Session 13 December 2014

Persej

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
(parallel) How can I process or work with the emotions that I feel are underneath, but which sort of get stored under a certain layer in daily life, and so never get processed?

(L) Never get expressed or processed? Because they're not being expressed, or they have never been expressed in any way? How can you deal with the emotions that block you, or something like that?

A: Keep in mind that you have dealt with things the same way for so long that there are very deep tracks in the brain. At the same time, there are circuits that have been little or never used. This must change!!! Super efforts are needed or you will deteriorate rapidly!

Q: (parallel) Can I ask about these tracks, and how to work with them? Jump out of them? What ways I can...

(Perceval) When they say, "very deep tracks", does that mean anything to you?

(parallel) I just think of habits.

(Perceval) Like what?

(parallel) Maybe disregarding when I get like a signal when I sit alone. I think, "Okay, you should really sit down and have a think about this," and it disappears. It's just dissociation.

(Perceval) Losing a thought or idea...

(L) That's one thing that Martha Stout talks about. When you dissociate, it becomes habitual. That may be what they're talking about...

A: Yes.

Q: (L) What they're talking about is the habitual dissociation. Paying close and careful attention to what's outside, and responding to it, is what you've almost never used.

A: You live your life from inside a bubble.

Q: (Pierre) A bubble that is between you and interacting with reality.

A: Entropy awaits if you do not take advantage of the present opportunities.

(L) You have all this emotion going on...

(Ark) Do you talk to yourself in your mind?

(parallel) It takes over, yes.

(Ark) Does it happen often? When you start talking, I mean...

(parallel) No, it's not conversations. I bring up a point, and then that I guess I need to think about it. It's not very deep especially not these days when I'm working physically a lot.

(L) Is there anything else that you can give parallel right now, or should we come back to this topic at another time?

A: Let him think, work, network, and see later.
I'll wait for some more info, but that sounds very much like my problem. :/
 

mkrnhr

SuperModerator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
The Cassiopaean warning to Parallel, and by extention to most of us who have grown up in this disfunctional society/civilization echoes somehow the warning given by Gurdjieff to the Group in New York. It seems from reading his "Life is real only when I am" that they have over-intellectualizing the Work and that they neglected developping other constituents of their being. For instance, he writes:

Life is Real when I am said:
As the correctness of the functioning proceeding in us of any relatively independent organ depends on the correctness of the tempo of the general functioning of the whole organism, so also the correctness of our life depends on the correctness of the automatic life of all the other external forms of life arising and existing together with us on our planet.
It could be understood that a balance is to be maintained between the functions of one's being, as well as a balance between the inner life and the outer life, in which figures of course the interaction with others and the notion of networking.

Within a similar framework of ideas, in a review of S. Mithen's book "The Prehistory of the Mind" (haven't read the book yet) one can read:

http://l3d.cs.colorado.edu/~agorman/pdf/mithen-review.pdf said:
According to Karmiloff-Smith, after modularity occurs the modules begin to work together. She calls this “representational redescription” (RR). She further describes this as “multiple representations of similar knowledge.” Mithen ties this idea to Susan Carey and Elizabeth Spelke theory of “mapping across domains” and begins to reveal a common thread connecting other theories previously outlined. Recall that Fodor described the cognitive system as “non-encapsulating” and Gardner describes how, “one typically encounters complexes of intelligence functioning together smoothly, even seamlessly, in order to execute intricate human activities.” Fodor further claims that the wisest people are those who are most able to connect knowledge domains. Also, Mithen explains how Margaret Booden offers the, “transformation of conceptual spaces” and Arthur Koestler describes, “the sudden, interlocking of two previously unrelated skills or matrices of thought” to account for human creativity. All of these ideas appear to be describing a set of mental modules that are interconnected to create what Mithen calls, “cognitive fluidity.”
These different forms of knowledge are not merely theoretical accumulation of facts, but they are related to a the whole spectrum of human experience as in social and emotional intelligence. Therefore, living in one's head create an imbalance in being and a disconnect from reality. That's why Gurdjieff warns the students that they are "candidates for the madhouse".

OSIT
 

s-kur

Jedi Council Member
Wow! So much interesting and useful!
Thank you very much :flowers:

It seems that I had a similar experience like that girl with Bernhard that I described here http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,34910.msg512529.html#msg512529 :huh:

According to Charles Tart's Waking Up

Defense Mechanism Isolation/Dissociation


In isolation or dissociation, unacceptable or conflicting desires and
feelings are attenuated by splitting yourself into unconnected parts.
Compartmentalization is another name for this defense. If feeling A
is threatening or unacceptable because you also believe in and feel
B, then keep A and B in separate compartments in your mind so you
do not experience them simultaneously: thus no conflict. Don't put
mental energy into associating them, and they will stay dissociated.
Isolation can also involve a splitting of what normally is a unified
experience into parts that dissociate its emotional charge.
The defensive effect is similar to using identification, where conflicting
desires or feelings can be kept in separate identities, separate
subselves, and so not meet. Isolation doesn't require the energy
of adding the strong "This is me!" quality to the isolated desires or
feelings, however, or organizing them, associating them into
subselves.
Isolation can keep insights and vital experiences from helping you
to grow. I have known people who have had deep spiritual experiences,
and have yet used isolation to buffer this positive shock, so
nothing in their life changes.
Isolation defenses can be inferred when you notice someone (in-
eluding yourself) holding two strong and contradictory opinions,
usually at different moments or in different contexts, without
feeling conflict or anxiety about this inconsistency or conflict. If
you point out this inconsistency to him, he seems to evade looking
at the inconsistency, preserving the isolation. The world simulation
aspect of consciousness is deficient at creating connections, associations
between different stored experiences.
Self-observation can provide knowledge about isolated aspects of
mental functioning, but without a deliberate effort to compare and
contrast observations, occasionally reviewing the "album of photographs"
of ourselves we have collected, the observations themselves
may be stored in an isolated fashion, so they have little
impetus toward producing change. One major type of false personality
pattern, type 5, ego stinge, centers around this kind of isolation
defense (Lilly & Hart, 1975; Palmer, 1988). This type is very
good at self-observation, does it habitually, yet is little affected by
what is observed. Having a therapist or teacher who confronts you
with contradictory aspects of yourself that you have kept isolated
can be very useful.
FWIW.
 

Third Roche

A Disturbance in the Force
Laura said:
At this point, we don't know that something like this did NOT happen to SOMEONE, especially considering the weird things that were reported by many people before, during, and after the siege and destruction of Jerusalem, and made it into the texts of several historians, parts of which are still in Tacitus and Josephus. During such times, all kinds of anomalous things can happen and later be assimilated into stories and legends.
To make the point: ...
Awesome quotes Laura. It was much appreciated your qualitative reply. It seems almost certain that something extraordinary happened at those times. But yes! Doubts remain hovering on what the C’s stated (“…96 hours in a comatose state in a cave near Jerusalem… mother ship appearance and he was taken up in a beam of light.”).

Maybe not right related but yet curiously those quotes made me immediately to remember of the strange singularities observed by the Tibet’s population when the country was invaded by the Chineses at the middle of XX century. All over the Tibet, but if I remember correctly specially in Lhasa, lasting several days the people heard uproars, felt tremors, and incomprehensible weird lights were seen before the assault. The population felt that something serious was to going to occur. In the past, every time something dramatic was going to happen in the country, these phenomena used to transpire as an augury to warn the collective soul of that theological nation.
 

Gaby

SuperModerator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
Thank you for sharing! :flowers:

Laura said:
Q: (L) What they're talking about is the habitual dissociation. Paying close and careful attention to what's outside, and responding to it, is what you've almost never used.

A: You live your life from inside a bubble.

Q: (Pierre) A bubble that is between you and interacting with reality.

A: Entropy awaits if you do not take advantage of the present opportunities.
FWIW, this session reminds me of the research shared by Gabor Maté in "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts". As he says,

"Situations or activities that for the average person are likely to bring satisfaction are undervalued because, in the addict's life, they have not been rewarding, i.e. intimate connections with family".

The concept of "addict" can be applied to outdated patterns of behavior such as the deep tracks in the brain described.

:hug2:
 

ggen

Jedi Master
Thank you for yet another enlightening session, and so quickly posted! :flowers:

The C's comments on Bernhard and Humberto didn't really come as a surprise to me. I've been picking up a certain 'flavor' from their
posts/pics on FB for awhile now. It's nice to see it confirmed.
 

alkhemst

Dagobah Resident
I was reflecting a little on what came about about Parallel. I reckon the balancing between knowledge and being is a lot similar to needing to balance theory and practice. It also reminds me a lot of what Robert A Johnson was talking about with the modes of consciousness - simple, complex and enlightened. For me (in basic terms) simple is rooted in practice, complex is rooted in theory and enlightened is the perfect balance of the two - but completely integrated to form an new mode of consciousness. That new consciousness I'd say too is the balance of being and knowledge.

I feel there's also an emotional element in it that keeps many of us (myself included) rooted in a complex consciousness / stuck in finding knowledge but not really acting on it. The complex mode has it's place but like any tool it can be used for purposes that outlive it's use. For example, say I use a state of over intellectualisation to avoid what could be a real learning experience that effects real change - a change at the core (not just an intellectual change). The simple drive behind it might be a fear to face up to some fairly basic rudimentary childhood emotions, for example the fear of an authority figure that reminds me of my dad, rejecting my underlying (unconscious) plea for affection.

Instead coming fully to terms with that, I could intellectualise a situation to avoid seeing and acting on it. I might wrap it up in something like external consideration for example, to avoid speaking truth to an individual that I've projected a whole host of childhood emotions onto. I could further convince myself my actions are justified and are the best course to take.

I then avoid myself coming to terms with some basic emotional drives rooted in childhood experiences that where really a great opportunity to grow past them and thereby change my state of being. What happens then are my intellectual concepts not only stagnate me, but worse still, they contribute to further ingraining me in a false sense of reality. I always think about Don Juan's mention of how assemblage points get more fixed over time and I feel that's somewhat how it happens. When we get ingrained I imagine we act on this stance more and more, we even seek out new intellectual concepts that justify us and as mentioned, we might go down hill rapidly from here.

Anyway, just some ideas from my own experiences that hope is of value to you Parallel.
 

Nancy2feathers

The Living Force
BrightLight11 said:
Thank you for yet another enlightening session, and so quickly posted! :flowers:

The C's comments on Bernhard and Humberto didn't really come as a surprise to me. I've been picking up a certain 'flavor' from their
posts/pics on FB for awhile now. It's nice to see it confirmed.
I`ve been thinking the same thing.

Thank you, Laura and Crew for sharing the session. Lots to contemplate! :)
 

Renaissance

Ambassador
Ambassador
FOTCM Member
I'm glad Parallel's issue was brought up as I've found much in what was discussed personally applicable. Norman Doidge wrote a great book called The Brain That Changes Itself which is both inspirational and informative. In short he describes how the neuroplastic mechanisms that are in place to deepen habitual brain circuits are the same as those that can produce new ways of thinking and behaving. I think what Laura said here really gets to the core issue of how to make some changes:

Paying close and careful attention to what's outside, and responding to it, is what you've almost never used.
As mentioned, I think I too have these dissociative habits. Just one example I've noticed in myself is how I read the forum. I'll 'speed read' through responses and miss quite a bit of what is being said. And if I'm not really paying attention to what others are saying, there's little that can be done by way of responding to what is going on outside. And I think it's quite a barrier for self development as well. There's really no (or very little) input or output.


BrightLight11 said:
The C's comments on Bernhard and Humberto didn't really come as a surprise to me. I've been picking up a certain 'flavor' from their
posts/pics on FB for awhile now. It's nice to see it confirmed.
I agree. Another bizarre thing is his cheerleading for that documentary that makes Hitler out to be 'misunderstood' or a 'good guy'. Nazi Germany is a great case study to recognize and understand ponerology. The book Defying Hitler describes this rather well from the point of view from the average normal person living through those times. We know there was a lot of deception in the victors' version of WWII, and yes the US and Britain committed great atrocities as well. But that doesn't negate what the Nazis were all about.

I do think Bernhard has done some good summaries of other peoples work, but I don't think writing summaries is the issue. It seems like there is an element in Bernhard's writing that comes across as 'his work' where he has set himself up as a teacher with followers. In other words it seems like he's used the efforts of the group (and particularly Laura's work) for himself.

I recently read an excerpt of a session about how detrimental it can be for people to try and utilize the group for their own purposes. I think the excerpt was related to Vincent Bridges, but I couldn't find the exact session. The C's said something along the lines of how there's a blowback of sorts when people try to utilize the group for themselves. I think the dynamic can be applied to more than just the extreme form as with Bridges. In some respects we all utilize the group for personal needs and issues, but the dynamic changes when the network is utilized in a way that is beneficial for others. Bernhard never really networked about the information he writes about, and it seems to have come back to 'bite' him.
 

lilyalic

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Persej said:
(parallel) How can I process or work with the emotions that I feel are underneath, but which sort of get stored under a certain layer in daily life, and so never get processed?

(L) Never get expressed or processed? Because they're not being expressed, or they have never been expressed in any way? How can you deal with the emotions that block you, or something like that?

A: Keep in mind that you have dealt with things the same way for so long that there are very deep tracks in the brain. At the same time, there are circuits that have been little or never used. This must change!!! Super efforts are needed or you will deteriorate rapidly!

Q: (parallel) Can I ask about these tracks, and how to work with them? Jump out of them? What ways I can...

(Perceval) When they say, "very deep tracks", does that mean anything to you?

(parallel) I just think of habits.

(Perceval) Like what?

(parallel) Maybe disregarding when I get like a signal when I sit alone. I think, "Okay, you should really sit down and have a think about this," and it disappears. It's just dissociation.

(Perceval) Losing a thought or idea...

(L) That's one thing that Martha Stout talks about. When you dissociate, it becomes habitual. That may be what they're talking about...

A: Yes.

Q: (L) What they're talking about is the habitual dissociation. Paying close and careful attention to what's outside, and responding to it, is what you've almost never used.

A: You live your life from inside a bubble.

Q: (Pierre) A bubble that is between you and interacting with reality.

A: Entropy awaits if you do not take advantage of the present opportunities.

(L) You have all this emotion going on...

(Ark) Do you talk to yourself in your mind?

(parallel) It takes over, yes.

(Ark) Does it happen often? When you start talking, I mean...

(parallel) No, it's not conversations. I bring up a point, and then that I guess I need to think about it. It's not very deep especially not these days when I'm working physically a lot.

(L) Is there anything else that you can give parallel right now, or should we come back to this topic at another time?

A: Let him think, work, network, and see later.
I'll wait for some more info, but that sounds very much like my problem. :/
I agree, a major problem personally is "talking to myself" in my mind, or as I call it sometimes 'over-analysing'.. it definitely seems to have gotten worse since I started on this path, but maybe due to slight change in consciousness.

It's like you can think of something, and you have all this (what little I have) dispersed knowledge, that you can apply a reason or answer for any situation or the thought - for example struggling with a decision, "Is this a lesson? does this need to be done? it could be this.. this... etc." or if you're feeling a certain way "this could be down to emotional forces, the EE I did at the beginning of the week etc..."

Typing that out just gives me more indication that more knowledge is needed I suppose.

Thank you for the session, extremely informative!
 

shijing

The Living Force
Thanks to everyone at the chateau for this session!

Renaissance said:
I think I too have these dissociative habits. Just one example I've noticed in myself is how I read the forum. I'll 'speed read' through responses and miss quite a bit of what is being said. And if I'm not really paying attention to what others are saying, there's little that can be done by way of responding to what is going on outside. And I think it's quite a barrier for self development as well. There's really no (or very little) input or output.
I have that problem as well -- I tend to compulsively try to read everything that's been posted on a particular day, but the problem is that I don't absorb a lot of it if I try to do it too quickly. I'm trying to work on slowing down and bumping quality of reading over quantity, but it requires fighting with ingrained habits.

Renaissance said:
I don't see anything wrong with anybody writing up summaries of other people's work, but there seems like there is an element in Bernhard's writing that comes across as 'his work' where he has set himself up as a teacher with followers. In other words it seems like he's used the efforts of the group (and particularly Laura's work) for himself.
I was put off by the student-guru dynamic that Bernhard cultivated on Facebook -- it seemed to be a not-so-subtle form of feeding. I am sorry to say that I reposted his first Hitler video several months ago before watching it completely, which is probably related to the point above (not giving something complete attention before acting).
 

Renaissance

Ambassador
Ambassador
FOTCM Member
I got curious about Bernhard's blog post that was brought up in the session. He goes on a bit about hyperdimensional realities, love bites and related stuff first, but it seems the basis for everything he wrote is the one-week affair he had with this woman:

_http://veilofreality.com/2014/11/22/the-dark-side-of-cupid-hyperdimensional-interferences-in-love-relationships/

You’d think that by now I would have had learned my lessons, but no, a year and a half later I got involved in another relationship that only lasted for a couple of months but had the Love Bite/Dark Side of Cupid written all over even more. I want to make clear that non of what happened with this or the other relationships I mentioned is anyone’s “fault”, as Eve Lorgen stresses as well. In retrospect, it felt as if we were being played like pawns on a chessboard. So keep in mind that this is not about blame, nor about demonizing or anything “personal” as I share what happened. I found myself in a strong romantic bliss with all the fuzziness and buttterflies with someone I met over the internet. She contacted me because she has followed my work for some years and it felt nice at the beginning to connect that way. I told my friend Humberto all this and he did see some red flags from the get-go as has been confirmed by other friends as well later on, but again I ignored that too, distracted by appearance. One thing leads to the next and we started skyping. We kept in contact and thought of doing a music/art project together, but underneath all that something else was happening. After only a couple of weeks of skyping we decided to meet each other. There were also a lot of synchronicities that seemed to show that this was meant to happen. We had dreams of each other, finished each other sentences as if we were psychically linked. It was very magical. She booked a flight and came to visit me. I remember on my way to the airport feeling that something is not right about this. This happened way too fast, but again, I ignored all the red flags and deeper hunches I got. After having not been with a woman for a year and a half I was also just looking forward to some female company.

The first night she was here we had sex right away and after the third day of having sex daily I got sick badly, coming down with fever and and a severe sore throat. Keep in mind that I haven’t gotten sick in five years at that point and I’m a healthy person. Not even five days of her being at my place, still recovering from my illness, other issues came up. According to her, I was not showing enough affection or giving more compliments. So I saw this in a positive light and opportunity to address these issues, especially since this related to some of my work about shadow projection and unfulfilled childhood needs which she liked so much before we ever met, as she told me. However, communicating about all this reasonably was not possible. She got triggered a lot and had many romantic expectations. We came to an understanding here and there where she was able to see how a lot of it related to her childhood and we switched back into romance mode, enjoying our time together. But then it switched again as if everything we talked about was forgotten, resulting in more overblown emotional turmoil.

Only a week later she complained why I don’t respond to her sexual cues and why we don’t have sex more often. She said that she’s just very sexual and “proud” of her sexuality, and that I just don’t have a strong libido. Some of her sexual desires didn’t feel right to me, comparing me with her past lovers who engaged in these kind of things and that she just has to get “used to me” that I’m not into that and not as sexual. Keep in mind that all this started to happen only one week into us ever being together. Naturally I got turned off to engage sexually at one point because there was no true intimacy in terms of emotional connection, nor a deeper platonic connection and communication. The focus on sex and physical affection and her romantic expectations around that were over-riding everything else. It was deeply confusing. One day she was all over me and I over her and we were in some sort of intense romantic bliss, the next day she shut down triggered by something I didn’t do, or say something as she expected me to, and back and forth. However, at the same time I felt a lot for her, believing I was in love.

I started to feel very drained with a lot of body pain, especially in my solar plexus. Going to work and doing bodywork became very difficult for me. She also started to feel drained. Whenever I tried to talk about all that and apply basic psychology, she got triggered a lot and took it personally. I tried to approach it all with empathy and compassion the best I could. Having said that, I also didn’t always handle these situations well. I was so confused and literally thought I was going crazy, so at times I became over-bearing and we got into arguments. My childhood wounds of “not being good enough” got triggered as well. I knew that stuff would come up eventually as they always do in relationships, but I did not expect for all this to come up only one week after meeting for the first time; not at all. I realized my mistake of connecting so fast and intensely with someone I didn’t really know, however, there was no escape since she was here for four weeks. We did have good times as well and fun as well, but the emotional roller coaster of extreme highs and lows was completely out of the ordinary which I never experienced before in that short amount of time.

Feeling shame and guilt around not satisfying her enough sexually, I engaged sexually more with her than I felt comfortable with. There were other red flags which I ignored relating to her sexual history and upbringing which surfaced more over time, but which I also rationalized away. From the outside it’s easy to see it all but when you are tagged/set up by a Love Bite, reason goes out of the window. The intense emotional pull to be with her was overriding it all and I got lost in the romantic bliss we had.

“It is very important to not participate in the normalization of sexual behaviors that are not based in mutual respect and deep reverence. This may sound prudish but I do think human sexuality is powerful and threatening to the dark forces and they use normalizing sexual deviance and loose sexual behaviors to destroy people and to prevent the true spiritual potential of human sexually from being realized and enjoyed. There is no comparison when sacred sexuality is honored, realized and or known. Lower forms of sexuality are then obviously repulsive, low and degrading to every person involved.
[…]
Having the good sense to set appropriate boundaries, finding and addressing our blind spots and past traumas that create unconscious reactions and developing the capacity for highly evolved skills of discernment is of extraordinary importance. If we have not addressed our own blind spots and unconscious triggers or do not have a clear sense of what is really going on, this can be one of the easiest ways that narcissists and entities can use to take and misuse our energy.”

- Eve Lorgen, Spiritual Warfare and the Human Soul – Reptilian Hosting and Strip Clubs
The last week of her stay I got sick again and was emotionally very drained. Another red flag was the fact that she had been suffering from sleep paralysis throughout her life and she also shared that she had high strangeness experiences in her life with alien entities. While she was here, she had a couple of episodes of sleep paralysis, the most disturbing one was shortly before she left. She woke up in the middle of the night after being in sleep paralysis, being afraid. I woke up too and held her in my arms, trying to calm her down, telling her that I’m here and all is good. As I laid down again next to her, all of a sudden I felt this very strong sexual energy coming from her. Although I was tired I got very turned on and started to have sex with her. After it was over I felt right away that this shouldn’t have happened because I felt very animated during the act, not being myself at all.

The next day I asked her why she wanted to have sex after her sleep paralysis. She said that she didn’t feel sexual at all and was surprised that I came on to her. She also felt that it was off and shouldn’t have happened but also engaged with me assuming that I just wanted to have sex. She also shared more about her sleep paralysis. When she was in it she saw two entities, one my body and one on her body as we were laying in bed. I wasn’t aware of any of that. Connecting all the dots, I tried to bring up the topic of spirit attachments and even the Love Bite scenario but it triggered her immensely taking it all way too personal. It was clear to me that something was working through her which affected me as well. However, she kept justifying herself, her sexuality and “affectionate nature” and there was no way of talking about all that and exploring it objectively.

A couple of days after that incident she flew back home and we left on a good note. We then tried to work through all the issues that have been coming up over long-distance. It was a mess. I was very confused. Part of me knew that this needed to stop and we need to stop engaging. Another part of me wanted to work it out so desperately and I felt a strong emotional attachment to her. The communication issues became worse. It felt like we were talking in different languages. I was also not handling the situation well at times and kept writing to her although she told me that she needed space on her own. My need for closure and letting go, contradicted by a desire to work things out and my emotional distress around all that was very confusing, for both me and her. I was hurting a lot but the grief and emotional pain was too over-blown compared to any other break-up after such short period of time. I was unable to let go and the pain in my solar plexus increased, even manifesting in a muscle spasm in that area that lasted for weeks and gave me a great deal of pain as well. I wasn’t able to function, not able to do my work. I felt just like after the break-up from my last relationship. That’s also when I realized that there is more going on than just basic psychological stuff or relationship issues. It was so extreme, feeling drained and paralyzed. The emotional turmoil got the best of me. The intense pain in my solar plexus was the same pain I experienced in the other two relationships as well and never experienced in any other relationships. In most of the case studies by Eve Lorgan, one or both partners also experienced uncomfortable sensations and pain in the solar plexus area:

“Physical complaints such as solar plexus sensations and exhaustion are characteristic of psychic vampirism, as opposed to simple emotional vampirism.”

Finally after a couple of months of back and forth she realized more and more how her childhood issues were coming through resulting in expectations that no man can fulfill which matched my own childhood wounding. She also was able to see how our relationship had strong aspects of a dark side of cupid scenario. We left it off at that and stopped communicating all together which seems the best for both of us. It’s interesting, as soon as we both truly acknowledged what actually happened in light of the Dark Side of Cupid without taking things personal, it was easier to let go and the pain in my solar plexus diminished although it still took a couple of week for it to pass completely. While I was writing this blog I started to feel pain in my solar plexus again and felt drained at times, not being able to focus as if “something” didn’t want me to write all this. However, the more I pushed through it with the help of good supporting friends who gave me good feedback and kept encouraging me, it did get better. Taking extra care of myself and especially getting into my body through yoga and bodywork has helped a lot.
It seems that instead of recognizing that he was preying on this woman, he went through a thousand hoops and created this huge narrative to justify it, and blame her (and aliens) instead. I think it's also pretty awful that he's putting this woman through this publicly, when really it's his own behavior that is the issue.
 

SummerLite

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Thank you Laura, C's and All,

This part was particularly interesting to me.

"A: [answer comes super fast, pointer nearly flying off the board] The love bite scenario is more a government disinformation program for the weak minded and susceptible than anything else. Notice that all the effects can be easily produced with microwave manipulation of consciousness and emotions along with the normal interactions of social programming and psychopathology".

Q: (L) Uuh... WHAT was that? I think they were REALLY wanting to get that said! [laughter + review of answer]

*******
So it seems the C's find it important to comment on this...!

Eve and her associates are in a certain spot light these days. I haven't looked at her work closely at all but she "seems" to present credible information and is quite knowledgeable. This is my limited perspective and I'm sure its incomplete. She IS having an influence on people it seems, so something needed saying?

There is so much flying around theses days about "aliens" and what they're doing to us. Its difficult to discover what is really going on behind all this. The material presented on the forum here, books, Sott, is quite helpful but still requires time and sifting through. At times I have what I call the "Alex Jones Affect". I listened to Alex for awhile years ago and decided one of his main purposes was to give the impression that the controllers have way more power then they actually do. This is the same impression I have with some of the alien stuff being thrown around these days and is perhaps part of the program dished out by 3d/4d STS. As was pointed out here, this fellow Bernhard isn't taking responsibility for his own actions. Not exercising his free will choice.

I also appreciate the quotes from Gurdjieff in reply to parallel's challenge. I also recognize this as something occurring within me now. I notice a inner imbalance with the knowledge I have accumulated and the need for it to become a part of my being. More being please!

Thanks,
 

Straycat

The Force is Strong With This One
The mention of "habitual dissociation" struck a nerve. I've done that since as early as I can remember in childhood.
 

l apprenti de forgeron

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Thanks for sharing this new session! :cool2:
Persej said:
(parallel) How can I process or work with the emotions that I feel are underneath, but which sort of get stored under a certain layer in daily life, and so never get processed?

(L) Never get expressed or processed? Because they're not being expressed, or they have never been expressed in any way? How can you deal with the emotions that block you, or something like that?

A: Keep in mind that you have dealt with things the same way for so long that there are very deep tracks in the brain. At the same time, there are circuits that have been little or never used. This must change!!! Super efforts are needed or you will deteriorate rapidly!

[...]

A: Let him think, work, network, and see later.
I'll wait for some more info, but that sounds very much like my problem. :/
Yes, mine too.
 
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