps as extreme as the position of the EU proponents). I don't think I could ask for a better birthday present.

Once again, thank you! :) I hope those of you who got sick make a speedy recovery!

I don't know too much about it but here is a video if you don't know about it may be it can be useful in some sense it's a video about electric universe:

_http://video.google.com.au/videoplay?docid=4773590301316220374#

Greetings!

 

[Avi]

Thanks for the session to all the crew, very timely. :)

With respect to below, I was not at Paleofest but also have also felt emotionally upset, particularly the last two days, it kicked in particularly around the last week of November, after the prior 2-3 months had been "good". This time of year however always depresses me, the holidays, for that nostalgic feeling of family and closeness that childhood holidays brought has been absent for a good 15-20 years and I just feel isolated.

last night was angry, but took some melatonin and had a restful sleep. In my dreams though, there were 3 main themes, Laura and Andromeda were present and we seemed to be discussing things in the kitchen. The kitchen was mine and needed cleaning, but in general there was a feeling of support. Cannot remember much more than that other than Laura had back pains/problems and as the dream left I said hope you feel better, or heal soon, where she smiled and said thanks.

Reading the news lately has given me a strong feeling that humanity at large is doomed. Ice age coming, revolts and transparent manipulation. Time is running out. It is no longer about 'what sort of life do I want to have?', but 'what am I going to do with the last few months or years I've got left?'

I think many of us have had this thought for some time and personally I like to think that it is only a possibility, not the ONLY possibility. In particular the 'what am I going to do with the last few months or years I've got left?" This is fatalistic, something I know well. And perhaps it will be that way. But, perhaps, just maybe, there is some other reality, for instance didn't the C's say something about possibly rejuvenating and living longer than normal lifespans after the Wave? I think in general what I am trying to say is that we cannot fixate our vision upon possible outcomes only on what we have before us to do, day by day. Letting go has been a big theme for me in this respect, letting go of those things beyond control. This is what makes me angry, feeling either "out of control" or having no say in the matter, so to speak. But perhaps that too is an illusion.

I am not arguing or trying to cheer you up because it is personal when it comes to the Work and the inner battle to dismantle one's illusions, but, yet . . . .

one of the quotes from Don Juan Matus:

"It is much easier for warriors to fare well under conditions of maximum stress than to be impeccable under normal circumstances."

Something about inertia and tension, as mentioned below. And if that is true then an indirect benefit, for those of us with the willingness to learn in this hell on earth perpetuated by the 4d STS consortium provides, is to use the opportunity to bring out the best of ourselves.

I for one am re-dedicating myself based on this session, thanks again it was timely indeed! :D

</depression-induced pseudo-metaphysical ravings!>

Everything you've written above, AI, I could have written myself at some point or other since Paleofest. Including having been spared by the paleobug. This last week I've felt more motivated, though; functional, balanced and not depressed, but not necessarily happy and at peace. I also got a cold on the day of the session (12th) and I'm just getting out of it - the first time I've been ill in the last couple of years as far as I can remember.

At the moment, the bottom line for me is: if my illusions have crumbled and I am nothing but a mess; if I'll never achieve happiness, peace or Being; at least I can do what I can for this good cause. That gives me sense and purpose. Like you say:

So then comes the question, what to do now? The best answer I can come up with at the moment: stay active. Do whatever there is to do. Like with courage and fear, the courageous one is the one who experiences fear, but acts anyways. If I am nothing, then at least I can sincerely 'pretend' to be something. Maybe one day I will be that something, but if not, at least I will have tried, and perhaps accomplished something by helping those that have.

Reading the news lately has given me a strong feeling that humanity at large is doomed. Ice age coming, revolts and transparent manipulation. Time is running out. It is no longer about 'what sort of life do I want to have?', but 'what am I going to do with the last few months or years I've got left?' A normal and happy life is now out of the question. So all I've got left is my will to fight 'the dragon' (the sts system in and outside myself). And sometimes it feels like fury. Better to "rage against the dying of the light" than to "go gentle into that good night". But it would be insincere to say that this is all I am, because there is the legion of unresolved issues and programs. Which is the whole point in the first place. I could say that one thing I do have is friction. And friction is good.

Ravings over and out.

 

[GRiM]

Get well soon Ailèn and Atreides! I cant help but wonder if I was the carrier, if I was; So Sorry I had a very bad cough and running nose a few days into the PF.
Thanks for the session!

 

[JGeropoulas]

Thank you for the session. As always, there is much to ponder.
What stood out for me was:

Q: (L) I’ve been thinking that it might soon be time for us to cease all of our extreme activities, and just run the forum in a careful way. It doesn’t seem that anything is going to change anything very much. Is that useful thought to follow?

A: Not yet, but yes eventually. It will be time to devote yourselves to helping those who have made the choice to be ready for the changes.

I'm probably understanding this my (limited) way, but I've been a bit discouraged lately when I see people with whom I can sometimes speak about some 'SOTT subjects'. I thought that they seemed interested, that they would go and check for themselves, read the books, apply some diet principles, mainly because they're asking lots of questions and seem to have 'aha' moments. And now I see that they are either rejecting and ignoring the data, finding excuses not to apply the diet, etc. It's discouraging and disheartening. I know it's never lost, but in these particular cases, I wonder if I have not been 'had' and that it was just a way to make me lose a lot of time and energy...

It's nothing new for people on this forum, but it does take a lot of energy to try and keep ourselves awake, following the diet, doing the EE and generally helping in different ways while leading a 'normal' life. And trying to awaken some people who are actually having a good time sleeping could just be the straw that broke the camel's back. Am I understanding this in a too limited way?

One thing that has been on my mind lately is the question of what is the point of life on earth for most people. It seems to me that most people are not being stubborn, obtuse and delusional when they reject opportunities to "awaken". What most people are fundamentally motivated to do in their lives (it seems) is interact and share themselves (in whatever way they are able) with each other. They want to live in a relatively small familial and social groups and deal with the challenges and problems that normal life throws up. I don't see anything wrong with them wanting to do that and sticking to their guns. Most of them have been pretty successful at continuing a 'normal' life despite the increasing turmoil in the world around them. I don't seen anything wrong with them being content with the experience of life offered by the relationship dynamics involved in a limited social and familial network. After all, isn't that in fact enough (or often more than enough) for most people to deal with? Who can blame people for not wanting to engage in an endless "fight" against the evil doers of this world? For sure people are being lied to and poisoned with toxic foods and countless millions around the world are starving and dying needlessly, but most people, understandably enough, realise that they can do little or nothing to change it.

Then again, that doesn't change the fact that there is a very real possibility that, if all those people who just want a quiet life and who believe they have no power to change the world were to understand that they DO have the power to change the world - that the problems in this world are largely a result of them allowing themselves to be convinced that they can do nothing to change it - then ALL of us would experience a vast improvement in our quality of life as regards the fundamental drive to live that idyllic life where we focus on building positive and rewarding relationships with each other.

I suppose the point I am making is that it is a rare breed of person who is motivated to take on both the basic challenges of the reality of normal life AND attempt to face into and fix the problems of reality on a global (or larger) scale. And I'm not sure there are enough.

I have made many of the same observations and appreciate your thoughts about this.

 

[JGeropoulas]

Absolutely. FWIW, I never even went as far as thinking the people I was talking to would change so drastically. I was just proposing to quit gluten and dairy. And that's apparently already too much.

I may be way off, but maybe we don't need more people 'on board'. Maybe we are enough. Gurdjieff was talking about 200 conscious people. Aren't there 200 people on this forum doing the diet, the EE, having read (almost all) the books, trying to remember themselves as much as possible, i.e. doing the Work?
So maybe we 'just' need to clean our machines better (maybe even in ways we have not thought of yet?) and stop wasting time with people who cannot/will not be awoken? Especially since we might not get to stay in contact with each other for very long.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts in this thread. You've saved me a lot of typing because so much of what you said is exactly what I've been thinking/wondering/concluding :)